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I'm Pink With Joy!
2008-05-14 19:21:00
Holy crap! I can't believe this has been sitting in my inbox for two weeks now and I haven't blogged about it yet. Behold...the poster:There is nothing gay about this. Move along now.[Thanks to Solia for sending me this.]
More About: Movies , Pink , High School Musical

I Could've Done ANYTHING
2008-05-14 15:00:00
Speaking of martial arts movies, I went to see The Forbidden Kingdom on a late-night whim last week. You know, when you're sitting there at home in the dark and contemplating the endless and incomprehensible expanse of existence? You can temporarily blot out the soul-sucking power of your own uncontrollable thoughts with either alcohol or escapist entertainment. I don't drink.The historic pairing of Jackie Chan and Jet Li in this time-traveling kung fu picture was supposed to jolt me into a happy state of mind, but the film is only moderately entertaining. I won't go into detail because I don't bad-mouth Asians (except for that blogger with an immature and idiotic grudge against me?SUCK IT!).What did actually comfort me about that whole movie-going experience was the fact that I was the only person in the entire theater. I sat dead center with my bag of popcorn and my smuggled-in Diet Coke With Lime. (Hey, Mann Theatres, start carrying different flavors of Diet Coke, and maybe I...
More About: Movies

Hi-Ya!
2008-05-13 15:00:00
The Mamet-rigged cons and double crosses in Redbelt may not be as complicated and elegant as the ones in, say, The Spanish Prisoner, Spartan, or, my favorite Mamet film, the criminally underrated (and unavailable-on-DVD), Homicide, but Redbelt towers over those films in terms of emotional resonance and giving the audience a hero that it can not only sympathize with but also root for. That's a big deal. I typically don't go into a Mamet movie (even on repeated viewings) cheering for the protagonists?I'm too busy keeping up with the plot twists, the stylized dialogue, the smoke and mirrors. (One exception is, perhaps, State and Main, his terrific comedy about Hollywood.)Many of Mamet's regulars who I've come to know and love are here: Joe Mantenga, Ricky Jay, Rebecca Pidgeon, etc. But its Chiwetel Ejiofor, that mind-bogglingly great British actor from Dirty Pretty Things and Melinda and Melinda, that brings gravitas not only to his role as a stoic Jiu-Jitsu instructor with a stri...
More About: Movies , Video Clips

Whenever My Dreams Come True, a Kid With Cancer Lives to See Another Day
2008-05-12 15:00:00
There are several possible reasons why Drake Bell did not meet and greet all his fans after his rockin' good concert at the National Train Day event at Union Station in Los Angeles: 1.) he was seriously distraught that some teen girl swiped his sunglasses from right off the stage and ran off with them after the show; 2.) he wanted to stand close to his brand new black BMW because it gave him comfort in his time of loss; or 3.) he knew that if he met me that I would ask him these two questions in all seriousness: a.) "Is the song 'Up Periscope' really a metaphorical ode to anal sex?," and b.) "Will you father my children?" Little does he know, that I am always looking out for his career and advocating for him whenever I have the opportunity. Don't you owe me a fan photograph, Drake? Don't you?! The readers of Bamboo Nation are inspired every time they see my dreams come true! And it's that kind of inspiration that gives kids with cancer hope for another day! Don't you want to ...
More About: Concerts , Music , Dreams , Cancer , Video Clips

Ooh, Heaven Is a Place on Earth, Part 3
2008-05-09 10:26:00
Joanne was in Glendale last night, and Loren kept trying to drag her over to The Americana at Brand. She resisted because, in casual conversation, many people she knew kept describing The Americana in Biblical terms?you know, "the promised land" or "god's green earth" or (according to this blog) "paradise." But all those descriptions were expressed in a mocking fashion. And when something is mocked enough, it loses its cool factor.As an appropriate countermeasure, Loren began equating criticisms of The Americana with acts of anti-patriotism. "If you don't go to The Americana," he warned her, "they win."She ignored him."So, Joanne," Loren continued, " do you love The Americana...or do you love Al-Qaeda?!"We didn't go to The Americana last night. Watch the skies, California. You have been warned.
More About: Earth , Heaven , Part , Place , Part 3

Best Acceptance Speech Ever?
2008-05-09 10:03:00
New Yorkers, how lucky were you to see Elaine Stritch at Liberty when it ran on Broadway a few years ago? How great was it to witness a living legend, at the age of 77, belt out showtunes and wax nostalgic about the history of American theater? How thrilling must it have been to hear Stritch's funny, fascinating, and amazing anecdotes about Marlon Brando, Noel Coward, and Ethel Merman? At the time did you know what a national treasure she was and how adeptly she could spin events in her life into breathtaking stories?I didn't know. Until now. Last night I watched the DVD of Stritch's performance, which was filmed for HBO, and discovered she is a one-woman Jukebox Stories. She tells tales and sings songs, and her stage presence is undeniably irresistible.She won a Tony Award in 2002, of course, and her Emmy Award for the HBO special yielded one of the most delightful and unprecedented acceptance speeches in the history of award shows:How could you not love her?! And if you're a N...
More About: Television , Theater , Video Clips , Acceptance , Speech

Technology Is Good
2008-05-09 09:55:00
I just realized that I never posted this trailer that advertises Scott Heim's new novel, We Disappear. It doubles as a moody music video for a Cindytalk (who?!) song. The video was shot and edited by Scott himself because, I presume, he's as much of a control freak as I am:Theater folk have increasingly started using video to peddle their wares. Why don't more publishing houses follow suit? The future is now, people! If you don't embrace technology and make it your friend, eventually the robots are going to kill you!
More About: Technology , Books , Video Clips , Good

Back to the Drawing Board, Google
2008-05-08 08:28:00
As you know, Google rules just about every part of my online experience?I use Gmail, Google Reader, Google Maps, Google Groups, Google Talk, Google News, Google Alerts, Google's Blogger, Google Analytics, and, of course, Google Search. If an application called Google Masturbator existed, I would have it.So when I recently read that Google launched a totally free 411 service, which can be accessed by dialing 1-800-GOOG-411, I was thrilled. Now Google could be a part of my life even when I'm away from the computer! Plus, no more $1.25 charges from Sprint 411 to get the number of my nearest Indian casino! Check it out:Now does the free-ness of the service cancel out that fact that the only two times I've tried to use it it didn't work? The first time I was connected to the wrong business (Outback Steakhouse in Burbank instead of Glendale [don't ask]) , and the second time the computer on the other end of my phone line couldn't figure out what the hell I was saying ("Raffi's Rest...
More About: Video Clips , Drawing , Board , Back

Scaring the Crap Out of Innocent Girls
2008-05-07 21:41:00
The producers of a Japanese TV show decided to surprise a studio full of teenage girls by showing them a clip from the horror movie, The Ring. The girls freak out and scream, as teenage girls are wont to do, but what happens next is surprising and delightful:Oh, there is so much joy in the world!
More About: Television , Girls , Video Clips , Crap , Innocent

Ooh, Heaven Is a Place on Earth, Part 2
2008-05-06 21:35:00
As you know, The Americana at Brand, that bastion of America's consumer hopes and dreams, just opened in my backyard this past weekend. I am happy (or sad?) to report that I have already visited there five times?count 'em, FIVE TIMES!My second trip was Friday night with Loren, Gabriel, and Donovan, and we could barely walk through the complex because EVERYBODY IN THE ENTIRE SAN FERNANDO AND SAN GABRIEL VALLEY WAS THERE! It was insane. But we did get to watch the awe-inspiring fountain show, choreographed to Bobby Darin's "Beyond the Sea.""You know," Donovan remarked, "that's someone's job. Fountain Choreographer."I had never really thought about that before, but whoever it is deserves to make ONE MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR!On Saturday, I took my mom. She looked through the windows of all the fancy shops and declared, "Everything's so expensive! I'm scared just looking! Is there a Ross here?!" THERE IS NO ROSS THERE, MOM!We went to the multiplex to see Young @ Heart, a funny and m...
More About: Movies , Earth , Heaven , Part , Place

Adobo or No Adobo?
2008-05-06 10:31:00
Despite some serious lapses in sanity, there is still much to admire about the Philippines and its people. And in a surprising Deal or No Deal twist, my respect for the Filipinos has skyrocketed to a whole new level.You see, Howie Mandel is taking American contestants to several of the 120 countries where versions of Deal or No Deal appear and playing the game in those foreign countries. Tonight he hosted the show in the Philippines, on the Filipino Deal or No Deal set in front of a Filipino audience, featuring the Filipino models and the Filipino host, Kris Aquino?the daughter of former President Corazon Aquino.The Philippines version of Deal or No Deal is FUCKING CRAZY! And that's why I love it!First of all, the models not only open suitcases and look pretty, but they also kick off the show with a well-choreographed sexy-dance! WHAT?! Look:And they have names like Darling and Kitten.The Filipino banker doesn't just sit around like the American banker. He paces intensely and, wh...
More About: Television , Video Clips

Badass
2008-05-05 09:20:00
If there's such a thing as a metal fetish, I don't have it. But you have to admit that that Iron Man suit is pretty goddamn sexy. Perhaps that's why Iron Man is one of the comic books I read as a kid and kept underneath my bed alongside my beach volleyball magazines.Aside from having a uniformly terrific cast, the film version of Iron Man also boasts cool effects (who knew suiting up would be so entertaining to watch?), a nifty script (the stripper plane!), and a sharp, wry performance by a suddenly hunky Robert Downey Jr. (yeah, I'd tap that).Thank you, Hollywood, for not fucking this one up and getting Summer 2008 off to a good start.
More About: Movies , Badass

Erecting a Park
2008-05-05 09:11:00
If you're like me, you've always dreamed about building a park full of phallic sculptures in different shapes, sizes, and circumstances?you know, line some of them up like Stonehenge or make one that looks like a penis cannon. Well, guess what? Those crazy Koreans have beaten me to the punch!Haeshindang Park in Samcheok, South Korea, is exactly what I'm describing. Why didn't they just call it "Paradise"?[Thanks to Peter V. at Plastic Bubble World for sending me this.]

Ooh, Heaven Is a Place on Earth
2008-05-03 01:29:00
The moment I stepped onto the premises of The Americana at Brand this afternoon, a $400 million upscale outdoor shopping center and residential development, I started to cry. I immediately called up Loren and declared, "It's like heaven exists, and they decided to put it my backyard!" You see, The Americana is a scant four blocks away from my apartment, and, although I am by no means a spend-happy consumer (I rarely shop), I have a deep appreciation for what this decadent display of mass consumerism and excess represents?it's like America's hopes and dreams in physical form. Seriously. So that's why I cried. Seriously."I have to get off the phone now," I told Loren, "so I can wipe away my tears." And I also wanted to give The Americana, which had its grand opening on Thursday night, the full attention that it deserved. As I took it all in, I thought to myself, "I now know how all those immigrants felt when they passed through Ellis Island."Aside from the 70+ shops and restaurant...
More About: Earth , Heaven , Place

Call It the Spider-Man Grant
2008-05-02 18:05:00
More detailed information about the seven plays and playwrights that I mentored and that I previously wrote about has just been captured in an article in the Palo Alto High School newspaper.Do you remember your high school paper days? I was one of the editors of mine (Monrovia High, can I get a "hell yeah?!"), and back then we didn't have such newfangled tools as Photoshop or the Internet. We we would be stuck at school late, spitting that damn paper out through a motherf-ing printing press! WTF?!TheatreWorks' Playwrights' Initiative receives such unbridled praise from school staff, administration, parents, and students that I'm surprised that it always seems to be a struggle to secure funding for the project from school to school.My suggestion? Why don't they get James Franco (Spider -Man , Freaks and Geeks) to fund the program at least at Paly for the next few decades? He used to go there and apparently revisits the campus to lift stories from students to use in the novel he'...
More About: Theater , Spider man , Call

Not So Jollibee
2008-05-02 09:48:00
Jonny, who blogs at Hatesexy, has just posted the single greatest entry of his blogging career. It's all about his adventures at Jollibee , a Filipino chain restaurant that serves such suspect items as "Crispy Chickenjoy" and "Juicy Yumburger."I am accused by my friends of having no culinary savvy, dulled taste buds, and zero standards when it comes to food, but even I won't set foot into Jollibee. I love my Filipino friends and neighbors...but that shit ain't right.I'll let Jonny explain.
More About: Food

Are ALL Kids' TV Programs Gay?!
2008-05-02 09:43:00
As you know, there's enough gay allegory and queer artistic sensibility in the two High School Musical movies to keep me blogging for my entire life and to keep tweens outraged into the next century. So I really have no need to purposely seek out other kids' programming to bait more faux controversy. But when something like the Nickelodeon sitcom, Drake & Josh, just falls into my lap, how can I possibly shut up about it?As you also know, because of my Drake Bell obsession I've been catching up with the TV show that solidified his star status among the teen and tween set. Because I've been watching episodes of Drake & Josh out of order, I just finished the pilot episode tonight, which first aired in 2004 and which is quite hilarious. But my jaw dropped when I realized that gay metaphors, obvious and otherwise, lurked around every freaking corner of this thing! WTF?!The premise of the show is simple and full of comic possibility. Drake, the handsome and popular high schoo...
More About: Television , Kids , Programs

Where My Bruthas and Sistahs at?!
2008-05-01 09:13:00
As of this writing, Bamboo Nation has no street cred! Is it really possible that no African Americans read this blog?! That's what my latest poll currently reveals!My black brothers and sisters, I know you're out there—so take my poll to prove to the world how diverse my readership is. I mean, how can this blog not be required reading for you, especially since I keep posting videos like this?!:

And STAY Out!
2008-05-01 09:10:00
After tonight's performance of seven one-act plays written by high school students and presented at the Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts by professional actors and directors, I shook the hand of a young playwright. His piece was so disturbing that a parent got up immediately afterward, expressed her disdain to a staff member, and left the building in the middle of the program. "Congratulations," I said to the student. "You've done in just a few months of writing what I've spent my entire career trying to do."I mean, don't we artists all want to create work that will shake audiences to their very core? Whether it's by making people laugh out loud, feel deeply, really think, or, yes, walk out, we want people to have a genuine reaction. And, collectively, all the students achieved all those things tonight.The line-up? A girl is literally trapped inside her own mind until she can solve her romantic dilemma.... The characters in a role-playing game come to life and berat...
More About: Stay

Who's a Bully?; Plus, Big Whoops!
2008-04-30 21:39:00
After a speedy drive from Los Angeles with four albums I just bought rotating in my CD player (Badly Drawn Boy's One Plus One Is One, The Presidents of the United States of America's These Are Good Times People, They Might Be Giants' No!, and The Thrills' So Much for the City) and Diet Coke With Lime coursing through my veins, I rolled into Menlo Park at exactly 3:00PM this afternoon to rehearse Oskar and the Bully . The play, which will tour elementary schools (K-5) in the San Francisco Bay Area pretty much forever (I'm actually not kidding), was commissioned by TheatreWorks and Palo Alto Unified School District.In researching bullies, victims, bystanders, and definitions of bully behavior, I was surprised to learn that, as much as I was bullied at school, I did a fair amount of bullying myself as a youngster. Remember that time in middle school when I went up to Frank Johnson (not his real name) and asked, "Hi, Frank, I just started the I Hate Frank Johnson Fan Club. Do you w...
More About: Music , Theater , Video Clips

All Dressed Up and Nothing to Say
2008-04-29 09:14:00
As East West Players' 42nd Anniversary Visionary Awards Dinner was wrapping up tonight, I called Loren and informed him, "Hey, that black guy from Star Trek: The Next Generation is here."Loren, ever the Trekkie, screamed, "Geordi?! You have to go talk to him!""Why? I've never seen the show.""But...but...but...!" Loren pleaded.And I've never seen Roots or Reading Rainbow either, so the only genuine thing that could come out of my mouth would've been something distasteful like, "Hey, you're that black guy from Star Trek: The Next Generation!" And then I would've walked away shamefully, as he shook his head in disdain.EWP staples like the always reliable Amy Hill, Alec Mapa, and George Takei were there, but it was fun seeing people like that black guy from Star Trek: The Next Generation and American Idol's Randy Jackson. (FYI: Roots is now in my Netflix queue, people! Jeez!)Honored with fabulous awards tonight were Dancing With the Stars' Carrie Ann Inaba, playwright Velina Has...
More About: Television , Theater , Video Clips , Asian America

Who ARE You People?!
2008-04-29 08:56:00
I'm not a big fan of reducing people to cold, hard statistics, but I'm genuinely curious about the backgrounds of Bamboo Nation's readers. Will you please do me a favor and take the following poll to let me know what race you identify with? To get the most accurate stats possible, everybody must take this poll. I know most of you skip the polls, but don't skip this one! This is an exact science!:Click Here to Take Poll if You Can't See the Green Poll Box Above
More About: People

Train Them Early, Part 2
2008-04-28 20:27:00
You've probably seen this before, and I may have even posted it some time ago, but it's worth revisiting:
More About: Video Clips , Train , Part , Early

Train Them Early
2008-04-28 20:22:00
This video is probably not safe for work, but like I care:
More About: Video Clips , Train , Early

Crushing Dreams, One Teen at a Time
2008-04-28 09:11:00
I realize that one of the major draws of reality shows like American Idol is that you get to watch people's dreams get crushed. And I know you find particular pleasure when it's a teenager whose hopes are dashed right before your very eyes. There's something about killing the spark in the eyes of youth that's fascinating (if not empowering).The problem with AI and shows like it is that most of the contestants are well into their 20s. And when 20-somethings lose, it doesn't quite hold the same kind of sadistic pleasure for sick bastards like you.Well, ABC has just announced High School Musical : Summer Session, a reality show in which wide-eyed youngsters will engage in gruesome singing and dancing battles to win a role in High School Musical 3. You'll be pleased to know, according to the casting call, auditioners must be between the ages of 16 and 22. Wow! That's a whole lot of adolescents who will be forced to face bitter rejection in front of millions of TV viewers. Enjoy it...
More About: Television , Dreams , Video Clips , Time

Hilarious Moments of Cultural Insensitivity
2008-04-28 01:22:00
On Saturday, Loren, Gabriel, and I went to have dinner at a restaurant in Glendale, California, the city in which I live. Before I recount a couple of events from that evening, there is some background information that you must know:* Glendale has the largest population of Armenians in the United States.* This past week, the Armenians commemorated the Armenian Genocide?between 1915 and 1923, about 1.5 million Armenians were killed (out of 2.5 in the Ottoman Empire) by the Turkish government.* Modern-day Turkey does not recognize the term "genocide" as an accurate description of what happened, and this is a point of contention between the Armenians and the Turks nearly 100 years later.* Since we were in Glendale, we had an Armenian waitress at the Armenian-run restaurant.First Scene. Gabriel Orders Food:WAITRESS: And for you, sir?GABRIEL: I think I want the Yogurt Kebab. Now this sounds kind of like this Turkish dish I had once. Is this like that Turkish dish? 'Cuz it sounds an awfu...
More About: Hilarious , Moments , Cultural

Oh Snap!
2008-04-26 01:28:00
Way on the other end of the "Smell Yo Dick" spectrum is Sarah Jones and her fantastic poem, "Your Revolution," which I heard many years ago. I later discovered that Jones is an amazing, chameleon-like solo performer, on the level of Danny Hoch and Will Power. "Your Revolution" was immortalized some time back on Def Poetry Jam:
More About: Theater , Video Clips , Snap , Oh snap

No Flags. No Fun.
2008-04-25 10:42:00
Am I overly sensitive or are the new Six Flags' Magic Mountain commercials, which feature a disembodied Asian head screaming in a thick accent, just this side of offensive? Witness:Let me know what you think:Click Here to Take Poll if You Can't See the Green Poll Box Above
More About: Television , Video Clips , Asian America

Boston, DC, Minneapolis, New York--Mark Your Zac Efron Calendars!
2008-04-25 10:15:00
The dates for the rest of Jukebox Stories' 2008 The Case of the Creamy Foam Tour are almost confirmed, so it's time for all of you to get out your Sharpies and draw my face on your Zac Efron calendars. Everything you know and love about Bamboo Nation will be presented to you live and in person?with games, prizes, and amazing music by Brandon Patton thrown in for good measure. If you're close to one of the cities we'll be in and you miss our show, you will go to hell. Wait. Let me double check that.... Yup. I'm right. You will go to hell.Brandon and I will perform for you in Minneapolis on June 5; Washington, DC, on June 12; Brooklyn on June 14; and Boston on June 15. Venues, times, and ticket prices will be announced shortly, and dates are subject to change?as we all are.I must emphasize how rare an opportunity this is. I don't like to leave my house. I already turned down offers to go to Portland and Seattle, and I can barely believe that I agreed to do these four dates. So d...
More About: New York , Calendars , York

Hot Girl Entourage Needed!
2008-04-25 09:27:00
Amtrak launches its first-ever National Train Day on May 10, 2008, with events at four of Amtrak's largest stations?in Washington, DC; New York City; Chicago; and Los Angeles. While those first three cities are stuck with special appearances by the (highly suspect) likes of TV personality Al Roker; the Harlem Globetrotters; and second-string members of Santana, Journey, Boston, Steppenwolf, Toto, and Lynyrd Skynyrd (can you hear me rolling my eyes?), we lucky residents of L.A. will be graced with a concert performed by Drake Bell!Since Jonny and his music (via was the one who first introduced me to DrellJonny's pop-culture educated daughter), I'm pretty sure he'll come with me to see Drell play, but what I really need is a hot girl entourage! You see, there are videos on YouTube of Drake hanging out after concerts and having friendly conversations with groups of fangirls. Drake's natural man-lust, of course, dictates that he does things like linger after performances so that h...
More About: Concerts , Television , Music , Video Clips , Girl