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The Good, the Bad, and the Naughty: Keys to Relationship and Marriage Succe
2007-10-09 16:54:00
There seems to be a lot of confusion concerning how women relate to ?nice guys? and ?bad boys.? Let?s clarify?The word is finally getting out that when it comes to getting along with women, nice guys finish last ? or are finished before they get started! ? but as usual, the language being used to discuss what?s happening is inaccurate and misleading because there are too many ?artistic liberties? being taken with the facts and their expression.In the 1980?s we thought we were being told that women wanted a ?nice guy.? What we were really being told was that women wanted a guy who was a manly man, and who wouldn?t do things like verbally and physically abuse them, lay around drunk while they brought home the bacon, etc., and would be at least marginally aware and considerate of their feelings. Hence, we ended up hearing ?experts? tell us that we should do really stupid things like cry in front of our women while watching their tear-jerking movies, defer all decisions to them to compe...
More About: Marriage , Relationship , Good , Keys , The Good

Interested in writing articles but don't have the time? Then speed article
2007-10-07 15:46:00
Yes, I know, I know - what does this have to do with relationship advice or stories?Well, for one reason for this post is because the traffic to this site has risen slightly and to take advantage of this I want to share with you a nice tool to help you with writing an article.This is my second reason. If for some reason you are interested in contributing to this site but don't have the time AND have trouble starting one (leading you to procrastinate) then what I am about to reveal to all of you is definitely or YOU.Hopefully, there'll be some discussion regarding this post or the product as I too want to know what you think about such a software - knowing whether you approve or not. I myself have recently been using this thing and it has rewarded me with more time to pursue/do other things I prefer to do in life - making choreography for hip hop dancing is one of them.Its called Instant Article Wizard and it helps you gather an immeasurable amount (varies) of ideas to start an art...
More About: Writing , Articles , Time , Speed

Why Do We "Suck Up" When It Leads to Break-Ups and Divorce?
2007-10-05 03:21:00
Why do people, both men and women, suck up, kiss butt, etc., to get what they want? Women will divorce men for sucking up as surely as if they had an affair! What does it say about you if you?re doing it, with the opposite sex and in other areas of your life? It?s not good, no matter what you think it gets you. Read on?I got some rather colorful comments on yesterday?s post about women being disgusted by men who allow themselves to be trod upon, so let?s talk about something that most of us do too much, often without realizing it: ass-kissing. Yes, that?s pretty much aggressively seeking to be trod upon, isn?t it? LOL!Oh, you never did it, huh? Never once laughed at a bad joke to keep the boss happy, never once fawned over a woman hoping to get to first base and beyond, never said, ?Yes, sir,? to a cop and then cursed at him under your breath as he walked away?Okay, have it your way. As for the rest of us, it makes us feel like crap and it?s a particularly embarrassing and wholly un...
More About: Divorce , Break , Leads , Suck , Brea

Turning Back the Clock in Relationships and Marriage
2007-10-02 19:45:00
Familiarity may eventually breed contempt, but in the near term, it?s going to breed boredom as couples fall into a rut. Here?s a great way to get out of it?Did you ever wish you could turn back the clock, back to a time when your relationship was fun and exciting? When laughing, naughty play, and earth-shaking physical encounters were not a matter of ?if,? but of ?WHEN?? Think about what brought you to the point of making that wish, and you?ll quickly see why I tell you that you can turn back the clock in an instant.What did you do when you were in high school, hormones raging, not having yet learned that rejection happens more often than not, not having grown too accustomed to seeing your wife in a baggy robe or sweatsuit with hair and make-up unattended, not yet beaten down by a job you don?t like, kids screaming in the middle of the night, etc.?Or if it wasn?t you that did what I?m about to talk about because you were already too timid and insecure to score a great date on the w...
More About: Marriage , Relationships , Clock , Back

Being Your Own Man, Crucial to a Great Relationship and Marriage
2007-10-02 09:16:00
There are two ways to react to the successes of those around you. You can let them make you insecure and jealous, or you can learn from them and use them as motivation to bolster and enhance your own success. You might be surprised at the self-destructive power of the first, and the achievement that can be brought on by the latter not to mention the attraction created by that achievement!I got a call from a man who thought he had a problem, but really doesn?t, unless it?s a memory problem. He?s apparently forgotten who he is!I didn?t get to take the call, but my publisher said that he was about fifteen years older than his wife, who had recently gone through some self-improvement and suddenly had the attention of a bunch of younger men. He described himself as physically fit, pleasant-looking, etc., and my publisher described him as articulate, intelligent, and outgoing and very personable. So what?s his problem?The sudden spike in the attention others pay his wife has left him feel...
More About: Marriage , Relationship , Great

Is She REALLY Being Mean? Or Is There Something More YOU Need to Know?
2007-10-01 02:23:00
Men frequently write to me complaining that their wives pick at them, needle them, push them to do things they don?t want to do, etc. How are you supposed to handle this? The answer might surprise you?I get a lot of letters like the following, and I?ve addressed the issue in "THE Man?s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," but the frequency of these letters is getting scary. There are too many men who don?t recognize what this issue really is and how to deal with it, and families are literally coming apart at the seams because of this simple misunderstanding. Meet Jeff:Hello David,I need help. I haven?t yet read your book but I?ve been reading your newsletters for awhile and I think you can tell me this. My wife has picked up a bad habit of picking on me, making fun of me, being a smart-ass in front of our friends, etc. It?s really abrasive and embarrassing, and getting worse by the day. The more I ask her to stop, the more she does it, like she?s trying to push me into a figh...
More About: Ally , Some

Readers' Lessons On Testing, Emotional Scales, Etc.
2007-09-30 04:17:00
The last couple of days? lessons have brought some great comments from readers that you can learn from, so here they are!We?re going to do something a little different today. Some of my best students have shared comments over the last few days that are insightful and pertinent, but wouldn?t provide sufficient content for a whole newsletter, so I?m going to put them together here for you so that you may share their insights and hopefully have something ?click? that may not have occurred to you.Regarding article on testing from two days ago, the following paragraph was embedded in a status report from my top student:?Great newsletter, by the way - if it isn't a repeater, one of your quarterly reprints, it should be! The whole subject of testing is so critical that it can't be talked about too much. The key, I think, is to get men beyond the recognition of it [we all recognize it, whether we name it or explain it properly or not], and get us to understand that women aren't to be BLA...
More About: Readers , Testing , Scales , Lessons , Emotional

Emotional Scales in Men and Women, and How They Affect Your Relationship an
2007-09-29 02:53:00
MUST READ: Men?s and Women ?s emotional scales are calibrated very differently, and understanding how can literally make the difference in being happy and being divorced.You know how seldom I put the words ?MUST READ? in a title or summary, and I promise it will be worth your time to read this time, too.If I could teach everyone on this planet only one thing above all others to help them get along better, not just in intimate, committed relationships, but in ALL inter-gender relationships, it would be a hard choice between our difference in communication skills and protocols and the difference in the structure our emotional scales. Both are critical to getting along well, and if I had to choose one, I?d feel like I was being asked by King Solomon to cleave and split a child between two mothers, because the two are so indispensable; the absence of either spells disaster.I?ll discuss communication protocols again sometime this week, but today I want to focus on these emotional scales. ...
More About: Relationship , Scales , Men and Women , Emotional

The Man Women Can't Possibly Resist
2007-09-28 03:04:00
An odd chain of events and the resulting train of thought have provided something that many of you will find useful: EXAMPLES of the man women find most irresistible, and how to make sure she sees him!Today has been an unusual day to say the least. I post this newsletter for broadcast at 8:00AM Eastern time every morning because that?s when statistics say it is most likely to be read by the most people, but as many of you know, it is composed at least one day prior to broadcast. (Those of you who want an early jump can always check my blog at http://blog.makingherhappy.com because it gets posted there as soon as it?s finished, often 12 hours or more ahead of the e-mail broadcast!)I mention that so that the following comment makes sense: I?ve been at my computer for eleven hours straight now answering reader e-mails! That?s not necessarily odd, but their polarization certainly has been. The gross majority of them have been questions about attraction, especially what a woman needs to ...
More About: Women , Ossi , The Man

What Women Need from Men Emotionally in Relationships and Marriage
2007-09-25 16:24:00
Let?s talk about what women want from a man in a relationship, especially their emotional needs, and how knowing this can save your relationship or marriage.I?ve been working on an interview that has stirred up a lot of new ways of discussing things we?ve talked about in the past, different ways of approaching and explaining the same problem and solution that may shed more light on the age-old questions of what women want, need, and expect from a man in a relationship.In my free ?Break-Up Busting 101? report, you?ll find definitions and ramifications of the four emotions that relationships are most often based upon: love, attraction, need, and lust, all of which are incorrectly thought to be simply love. Please review this article before continuing if you are not familiar with its contents.Of those four emotions two of them are both healthy and required in a successful long-term committed relationship, love and attraction. You, as a man, need to be an expert on these two emotions an...
More About: Women , Marriage , Relationships , Ally , Emotional

Life Is Half Spent Before We Know What It Is, Sometimes in Bad Relationship
2007-09-22 04:17:00
Why should you make the condition of your relationship such a high priority instead of just tolerating ?just getting by?? The answer may surprise you, and hopefully it will motivate you as well?Young and old alike, listen and learn!One of my favorite hobbies is woodworking, and I do it all. I spent the day today sanding and finishing a set of doors and drawers for my kitchen, 44 panels to be exact. There are still several days more work before they will be complete, which is a good thing, because it gives me time to think.Any woodworker will tell you that working with all the sharp-edged tools to shape wood requires your undivided attention and can be somewhat nerve-wracking, but then comes hours, sometimes even days, of careful sanding through various grits to make the wood as smooth as possible because when stains or finishes go on they highlight every little flaw.This is one of the things that makes woodworking attractive for middle-aged and older men; it gives you something prod...
More About: Life , Relationship , Boredom , Half , Some

The Blogrush Era
2007-09-19 05:29:00
Well people, I have done it I have signed up for Blogrush, a relatively new service that increases the amount of traffic you get on your blog!This is because when you sign up to blogrush, you are given a code to place a widget on your blog which will then show related links to other blogs in the blogosphere - but only if they are a Blogrush member.It is also the same for your own blog. When someone visits a blog with the blogrush widget, if it is within the same category that relates to your blog, then your link to your blog will appear on that (someone else's) blog!To me it pretty much reminds me of adsense in the way that contextual ads appear on blogs/sites. So if you are thinking of increasing your traffic through Blogrush then by all means get more information by clicking the Blogrush image above!

Are You Happy or "Comfortably Unhappy" in Your Relationship and Marriage?
2007-09-15 07:38:00
Settling for less and tolerating adversity because it?s easier than fixing it leads to the pathetic condition of being ?comfortably unhappy.? It kills self-esteem, motivation, and hence, attraction. Don?t let this happen to you! Would you recognize it if you saw it? Read and find out!Today?s edition is something I touch on from time to time because it goes almost entirely unnoticed but wastes more lives than the words, ?Let?s wait and see,? the deplorable condition of being ?comfortably unhappy.? Yes, it sounds like an oxymoron, but as you may have seen around you, even in yourself, it is entirely too easy to get comfortable with being unhappy.People generally dislike major changes in their life, often even positive ones (that?s a topic for another newsletter, but before you think I?ve lost my mind, stop and consider all the people you?ve ever known who responded to things going well for them by finding some way of sabotaging themselves, such as showing up late for work when they?re...
More About: Marriage , Communication , Relationship , Happy , Evaluation

Women Test Us Constantly, So Why Don't WE Test THEM?
2007-09-14 02:33:00
Women test us constantly, so why don?t we test them? Not in retaliation, but to help determine if they are testing us and what they might be trying to communicate. Here are a few tips?I was listening to an old set of self-improvement tapes last night, Roger Dawson?s ?The Secrets of Power Negotiating,? (a classic if you?ve not heard of it, available at Nightengale Conant) and in a section on negotiating tactics, he was talking about overcoming objections and said the main tactic to overcoming objectives is to ?always test for validity.? Here?s an example:You?re negotiating a car deal, and the seller says he can?t possibly go a penny under $25,000 for the vehicle. You ask, ?What if I could bring you cash instead of a cashier?s check?? If he says it won?t make any difference, he?s rigid on the price for some reason, and you need to dig deeper to find out what his issue is to see if there is any way to address it, but if he says, ?Well, then I could possibly come down a little,? $25,000...
More About: Women , Testing , Test , What Women Want

Women Test Men Constantly, Especially in Relationships and Marriage
2007-09-13 01:36:00
Let?s get a little deeper into why women test men, and what you should do when they do, and tomorrow, we?re going to talk about how and why we can test THEM, so stay tuned?I like to write about testing from time to time because it?s an inexorable part of life with virtually any woman. To give you an example of how automatic and literally unavoidable it is, look at how women interact with me.I?m an expert and published author on the subject, proved that to nearly all the women I know during the course of writing ?THE Man?s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage ? as I researched and tested the material, and they?ve acknowledged it, yet all of them test me nearly every time we talk! Some get embarrassed about it, some just laugh, but they know that I know, many want to avoid it because they know they?ll get busted and I?ll give them a hard time over it (in a naughty, mischievous way, not hateful or demeaning!), yet they still do it.Think about what this means to the average guy livi...
More About: Women , Communication , Testing

What If?
2007-09-03 15:24:00
Just a quick post today!What Happens When You Fall In Love With...A chef? (You get buttered up.)A chauffeur? (You get taken for a ride.)A gambler? (He cheats on you.)A telephone operator? (He gives you a phone-y line.)A trashman? (He dumps you.)A clockmaker? (He two-times you.)A pastry cook? (He desserts you.)A shoe salesman? (He walks all over you.)An elevator operator? (He lets you down.)An artist? (He gives you the brush.)A jogger? (He gives you the run-around.)Have a great day everyone :]~

The Meanings Behind Rejection Lines
2007-09-02 14:54:00
Rejection Lines (by Women)10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance".)9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my Dad.)8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)6. I've got a boyfriend. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)5. I don't date men where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)4. It's not you, it's me. (It's you.)3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men ...
More About: Meanings , On Line , Rejection

Banter: A Girl's Best Friend, Especially in Relationships and Marriage
2007-08-28 04:52:00
A key ingredient in any fun, sexy relationship is the fun, flirtatious, innuendo-filled, anticipation-building ritual of ?banter.? Women refer to it by name, while most guys have no clue. If you want to kick things up a notch, read and learn?I had a revelation this morning, or an epiphany if you prefer. I was milling some new cabinet doors and drawers for my kitchen, which makes my wife nuts because my power tools both excite and scare the hell out of her, not to mention the anticipation of seeing the kitchen redecoration complete, and started going over the week?s conversations and events looking for another good lesson to give you guys. And sure enough, I found one.I received eight e-mails this week from women mentioning the word ?banter.? Do you know what it is? You can bet the women in your life do, and they?re looking to you for it, especially the one you?re living with, so you?d better learn quickly.American Heritage Dictionary defines ?banter? as n. 1. Good-humored, playful c...
More About: Marriage , Relationships , Communication , Friend , What Women Want

Relationship Advice Expert
2007-08-27 06:24:00
Welcome readers! (Sorry I just haven't written in a while)I hope you're all having a great day and made the most of your weekend. I just wanted to make a quick post introducing David Cunningham, the second author to this site. What makes him an expert at giving relationship advice is that he isn't afraid to tell it like it is - no beating around the bush.He deals completely and solely on facts and will NOT disclose any advice without the facts to back it up. He feels that this has been the key to his success as EVERYONE who ever took his advice has found "a level of happiness previously unknown in their life.""I'm not just about keeping people from breaking up. I only advise people to stay together when they have a factual basis for doing so; if they have deep compatibility issues, I recommend to them that they acknowledge those differences and move on to find what makes them happy instead of spending the rest of their life in a state of "comfortable unhappiness" because they'r...
More About: Advice , Relationship , Expert , Pert

It was a fling pt. 2
2007-08-17 19:42:00
I think it would have been helpful for me, if I had taken notice that there wasn't a conrete answer after asking her for us to 'be together'. But I didn't. I was caught up in the excitement of having and being with someone. It was an experience (sure I am sensitive when I want to be, but I don't feel comfortable detailing my feelings) that made me forget about any problems I had. That feeling of 'everything is all good in my life' always seemed to fill me each time I was with 'J'. I would be able to converse with 'J' for hours on end and we'd always have something to talk about - at most she was always starting the conversations. It seemed as if things were going pretty great.So, being the old-fashioned guy I was, I did old-fashioned things to please her, anything that would result in her having a smile on her face. I lived just for that. Letters were definitely something that I was not afraid to send, well, to her anyway. These were the only times I ever wrote letters t...

It was a fling
2007-08-17 07:55:00
I haven't written in a while, so please bear with me!The experiences we have about love and life in our lives are truly things that we will always keep close to our hearts. It was during college when I first had a real relationship and it was pretty exciting. I am not the type of guy that will go for anyone. I like to wait for the person who really catches my attention and make me want to chase after them. This is because I am a pretty shy person when it comes to forming relationships, let alone one that brings your friendship with someone to a different level.That was exactly the case for me and a friend whom I had known for about 2 years. Her name was well, let's just give her the alias of 'J', like I said I'm shy. To give you a little background about her, she was the same age me, the same height and we shared the same quirky intellect as each other. We were able to challenge each other's minds, for fun of course, by mucking around with the stuff we learned from an English...

Man of the house
2007-08-13 03:25:00
A random image I found surfing the web a few days back.Really hope you can see the text on this picture! But just in case you can't see it, the man's speech bubble has the text:"I've been thinking... I'm the man of this house, so starting tomorrow I want you to have a hot, delicious meal ready for me the second I walk thru that door... Afterwards, while watching ESPN and relaxing in my chair, you'll bring me my slippers and then run my bath... And when I'm done with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"To which the woman replies:"The funeral director."
More About: House , Ouse , The House

3 Things Every Guy Must Know
2007-08-10 06:44:00
How To Get A Girl BackAny time a guy asks me the question, "how to get a girl back" I always extract three key pieces of information from him before offering any advice:1. Breakup Reason2. Mindset3. TimingEven though every breakup is unique, addressing these three points should be the starting point to any relationship repair strategy. Now let's examine them in more detail to actually see how they fit into the gameplan of how to get a girl back.The first thing that needs to be analyzed is the reason for the breakup. While there may be countless reasons a relationship goes sour, each and every one of these can be put into one of two categories: her interest level declined or his interest level declined.The former scenario occurs when the guy shows too much affection towards the girl. Calling too often, excessive gift giving, and too many "I love you" remarks are perfect examples of this. It contradicts logic, but whenever a girl feels smothered with love, she no longer considers her...
More About: Things

1000 Questions For Couples Review
2007-08-10 06:38:00
Michael Webb is a best-selling relationships author who has appeared on numerous TV and radio programs, including Oprah. He estimates that 83% of divorces would not take place if couples asked each other the right questions, preferably before they married. Everyone has perceptions about the world around them, core values and priorities which are important to us. For two people to get along together at an intimate level, there must be compatibility where it counts. Far better to find this out before living together than to feel the pain of separation or divorce afterwards. Michael Webb has put together 1,000 of the most important questions couples should ask each other, in a 90 page e-book.1000 Questions for Couples begins with these words:- "You are probably aware that in many countries of the world the bride and groom don't really know each other before they get married. Well, that actually happens in every country. I've known men and women who "dated" for 6-12 months who were su...
More About: Review

5 Ways to Get Your Ex Back
2007-08-10 06:31:00
Relationships are fragile bonds that must be continually nurtured and respected in order to flourish. Each person involved in a relationship is responsible for providing value to the other half for a natural balance to be created. It is when this balance is broken that problems start to occur. Eventually an unbalanced relationship will dissolve, and this usually leaves one side still hoping things can be resolved. Being the only one working for a resolution can be a tough and lonely proposition, but there are ways to salvage even the bleakest situations.Be StrongThere is an old saying that ?no one needs the needy? and it applies itself well to broken relationships. Begging, clinging, and desperate behavior is much more likely to repel your lost love rather than attract them. Not only is it important to prove to the world that you can perceiver in the toughest of times, but you also need to prove it to yourself. While no one is claiming that breakups are easy, keep the yelling and cr...
More About: Back

Demand For A Guy's Perspective
2007-08-06 08:28:00
Do a lot of people have interest in the minds of men?This is a question or the foundation of a voting poll I will have up after the current poll ends and also what I will be delivering to you in the near future. It has come to my attention that not only women have advice and stories to share about their past experiences but so do the men. Everyone's opinion counts and more importantly their genuine advice.In the previous 2 stories that were published, it proves women have a lot to share. Is it not true that the men of today also have their stories to tell? Let me invite you, the guys who have been through it all (not literally of course), if not then at least a considerable period in a relationship to share your experiences.As usual refer to this Link to understand the purpose of this site and discover how to publish your own story.My Note: Expect another story from me either later tomorrow morning or late afternoon.
More About: Perspective , Demand

Alone in a crowd (follow up)
2007-07-30 17:59:00
by: Lisa QuirkeCall me a glutton, call me a fool. You'd be right, but some days I just can't help myself. I've been thinking about the ex b/f a lot lately. More, in fact, than is good for me.Yesterday, I dropped by his MySpace page. I noticed that he's missing a friend--his fiance. Yep, she's gone. Odd, I thought, as there was also a recent blog post about how much he loves her.Today, I dropped by again. There is blog post titled 'Starting Over.' Ah, something is up. Damn! This is not good. Not good at all. As if my brain needed more to churn over here.Last night I cried. I pulled up all of the pain and all of the hurt to remind me why I'm better off. It took some Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and my favorite ice cream to pull me out of it. Oh, and let's not forget the Coronas!Today, my brain just won't stop. Believe it or not, I wonder. I wonder if there's a chance. And then I remember that he is now in the exact same place emotionally as when ...
More About: Lone , Alone , Crowd

Alone in a crowd
2007-07-30 00:42:00
by: Lisa QuirkeI truly have a fabulous life. I have two incredible daughters, a loving family, a job I love and am passionate about, and amazing friends. Though it hasn't always been true, it's rare that I am lonely. That's not to say that I don't wish my weekends were a little more filled with dates, but overall I'm very happy and content.This weekend I attended a 3 day family reunion at my parents' house. Family everywhere! Everyone with a spouse or significant other. The last time I spent time with the family in a group was my brother's funeral with the ex b/f who left me 5 days later. I began to miss him all over again and felt so alone.As I sat out on the porch alone on the swing where he and I sat, it almost overwhelmed me. I found myself fighting back tears. I struggled to keep myself happy and to interact with family when all I wanted was get away from the chaos and find some peace.I have been thinking about him lately anyway. We spent damn near every day of last summ...
More About: Lone , Alone , Crowd

Music. Dance. Clock.
2007-07-29 17:04:00
Did you notice the new clock in the sidebar? Pretty funky eh?Apparently it's some sort of intricate advertising campaign for a fashion company in Japan - Uniqlo. At their site, they provide locations for where to buy their clothing line (with a state of the art Flash interface) they are only a few clicks away but are not heavily promoting themselves.My note: If you want the script you're going to have to ask! (After browsing the rest of the site of course)Update: If you let it play long enough it'll change and have poppers (robot dancers) dancing!
More About: Music , Clock , Dance , Lock

To Give You A Smile
2007-07-29 15:54:00
I noticed that I had a few interesting images i've had stored on the computer for some time and it made me smile.Hopefully it will do the same for you :)So if you are down, not just because your relationship with someone isn't doing as well as you would want it, make sure you don't take the 'friendship' joke seriously - it's not funny to laugh at people if they jumped out a window. (LOL)Here is another image I found (it's the one that's been buried for years).Hope you like them~!
More About: Smile , Give