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Stripper / Customer Q & A
2007-07-27 20:16:00
From the moment a stripper sits down at your table the sales pitch begins, with the ultimate goal of securing some dances and money from you the paying customer. While some girls can simply shake their ass and men will follow like hypnotized horny rats trailing the pied piper of pussy, most dancers will have to engage you in conversation. Throughout this exchange it is typical to ask the most rudimentary questions to keep the chit chat going but while you may think you?re being clever and original, you probably aren?t. Blogging stripper Ryann Rain has put together a list of the ten dumb ass questions guys ask strippers:10. Where do you live?9. What does your boyfriend think of you dancing?8. How much for the night?7. What else do you do?6. How old are you?5. How much money do you make?4. What is your REAL name?3. I don?t feel right giving you money; can I take you out for dinner instead?2. You are far to pretty to be here, why don?t you do something better with your life?1. ...
More About: Customer , Custom , Stripper , Ripper

A Little Something for the Ladies...
2007-07-27 02:17:00
We?ve all heard about mail order brides and the websites that offer sexy foreign girls looking for a better life eager to hook up with local single guys but what about mail order husbands? Shouldn?t women have the same opportunities to find love? If that service did exist perhaps it would look something like this? I came across this little gem of a site the other day and had a good laugh. Ladies , here are just some of your available bachelors:Name: StevenI'm definitely a classic romantic. I like a candlelight dinner, some quiet background music, and a couple hits of ether. I prefer a woman that has insurance and a car would be great as I need to make the occassional trip to Mexico to pick up "souvenirs".Location: New Mexico, U.S.A. Name: MarcusEver drank paint thinner? Don't! trust me its a bad idea. I'm a fun lovin' guy who knows a few magic tricks.Location: Southern Idaho, USAName: FuadLadies, I'm still available. I've been here for about 2 years. what gives? Don't ...
More About: Thing , Litt , Dies , Some

Death by Titty
2007-07-25 18:12:00
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Darwin Awards, they are a web based tribute, honoring those people out there that have done the most for the human gene pool by removing themselves from it. In other words, people who wound up dead by the most ridiculous methods. While skimming the site I found this amusing entry that deserves BTN recognition:In Phillipsburg, New Jersey, an unidentified 29 year old male choked to death on a sequined pastie he had orally removed from an exotic dancer at a local strip club. ?I didn?t think he was going to eat it,? the dancer identified only as ?Ginger? said, adding ?He was really drunk.?For more human stupidity, visit the Darwin Awards website.
More About: Death

Dressing for Excess - Johnny Wadd Style
2007-07-24 06:53:00
My new addiction is ordering from T-Shirt Hell. I discovered the site a little while ago and see no other reason to dress in anything else now. I?m the type of guy who finds it necessary to express that I?d rather be snorting lines off a hooker?s ass than doing whatever it I?m doing and T-Shirt Hell HAS a shirt for that. Be sure to check out their site by clicking here or the link in the sidebar on the right. They got fucking funny shirts for men, women and even babies. Prices are very reasonable along with cost of shipping, they take paypal which is great and I have to say I?m impressed by the quality of the shirts also they aren?t thin cheapies that will wear out quick.
More About: Style , Johnny , Dressing

The Cheat Sheet
2007-07-23 01:26:00
I wouldn?t say I condone cheating on your partner but certainly I can understand the various reasons people do it. I think the primary reason men do it is because it is in their fundamental programming, hardwired in their brain. Like it or not, we are still part of nature, and have animalistic instincts leftover from millions of years of evolution and just like other male animals, it is an instinct to want to fuck everything in sight, spreading our seed like nature intended. With the advent of birth control we may not want to spread our seeds any longer but the impulse to mount that hot brunette cocktail waitress still exists, the only problem is society/women have invented this absurd concept of monogamy that goes against our primal urges.As men our entire lives are based on fighting this conflict just because women can?t understand the difference between sex and love. If it was up to us guys, we?d still have families, social commitments, supporting of partners and all that goes wi...
More About: Cheat , Sheet , Cheat Sheet , Shee

Harry Potter Can Kiss My Ass
2007-07-21 18:59:00
So the new Harry Potter book has finally hit shelves and seeing the people lined up for it at 12:01 last night at local bookstores really doesn?t increase my faith in humanity. These people have nothing better to do? You really need to get this book at 12am? What are u gonna go read it all front to back on an all-nighter hopped up on Starbucks? Do us all a favor and use your time to protest the war or something. What is more disturbing is author JK Rowling?s response to the New York Times acquiring an advance copy of the book and publishing a review about it a few days ago.?I am staggered that some American newspapers have decided to publish purported spoilers in the form of reviews in complete disregard of the wishes of literally millions of readers, particularly children.?Holy fuck this bitch is high and mighty isn?t she? It?s just a fucking book, and it is a free country last I checked, and newspapers have the right to review them, just like movies. I don?t know too many k...
More About: Kiss

Wanna be in the new Grand Theft Auto?
2007-07-19 08:13:00
There are few video games coming out this fall that get me harder than the new Grand Theft Auto . GTA IV is slated for release in October and will be the series’ first appearance on the so called “next gen” consoles such as Xbox 360 & Playstation 3. As any regular GTA player knows, part of the game’s appeal is the immersion the player feels in a fictional but all too familiar present day city. Part of that world includes a variety of radio stations a player can listen to whist driving around and running down hookers. In the new Grand Theft Auto 4 one of those radio stations is WKTT, a Steven Colbertish parody of right wing talk radio. GTA publisher Rockstar Games is giving you the opportunity to let your voice be heard as one of the station’s callers and thus be forever enshrined into video game history. To let yourself be heard just call the real phone number to WKTT Radio @ (212) 360-2368, then press 1, if you are over 18 (if you aren’t stop reading this blog now) then ...

Is our daily hottie NSFW?
2007-07-18 17:17:00
I catch alot of flack for having a so called "pornographic" blog yet really the only nudity featured on this site is BTN's Daily Hottie , our longstanding mascot of a naked babe located in the top right corner of this page. Personally i've never felt the daily rotating image to be very pornographic in nature at all and the photos of the babes are tastefully shot and courtesy of our friends at domai.com. Yet some frigid complainers out there are quick to label this xxx, i thought i'd let the people decide.

1408 - Reviewed
2007-07-17 07:42:00
With all the hoopla surrounding the usual summer blockbusters it is pretty easy for a decent movie to slip through the cracks. After seeing the trailer for 1408 a few months ago I was hoping that this thriller based on a Steven King short story to be that decent movie. Unfortunately it wasn?t really up for the challenge. 1408 stars one of my favorite every man actors, a pudgy looking John Cusack as a writer who stays overnight in supposed haunted locations such as hotels, motels and inns and then publishes his experiences, which usually turn out to be the uneventful. That is until he checks into room 1408 in the fictional posh New York hotel The Dolphin. Cusack?s character is an avid paranormal debunker and non believer until the possessed hotel room traps him inside and begins terrorizing him.While the movie has some spooky basics to it, it just doesn?t do anything different than we?ve already seen. It relies too much on the cheap funhouse antics of silence and then a loud scary no...

Help defeat the evildoers
2007-07-16 00:50:00
Normally I could care less about the numerous hollow blog awards that seem to be handed out like candy throughout the blogosphere. A quick visit to pretty much ANY blog and they proudly display some badge proclaiming their blog is the shit, when in reality it is just shit. The latest website to proclaim itself award central is the blogger?s choice awards and it has everyone jumping on the ass kissing bandwagon. There you can pretty much find a category for any style blog and then vote for which one you think should be the top one in the category. Believe me there are some frivolous blogs up for various nominations and they are getting lots of votes.Being the mommy blog hating anti-retard blogger that I am, I have decided that most of the blogs up for voting wouldn?t be worth wiping my ass with if they were actually printed on paper. Who is leading the nominations for best blog of all time? A fucking blog dedicated to cute animal pictures! Good grief. I?ve decided to partake in this ...
More About: Feat , Evildoer

Watch Sicko Right Here
2007-07-14 09:20:00
You can watch Michael Moore's newest leftist documentary Sicko right here in its entirety on Beyond the Neon, if you don't mind the smaller screen - which i didn't. While not as good as his previous documentaries in my opinion still worth watching and a definite must see for all Americans. Say what you want about Moore, sure he has an angenda but that agenda ain't all that bad when you consider a world without corporate greed, gun violence and for profit healthcare. Just try and get half way through this movie without being disgusted.
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Anonymous Stripper Rants
2007-07-12 18:27:00
1 - Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand with a death grip and waving it around at me like it?s the fucking deed to Trump Towers? what the fuck do you want me to do, grow another pussy?!? It?s a fuckin? dollar, put it down on the tip rail and blow my world away already.2 - You losers that come into the club for a lap dance with NO underwear or boxers and thin-ass, nylon shorts, so we slip and slide on your hard-on (which always feel like a sharpie pen ~ fine point)?fuck you.3 - You with the thick-ass jeans, this was an impromptu visit, eh?4 - Don?t pull my thong up during a dance and ask me if it felt good. IT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD.5 - Hey you, Loser, the one counting out the 20 bucks in one dollar increments, rubbing your fingers between each one to make sure you are giving me just that one dollar. Yes, you.6 - No I will not just let you ?slip it in real quick? for $50 more bucks.7 - Yeah, my tits are real. As real as my affection for you.8 - If you cum in you...
More About: Rants , Anonymous , Strip , Stripper , Ripper

Bow Chica Wow Wow - Porno Pizza
2007-07-11 19:14:00
A tried and true marketing technique that always works is that sex sells. A pizza place in my old hometown of Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada is using that classic technique to sell a whole lotta pies and not of the hairy variety. Since opening a few weeks ago, Porno Pizza in Winnipeg has been doing some brisk business by not only satisfying the hungry but also the horny. On the inside bottom of every pizza box they feature sexually explicit pictures that are revealed as the pizza is eaten. According to pizzeria owner Corey Wildeman (yea that?s his real name) the pics range from softly lit upscale shots like in what you would see in Playboy to raunchy hard core shots that would make Larry Flynt blush.While many have applauded the pizza place for their ?erotic? gimmick and even shown their support with some ?drive by flashings? some whiners are bitching about the continued penetration (excuse the pun) of porn into mainstream society?s acceptance. All usual complaints aside the pizzer...
More About: Chica

Transformers - Reviewed
2007-07-09 18:06:00
This summer?s blockbuster movie offerings have been pretty flat so far. We all know by now that Spiderman 3 sucked hard, Pirates of the Caribbean 3 was pretty much the same as #2 except longer and no one went to see Live Free or Die Hard with good reason. Hollywood is again running out of ideas and offering up sequels as the best they can do. Rush Hour 3, really? I want to throw up in my mouth. Enter director Michael Bay?s crack at the long awaited live action rendition of Tran sformer s , the movie based on the cherished 1980?s toy line and animated series. I was a fan of the series and toys but not a fanboy. Like any young boy I played with the toys until I discovered girls had boobs and then promptly moved on to bigger and better things but apparently there are many of you out there that are still major fans and were quite concerned at how this movie would turn out. Would treasured childhood memories be tarnished by a horrible big screen version? Would typical Hollywood pr...

Perv - RIP
2007-07-08 07:17:00
From the city of Yellowknife located deep in Canada?s Northwest Territories comes the lap warming story of a strip club regular. The late Dewaine Dutkowski will be occupying a bar stool in the memories of the staff and customers at Harley's Hard Rock Saloon strip club for some time. Dutkowski died three weeks ago. The bar stepped up to put together his final arrangements when the hospital staff were unable to locate any next of kin to claim his remains. Dutkowski had no family in the North, "only the family he made here," said Harley's daytime bartender Crystal Dowbush.She said she spent every day that she worked at the bar with Dutkowski, also known affectionately as "Perv" by the crew at Harley's. "He was more of a constant than any of the other staff," said Dowbush, who has tended the bar at Harley's for five years. Dutkowski was employed by the bar to do cleanup and general maintenance. He did it to keep busy in his retirement, and took great pride in the work he did for ...

Robert Summa has a small penis - Revisited
2007-07-06 07:14:00
So lately I?ve been occasionally posting on my brand new community blog over on my favorite video game site Destructoid. Dtoid has always been an awesome site and I?ve recommended it as a mandatory read long ago here on BTN but the one thing that started to suck about it was the former editor in chief that ran things for awhile, a douche bag named Robe rt Summa. This dude was a real piece of pathetic, anyways to make a long story short they finally wised up and tossed his ass and he is no longer on the site, (I believe he sells magnets out of the trunk of his car now) but during his tenure he had a very public and very funny breakup with his barely legal girlfriend. She wrote a nice long rant about it on her blog but took it down very quickly and I reposted it on my community blog for all to enjoy. Well I guess he didn?t like that too much and complained to Dtoid which removed the post (which btw was very popular), so unfortunately I?ll have to repost it here again so it can be somew...
More About: Small , Penis

This i already knew
2007-06-30 01:57:00
Check out your blog's rating by clicking above. Last week i surpassed 250,000 visitors and i'm hereby announcing i will be banging my 1,000,000 visitor. Happy Clicking.In other news, these broads are getting back together for a limited "We need money" reunion tour. My question is - who the fuck cares? God look at these chicks, Sporty spice is fat, posh spice looks like a robot with tits, ginger looks like a grandmother, and scary spice is well, even scarier. About the only one i'd consider banging is baby spice but she'd have to promise not to sing.
More About: Ready

Advice for the noobs out there
2007-06-27 06:43:00
Here at Beyond the Neon I occasionally get email from readers wanting advice, asking questions or girls sending me pictures of their tits. While I never get tired of looking at naked broads (keep?em coming ladies) most of the questions I get can be answered by referencing past posts but once in awhile I do like to give the people what they want and dole out advice from my high & mighty drunken position:Hi Johnny,I recently got a job at a club as a floor guy. I've never worked in a bar let alone a strip club. I've been training with some of the other floor guys for a few days and so far it's been chill and it seems like a pretty relaxed working environment. Even though all the employees at the club have to sign a no fraternization contract, I guess it still goes on. One of the floor guys pointed out a dancer and told me how they're fuck buddies. Can you give me any tips on how to go about dating the dancers? How do you know if a dancer is interested in you? How do you go about ge...
More About: Advice , Vice , There , Noobs , The Noob

Pamela Anderson's Lap
2007-06-26 04:16:00
One of the world?s most famous Canadians may be possibly looking to open a strip club in Finland. Former buxom Baywatch beauty and current MILF Pamela Anderson has been touring Finland with her father and according to her official blog she?d like to open a chain of nudie bars and perhaps call them ?Lapland?."Also I thought of a great way to celebrate my Finnish heritage at home. I'm going to look into opening a chain of strip clubs and I'll call them Lapland!"Not sure what kind of business manager she would make but she does have a stripper pole in her bedroom. Pam goes on in her blog to write about the cruel fur farms located in Finland although I fell asleep shortly after I got to that part. The only fur I like is beaver, specifically Pam?s. Apparently Pam does a lot of PR work for some lesbian lobby group called PETA. I think it stands for People for Eating Tasty Animals. Mmmm I?m hungry, I think I?m gonna hit up KFC.

Ten Sales & Marketing Tips you can learn from Strippers
2007-06-23 18:15:00
The dude over at Wise Camel has listed his 10 sales and marketing tips he learned from strippers, its amazing how stripper techiques can be applied to most of life's scenarios.Sales Technique #1 - Give them something for nothingOne of the first things a stripper will do is come up to you and flirt with you. She will likely sit on your lap or do something to raise your excitement level. For this, you have to do nothing. But you do get a sample of the service and if it is a good one, your chances of buying the service increases. This also applies to the dances they do on the stage.Sales Technique #2 - Understand your customersStrippers get to know their customers by asking questions. This allows them to develop a rapport and tailor the sales pitch?Sales Technique #3 - Tailor the Sales PitchStrippers will try different sales pitches to different people based on what she thinks they like. ?I like to get dirty? or ?Have you seen my great ass?? or ?My tits are real?. Each pitch may be th...
More About: Marketing , Marketing Tips , Tips , Learn

This just in...i'm fired!
2007-06-19 17:56:00
TV news anchors are a pretty vapid bunch. They don?t say much unless it comes off a teleprompter and with good reason because they are usually total fucking idiots. When they do adlib some witty banter it just makes you wanna throw up however recently a Fox News anchor proves himself as my hero of the day for saying what probably sounded better in his head but nevertheless turns out to be a stinging zinger on a fellow comrade. Kenny gets owned. I wonder if this dude will get to keep his job.
More About: Fired

For the gamers...
2007-06-15 17:50:00
Check out more gaming cross - marketing endorsements here.
More About: Gamers , The G

Nice View
2007-06-14 07:28:00
You have to admire the brilliance of the British, first they created an empire that spanned most of the world, and then they invented James Bond & Kate Moss. Now passengers landing at Gatwick airport in England are being greeted by a giant naked pole dancer. The 100,000 sq foot image is painted on grassland under the incoming flight path. Planning officers are investigating whether permission was granted for the advertisement, which promotes a website that offers ?virtual lapdances?. The Council to Protect Rural England said that the display was ?a tacky advert which set a nasty precedent?. All the same, a great marketing idea.
More About: View , Nice

How to win at amateur night
2007-06-12 04:30:00
If you aren?t prepared to go all the way and become a full fledged full time flesh peddler, there is always the option to try and make some fast cash flaunting what god gave ya on amateur night. Many clubs have these nights or amateur contests for basically two reasons; to attract bigger drinking crowds that want to see the girl next door naked and to hopefully recruit a few fresh young newbies into their lineup. While you may not want to become a real stripper, using these nights to make some quick tips for showing your tits isn?t all that bad for what might be maybe 15 minutes worth of work. If your only interest is exhibitionism and the bragging rights well that?s ok too, just as long as we all still get to look at your box.If you?ve ever been to Florida on spring break you know how this type of contest works. Some clubs offer the more timid girls a wet t-shirt contest, the type you?ll find in Florida but I?ve never quite understood the value of a wet t-shirt in a fucking strip c...
More About: Night , Amateur , Amat

It's how i used to roll...
2007-06-11 05:32:00
I?d like to say that I was shocked to see such a disappointingly boring series finale to the Sopranos but I wasn?t really that surprised given this last whole season pretty much sucked. Homo erotic plotlines and waiting 19 months in between episodes sure put a damper on what was a great show to watch back in the day. Ah sta migna!Speaking of past pleasures, lately I have been getting such an overwhelming urge to take some ecstasy, must be the summer setting in. I haven?t rolled in over 4 years and I really need to find some stuff, good stuff. Ecstasy was the very first drug I ever took and almost immediately I became a big fan. I will never forget my first experience and how utterly awesome it was. After it I began taking e on a fairly regular basis, reading up on it and learning about it. I even bought a testing kit so I could find the good shit. After a while though, the nice effect you get diminishes as it wreaks havoc on your serotonin levels and you just can?t experience it lik...
More About: Roll

Paris is Free, well maybe not
2007-06-07 18:18:00
Paris Hilton was released from jail early this morning. What was originally a 45 day sentence in jail became a 23 day sentence with a hand picked cellmate and then eventually a three day stay in a private cell. Now she?s under house arrest fitted with an ankle bracelet and confined to her west hollywood home for 40 days. Authorities allowed her release due to undisclosed ?medical reasons?.That?s American Justice folks. Fucking laughable.UPDATED: The judge was pissed at the cop's decision to let her out, so he called her back to court and promptly put the dumb slut back behind bars. At least there is a silver lining to this story, and this picture will defiantly be my christmas card this year.
More About: Free , Paris , Well

Maynard's Candy
2007-06-05 06:49:00
I don't know what it is about this commericial but i'm completely addicted to it. Sexy broad and a great song.
More About: Candy

Beyond the Neon Wants You!
2007-06-03 09:04:00
Awhile back I posted a top ten list of strip clubs around the world. That entry was quite popular and generated some interesting comments, counter suggestions and opinions from lots of people. While I?ve worked in and visited my share of clubs and have my own opinions, I thought it would be interesting to open the floor to anyone to submit your very own review of a strip club you?ve visited. It can be a club you have checked out for the first time, frequent as a regular or one you?d never set foot in again. It would be cool to make this a regular feature and have people from all over submit a review. Male or female, doesn?t matter It doesn?t have to be fancy, you can write it in whatever style you wish however I would like you to review or give your impressions on several aspects of your visit.Guidelines for submissions (please include in your review):Name and location (city, state, province or country) of clubApproximately when you visited, what day of week and around what timeType...
More About: Neon

Pirates are getting boring, let's grow some drugs
2007-05-31 18:35:00
So I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean: At World?s End on the weekend along with the rest of the planet and I assumed that I?d write a review about it but then I got bored. There really isn?t much to say, it is pretty much the same thing as the previous two movies, except longer and with a convoluted plot that really does nothing to inspire. So I?ll leave it at that. The summer movie season so far has been pretty flat and there isn?t much to hope for either with more crappy sequels on the way. Do we really need a ?Rush Hour 3?? What fucking morons are going to see that? And the Simpsons movie? Yea about 15 years too late for that. The only hope is the possibility of the Transformers movie not sucking. In the meantime, if you?d like to watch something kinda funny, check out Angry Alien productions 30 second bunny theatre. The site has a bunch of great movies acted out in 30 seconds by animated bunnies. Yes, I was really bored and drunk when I found this.Continuing my domestication...
More About: Drugs , Rates , Boring , Grow

Lindsay Lohan - One Woman Party
2007-05-29 17:12:00
So Lindsay Lohan was arrested early Sunday morning for DUI and possession of cocaine. She lost control of her Mercedes SL-65 and crashed into a curb and some trees in Beverly Hills. Police said a ?useable amount? of coke was found at the scene. After the crash cops said that Lohan got into another car and was driven to the hospital where she received treatment for minor injuries. No one else was hurt and no other cars were involved with the accident. Cops received a 911 call about the incident and tracked Lohan to the hospital where she was ultimately placed under arrest for investigation of misdemeanor driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs. It appeared as if Lohan was speeding and lost control, she was cited and released and will have to appear before the judge.In true celebrity care free fashion Lindsay was spotted the very next night out at the clubs again, getting drunk and passing out while her friend drove her home this time. God bless Lindsay, a few stints in rehab ...
More About: Party , Woman