Cracked Ego Cracked Ego A place for me to put down some of my creative writings. I also use it as a posting source for illustraion friday, and other various art subjects. Articles
There's a Shocker
2007-08-24 03:31:00 If you've ever heard the phrase, "There's a Shocker", and wanted to know what one looked like; well, here's your chance.Stay clean, everyone. More About: Illustration
Shopping List of the Damned
2007-08-23 01:19:00 Crushed ice really does snap the party off whatever hook it happens to be on. More About: Shopping , List , Illustration , The D
Sketchy Beginnings
2007-08-22 05:27:00 The above is the early rumblings of a new illustration. I know it will involve music in some way, but that's about it.Hope everyone has been good.Oh, to all the bloggers that author the material I enjoy so much. I may not be commenting (although, that may change soon) but I am always keeping up to date on what is happening through blog feeds. Keep up the great work. More About: Illustration , Etch
New Piece, New Style
2007-08-15 04:54:00 I've decided to try and add another style to the catalog locked within. Here's the first of many experiments; "The Fountain of Tomorrow...Today."I had a lot of fun doing this and expect a lot more pieces in this line.Click on the image for a larger view.Stop by and tell me how you all have been.Have a good one. More About: Style , Illustration , Piece , New Style
Elder Childhood
2007-08-05 04:42:00 Here's something new. I was going on the word "Connect" for this Google contest at Threadless. So, I went the connect with your inner-child line. Hope you like it.Sorry, about not answering to the awards I've received, I've been swamped; which is a good thing. What I will do, is insist that you visit the blogs listed at the bottom of this page. I read through them regularly and they constantly bring inspiration.Have a good one. More About: Childhood
A New Project
2007-07-22 22:39:00 Thanks to everyone that voted for my Threadless design. Alas, it was dropped early. There's always next time.Anyway, here's something new I'm working on entitled, "No Small Feat":Click on the image for a closer look.Hope you all enjoy it. Have a good one. More About: Project , Illustration
Not Sure How
2007-07-21 02:12:00 I've never been good at whoring myself out, but sometimes you have to. So, here's my attempt at getting meaningless votes for my Threadless submission.Click the above image and you will be magically whisked away to the votin' page. I'm assuming you have to be a member, but won't you help me help me with my problems?Thanks in advance. More About: Sure
Staplers vs Paper No More
2007-07-20 04:37:00 I never thought it would have happened, but today the impossible became reality.My Swingline stapler has been a good friend to me over the years. It stuck with me through the recycled paper change over, and recently saved me from a pack of rabid geese. However, it has been acting erratic recently. Giving me crooked staples and even eating a block of Gouda. I couldn't put my finger on why exactly, possibly because Swingy, that's what I call it, has been known to nip the said finger, but it all became clear real quick. During the past few weeks staples and paper have been in peace talks and have finally come to their ultimate goal: an alliance.That's right, the two biggest enemies since the polar bear/penguin feud have finally come to terms. I know, I was flabbergasted too. How could these two sides make such a weighty decision seemingly overnight? More so, how will this effect us human folk?I'm not sure of the answer to either of those questions, although, I did provide a couple ... More About: Paper , Stapler
There Be Finished Gnomes Here
2007-07-18 05:49:00 The very recent comment from kim reminded me to put up the finished gnome illustration:Once again, click on the image for wonders beyond belief...or something close to that.I really wanted to push the shoe into the background and emphasize the gnomes. I think I did that while still showing the detail work.Anyway, I would have posted this in the last post but it slipped my mind. Enjoy. More About: Illustration , There , Gnome , Nomes , Finish
Hooligans and the People That Dislike Them
2007-07-18 03:12:00 I often find myself at the library, perusing the periodicals and such. It's quite therapeutic, I can just hang out for about an hour and enjoy a good book. However, ever since school let out, my experiences have been diminished to an unacceptable degree. I can only find one cause for this decline in enjoyment: library hooligans.Library hooligans are exactly what they sound like, vicious teens with an eye for disrupting the fun times libraries are known to provide. Well, I'm not taking their nonsense anymore. Starting from the end of this post, I shall begin fighting back the only way I know how.I will create a machine, for which I have no name, and somehow send it out and deal a sort of justice.Alright, so it isn't a solid plan, but it'll form more when I'm sitting in the corner next week and some bum is blurting, "that tennis match was quite the ripping good time, wasn't it mates?"That might not sound like much, but it really is awful.When did this blog turn into a place for... More About: People , The People , Like , Hooligans
The Shoe Gnomes
2007-07-17 02:28:00 Have you heard about shoe gnomes? They are gnomes of a cheerful sort, and they are usually quite talkative. Well, it just so happens that two have recently taken residence inside one of my old shoes.Here's a portrait, for which they posed quite well:(Detail awaits if you click the picture.)I've got it in critiques at Threadless, right now. I hate this particular portion of the proceedings, no one wants to comment and you can never make everyone happy. However, it is a nice way for me to step back and see how I like it.Here's something else I started a little while back. It's based off the Laura Veirs song Devil's Hootenanny, and the title is...Devil's Hootenanny (I've been tired lately, alright): I'll post updates on this and the shoe gnome project.I'm back now. You just have to give me a few posts to get back into the flow of things. Perhaps, I will eat some tasty watermelon and regain a bit of the conjecture and hearsay the readers of this small blog have come to expect.... More About: Illustration , Shoe , Gnome , Nomes
Death Hasn't Found Me Yet
2007-07-15 05:01:00 Sorry for not posting this week. I needed a break from the computer for a while, and then I started working on something. The beginnings of which can be seen here:When in it's finished there'll be little people hanging out all over the shoe. More to come.Anyway, just wanted to post an update. I will be responding to the comments left here and catching up on my blog reading.Stay loose, stay wild, keep the Turkish army at bay.That last line was meant for the woman that has no name. More About: Death , Illustration
The Close Parkers
2007-07-10 04:21:00 I was out on the town today, making the scene, and I caught a fancy for a cold beverage. Before to long, I was parked at the local mall and adventuring inside to get a tasty treat. However, when I emerged from the devourer of forests, I stumbled upon a phenomenon that has bugged me for years: the close parker.Close Parker [Clo-se Par-ker], noun1. One who places his/her mode of transportation obscenely near another mode of transportation, despite having plenty of room to do otherwise.2. see sheep3. see a-holeI have created a crude visual tool to further shed some light on this odd event:(legend: blue=me, red=close parker)Now, as you can clearly see, the red dot has no reason to place his/her sorry behind so close to the me. I am not close to the entrance, there are no shade providing trees around, oh, and there's about 20 other spaces available for this encroacher of metal. It just makes me want to buy a pair of white gloves and challenge the owner to a duel.Why do these people do i...
Adventures in Color: no. 5
2007-07-09 00:50:00 Well, another week and another color to ponder. This selection isn't all that random, however.The Wimbledon men's championship was held today, and boy was it great. I'm not the biggest of tennis fans, - I probably couldn't name most of the top 20 players - but this was one of those matches where that didn't matter. If you don't want to know who won, then I wouldn't click what you're reading now. It was great Sunday morning television(in the States anyway), and I hope to see a lot more matches between those two.Anyway, back to the color. Here's week 5's participant:It's about as close as I could come to the grass surfaces of the All England Club. However, I don't only think of tennis when I see this color.I will always appreciate trees, I wouldn't call myself a "hugger" of them, but you get the idea. Anyway, this makes me think of a tree that I used to sit under just about every day during the various Summers of my youth. It was an old tree, and it had the scars to show ... More About: Color , Adventures , Vent , Advent , Ventures
The Handshake
2007-07-07 04:31:00 There is a lady, located in my home state of Maryland, trying to abolish the handshake. You know why, don't you? I don't even have to type out why, do I? Well, I'll tell you anyway: germs.Oh, I'm sorry, that didn't really fit the evil inherent in the word:GERMS!!!!! Oh, dear God, shield the children!!!!*cough*That was better.This lady doesn't have a bubble boy/girl or some kind of foreign disease only contracted through the contact between two hands; hell, she doesn't even have a minor case of diarrhea. No, this is simply a crazy women perpetuating a disturbing fear of germs.I fear most animals, Wayne Brady, and being found with my underwear around my ankles while watching Murder She Wrote; however, I can honestly say I have never feared these microorganisms. It's not even on my radar, not that I have a radar machine, it's more like a napkin I've had since 1992.Anyway, the handshaking thing. I mean, are your friggin' kidding me? You're probably thinking, "It'll never ha...
Let's Get Reading. Rangers
2007-07-05 22:12:00 I wrote last week about reading the novel Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs.Well, it's not a novel exactly, instead it's a collection of true stories that are purely Burroughsesque.My favorite of the bunch would have to be the story regarding his cleaning lady. It revolves around an angry little woman that pushes our protagonist (of sorts) a bit too far. The chunk of the story deals with overcharging, half-cleaned windows, and a sack of pennies. It's funny subject matter, that's given an extra push with the wit found in Burroughs' other works.There are of course some duds to be found, if for no other reason than you may feel uncomfortable while reading the particular yarns. However, this is the guy that wrote Running with Scissors and Dry; so, you've got to expect something odd, right? Well, you certainly get that here.I recommend this, maybe not as much as his other works, but still very highly. This is a first in regards to book structure for Burroughs, however, and the... More About: Reading , Rangers , Range , Ranger
Words, Meet Picture
2007-07-05 04:18:00 My post on Monday centered around the life of Tim Dongnot.Well, here's the pre-Dong Ranger Tim Dongnot (remember, he's a cokehead):Expect the Dong Ranger eventually. Although, I may be doing Wendell Grout first.*********************************** *************************************I got a tasty award today from the incredibly generous lisa q at Living "The Secret". Check it out, it's a very funny blog, with some good advice for singles.Here's what she laid down for here readers:Besides being a very talented artist and writer, Morriconei is a master schmoozer who is always sure to respond to comments left on his blog. Be sure to check out Cracked Ego.Thank you, lisa, for the kind words.The thing is, you all leave such good comments; so, that makes responding so much easier.Now, for the next 5 recipients:kim - She's the bee's knees, there's just no other way to put it. Amazing painter with a knack for making herself seem very accessible. Go to laketrees for some great art and ... More About: Picture , Words , Meet
The Ears, They Are Happy
2007-07-04 03:40:00 I've been working hard on some drawings, lately. So, I just wanted to put down a laid back post. With that in mind, here's my top 10 favorite albums. In no particular order:Funeral - The Arcade Fire (2004)Why? - Love and its' power are in full display. Beautiful stuff.Favorite tracks: Crown of Love, Neighborhood #3(Power Out)Seven Swans - Sufjan Stevens (2004)Why? - Short but sweet introspection. Many prefer Greetings From Michigan, but this will always be my favorite Sufjan.Favorite Tracks: The Transfiguration, Abraham#1 Record - Big Star (1972) Why? - Catchy and simple tunes, but that's just the first layer.Favorite Tracks: Thirteen, In the Street, FeelKid A - Radiohead (2000) Why? - Nothing should be over-analyzed. Once you realize that, this record is incredible.Favorite Tracks: The National Anthem, Optimistic, Everything in Its Right PlaceAbbey Road - The Beatles (1969)Why? - The last recorded album was quite possibly the best work they ever did.Favorite Tracks: Maxwell's ... More About: Happy , Ears
Creepy Sketching
2007-07-03 04:44:00 I was looking through a few of my old sketchbooks today, and I came across this page:This is by far the creepiest page in any of my books. Want to know why? It's not the eyes, the badly shaded lips, or the hand with the hole in it; no, it's the presence of what appears to be a porn star. Not just any one either, a 1970's porn star. Observe:Of course, being the sick individual that I am, a backstory must be created, albeit a short one.I'm sorry in advance.The year was 1971,Tim Dongnot was then living in a small apartment in Berkley. He had recently been laid off from There's a Book in My Hands!, a small bookstore located in Richmond, after he was found snorting cocaine out of Nancy Drew novels. So, Tim was now going through numerous jobs, in an attempt to find a steady flow of income.One day, while on a pizza delivery call, Tim had sexual relations with a 56-year old heroin addict named Gertrude Yontel. Shortly after this event, Dongnot quit his pizza gig and set out to becom... More About: Sketch , Creepy , Sketching , Cree , Etch
Adventures in Color: no. 4
2007-07-01 22:58:00 Here is a link to the first posting.The color for this week is:I think of Dustin Hoffman's tie from the movie Stranger Than Fiction. It makes me think of babies; although, maybe a baby with a bit of a dark side. I am reminded of little league baseball more than anything, however. This was close to the color uniforms we had.Alright, step up and put me in the know. What does this color conjure up? More About: Color , Adventures , Vent , Advent , Ventures
Perfection Lost
2007-06-30 02:51:00 Just over the hill and on the cusp of reality, lies a town shrouded in mystery. It's a place full of equal parts hope and despair. Leaving its' borders is a dream for all that inhabit it; however, few ever do. This place of the fallen is known by a simple name: E-mailville.The town wasn't always in such discourse, in fact, it was once thought the Mecca of Cyberland. E-mailville was founded by Frothmore Von Viddlestein, the 1,254th piece of discarded cybermail. He entered the trash bin like every other e-mail before him, but something went wrong -or right, depending how you look at it- and that one event would change everything."I was just a lousy piece of spam mail," Viddlestein recounted during a 2006 Vanity Fair interview, "meant for little more than spreading the word about a Holland born sexual apparatus. However, that day, 7 years ago, changed everything."Prior to the interview, it was believed that Frothmore had simply stumbled upon the now infamous spot. However, he quickl... More About: Lost , Perfection
Jesus Returns, Buys iPhone
2007-06-29 01:49:00 Our Lord and iSaviorby Bor Neerg - June 28th, 2007 - New York, New YorkAfter thousands of years, Jesu s Christ has finally returned to Earth - New York city to be more specific-, and all it took was an overpriced phone.Christ, 2007, held a small news conference outside the Apple Store where he bought the inaugural product. He was clearly eager to get back to his home in Queens, but he was willing to "hang around" -his words not mine- and answer a few questions.When asked why he decided to return now, he replied, "I saw this device coming back in my late 40's, I knew it was going to be something special." He then rose the iPhone up into the air and proclaimed, "This truly is, the king among phones."Strangely absent from the proceedings was Apple CEO Steve Jobs. However, a spokesperson was present, and she read a prepared statement:I was very ipleased to hear that Christ is such a big fan of the iPhone. I would have iloved to thank him in iperson, but I unfortunately have more pressin... More About: Iphone , Turn
The Place to Be
2007-06-28 04:16:00 It was hot and humid today; no, that's not a good description at all. It was an underwear bunching day, that's better. Anyway, in the past I used to just sweat days like these out, often finding lying completely still the best remedy. Well, not anymore, I am proud to announce the best place to hang out on those bunchiest of days: the morgue.During my monthly walk through the hallways of the local hospital, I began to work up quite the sweat. I didn't really know why, the air conditioning seemed to be going full blast; however, it couldn't seem to penetrate the wool sweater I had on. My head began to spin and I soon believed I would fall dead in a linoleum coffin. Just when I thought it was all over, it happened. A message from the chilled Gods sitting atop Mt. Coldopolis was shown to me in the form of a placard:Dr. Tim Johnson - DermatologistNo, not that one, the one to the right....Morgue The door said private, but this was a life and death situation. So, I used my ninja skills... More About: Place , Lace
My Past Life
2007-06-27 03:22:00 A mind reader told me what I was in a past life today, and I must say, I am in a state of shock.Bear ProctologistYou didn't misread. I was a Bear....Proctologist....How I became one is the real conundrum. Did a bear save my life, and I felt like I just had to give back? Why not become a veterinarian? What made me specify bear colons as my field of expertise? Why would I want myself within smelling distance of a hairy colon, or any colon for that matter? It's mind-boggling.Then, I get to thinking about the little things. I doubt the bears set appointments. So, that would mean they either showed up at my door, or I made den-calls. Did they pay me in honey? Of course not, bears love honey; they probably paid in blackberries. I'm not a big fan of blackberries, and I would think that sticks with you no matter what life your in. So, I was doing this work basically for free. Outrageous.Was I married? Who would be married to a BP? Unless I was married to a bear, but that's crazy, I wasn... More About: Life , Past
Review and Preview
2007-06-26 02:48:00 Now You See It...:Stories from Cokesville, PA by Bathsheba Monk************************************* ************************Here's a link to my post mentioning the novel. Annie Kusiak and Theresa Gojuk, two young girls living in the coal and steel town of Cokesville, decide that they won't let their small town become their prison. So, they make a pact to leave the shackles of their ancestors behind and make a name for themselves. The path they take to reach their goal is very different, however. By the end, we are treated to a conclusion that only seems expected after reading it.With Now You See It..., subtlety is the keyword. The collection of stories are crafted in such a way, that they are separate and yet one. Nothing is forced, the characters seem real, and the situations they face are like those we all have encountered; well, for the most part. I guarantee you'll relate to at least one character, whether you want to or not. This collection has the aura of a small town and t... More About: Preview , Review
Adventures in Color 3
2007-06-25 01:36:00 Here's a link to the first post for any newcomers. Now for this week's color:I think of new life when I look at this, only muted. Rather than the robust greens sometimes attributed with new beginnings, this is more subtle, but holds the same punch.Alright, let's hear it, how does this color make you feel? What does it make you think of? Any comments will be very much appreciated. More About: Color , Adventures , Vent , Advent , Ventures
Illustration Friday - Camouflage (The Cloud Blimp)
2007-06-24 04:22:00 The FBI has just unveiled - and soon to decommission - a new tool in the fight for homeland security. "The Cloud Blimp" was made to allow for stealth surveillance of the American people, by posing as a harmless cloud. Unfortunately, due to budget cuts, resulting from President Bush buying large numbers of sock puppets, the engineering team didn't quite do the project justice.Please continue raking. I am but a harmless cloud. More About: Friday , Illustration , Frida , Camouflage
The Post is My Blog
2007-06-23 05:51:00 As you may have noticed, there's been a change to the look of the ol' blog. It's all thanks to this awesome site. You get a fairly complete profile design, which you can change in any way, and all he asks is that you keep the identifying header in the HTML. That's pretty cool in my book.I will be changing some things, however; color; alignment; etc., but I really like the bottom of the page. You can put everything in a neat little package, so that you get pure content up top.Anyway, that's about it for today. There will be a double post of sorts tomorrow; a movie review and my Illustration Friday entry. Oh, and I'll catch up on blog rounds tomorrow, too.Tell me what you think of the new look. More About: Post , Blog
How To Become An A-Hole with Tim Birdman
2007-06-22 03:41:00 About a year ago I was walking down the street and it hit me, I wasn't a big enough a-hole. However, where could one go to fix this problem? Well, while looking through the paper, about a month later, I came upon an interesting ad:Constantly helping others?Not giving your wrong opinions to everyone?Not kicking puppies?If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, than your not a big enough a-hole.Call: TIM BIRDMAN!!!This was a sign from the a-hole gods. I called the number (not shown for obvious reasons) and reserved a seat for the next seminar. Sadly, the steps needed to be taken were too much for me, and I was left less of an a-hole than ever.Earlier this week I got a call from Tim Birdman himself. He told me that he would be coming onto this blog and would spread the message normally only available at his seminars. Even though I was left a fragile and broken being after going through his steps, I felt my loyal readers deserved the chance to become the a-holes they were meant ... More About: Hole
Time Slips Away
More articles from this author:2007-06-21 05:13:00 I had a full day today. I was working on promoting this blog (I resisted as much as possible), working on a personal project, and trying to get a steady paying job. So, posting got pushed to the back burner, which interferes with my first task, I guess.The personal project I mentioned involves a cartoon; however, I can't think of a way to end it. So, I just worked on a character sketch. I should have the finished product tomorrow or Friday.As you may have noticed, I'm changing my style a bit. Actually, quite drastically really. I liked the previous style I was working with, I just felt it was rather limiting. I'm taking inspiration from two of my favorite artists: Jack Davis and Bill Elder, two great MAD magazine contributors.We interrupt this post for a sports updateAlright, the Yankees are down 6-1 to the Rockies in the 8th. They get all the way to .500, even a few games over, inching ever closer to Boston, and they just throw it all away. That just really yanks my goat.We now... More About: Time , Away , Slip 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 |
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