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Geometry getting you down?
2008-03-25 23:46:00
This week's Mr. Teacher column on education.com is all about the perils and pitfalls of third grade geometry. I'm not even talking about proofs and theorems and complementary angles or insulting angles! Just the ability to name two and three dimensional shapes often escapes my students. I especially love it when I ask a child, "What shape is this?" and they reply, "polygon." Sure, in the Cliff Claven, Who are three people that have never been in my kitchen before sense of the question -- it's technically correct. But that's like someone pointing at Lassie and asking, "What kind of dog is she?" and you replying, "mammal." Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
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Busted Brackets and other Easter traditions
2008-03-24 03:40:00
Well, if you know ANYTHING about college basketball, then you will understand what I mean when I say that my bracket is completely busted. My picks were perfect after the first day (even though my own alma mater, Duke, deserved to lose), and after the first two days, I was looking really good. Not to mention that I had Friday off from school, so I got to watch basketball all day long. You would have thought that I graduated from Western Kentucky, what with the way that I was screaming and running circles in my living room when that kid hit the buzzer beater in overtime. Then we got to the round of 32, and things started to go sour. Duke once again played like they deserve to lose, and this time they did! Many expletives were flying on Saturday morning, but here on this family-friendly blog, I'll just say that Duke did not play optimally and their performance left much to be desired. Texas A&M, my secondary school if you will, played a much better game, and almost knocke...
More About: Easter , Traditions , Busted

The Heimlich Maneuver
2008-03-21 05:31:00
IMC guy will probably agree with me when I say that Duke's Gerald Henderson should be nicknamed "Heimlich." Because he certainly saved the Blue Devils from choking tonight. Number 2 seed Duke beat number 15 seed Belmont by a point, thanks to a last-minute layup from Heimlich Henderson.Of course, it's not like I actually got to WATCH the game. I was stuck at the school for parent conference night! And I do mean stuck, since my last conference ended around five after seven, but I couldn't leave until 10 till eight. All I could do was pace back and forth in front of my computer as the ESPN scoreboard automatically reset itself every 60 seconds. I'm pretty sure that's how Jean Paul Sartre defined hell.At least we have tomorrow off, thanks to the inclement weather day and the fact that DISD never closes due to weather. So I will be set firmly in front of my television set disagreeing with every word that comes out of Billy Packer. In other news, we began the first round of our class...

Cell phones and downpours
2008-03-19 00:19:00
This week's Mr. Teacher column on education.com is all about the issues of cell phones in school. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with that too much, at least not as much as many high school and middle school teachers do. I still just can't get over the images from those videos in Dangerously Irrelevant's entry to last week's Carnival of Education. It rained all day long today. And by rain, I mean unleashed a monsoon. Ironically, it was hot and stuffy in my classroom because the air-conditioning is not working. It was the same way yesterday. I had my windows open for a little bit, but when the windowsill started getting wet, I had to close them most of the way. One of the other teachers who goes home via the same route that I do came in at the end of the day and told me that a nearby road on our route was flooded. So we spent about 10 minutes online trying to map out an alternate route. That task took us right past White Rock Lake, and it was a little bit scary to driv...
More About: Cell Phones , Phones , Cell

My crazy is crazier than your crazy
2008-03-18 00:08:00
I just learned today that parent conference night is this Thursday. Of course, I'm sure it's been on the official school calendar all year long, but I'll admit right now, I very rarely look at that thing. So, I've allowed it to creep up on me... I was about to write something else, when a really really nasty thought broke into my mind. It only at this very moment occurred to me that parent conference night on Thursday means I don't get to watch ANY basketball that day. I already knew I was going to be missing the early games because of the school day, but I was looking forward to going home and having an evening full of basketball, followed by an entire day of basketball, since we have Good Friday off. Now I'm going to miss ALL of Thursday!!! @!#$^!! Anyway, moving past that little detail (which really SUCKS!!), let's get back on the theme of conference night. And while we're at it, let's tie that into this week'sINTERACTIVE MONDAY!!! OK, here's this week's questio...
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Duke's a 2 seed, Learn Me Good's a best of blogs nominee!
2008-03-17 01:27:00
The college basketball tournament brackets came out tonight, and the Duke Blue Devils have a number two seed in the West bracket. Now that the brackets are live, you only have until Wednesday night to make your picks if you plan on participating in this year's March Mathness. Make your picks, and see if you can beat Mister Teacher!Also, I learned that I have been nominated for a 2007 Best of Blogs Award! This is definitely a great honor, and I have the wonderful Mamacita to thank for nominating me! Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
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No baller left behind
2008-03-16 01:05:00
I found this little gem over on Equity is not Optional, via So You Want to Teach?It is a great basketball equivalent to what our kids and teachers are going through in public school nowadays. Also, it seemed to fit the theme of the month, baby! ;)The basketball version of what is going on in education right now. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable. If after two years they have not won the championship their basketballs and equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the championship. All kids will be expected to have the same basketball skills at the same time, even if they do not have the same conditions or opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest in basketball, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents. ...
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Set answers to stun
2008-03-14 18:59:00
I've been meaning to write about this topic for a few weeks now. I think it's funny how my kids sometimes get stunned and go through a short period in a daze. This happens most frequently when we are doing something in class that requires the kids to call out answers without raising their hands. For instance, we do something every day that I call Minute Math. I put an overhead transparency up on the board that has about 40 multiplication or division questions on it, and the kids get two minutes to write down the answers to as many as they can. When the two minutes are up, I call out the problems, and the kids call out the answers. There are, of course, some kids in my class who call out these answers much louder than others. You know the type, I'm sure you have them in your class as well. Sometimes they don't even let me finish the question before yelling out an answer. "Three time--" "TWENTY-FOUR!!!!" So it's always funny when these kids call out the WRONG answer to a qu...
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The 162nd Carnival of Education: March Mathness Edition
2008-03-12 09:49:00
Mister Teacher: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the 162nd edition of the Carnival of Education . We're coming to you live, deep in the heart of March Mathness, and with the big tournament mere days away, we've got analysis on many of the top stories of the week. As always, I'm joined by my easily excitable colleague and friend, Dick Vitale.Dick Vitale: Thank you, Mister Teach! I'm so excited to get things started, baby! But I have to say, the tournament directors have really made things weird by adding a 65th team! How do you get half of 65?? Somebody needs some Fractorix, baby!MT: And somebody needs some Valium. Remember Dick, basketball is next week; today we're focusing on educational topics, like this post about integrated math at Wayzata High School, from Matt the Scholar.DV: Oooh, higher mathematics? When it comes to math, I understand 2-point buckets and the deep 3, baby! The kind of math teams will be doing next week in the Big Dance! But speaking of d...
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Bring out your Newcomers
2008-03-11 17:59:00
Do you have any Newcomer classes at your school? In Dallas, we get so many kids from out of the country who speak a language OTHER than Spanish that we had to form new classes specifically for them. Thus was born the Newcomer class. In today's Mr. Teacher column on education.com, I talk a little bit about the Newcomer classes at my school. It's a little bit of a change of pace from my usual humorous banter, but I think still an interesting read. Also, this is the very last call for submissions for tomorrow's Carnival of Education. I'm still waiting for entries from a lot of you -- Mrs. T., Happychyk, Ms. C, Simply Sublime, Mrs. Bluebird -- let's get 'em in for the nine o'clock CST deadline tonight! Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
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What are your Spring Break plans?
2008-03-10 21:51:00
Don't you just hate losing an hour over the weekend? Well, the good thing for me is that this week is my Spring Break , so I was able to sleep in for that extra hour and make it up this morning. And since it's Monday, it's time for another INTERACTIVE MONDAY!!!! This is your second chance to get in on the March Monday Madness contest, for the chance to win a book or a T-shirt! Just leave a response to this post, and you're in! This week's question is, What will you do over your Spring Break this year? Normally, my Spring Break is a week later, and it's the week when the college basketball tournament starts. The first round of the tournament is always during the day on a Thursday and a Friday, so in the past few years, I've been able to watch it all. Unfortunately, the tournament starts NEXT week, and I'm off THIS week. So this year, my plans for Spring Break are mostly to relax, catch up on my sleep, and do some writing. I'll be hosting the Carnival of Education this W...
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Send 'em in!
2008-03-09 07:13:00
Be sure to get those Carnival of Education submissions in soon! I'm hosting it this Wednesday, so you need to get my your entries by Tuesday 9PM CST. Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
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Education.com reviews Learn Me Good
2008-03-08 17:28:00
The good folks at education.com have put up a review of my novel, Learn Me Good on their site, and it's a great one!Please check it out, and tell all your pets, I mean friends to check it out as well! Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
More About: Education , Reviews

March Mathness, bay-bee!
2008-03-06 23:53:00
Hello, sports fans! The NCAA men's basketball tournament is still a couple of weeks away, but ESPN has opened up their Tournament Challenge, and so I've jumped on that baby like a flea on a dog. I'm inviting everyone who reads this to join my ESPN group and to make your bracket picks when they become available. It doesn't matter if you're a college basketball fan or not, it's still lots of fun. Once the tournament starts, you will be locked out, so you want to go and set up your entry right now. First go here to register, then look for the group called March Mathness. Hope to see you there! Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.

I got nothin'
2008-03-06 01:53:00
This is what one of my kids actually said the other day in class. We were having a class discussion, and he had raised his hand. Typically, with my kids, they raise their hands and consider being called on their cue to begin THINKING about what their answer might be. As opposed to me calling on them being their cue to STATE their already thought of answer. So I call on A, and he gets that look like the gears have begun slowly turning -- eyes rolled back in the head, soul has left the body -- but no answer comes out. Just as I'm about to call on the child in front of him, A says, "I got nothin'." One of those times I had to just stifle the laughter. Got a few "quick hits" here, as the local sports station would call them. Someone pointed out to me that there have only been a few entries to the March Monday Madness Contest, and that therefore their chances of winning were tremendous. Since third grade probability is fresh in my mind, as we covered it last week, I have to admit ...

TAKS and the cover-up
2008-03-05 02:50:00
Tomorrow is TAKS day, and today's Mr. Teacher column over on education.com is all about the rigamorale that everyone has to go through to get ready and administer the test.'Nuff said.Thought I might rerun a column from last year where I sent an imaginary letter to the district about our pre-test prep. Enjoy.Dear District Personnel:I began covering aspects of my room today, per instructions for TAKS administrations, but I have begun to realize how futile my efforts are. You see, if I am to remove all the visual aids that might unfairly help my kids during the test, it's not enough for me to merely place construction paper over my number line (so that the kids will not be able to look up and see what number comes after 42) or over my Word Wall (so that the kids will not be reminded of the proper spelling of the word "cylinder" -- even though any question relating to a cylinder will already have the word right there).Verily, even covering up my Classroom Rules, which, granted, ARE m...
More About: Cover , Cover-up , Cover Up

March Monday Madness
2008-03-04 01:46:00
Hey everyone, it's March ! And as we all know, we can't have March without a little Madness ! So to celebrate, let's have ourselves a little contest! (And possibly use a few more exclamation points!!!) This contest will run through the month of March, and it will tie in to the Interactive Monday s that occur during the month. It's quite simple to enter. All you have to do is leave a comment, answering whatever the question of the week is. Leave a witty rejoinder, and you get one entry. You can only get one entry per week, but you can get multiple entries by participating each week. If I've done my math correctly, there will be FIVE Interactive Mondays in March this year, so if you respond every week, you can have five entries in the March Monday Madness Contest! I will select two winners once we are in April, and those winners can take their pick of two prize options. Option one is a copy of the heralded, acclaimed, prize-winning novel, Learn Me Good. Option two is a sty...

The lights are off, and nobody's home
2008-03-04 01:04:00
This morning, the Dallas area had a major storm. When I got to the school at around 7 a.m. the power had gone out and there were no lights in the building. It's a pretty good thing I don't scare too easily, because otherwise I would have been freaking out being the first person to walk down the pitch black third-grade hallway. Once I used my bat-like sonar and gained access to my classroom, I was able to pull up the shades and let a little bit of light into the room. Then I went back outside and did my usual morning crosswalk duty. The power was still not back on by the time I picked up my kids, so we ate breakfast in darkness. The kids of course kept asking, "What happens if the lights don't come on on Wednesday?" Referring to Wednesday's TAKS test. I told them they'd have to take it in the dark. Evil, I know. Sorry. At around 8:10, the power came back on in a very strange fashion. The lights out in the hallway came on, but when I flipped the switches in my classroom,...
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The shirt tail vigilante
2008-03-03 00:51:00
Now that Dallas ISD has a student dress code, teachers have become the unofficial enforcers of that code. Most of the kids do wear the collared shirts like they're supposed to, but many if not most of them have a huge problem with tucking their shirts in. Every year, I tell myself that that is a battle I'm not going to fight because it's just not worth the time and effort. And every year, I get annoyed when I see someone's shirt untucked five seconds after I have just watched them tuck it in. This year, instead of just ordering the kids to tuck their shirts in every time I see a violation, I have taken to calling names. I tell the kids, "Please don't be a Slobby McSlopslop with your shirt untucked. I'd like to see Spiffy McNeato with the shirt tucked in!" So whenever I see one of my kids with his/her shirt tail out, I just say, "Hi, Slobby." They instantly know what this means, and tuck their shirt in. When my kids come in with their shirts tucked in, I say, "Look at all...
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The Crazies Rule!
2008-02-29 03:58:00
My old roomie sent me this link today. It's an ESPN analyst named Beanie Cook talking about how clever the Duke Cameron Crazies are. Being a former Crazy myself, I greatly appreciate his viewpoint.Take that, IMC Guy!! :) Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
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No copies for old men
2008-02-29 00:47:00
OK, so maybe you recognize my post title as a ripoff of an Oscar-nominated movie. I'm going to write about a topic that ticks me off a bit, so I was tempted to use the title There Will Be Blood... You know, I'm pretty proud of myself because I can set up a computer system. I am able to operate a DVD player. I even know how to stop the constant flashing of 12:00 on a VCR. However, I (and the rest of my fellow teachers) am unqualified to run a photocopier. At least, that is what has been decided at my school. What used to be the teachers workroom has now become the teacher's workroom. A subtle difference, I know, but a crucial one. For the first three years that I taught, we were responsible for making our own copies. Once a week, after planning together, the third-grade math teachers would go to the workroom and copy whatever we were going to use for the next week. If, for some reason, we discovered on a Tuesday that we needed something for Wednesday (or even that very Tue...

Start speaking my language!
2008-02-28 03:19:00
Today when I took my kids to the cafeteria for lunch, one of the teacher's aides was already in there screaming at the kids to be quiet. This is sadly the norm for our cafeteria, and for that teacher's aide in particular. As I entered the cafeteria myself, I heard her yelling, "Estudiantes no hablando!!" Right then I was walking past one of my students who has a voice that sort of sounds like Goofy from Walt Disney cartoons. As the teacher's aide continued to shout, I heard this student say very calmly, "I don't even speak Spanish." Not frightened by the yelling, not instructed -- merely with a shrug of his shoulders, as if to say, "What's the deal lady? Have some fish sticks and stop shouting." Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
More About: Language , Speaking

You mean I have to schedule?
2008-02-27 00:22:00
This week's Mr. Teacher column over on education.com is all about lesson plans. You know what I'm talking about. If you work in my district, you can relate to the excess paperwork that we're dealing with here. If you work in another district, you might have very similar stories. And of course, they keep telling us that next year, even MORE detail will be required... Stop by, leave a comment, etc. Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
More About: Schedule

Can't get enough of the Oscars?
2008-02-25 03:34:00
Not that I watch them or anything, but I did hear rumors that the Academy Awards were on Sunday night. As usual, I've hardly seen any of the movies up for Best Picture award, so the presentations really just don't mean that much to me. But, I thought the topic might make for a fun edition of this week's INTERACTIVE MONDAY!!! Here's this week's suggestion: Pick a movie, any movie, that you have seen in the theaters this year and assign it your own made up award. I'll go first. Last month, I saw The Dewey Cox Story: Walk Hard. I hereby bequeath this motion picture with the award Best Movie to Avoid on a First Date, Seeing As How It Contains Scenes of Full Frontal Male Nudity. (and the crowd goes wild) Your turn! Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
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My birthday wishes
2008-02-21 04:02:00
Hey everyone,Tomorrow is my birthday, so I thought I might make a couple of birthday wishes.1) That everyone who reads this might go to Amazon.com and order a copy (or 5) of my book, Learn Me Good!2) Barring that, that everyone might at least go to Lulu.com and read the first couple of chapters of Learn Me Good and talk it up to their friends!3) That Duke will make the Final Four, seeing as how I just procured tickets to San Antonio this year.4) That all of my kids will pull their heads out and pass the TAKS!5) That ABC will decide to prolong the television season so Lost can show their full 8 episodes for this season.In the meantime, I heard some very interesting things last week related to birthdays and aging. On Friday, my kids were asking me how old I was going to be this week. When I told them I was going to turn 35 on Thursday, I heard three things almost simultaneously.One of my kids said, "My mom is 23."Another of my kids said, "My mom is 24."And a third of my kids s...
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Any Lost fans out there?
2008-02-20 02:21:00
During one of the recent episodes of Lost (like my favorite show in the history of ever), they flashed a promo up for going online and posting a video with your theory of what the heck is going on in the show. So of course I jumped at that, posted my video on Sunday, and it finally showed up online today.It's called The True Oceanic 6 (I know, meaningless if you don't watch Lost), and it's a bit tongue-in-cheek, a bit legit. Check it out and see what you think! Even if you don't watch Lost, you can always boost my numbers of viewers. ;) Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
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Why won't my seeds sprout??
2008-02-20 00:38:00
This week's topic of the Mr. Teacher column over on education.com is related to one of our early science projects that we do every year. In studying plants and seeds, we try to observe how seeds sprout. Notice I say "try" because my seeds never seem to sprout as they're supposed to. Please take a trip over to education.com and check out the full article here! Read all about Jack Woodson and his first year as a teacher in Learn Me Good, available at Amazon.com! Start with a preview here.
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Stupid test
2008-02-19 03:22:00
Good evening everyone, as you might gather from the title of this post, I am not too enamored with a test I took today after school. Actually, I am currently exhibiting extreme self-control not to express exactly how ticked off I am at this test.Here in Texas, we call it the TELPAS. Don't ask me what it stands for -- I'm sure the T is for Texas, and the rest is a bunch of crap. It's a test that teachers have to take in order to be able to rate writing samples from kids of Limited English Proficiency (LEP). Teachers go online and view collections of four or five writing samples, and they have to rate them -- beginning, intermediate, advanced, or advanced high. The ratings are EXTREMELY subjective, and this is what upsets me so much.I spent nearly 2 hours online today after school looking at example passages and then taking this stupid test. There were 15 collections to analyze. In order to pass the test, I had to rate 10 of them correctly. So of course, you can probably gu...
More About: Stupid , Test

Troubled children
2008-02-17 23:02:00
Last week, there were some very interesting developments with some of my most difficult students. First, one of the boys who has gotten under my skin since day one, I'll just call him A, withdrew on Friday, so he will not be back next week. I know this is extremely unprofessional and callous of me to say, but -- WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!! YIPPPEEEEEEEEE!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! OK, moving on... One of my other little boys who has been a behavior problem all year long in addition to doing just about nothing in class has made a little bit of progress. There have been several times this year when I have gotten on his case about not putting any effort forth whatsoever, and he has responded with a sad sack story about how he's not smart like everyone else, and his mom has told him he's not like the other kids. In other words, he's used his academic troubles in the past as a crutch in the present. I won't stand for that kind of thing, and without using profanity, I've told him how tha...
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Happy Valentine's Day
2008-02-15 07:30:00
A few observations from the Valentine's Day party at school today:A couple of kids who did not bring ANYTHING for anybody else sat at their desks and shouted, "I didn't get one of those yet!" at the kids who DID bring things for everybody.A couple of kids brought a box of Valentines that had no names on them, despite me handing out a list of class names on Tuesday. They then expected to be able to fill out the information on each card within 10 minutes.My visually impaired student kept coming up to me and asking, "Mister Teacher, who is this one for? Who is THIS one for?" because he couldn't read the names his mom had printed on the cards.A couple of kids brought ginormous bags of Hot Cheetos, and shared them by dumping a handful on each desk.The little girl with pink eye was handing out cupcakes and frosted cookies. And I do mean HANDING them out. (My class tomorrow might look like a bad Kodak photograph.)I now have enough candy to last until Halloween.Sleep now. Read all ...
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