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Belinda Subraman: Mind and experience

Belinda Subraman: Mind and experience
Poet/writer, podcaster, artist,editor, RN. Website: FREE WEEKLY ARTS SHOW: Edits:
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2008-06-07 22:01:00
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The Gift of Sylvia
2008-03-24 18:54:00
Coincidentally I met Sylvia the day I quit hospice. She was referred to me by a poet living in England, named Gerald England. She emailed me that she was a poet, happened to be living in my town and had stage IV liver cancer. We quickly arranged a meeting. We met at her favorite hang out, the Starbucks about one fourth mile from her house. She looked more healthy than most and was a vivacious German beauty. She was into metaphysics and denial as long as possible.Sylvia quickly introduced me into new age therapies such as Reiki and ancient wisdom written by long hard to pronounce names. Soon after meeting we recorded our poetry together, did podcasts about poetry and life. She published a book, In The Garden of Illness, did a book signing at Barnes and Nobles. I enlisted an artist friend to write a book review which appeared in the El Paso Times. She taught a writing workshop for Tumblewords. I made a web site for her. Ironically, she said she had to be dying to feel this a...
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E. Etherlbert Miller: Poet, Editor, Activist, Educator
2008-03-22 21:29:00
You may listen to this interview from the Player on my page or download free from itunes under the name BELINDA SUBRAMAN PRESENTS or go to my podcast home page .E. Ethelbert Miller is a literary activist. He is a board member of The Writer?s Center and editor of its Poet Lore magazine. The author of several collections of poems, his last book How We Sleep On The Nights We Don?t Make Love (Curbstone Press, 2004) was an Independent Publisher Award Finalist (and number one on our 2004 list of Books to begin your Poeducation now). Mr. Miller received the 1995 O.B. Hardison Jr. Poetry Prize, given by the Folger Shakespeare Library for both teaching and writing excellence. In 1996 he was awarded an honorary doctorate of literature from Emory & Henry College. In 2003 his memoir Fathering Words: The Making of An African American Writer (St. Martin?s Press, 2000), was selected by DC WE READ for its one book, one city program sponsored by the D.C. Public ...
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Oh here's the RSS feed code for my shows
2008-01-08 21:01:00 2.xml
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Probably the Truth (Probably a Poem)
2008-01-07 23:35:00
Probably the Truth All my lifemy being has beenintense drama in my preceptors:ultra passions withmulti-layered meaningand sensations.All the awesome beauty I've endured,laughed and criedthrough the stratosphere...I believed it was sharedand understood. People reacted tomy warmth and lovebut they were not therewith mebut trapped in their own meaningsand needs.Neither was I there for thembut trapped in my wild pleasuresand weighted misplacements. It is the illusions we sharenot the actual path.The most fantastic journeyeach must take alone. -- http://BelindaSubraman.comWritten and spoken word by Belinda and friends, news, blog and links to great sites Click to hear show and view show descriptions and photos. networking site full of fun
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Billy Joe Royal and me
2007-10-06 16:19:00
You can hear my interview with Billy Joe Royal and a few of his new songs at Raised in Marietta, Georgia, Royal became a local singing sensation at Savannah, Georgia's Bamboo Ranch in the 1950s and 1960s. He is best known for the 1965 Top Ten pop hit "Down in the Boondocks," which, along with the singles "I Knew You When" (Top 20, 1965) and "Hush" (1967), were written and produced by Joe South. His 1969 single, "Cherry Hill Park," peaked at number 15 on the Billboard Hot 100.During the 1980s, Royal scored a comeback with several Top 10 country hits, including "Tell It Like It Is," "Burned Like a Rocket," and "I'll Pin a Note on Your Pillow."When his rejuvenated career as a country music hitmaker quieted down, he followed up with bookings throughout the 1990s in large country music bars and became a successful act on that circuit. And, he is still making music. His latest release is ?Going By Daydreams.? Check for mo...
Contrasts and Similarities of Life and Death
2007-09-24 00:03:00
Once again it has been a long time. I know there are a few loved ones who check here for news. The thing is I work more than full time and in addition I?m on call 50 percent of every second in my life. It is too much. When I get home I crash but remember 50 percent of that time I?m subject to go out anywhere in the county at any hour and I do. There is no sum of money to equal the sacrifice.I continue with health problems and I?m certainly another victim of our evil, money grubbing health care (lack of) system. However, I will pay the full amount for a re-pap to rule out cancer as suggested by my doctor, especially since I have all the signs and symptoms of endometrial cancer. Hopefully I?ll come out okay but if not I?ll do whatever is necessary. Every day is different with Grave?s disease and maybe some of those signs and symptoms are related. Maybe because I work with dying people and pronounce death and I have friends who are dying, I have a feeling of impending doom. It is...
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Sorrow Rising into Joy
2007-08-21 08:26:00
Okay, it has been awhile. There have been many things that, obviously, I wasn?t ready to talk about. I like to go into hiding when things aren?t going my way. Now things are looking a little differently.First, I?d like to mention an incredible hospice experience. I don?t think I can adequately convey how instantly bonded with a beautiful loving energy I shared with the people in this brief, less than 24 hour experience. Suffice it to say, this is what keeps me in hospice despite often impossible and/or troubling family situations. Oh, I met a very interesting, artistic, intelligent, sensitive man. We talk every night. We spent Sunday afternoon together and we?re planning on getting together during the week. He works out of town, in Ruidoso, NM as a production manager at the Spencer theatre. He traveled 5 years with Alice Cooper, toured with Billy Joel, Phil Collins and many other interesting folks. Our work schedules make it extremely difficult to visit each other but we?ll ...
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Author and Grief Specialist, Sam Oliver (free podcast)
2007-07-29 17:02:00
You can click on the show in the player a few entries below this one.ABOUT THE AUTHOR SAM OLIVERSam has cared for the needs of the dying in palliative care for over 16 years. During that time, Sam has served as the Chair, and now, Co-Chair of the Hospice Ethics Committee at the Hospice Care Center of VNS in Akron, Ohio. He has served several years as a State Continuing Education Chairperson for the Association of Professional Chaplains. For well over a decade, Sam has been an active editorial review board member and contributing writer for Healing Ministry Journal, The Journal of Terminal Oncology, and The American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care. Sam began his speaking about spiritual care over 15 years ago and continues to speak at public engagements on the local, national, and international levels. He has spoke at several college campuses and keynoted at several Hospice Conferences. His first book of four "What the Dying Teach Us: Lessons on Living" is a National Hospice ...
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QUEEN OF MYSELF with Donna Henes
2007-07-21 16:55:00
Double click on the show in my player or download free from iTunes under the name Belinda Subraman Presents in the podcast catagory. You may also download it free from Please forward message to your friends. Donna Henes, the award-winning author of THE QUEEN OF MY SELF: STEPPING INTO SOVEREIGNTY IN MIDLIFE.Donna Henes has become known as the "Midlife Midwife" helping women transition into their mature power and fulfill their best potential at this stage of their lives. As the influential "60s generation" reaches their 60s, we are poised to welcome a new era of freedom, profound thought, innovation, and bravery which will have far-reaching effects in the world.Personal, anecdotal, funny, and wise, THE QUEEN OF MY SELF has received praise from Dr. Christiane Northrup, Olympia Dukakis, Jennifer Louden, and Susun Weed, among others. And the response from women across the country has been overwhelming.Donna writes a weekly column for UPI Religion &...
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Anyone experiencing problems with our health care system?
2007-07-19 02:41:00
Special Note: ANYONE EXPERIENCING TROUBLE WITH OUR HEALTH CARE SYSTEM, ESPECIALLY BEING DENIED COVERAGE FOR CRITICAL PROCEDURES PLEASE CALL 206-333-1928 and leave your story on my voice mail. If you prefer you may send your story via email to
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After a Long Day of Death
2007-07-18 04:18:00
After a Long Day of Death Nothing makes sense.The evening "news" says nothing of Iraq.Then I go surfing to avoid sitcoms.I land on the home and garden channeland watch the subtleties of decorating,manipulations of minor energiesto prevent expressing pure chaos in the soul.The theory seems to bethat peace comes from withoutand one must not bewithout peace.
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2007-07-15 04:18:00
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Near Death by Brussel Sprouts and Michael Moore
2007-07-15 01:20:00
I am lying on the couch typing on an old laptop connected by Lynx to my other computers because I think I am too tired to sit up right. It?s very hot on my lap though and I?m always hot?and tired. Excessive bleeding, joint and abdominal pain, frequent shortness of breath, elevated blood pressure and pulse, trouble sleeping, frequent bowel spasms and activity and nausea at any time for no apparent reason are no fun either. I could put up with all this but the 3 nearly fatal choking incidences this week due to my triple sized thyroid has convinced me that it has too be shrunk before I die stupidly before my time. I now see the wisdom of the damned radioactive iodine. The freaking PTU does little for my symptoms and nothing toward shrinking. It?s that or surgery. Surgery is too drastic at this point unless they know its cancer. There have been several bossy people trying to tell me what to do or implying I?m not really sick. I wonder why they feel the need to do that? Everyone?s...
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Between a Rock and a Hard Place
2007-06-21 05:26:00
Well, I?m diagnosed with Graves disease. The doctor says there?s no cure but to control it we basically have to kill the thyroid and put me on synthetic thyroid hormone. He?s been pushing for the radioactive iodine treatment. When I told him today that I was rather attached to my thyroid and don?t want to kill it, and uh, could we just hurt it a little, he said that the part that is spared will become effected eventually because that?s the way it goes. I asked him if we could try the anti thyroid medication first. He said since I didn?t seem so sure we could go ahead and then cautioned that I can only take it so long without liver damage and when I go off of it I will still have the disease. It was a pretty good sell on the radioactive treatment but for at least 3 weeks I?m taking the anti thyroid pill and hope I don?t have any side effects. I already have a disease that affects only about 1% of women. It would be just like me to be the one in a hundred that has side effects....
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Living, dying, Jordan and the Jitters
2007-06-14 02:53:00
Here is the published article , with photos, on my trip to Jordan : raman0607.shtml The best way to report is to start from now and go backwards: I?ve been having problems. What sent me to the Dr. was pitting edema x 4 and heavy irregular bleeding. Other symptoms include fast pulse, shortness of breath,trouble sleeping, abdominal pain for no known reason and some days feeling like I may not make it much longer. I often appear to be anxious but I am not having anxious thoughts. What we know now is I have an hyperactive thyroid and we need to stop the runaway train. It?s making me vitamin and mineral deficit and it?s eating away my muscle.The past few days I was feeling a little better and cancelled a radioactive iodine uptake test. I read that the situation sometimes rights itself and I wasn?t keen on swallowing radioactive material. But I got a call from the Dr.?s this a.m. They want me to come in and hear my latest blood test result. They?re no...
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Back to Life...and death
2007-05-28 02:42:00
The dust has settled from my trip. I?m trying to recover from some minor (I hope) health problems. For the past two weeks I?ve been working as Director of Nursing for one of the newer hospices in town. I?m happy to be back in hospice. It?s very satisfying to help people at this stage and to be a part of their comfort. Because of the hours and constant on-call my creative life is neglected but maybe I will find a way to include this aspect of my life, maybe somehow incorporated with my work. Just about anything is possible if I can imagine it first.
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Special Podcast: Interviews with Iraqi Refugees
2007-05-04 14:11:00
Click: In April, 2007, a small group of Texans, of which I was a part, spent time in Jordan interviewing Iraqi refugees, NGOs and the United Nations High Commision for Refugees to get the real story about the this crisis which is largely ignored by the media.
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Jordan trip, in order
2007-05-03 00:00:00
Thursday, April 19th, 200712:07 a.m. Arriving in Jordan I am writing to you from the library at America Center for Oriental Studies in Amman, Jordan where we are staying. It is almost 12 midnight here. We have just gotten in and had some leftovers in the kitchen. The manager was kind enough to loan us a t-shirts to sleep in, a new tooth brush and tooth paste and even a few other very personal items since our luggage did not arrive with us. It may be a few days before it arrives. A plane comes in from Chicago each evening so if it arrives late tomorrow they will probably not deliver our luggage until the following day...if it arrives at all! The thing is, we were stranded in the plane on the Chicago runway for about an hour because our steering went out and we were waiting to be towed. Instead, maintenance was able to fix it after about an hour and then we had to rush from the domestic airport to the international airport which involved a lot of walking, moving side walks and trains. ...
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Jordan, day 12
2007-04-29 18:26:00
This morning I sent emails to Senator Slyvester Reyes, the El Paso Times and several other people and publications with intentions of spreading the word of how things really are here. I am unable to access my default Roadrunner mail and there seems to be a delay with my Yahoo address which is the one I use most often. It's hard to say, at this point, if silence is indifference or mail trouble or perhaps both.Late in the afternoon Carla and I took Peggy and four new Iraqi friends to lunch. Iman is the school teacher who is reduced to maid work when she can get it. Carla is going to write a letter for her promising to employ her if she gets a visa. Zahra was one of our translaters and she is on her way to the States at the invitation of several NGOs. She brought her two teenage daughters. We went back to the "restored" fish place that was too busy to accept us last week. Several groups of men came in after us and were served first. After Zahra made some inquires and let them know...
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Jordan, day 10, and Syrian border "intrigue"
2007-04-27 19:28:00
(First a note on the last entry. I see there is a huge white space between the last entry and one before which makes one think there are no other entries unless you scroll through a couple of feet of white space. I don't know what caused it and I don't know how to get rid of it. This is just to let you know there are many entries below the last one).Kamese came at the appointed time. We made our way to Jaresh first. It is about 1.5 miles of ancient ruins with endless columns, amphitheater, a place for chariot races complete with stone horse stalls. Here's the beginning blub from a website and then the site address where you can learn more and see pictures. "Journey 40km north of Amman and you'll arrive at the ancient city of Jerash, a beautiful preserve of the Roman Empire. It is second only to Petra in tourist appeal and has a remarkable record of human settlement since Neolithic times. Few ancient towns are as well preserved and as complete as Jerash, a city complex that o...
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Jordan, day 9
2007-04-26 20:00:00
Our driver, Kamese, came early for us today. We had said 0900 and he was here at 0830 which is a good thing. We had many plans. Although Kamese spoke almost no English we seemed to commincate just well enough.Our first stop was Madaba, "city of mosaics." We visited a Byzantine Greek orthodox church from the 6th century. A large part of the original floor mosaic was intact. It was a mosaic map depicting the hills, valleys, villages and towns as far away as the Nile Delta. It's considered an ancient masterpiece and has two million pieces of colored stone. It is also still a working church. (When we first entered the church a local asked us where we were from and when we said "Texas" he said, "That's why I hang my hat in Tennessee."Next we visited Mt. Nebo, the place of Moses' death and burial. (Deuteronomy: 34). It was also a place of ancient ruins going back to paleolithic times. The view from Mt. Nebo was incredible. One is supposed to be able to see the rooftops of Jerusalem...
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Jordan, day 8
2007-04-25 19:54:00
We said good bye to Charlie this morning as he left for the long journey home. His experience and knowledge has made this trip very rewarding and comfortable. Peggy has lived in the Middle East and knows some Arabic. Carla and I are just two good hearted Texans on an adventure alone now. But we'll do all right.We spent all morning talking to Dr. Mansoor Moaddal who teaches Middle Eastern Sociology at Eastern Michigan University and has published several books on the subject. I did record some of the talk but failed to take written notes. Also, since I don't want to misquote him I'll just copy and paste something from a web site to give you an idea of where he's coming from. (I would not want to be unfair but he did mention talking to congress and other well placed politicians and the more he talked the more it seemed he was a Republican. In any case he has been a proud American for 30 years but he was born in Iran). Here's part a review of his book, "Values and Perceptions o...
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Jordan, day 7
2007-04-24 23:15:00
We went back to see Claudia Lefko at the children's art school and she let us pick a few pieces of art by Iraqi children to bring back to the States along with some literature about joint art projects with U.S. children. We, of course, have email and land addresses to share with those who may be interested.Next we met up with Zahra at her apartment where she had arranged for 4 refugees to come by and talk to us. Our first visitor used the name "Nada" (and I should make it clear that everyone we have interviewed picked a name to be known by and not necessarily their own names). Nada is a Sunni Muslim from Baghdad. She was a flute player in an orchestra. She also helped out with NGOs (non-govermental organizations). She began to have trouble with the military and all sectarian groups because they beleived her to be a spy. This is a "normal" suspicion of those working with NGOs. A large international corperation hired her orchestra to come over to Jordan to play and to show that "...
Jordan, day 6
2007-04-23 17:26:00
We visited NCCI today, an NGO helping coordinate activities with other NGOs trying to help Iraqi refugees. I will not give the name or hint of location because of the constant threats these people have against them. The policy both here and in Iraq is to lay very low because as soon as you are noticed you are targeted.Things were much better for Iraqis in Jordan a few years ago because there were not such overwhelming numbers. Iraqis were even permitted to work here at one time. Now there are about one million Iraqis in this small country and they are no longer permitted to work or to live here legally (or at least very few). The Jordan border shut down to refugees in 2005 when there were several exlosions in Amman set off by Iraqis. War was spilling over into Jordan and Iraqis became unwelcomed but somewhat tolerated guests.Due to the recent UN conference in Geneva on the refugee crisis refugees have been bombarded by the media. This back fired on the refugees and caused more ten...
Jordan, day 5
2007-04-22 20:16:00
We got a late start on interviews today so we could take care of a few errands. Among them were getting a cell phone for Peggy who will be stay another 5 weeks interviewing and photographing Iraqi refugees. We also bought some fruit, something we haven't had since we arrived. We passed a beautiful scarf store and bought a few to use and to give as gifts. We then had lunch at ACOR with other English speaking foreigners of noble intent.At 3:00 p.m. we met with Safad at a mall food court. Charlie has known Safad and his family since December 2002. Safad's wife, Amal, and their children used to live with him in Jordan but she was made to go back to Bagdad to have her visa renewed but the Jordan embassy refused. She has been stranded in Bagdad for awhile now. Charlie keeps up with her by email. Kathy Green, another activist who has spent some time here, wrote a letter appealing to the Queen on her behalf. She just "happened" to enclose a glowing article she wrote about the Queen wo...
Jordan, day 4, Petra
2007-04-21 21:06:00
Today was devoted to a visit to the most incredible ancient site of Petr a which is soon to be included in the great ancient wonders of the world. To give you some idea what it looked like think of "Indiana Jones" because that's where a lot of the movie was filmed,,,that is, anything to do with collasal rock structures. Here is one of many sites with a lot of info and pictures: It was a 3 hour ride each way and a 3 or 4 mile walk through the ruins. Okay, take that back. Carla and I rode in a one horse buggy driven by a talkative Bedioun most of the way back. Please visit the website above to get a taste of what I experienced. If you want more do a search on Petra. It really is a fascinating place.
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Jordan, day 3
2007-04-20 21:39:00
Today, our third day here, we finally got our luggage. We were very happy to be able to change our clothes. Because we knew the luggage would be arrivng this a.m. we got a late start on the day's activities.Around 12:00 we met up with our translater, Amjad, who took us on a long and steep walk to the older part of town. Today being holy day, shops were closed although there were makeshift shops in front of the closed shops selling a wide varity of merchandise. It was very crowded and there was much more traditional dress in this part of town. Sermons were pouring out of loud speakers and could be heard many blocks from the mosques.We walked to the ancient Roman ruins which included an acropolis, an ampitheatre, remnants of a bath house, many corinthian columns and walls. It was extremely interesting and we had an elderly guide we could barely understand but enjoyed his unique presentation. No kidding, in ancint times this city was known as Philadelphia. Check it out.We then hir...
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Jordan, day 2
2007-04-19 23:20:00
We began our day with conversation about various aspects of the Iraqi situation. As others staying at the American Center for Oriental Research joined us at the breakfast table our conversation broadened. We met a man who teaches Comparative Religion at a seminary in Austin. He is writing a book on Islam to help explain it to Christians in a unique way to help build tolerance. We met a Fulbright Scholar studying archeology from ancient times, a woman writng her disertation on fundalmentalsm in Islam and others I did not catch enough of their story to recite but each seemed to be a scholar of some sort which is indeed the reason this facility exists..In the afternoon we met with our Iraqi translater named, Amjad, who is himself an Iraqi refugee. First we visited the Webdah School which is a school program and famly center for Iraqi refugees in Jordan . A lady from the U.S. named, Claudia Lefko, seemed to be in charge at this time and had helped start it a few months ago reportedly ...
Arriving in Jordan
2007-04-18 23:12:00
I am writing to you from the library at America Center for Oriental Studies in Amman, Jordan where we are stayng. It is almost 1200 midnight here. We have just gotten in an had some leftovers in the kitchen. The manager was kind enough to loan us a t-shirts to sleep in, a new tooth brush and tooth paste and even a few other very personal items since our luggage did not arrive with us. It may be a few days before it arrives. A plane comes in from Chicago each evening so if it arrives late tommorrow they will probably not deliver our luggage until the following day...if it arrives at all! The thing is , we were stranded in the plane on the Chicago runway for about an hour because our steering went out and we were waiting to be towed. Instead, maintanence was able to fix it after about an hour and then we had to rush from the domestic airport to the international airport which involved a lot of walkng, moving side walks and trains. We made it but our luggage didn't. It was su...
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