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Man Kiss! Man Kiss! Redux
2008-04-25 02:50:00
In my previous entry about "Nuke," I accidentally posted the wrong video clip?one that showed the couple's first kiss, rather than their third and most recent. I have updated the entry, apologize for the journalistic error, and present to you now all three man-on-man kisses on As the World Turns in one handy dandy clip:I must say that despite the cheese factor there's something quietly revolutionary about all this?and that last kiss (in a public place!) made me shed a quiet tear.
More About: Television , Kiss , Video Clips

Man Kiss! Man Kiss!
2008-04-24 19:43:00
When I was a kid, I used to watch soap operas with my late grandmother during the summers. She was into the ABC triple threat of All My Children, One Life to Live, and, of course, General Hospital. What the shows lacked in storytelling craft, they made up in earnestness and the fact that they were always consistently there every day. I mean, there's something to be said for a bunch of people showing up every day to try to entertain you.My grandmother would sit on the couch, completely immersed in each program, hardly saying a word. But once in while, a man would say something mean to a woman or tell her a bold-faced lie, and my grandmother would mutter, in a Thai accent, "Go to hell!" TV doesn't really get more interactive than that.While I don't watch soap operas anymore (I mean, c'mon, I turned on the TV one time and some creepy old lady was talking to a creepy dwarf?WHAT?!), I did follow in the news the story of Noah and Luke on As the World Turns.Dubbed "Nuke" by fans, the d...
More About: Television , Kiss , Video Clips

"Smell Yo Dick" Redux
2008-04-23 23:17:00
I first told you about Riskay and her brilliantly un-ironic song, "Smell Yo Dick ," last year. Well, she and her crew have finally shot and released an amusingly earnest music video. The highlight is when she bleaches his clothes at 3:10. That girl knows how to seek revenge:Please note that there is no dick-smelling in the video. That would be so trashy.
More About: Music , Video Clips

Lazy or Intentional?
2008-04-22 20:33:00
A couple folks alerted me to a quickly circulating picture of Hayden Christensen walking around town with his jeans unbuttoned and unzipped. I would like to personally thank the gods for Mr. Christensen's carelessness (or is it a premeditated fashion statement?). Click to engorge, er, I mean, enlarge:[Thanks to Coyote Tales and Jeff Walsh for alert me to this.]
More About: Lazy

Badass Glasses
2008-04-22 20:01:00
Oh my god, I don't think I ever showed you my new eyeglasses!Since my glasses are so tied into my very identity and since they are the very things that give me my superpowers (you should see what I could do with a cucumber!), I spent many days a few months ago searching for the perfect pair and agonizing over my narrowed-down choices.I finally selected frames made by Chrome Hearts in a style called "Cooze." These glasses probably cost more than your car. Seriously (click to enlarge): Behold the enticing description:Chrome Hearts utilizes a combination of Japanese and Italian Zyl to make this laminated black and baby pink handmade acetate frame. And to finish this piece of "optical jewelry" are .925 sterling silver hinge accents with a cross motif laser etched detail. For the final detail is a laser etched laminated pink cross on the temples ends. The exquisite Japanese craftsmanship is unmistakable.Yes, my new glasses are badass, and you wish you were me. (Although maybe you can do...
More About: Glasses , Badass

Thankfully Short
2008-04-22 19:22:00
Okay, so you all know my deep and bitter aversion to shorts programs at film festivals. In fact, in a previous post I stated:Anybody who's ever been to a shorts program at a film festival knows that it's like subjecting yourself to self-inflicted bloodletting. Even if there's one short movie that blows you away, it doesn't make up for the inevitable heaps of crap you're bound to sit through.While I stand by my manifesto, I would be remiss not to mention all the festivals that Laundromat, the short movie I'm in, got into. It just premiered a couple weekends ago at FilmOut San Diego, and it's now snaking its way around the country: the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival on April 30, Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival on May 3, CINEMAROSA in Queens on May 18, and NewFest: The NY LGBT Film Festival some time in June.I'll be at the L.A. screening?sitting far in the back, as close to the exit as possible, wearing running shoes for an easy escape. Don't tell anybody.
More About: Movies , Short

Pork Chop IS NOT Fat!, Part 2
2008-04-21 20:39:00
This is fat, bitches!:The 35-pound story is here.
More About: Pork , Part , Pork Chop

The Thing About Nuts and Berries
2008-04-20 20:42:00
I assume that most of you are like me and full-frontal male nudity doesn't shock you or send you into fits of hysterical laughter. I mean, you and I watch so much man-porn that we are desensitized to guys flashing their nuts and berries. So when star Jason Segel exposes himself in his full glory in the opening moments of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, we're not going to find this particularly funny?especially since the media has made such a big deal about this scene, saying that it's "daring" and deeming it some kind of cinematic comic highlight. If this is the best the film has to offer, you think, it's going to be a looooong afternoon at the movies.However, much to our surprise, this break-up comedy is indeed hilarious. In fact, one scene (involving a pig) is so damn funny that we start choking on our popcorn.We did, of course, suspect that we would enjoy Forgetting Sarah Marshall. We loved Jason Segel's bumbling yet lovable drummer in Freaks and Geeks and his doting yet frighten...
More About: Movies , Video Clips , Berries , Nuts , Thing

I'm Two Degrees From Joe!; or, Steve vs. Joe, Part 3
2008-04-18 09:00:00
In a shocking Bamboo Nation twist, I have discovered that I am just two degrees removed from Donovan Patton—Joe from Blue's Clues! My Jukebox Stories collaborator, Brandon Patton (no relation), wrote this in the comments section of my original Blue's Clues post:I must stick up for my fellow Patton and scream to the mountain tops that Joe is the best! (Although I've never seen a single episode. But I was in theAtrainplays with Donovan Patton in New York. He's good people. He had to sing one of my musical numbers. Go, Joe!)Holy crap! Brandon and Joe have hung out together! Brandon knows what Joe smells like! (I'm sure he smells like sugar and lollipops.) I told you I would soon be connected to Joe! Why didn't you believe me two days ago?! Why?!Well, at least you, dear readers, have helped to get Joe's poll numbers up to a respectable level, so it won't be completely embarrassing when he eventually reads this blog:That 22 percent jump for Joe is much appreciated. Now I won't...
More About: Steve , Part , Part 3 , Degrees

The Pressure of Peers
2008-04-18 03:42:00
In 2005, I wrote a play about teen issues for an educational theater program. OutSpoken continues to tour to high schools (and now middle schools) throughout Northern California, aiming to get students talking about diversity and difference without force-feeding "messages" or pat resolutions. (No ridiculous declarations like, "Peer pressure is bad!," like some organizations have tried to get me to do.)While much of the student body got it and seemed to enjoy talking about the piece during the post-play discussion, I was told of an exchange that happened at an earlier performance between the play's director and a seventh grader, which I missed:DIRECTOR: So what are some of the consequences of peer pressure?STUDENT: You'll spend too much money on an eighth of 'shrooms....Maybe force-feeding messages should be reconsidered?
More About: Theater , Peers

My Readers Are Hilaaaaaaaaaarious
2008-04-17 09:00:00
I thought for sure that my recent post about the Olympic torch protests would be the most controversial, most discussed of the year. But noooooooooo. You, my dear readers, have decided that yesterday's post about Steve and Joe and Blue's Clues would be 2008's most hotly debated topic.As I suspected, Joe is taking quite a beating in the Steve vs. Joe poll. I told you people that Joe will eventually come across my blog! He's bound to see his embarrassingly low percentage. Do you really want to make a grown man cry?! If Joe weeps, I weep. If Joe feels pain, I feel pain. You people are hurting me! I mean, look at the cruel numbers so far:Will somebody throw Joe and me a bone here?! He's not going to win this poll, so a few votes for Joe won't sink Steve. It will merely raise Joe's percentage enough to keep me from inflicting PAIN on myself. Please please please? I'm re-posting the poll here. Take it now if you haven't already (the vast majority of you haven't!):Click Here to T...
More About: Television , Video Clips , Readers

The Most Important Poll in Bamboo Nation History; Plus, Reaching Into My "B
2008-04-16 10:58:00
In 2002, I spent a month in Arlington, Virginia, working on the world premiere production of my play, Boyz of All Nation z: The Rise and Fall of a Multi-Ethnic Boy Band. Each morning I would exercise while watching Blue's Clues, a hugely popular Nickelodeon show for preschoolers. But the program was also oddly mesmerizing for adults like me?not only because of its strangely soothing premise and structure (just perfect and gentle so early in the morning), but also because I had huge man-crush on the host, Joe. It was Joe's first enthusiastic year on the show?he replaced Steve Burns, who had been hosting since 1996.Malcolm Gladwell, the author of the terrific book, The Tipping Point, called the show "perhaps the 'stickiest'?meaning the most irresistible and involving?television show ever." His description of it:Steve, the host, presents the audience with a puzzle involving Blue, the animated dog.... In between the discovery of the clues, Steve plays a series of games?mini-puzzles?...
More About: Television , History , Video Clips , Poll

What Have I Done to Deserve This?
2008-04-15 23:13:00
Oh. My. God. I am sitting outside at the Stanford Shopping Center in Palo Alto (an outdoor mall) right now, and I am watching a hot young Abercrombie & Fitch employee interview a hot young Abercrombie & Fitch job applicant. The power dynamic is seriously erotic.The job applicant is well-groomed and wearing an A&F sweatshirt in order to show company solidarity, and the employee is wearing shorts and sandals in order to give off this air of casual, rebellious authority.No doubt, both of them have worked in retail enough to know the importance of eye contact, so what fun it is to watch them gaze into each other's eyes. Since my life is all about wish fulfillment, there's the slight possibility that they will kiss, so I'm going to wait it out and see what happens.

Fun?
2008-04-15 09:08:00
I had activities lined up at Palo Alto High School in the early afternoon and Stanford University in the evening, which left me stranded on the Peninsula for several hours in between. I decided to fill up my time like most people would fill up their time?by going to see a Holocaust movie, of course!The Counterfeiters, which recently won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, tells the compelling true story about a notorious Jewish counterfeiter who gets nabbed by the authorities and subsequently thrown into a concentration camp during World War II. When the Nazis start going bankrupt, our protagonist and some of his fellow prisoners get recruited to forge money.The movie is rife with moral conundrums. For example, the prisoners' counterfeiting efforts keep them alive and well and in better living quarters than the rest of the camp?but their work is helping to fund the war and to keep the Nazis going.No, Holocaust pictures aren't really a "fun" time at the movies (though The Coun...
More About: Movies , Video Clips

Shirtless!
2008-04-14 23:04:00
When I arrived in San Francisco last night (for various Bay Area activities that I will detail in subsequent posts), I discovered that I had left my garment bag in Los Angeles?which means I am missing all my Ben Sherman shirts and I only have enough T-shirts and such for like two days. So the rest of the week I have to either prance the streets of San Francisco in my jacket with nothing underneath (you know, like a crack whore) or go shopping.You already know that shopping for clothes that fit me properly is a nightmare. And the awesome store I recently found (see photo) is unfortunately back in Los Angeles.Why can't shopping be as fun as this delightful Barenaked Ladies song (I love the violins that come in during the pre-chorus!):
More About: Music , Video Clips , Shirtless

"You're Doing It Too Slow"
2008-04-14 09:21:00
This is probably not safe for work?that's why it's so freaking funny:[Thanks to FMD for sending me this.]
More About: Video Clips , Slow

Funkytown Birds
2008-04-14 09:11:00
These are real birds, and they are strangely mesmerizing, especially when synchronized to Lipps Inc.:[Thanks to Golfwidow for sending me this.]
More About: Video Clips , Birds

A Few Words About "Prom Night"
2008-04-13 19:58:00
Oh, great, the only two black students at Bridgeport High School get bestowed with the honor of prom king and prom queen?and then prom gets CANCELLED! Sure, it's because a homicidal killer is on the loose, but STILL. This racial injustice should not be tolerated. Protest! Protest! Protest! Boycott! Boycott! Boycott!(If you cannot discern the satirical tone of this post, stop reading this blog now. This is for your own protection. Please don't write to me. Turn on Blue's Clues and chillax, bro.)
More About: Movies , Words , Prom , Night , Prom Night

The Filipino Inmates Are Back!
2008-04-13 03:46:00
Ah, yes, those hundreds of Filipino prisoners who delighted you with their Thriller dance are back with an amusing rendition of?are your ready for this?!?Laura Branigan's "Gloria." I'm not kidding.Look:[Thanks to Ricky Cox for posting this.]
More About: Video Clips , Back

Mission Semi-Accomplished
2008-04-12 19:57:00
The Nick Lowe concert at the El Rey in Los Angeles was fantastic, of course, culminating in such a beautiful and sincere rendition of "(What's So Funny) 'Bout Peace, Love, and Understanding" that it actually made me weep.I didn't meet Nick Lowe, but I did meet Loudon Wainwright III! Loudon, another musician that I greatly admire and that I've seen in concert a couple times, was just hanging out in the audience. I, of course, spent two hours figuring out my approach tactics (Prince Gomolvilas, cautious minor-celebrity stalker).After a strange performance by opening act Robyn Hitchcock (who delivered long, rambling, bizarre, and sometimes hilarious monologues and who was prone to stopping in the middle of a song and wandering off stage to find the lyrics), I marched up to Loudon:PRINCE: Are you Loudon Wainwright III?LOUDON: Yes.PRINCE: I'm a huge fan of your music.LOUDON: Oh, thank you.PRINCE: I also recently finished watching all of Undeclared on DVD, and you were hilaaaaaaaaaar...
More About: Concerts , Television , Video Clips , Semi , Mission

Bitch, Please, Part 2
2008-04-12 10:07:00
Oh, so now his staff is after me. First of all, that Ben Sherman shirt has gotten me more man ass than Zac Efron at a Bel Ami pajama party.Secondly, you started it. ("This guy is an idiot.")Third, this is a separate issue, but.... When you obviously lift content off my blog to use on your own site, blogging etiquette says you should credit the source?namely, me?the way I credited the blogger I found the content from.Finally, I will be the bigger man and say that I'm willing to kiss and make up. But first.... Retract! Retract! Retract!The ball's in your court, New York.(To new Bamboo Nation readers: As you have maybe discerned, this blog is shamelessly self-referential. For your benefit, perhaps it's time to revisit my now-famous post, "Gay Gay Gay Gay Gaaaaaaaaaay; Or, The 'Gay' Reclamation Project." Please note that you don't have to agree with everything on this blog; you just have to understand. In fact, what's so funny 'bout peace, love, and understanding?)(Oh, my god, ...
More About: Video Clips , Bitch , Part , Bitch Please

I Knew Pork Chop When
2008-04-11 23:12:00
Our beloved Pork Chop made it into this week's Entertainment Weekly (with Tina Fey on the cover) via Diablo Cody 's back-page column! Click the scanned article for a larger view.I am heartened that Mr. Chop is receiving some online love, as well, from commenters on Diablo's latest blog entry. Incidentally, she reveals how we got our hands on that pesky Oscar in the first place in a previous post. (That's like spilling a magician's secrets!)I can attest to the coolness of blog commenters because some of my readers have unleashed their wrath upon a certain previously mentioned blogger who needed an HSM-sized dose of reality. It seems like he's backing down a bit. Just a bit. Hey, when you declare a "catfight," I'm not just going to sit in my kitty litter and stare. I'm going to do things like get Pork Chop to come sit on you.
More About: High School Musical

Protest! Protest! Protest!
2008-04-11 22:34:00
Look, I'm all for freeing Tibet as much as the next person, but the Olympic torch protests in San Francisco (the torch's only U.S. stop) and our presidential candidates jumping on the boycott bandwagon have left a slightly bad taste in my mouth. However, since I am far more adept at writing about boy bands than politics, I haven't been able to clearly articulate why the protests have irked me. Thanks must go, then, to activist Helen Zia for her well-written opinion piece in the San Francisco Chronicle. An excerpt:Unfortunately, the calls to boycott the Olympics and to label everything about China as evil can only serve to isolate China and the United States from each other. China is not a monolith, and blanket condemnations of China and its people are as simplistic as blaming all Americans for the U.S. human-rights violations at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay.The whole article is here.This all reminds me of John Wesley Harding's clever, tongue-in-cheek song, "Protest ! Protest! Pr...

I'm Stronger Than I Look
2008-04-11 20:50:00
Remember when I tried to corner Nick Lowe at a concert last year but was wholly unsuccessful because of an unsympathetic bouncer? Well, tonight I get another shot. Mr. Lowe is performing at the truly awesome El Rey in Los Angeles, in support of the re-release of his 1978 debut album, Jesus of Cool. ("Nutted by Reality," "Marie Provost," "Little Hitler," anyone? Anyone?) And I am mentally prepared to do whatever I have to in order to have brief conversation with Mr. Lowe and continue to fulfill my destiny as a minor-celebrity stalker. After all, he doesn't come to the States often (he's only been in L.A. twice in the last dozen years), so I must embrace this opportunity.Mr. Lowe will no doubt also perform songs from last year's excellent At My Age, including the following acerbic ditty, "I Trained Her to Love Me." I mean, how awesome is that?! The song is called "I Trained Her to Love Me," folks! Brilliant (and, yes, that's the Heartbreakers' Benmont Tench on keyboard):
More About: Concerts , Music , Video Clips , Stronger

Web Design Rapper
2008-04-11 19:55:00
For those of you who have ever done web design, you're going to love this guy. The Poetic Prophet (AKA The SEO Rapper ) raps here about html coding and other web design issues. Seriously:[Thanks to Brandon Patton for sending me this. Nerd.]
More About: Web Design , Music , Design , Video Clips

Bitch, Please
2008-04-11 09:30:00
Apparently, I can't post anything about High School Musical without causing people's panties to bunch up into their ass cracks. Take this blogger, for example, who seems to have it out for me, just mere hours after I wrote my recent "There Will Be Gay" post.From his confusing entry, I am unable to tell which Prince-hating camp he falls into: (1) people who hate me because they think I'm a straight guy who viciously attacks gays, or (2) people who hate me because they think I'm a gay guy who is smearing his own kind and baiting gay bashers. Boy, it goes to show you the importance of context in any situation, as well as a well-honed sense of satire and basic reading comprehension skills.For the record, Prince (a name forced upon him by a white teacher when he was five, by the way) has sucked more cock than Barbra Streisand and loves High School Musical so much that he feels that it is within his right to pen satirical articles about it. You know how some people can make fun of boy...
More About: Bitch , Bitch Please

"Sorry About That"
2008-04-10 21:45:00
Another reason to love Cops:[Thanks to Richard at Proceed at Your Own Risk for posting this.]
More About: Television , Video Clips

Miss This Show at Your Own Peril, San Francisco
2008-04-10 21:07:00
The kind of random mayhem and storytelling prowess that can be found in Jukebox Stories can also be found in Strange Travel Suggestions, a show that actually predates Jukebox and stars acclaimed travel writer Jeff Greenwald. The man spins a wheel that will determine the evening's line-up of beguiling?almost magical?stories about one guy's adventures in faraway lands. You'll recall that I was blown away by the show when I saw it in Los Angeles, particularly by Greenwald's amazing tale about his quest to talk to the Dalai Lama about Star Trek. DID YOU HEAR ME?! The man actually had a meeting with the Dalai Lama! About Star Trek!Well, Greenwald is currently doing his thing again at The Marsh in San Francisco , and, if you care about, oh, culture, you must go see this show. I, myself, will be lucky enough to be in the Bay Area on April 17, and that's the night I'm going and shouting out, "Do the one about the Dalai Lama!"Strange Travel Suggestions is running now until April 26, 200...
More About: Theater , Show , Miss

Mad Props, Against Me!
2008-04-10 09:52:00
Last year, my boy Ben Lee discovered and loved Against Me!'s new album, New Wave, so much that he covered the entire record from beginning to end and made the MP3s available for free on his website. His folksy take on Against Me!'s punk rage was rather charming, and it was a unique if unusual way for one artist to pay homage to another. I mean, I've admired artists so much that I've wanted to be them, but this seemed like wish fulfillment taken to its illogical extreme.Ben's terrific cover versions eventually led me to Against Me!'s original CD, of course, and, after I bought it, I too could not stop listening to it. New Wave has all the street cred of punk, the sweet melodies of pop, and lyrics that soar in their anger, heart, and cleverness. I mean, the album begins with these sharp lines about the very industry that wooed them onto a major label:We can control the mediumWe can control the context of presentationIs there anybody on the receiving endReaching out for some kind...
More About: Music , Video Clips

There Will Be Gay
2008-04-09 20:14:00
High School Musical 3: Senior Year, which will be released theatrically on October 24, 2008, hasn't even begun filming yet, but that hasn't stopped Disney from already announcing that High School Musical 4 is already in the works. It's doubtful that the original cast will return for the fourth installment because there's only so much gayness that a Hollywood career can withstand before it begins to wither and die.According to eFluxMedia, the third movie......will focus on Troy (Efron) and Gabriella (Hudgens), who are faced with the possibility of their romance withering away as they head off to different colleges.Along with the other Wildcats, they will plan a musical that will reflect their experiences, hopes and fears regarding their future. I'm taking bids now from blogs and news sites who want dibs on me guest posting an article titled "High School Musical 3: Gay Gay Gay Gay Gaaaaaaaaaay," which will surely rank up there with the hit count and controversy of my previous art...
More About: Movies , Video Clips , Zac Efron , High School Musical