Learn Me Good

RSS Feed Homepage

Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

The Best of Blogs, Take 2!
2007-04-02 03:16:00
I wandered over to The Best of Blog s page again today, and I see that the voting is now live. I'm still not sure exactly why the blog that I nominated, Education in Texas, is not listed among the finalists, but it should be.But I am very honored to have been nominated myself, so if you like this blog, Learn Me Good, please feel free to head on over to the voting page and cast your ballot for me! Just don't forget to completely punch out your chad...
More About: Take , Best of

Worst Assembly Ever!
2007-04-02 02:59:00
We ended last week with a flurry of assemblies, at least that's the way it seemed. We had the "Cheese" assembly on Thursday, which actually went very well, thanks in large part to the third-grade teacher who presented. She kept the kids' attention, and I think she really got the point across.On Friday, we had ANOTHER assembly, this time for a PTA fundraiser. And the difference between the two assemblies was like night and day. How to run an assembly and how NOT to run an assembly.This lady on Friday actually started off her presentation by telling the kids how unprepared she was."I didn't know there would be so many people here, so I didn't bring a microphone."Yeah, next you'll be telling us how you were out of deodorant and didn't have the time to go to the local Walgreens.Then she attempted to make some joke, at least I assume she thought it was a joke because right afterwards, she followed it with, "I'm dying up here." We're not even a minute into her presentation, f...
More About: Assembly , Ever

Behold the power of cheese
2007-03-29 03:23:00
Monday afternoon at our staff meeting (now weekly, for our pleasure!), a spokesperson for DISD came and talked to us about cheese.I'm not talking about your typical individually-wrapped slices of processed Velveeta. This is "cheese," the new designer drug that is sweeping the halls of Dallas-area schools.Cheese is a combination of black tar heroin and crushed Tylenol PM. Two great tastes that taste great together, right? I can practically see the Colombian drug lords sitting around their compounds, going about their business, when suddenly -- "Hey! You got your Tylenol PM in my black tar heroin!" "Hey! You got your black tar heroin in my Tylenol PM!"Cheese follows in the footsteps of last year's scare -- Pepto Bismol and liquid ecstasy (codename: Pickles). Rumor has it that a new threat is on the horizon -- a hybrid mixture of flour, methamphetamines, and oatmeal termed "Sesame Seed Bun."I can't for the life of me imagine why an...
More About: Power , Behold , Hold

Weed Whackers Anonymous
2007-03-28 00:42:00
For the past couple of weeks, my lawn has looked like the background scenery in the movie Predator. Small animals were getting lost in the dense vegetation, and several of the weeds were taller than my third-grade students.So on Saturday I was finally able to do something about it. I may not be able to convince some of my kids that subtracting makes your answer go down, but by golly, I proved that mowing will make weeds go down.I set my lawnmower to the lowest possible setting and I scalped the crap out of that bad boy. I'd say the results speak for themselves.Here is what my backyard looked like BEFORE Operation: Lawn Gnome...If you look very closely at the following picture, you can actually see a troop of jungle-equipped Ewoks...And now, the final results...Tonight, I'll go out and fertilize it back to the Stone Age!
More About: Hack , Hacker , Hackers , Weed , Anonymous

FINALLY!!!
2007-03-28 00:38:00
Wow, what a relief to be back online!As some of you may have noticed, I have not been able to blog since last week. It is at this point that I must admit that I am still a member of the dial-up community, and therefore dependent on my household phone line to access the Internet. Therefore, when my phone line gets screwed up, I can no longer access the Internet.When I came home Friday evening, my phone line was still audible but it was filled with static. I WAS able to get online, but the speed was ridiculously slow. However, by Saturday, I had no Internet access, and picking up the telephone produced a sound like an angry beehive.So when I called the good folks at AT&T (early Saturday afternoon), they informed me that they would be able to send someone out on Tuesday, between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. What expeditious service!!!Apparently, the guy came out around noon today. So once again, I am able to blog.Priority 1 -- research DSL plans...
More About: Final , Finally , Fina , Ally

Krazy Straws
2007-03-23 03:31:00
Yesterday, one of the little girls in my class was tardy again. She is a very sweet, intelligent little girl, but she is chronically tardy. Often, when she is late, her older sister comes by my room to deliver the tardy slip from the office. Yesterday, the sister told me that they were late because their car had broken down.So I asked my student if her mom had car problems in the morning a lot, since she is tardy so frequently. She replied, "The car wasn't broken, it's cuz my grandpa is really slow.”She then added, "Also, it takes him a little while to start the car, because he has to blow into a straw before it will start.”I have to admit that at this point, I was fighting to suppress a bout of the giggles. I knew exactly what she was talking about with the "straw." But apparently, so did she.She continued, "It's to make sure that he isn't drinking?”It's sad, I know I shouldn't be laughing internally. But it's just so unusual to hear thoughts and phrases like th...
More About: Stra

Use the Quarts, Luke
2007-03-21 01:30:00
Over Spring Break, I finished a library book called Prisoner of Trebekistan. It was a pretty enjoyable read, maybe more so because I am a huge Jeopardy fan. But in it, the author, Bob Harris, talks a lot about memory devices that he used while studying for the game show. His studying led him to the conclusion that things and events that make an outrageous or hilarious impression last the longest in memory. And it seems to have worked well for him.So it really got me to thinking what sorts of humorous things I could do to try to leave a lasting mark in my students’ memories. In other words, how many times can I make a complete fool of myself in the name of mathematic academics?Let's start the ticker today at one.In the interest of learning more about liquid capacity, we have been doing a brief exercise every day where we add 1 cup of water to our steadily growing supply. After four days, we have 1 quart, and then we dump that quart into our gallon jar and start filling the q...
More About: Luke

Baby, baby
2007-03-17 18:18:00
Break out the cee-gars, ladies and gents! As of last Tuesday, March 13, I have a brand new nephew, Joshua!Joshua, blogging world.Blogging world, Joshua.Mother Buffy and Father Phin are doing fine as well. I expect Josh to be doing guest posts here on Learn Me Good within the year. He has really long fingers, so he will most likely be an excellent typist. And he'll also be able to grab the last pickle in the jar without fail.
More About: Baby

Carnivals, brackets, and breaks, oh my!
2007-03-14 18:33:00
Hey everyone, the 100th Carnival of Education is up and running over at The Education Wonks. Check it out, and do your part to stimulate the economy.Also, today is the last day to get your March Mathness picks in before the tournament starts tomorrow. I just made my picks, and I am downright ashamed of whom I have picked to go all the way. But IMC Guy would be very happy. Actually, right now my biggest hope is that Duke doesn't lose in the first round to VCU.And since I'm on Spring Break and basketball starts tomorrow, there will most likely be no more posts until next week. Enjoy the break!!
More About: Carnivals , Vals , Rack

Oops! My bad!
2007-03-14 04:14:00
A story in the paper the other day reported that almost 100 teachers in the Houston ISD were mistakenly paid bonuses which amounted in values ranging from $62.50 to $2,790.The only thing I’ve ever been mistakenly given was the finger, but then maybe I should go to work in Houston. But these Houston teachers have now been given a very valuable experience. They’ve been given a bonus that they haven’t earned. So now they know what it feels like to be a US Congressman or a professional athlete!The district is already demanding the money back from the affected teachers, telling them that they can have their amount deducted from one paycheck or spread out over 10. It makes me wonder just how quickly someone like Enron’s ex-president or Tyco’s ex-chairman would have been expected to pay it back…

Please help!
2007-03-14 04:09:00
In just a few weeks, Borders Bookstores will be having their annual Educators Appreciation Week. This is a time when teachers, aides, faculty, etc get an automatic discount off of anything they buy. This is also a great time for them to showcase new and existing books with an educational bent. You would be doing me a HUGE favor if you would call your local Borders (s) and ask them to stock and display Learn Me Good (Borders ID: 8560467). I have been using my Spring Break to call as many as I can, but I am just one person after all (even if I DO have the strength of ten men).Thank you in advance for anyone who chooses to help!
More About: Please , Lease , Ease

Books, books, and more books
2007-03-11 21:41:00
I believe this meme was started over at HuffEnglish, but I pulled it off of Lady Strathconn's site yesterday. The comments on some books were made by me, and I did add a book or two at the end. But feel free to use it yourself...*Look at the list of books below.*Bold the ones you’ve read.*Italicize the ones you want to read.*Leave blank the ones that you aren’t interested in.*If you are reading this, tag you’re it.1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) -- read it, but I'm one of the few people I know who didn't like it.2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)13. Harry...
More About: Books , Book , More , E Book

No Dentist Left Behind
2007-03-11 06:16:00
I saw a really good "analogy" of NCLB over at Are We Doing Anything Today called No Dentist Left Behind . It makes a nice point. Check it out:No Dentist Left Behind My dentist is great! He sends me reminders so I don't forget checkups He uses the latest techniques based on research. He never hurts me, and I've got all my teeth. When I ran into him the other day, I was eager to see if he'd heard about the new state program. I knew he'd think it was great. "Did you hear about the new state program to measure effectiveness of dentists with their young patients?" I said. "No," he said. He didn't seem too thrilled. "How will they do that?" "It's quite simple," I said. "They will just count the number of cavities each patient has at age 10, 14, and 18 and average that to determine a dentist's rating. Dentists will be rated as excellent, good, average, below average, and unsatisfactory. That way parents will know which are the best dentists. The plan will also encourage the less ef...

Running without Scissors
2007-03-10 03:06:00
Today was Field Day for the third grade -- or as we like to call it, Field Hour and a Half. Overall, it went pretty well. I think that it helped not having two of our newest little terrors present. They were suspended on Tuesday for fighting and biting each other.All week long the kids have been asking me if I would race against them on Field Day. So I obliged today and made my yearly sprint. And I am proud to say that I'm still reigning champion. Of course, I learned my lessons from last year. Do NOT go in the Bouncy House before running a race. Do not give the kids a 20 foot head start. That might have worked when I was 32, but now that I'm 34, I need that edge. And most importantly, run ONE race. Last year, I ran several races and was dead tired by the end. So today, I waited till the very end and then said I would race against anyone from my two classes who so desired. I think I wound up running against about 25 kids.Mrs. Educator (who by the way, did NOT race aga...
More About: Running , With

Pudding on the hits
2007-03-09 04:38:00
I actually sat and ate lunch with my kids in the cafeteria today. Or rather, I WATCHED them eat, since I had plans to eat later. So when the kid across from me, A, said that he did not like chocolate pudding and offered me his, I graciously accepted. Which led to the person next to me giving me his pudding. And then the girl on my other side. And before I knew it, I had a pudding pyramid in front of me. By the time we left the cafeteria, I had a sack full of at least 15 pudding packs.So you're probably thinking -- man, I know what HE'LL be doing during spring break!!On Monday, I taught the boys how to play Knockout. This is a fast-moving game involving two basketballs and its fair share of coordination. I noticed that whenever someone would make a shot (or often, just when someone would TAKE a shot), several of the boys would shout, "SWAGGER!”Don't ask me why, I had certainly never heard this before. But it made me want to see if I could get them to start saying someth...
More About: Hits , Pudding

If teachers were like...airline pilots
2007-03-07 00:41:00
I realize this is kind of random, but for some reason I found myself thinking about airline pilots the other day. And thus was born a brand new What If –1) We would basically be stuck all day long in a big room with screaming children and rude adults (not so different) -- but we would have the luxury of closing a door between us and them.2) If we didn't like the way a parent conference was going, we could feel secure in knowing that parachutes were available to bail out at any time.3) We could deal with bad altitudes, rather than bad attitudes.4) We would pass out peanuts and work on an airplane, as opposed to taking away airplanes and working for peanuts. As always, further suggestions are welcome.
More About: Pilots , Cher , Teacher , Hers , Line

March Mathness
2007-03-05 05:08:00
Hello boys and girls! Today was the last day of the regular season for college basketball (as was unfortunately witnessed in the Duke-Carolina debacle), which means Marc h Madness is just around the corner!I have set up a group in ESPN's Men's Tournament Challenge called March Math ness. If you would like to join my group and pit your bracket picks against mine, just click the link and create an entry. You won't be able to actually make selections until March 11, but you can go ahead and join my group in the meantime.Hope to see you there! It's Awesome with a capital A, bay-bee!!
More About: Ness

Faster than a speeding 3rd grader
2007-03-04 06:38:00
Just in case anyone was wondering, yesterday for Dress As a Character from a Book Day(TM), I decided to forgo the lazy route of wearing a white T-shirt with the words "Sam-I-Am" scribbled on it. Instead, I decided on a character from a COMIC book.Can you guess who I am? And despite several comments from the kids of, "Why is Mister Teacher dressed up like a dork?" it should be easy to tell who i am...
More About: Speed , Speeding , Fast , Aster

I'm such a character
2007-03-02 04:39:00
Tomorrow is Dress As Your Favorite Char acter in a Book Day ™. I can't think of any stories that deal primarily with a major procrastinator, but that would have been ideal for me. Instead, I have been racking my brain all day long trying to think of something that would be easy and manageable, not to mention recognizable by the kids.That last little bit of course throws out all of the “adult” novels. Goodbye Tom Clancy. So long Charles Dickens. Nice to know ya, Victor Hugo. And saddest of all, no Stephen King. Here I thought I could come as Johnny Smith from the Dead Zone. I wouldn't have a very distinctive style of dress, but I COULD have fun going around shaking the kids’ hands and making eerie and creepy prophecies.“You are going to have a flat hamburger for lunch. You're going to get put in time out at 1:24. You're going to fidget.”Then I looked through my collection and found a wonderful book by a noted author, Patricia Polacco. I thought how fun it wo...
More About: Such , Hara

You're so money!
2007-03-02 04:38:00
Today after recess, one of my boys, A, held up a nickel and said, "I got one of these new nickels with the big head."So I asked him, "And do you know whose big head that is?"A replied, "Um, Abraham Lincoln?”I told him, "No, I'll give you a hint. He was our third president."A responded excitedly, "OH!! George Bush!”
More About: Money

The Carnival Purple
2007-03-01 01:45:00
It's Carnival time, folks! This week is the 108th edition, very graciously hosted by Dr. Homeslice. Just the name alone cracks me up. Head on over and check out the entries.On an unrelated note, I've seen a lot of colored brains floating around blogs that I frequent. So of course, I had to get my own colored brain. It sounds kind of odd to say that I have a purple brain -- actually, it sounds more than a little perverted. Which is probably why I would never say that out loud to someone that I hadn't known for at least five years.Your Brain is Purple Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense.Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries.You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.What Color Is Your Brain?
More About: The Car

He chose... Poorly.
2007-02-27 23:34:00
There was an article in the Dallas Morning News yesterday about several of the local school districts using an online test produced by Gallup Corp. to screen potential teaching applicants at their schools. Using what is called the TeacherInsight test, employers are turning away many candidates because of their scores.The article states:“Unlike state-required certification exams, TeacherInsight measures values and behavior -- not subject knowledge. Gallup says the questions gauge natural talent based on 30 years of researching top-performing teachers."According to Gallup officials, even though some of the questions might seem a bit subjective, top-quality teachers select the same answers, thus proving their worth.They didn't list any of the actual test questions in the article, but I think I can imagine what the questions might look like.#1 You have given an assessment. What do you do for your Talented and Gifted student, to ensure that he does not get bored when he is done?A...
More About: Hose , Poor

Just one more sign of the Apocalypse
2007-02-27 01:56:00
For the past couple of weeks, our science topic has been rocks. You know, igneous, sedimentary, metamorphic -- The Big Three. So since we began, the kids have inundated Mrs. Math and I with samples from the playground, their homes, random gravel quarries, etc. Flat rocks, fat rocks, colored rocks, shiny rocks, wood chips, shells, chunks of concrete, and then some.It's nice of the kids to share their samples with us. My back shelf will soon be full of rocks and rock-like items. Usually around the time we study leaves at the beginning of the year, my back shelf is filled with leaves. Funny how this phenomenon never happens when we study money...Along with our study of rocks, we have talked a bit about volcanoes. Magma and lava are, after all, liquid rock. So today, at around 8:05 (nearly 2 hours before we do science), one of my little girls, A, motioned me over and says, "I was just going to tell you…” (This is how she begins every statement) “My friend told me that when the wo...
More About: Just , Apocalypse , Sign , More , The A

Happy Flash Wednesday
2007-02-22 01:07:00
As many of you probably know, today is Ash Wednesday . What some of you might NOT know is that I have a special affinity for The Flash , and that was even my nickname for a little while (a little while which has yet to end). And since today is also my birthday, I worked a little linguistic magic and combined the two into Flash Wednesday.And look, everyone got me just what I wanted -- a witty rejoinder!! Go ahead, make my day!Also, the 107th Carnival of Education is up and running over at History Is Elementary. Be sure to put on your crash helmet and elbow pads before heading over, then charge right through that bad boy!
More About: Happy , Lash , Ash Wednesday

Can we pencil you in for a snack break?
2007-02-21 01:41:00
The Reading TAKS was today, and I think that we all learned a very valuable lesson. Never trust an engineer to make a schedule.I was tasked with the seemingly simple job as 3rd-grade chairperson to come up with a bathroom and snack schedule for the fourth and fifth grade teachers who would be monitoring the third graders during the test today. Here was my schedule: TAKS Test 8:00 – 3:00OK, it wasn't QUITE that vanilla, but it really wasn't very helpful either. I put the bathroom breaks on there, both morning and afternoon, but I forgot to put the snacks on there. And what time lunch was. And the second afternoon bathroom break. All in all, it was a pretty miserable excuse for a schedule.That was what I turned in yesterday. After seeing one of the other grade’s schedules, I realized how lame mine was, and so I went home and made up a new one last night. Of course, after realizing how lame mine was, our test coordinator also went...
More About: Break , Snack , Pencil , Brea