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God hates Jessica Alba?
2008-04-18 20:14:00
Jessica Alba says she’s tired of being pregnant, because it zaps her of her energy. The Fantastic Four star is carrying the child of her beau, Cash Warren, who happens to be an assistant (i.e. The coffee go to guy… Y’know. He’s responsible for getting backup dancers their coffee. Just saying.). Alba says, “I have to make ...
More About: Jessica Alba , Jessica

Hermione is rich?
2008-04-17 08:57:00
Harry Potter star, Emma Watson , is set to recieve the $20,000,000 she has amassed over 5 crap Harry Potter films, playing the equally crap Hermione Granger. Watson who turned 18 on April 15, was forced to take a crash course in money management and was only allowed to take control of the money if she allowed ...
More About: Rich

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes don?t have a perfect relationship?
2008-04-17 08:31:00
Tom Cruise and his beard wife are supposedly going through some marital strife. Katie Holmes is reportedly upset about the fact that Tom Cruise wants her to be a Stepford Wife/Fembot (I used both because I didn’t know which one would be more applicable in this case), and is looking to spend some time away ...
More About: Tom Cruise , Relationship , Perfect

Paris Hilton hates Mischa Barton?
2008-04-15 12:38:00
With Lindsay Lohan in the arms of Sam Ronson, Nicole Richie “looking after” her kid and Britney Spears locked up, Paris Hilton seems to be running short of people to fight with. So much so that she’s decided to despise a practical nobody. Paris Hilton has supposedly declared war on Mischa Barton (You know that ...

Adnan Ghalib get?s stabbed? I laugh?
2008-04-14 10:41:00
Britney’s (former?) boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib , was attacked and stabbed on Saturday night prompting the JFX photo agency to go on a rant against bloggers instead of blaming it on the simple fact that Adnan Ghalib is a douche… with bum fluff on his chin. The JFX Agency says, Adnan was attacked and stabbed last night but he ...
More About: Laugh

Lindsay Lohan needs money. Desperate to prove she?s a whore?
2008-04-09 22:29:00
Lindsay Lohan is set to start filming for her new film, Indie flick Florence, in which she’s (obviously) required to flash her boobs (I mean… If chicks didn’t flash their boobs in Indie Movies, who’d watch them?). However Lindsay, who’s being paid a meager $75000 for the part, was willing to bare it all for ...
More About: Lindsay Lohan , Money , Lindsay , Whore

Orlando Bloom is the Prince of Persia…
2008-04-08 23:27:00
Not literally though… Or then he’d be the Prince of Iran… and so Bush would be obliged to “take him out”. Anyway, Mr. Bloom has beat out competition to snag the choice $40 million role, based on the video game about an awesome prince that saves the world. Sure Harry went to Iraq, but can he be an ambidextrous sword wielder and crawl on walls? I think not. Page Six reports, He won the contract against stiff competition from Zac Efron and David K. Zandi. The movie is to be produced by Jerry Bruckheimer Films, and directed by Mike Newell. Zac Efron and David Zandi? Stiff competition? From the guy in High School Musical that “Wants to dance” and is “Breaking Free” and the guy that played an Alien in the shit Men in Black Movie? Sure. So… How did they audition? Or did they just have a chat over tea and crumpets before giggling at each other and screeching, “You’re it”. Trust Disney to ruin the awesomeness t...
More About: Orlando Bloom , Orlando

Miley Cyrus hates her dad…
2008-04-07 21:29:00
Billy Ray Cyrus has always tried to make sure that (It looks like) he’s raising Miley Cyrus right. So as Hannah Montanah approaches her 16th birthday, the “Achy Breaky Heart” singer has decided that Miley won’t be getting a pretty-car-that’s-so-small-that-it- hurts-your-back-but-it’s-so-shiny. She’ll be driving a broken down Toyota like the rest of us (Except me… I drive a Nissan. Call me ladies… and guys. I have no friends). Except that Miley didn’t really get the memo. Cyrus Jr. has her heart set on a Porsche 911 Turbo and has apparently already talked to a dealer about the $125,000 car. According to the stars friends, ‘Miley is getting older now and wants to spend her money any way she wants. She is so confident that she’ll be able to buy herself a Porsche when she turns 16 that she’s already shopping for the car.’ God… Just when you thought the world wasn’t unfair enough, this&...

Avril Lavigne is stupid?
2008-04-04 22:02:00
Everyone knew Avril Lavigne was… a bit thick. Ever since she released her first album and went crazy trying to pass herself off as a 5 foot rock demon, everyone knew she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. But after a couple years of relative normaility (Apart from swearing at fans and spitting at ...
More About: Stupid

Cameron Diaz is delusional
2008-04-03 15:50:00
When your long-term boyfriend dumps you for a blonde that doesn’t look like an ugly man, how do you deal with it? Do you cry? Celebrate with the girls? Insist to yourself that you’re hot and desirable, to the point that you’re telling everyone else how you can get any guy you want whenever you ...
More About: Cameron Diaz , Cameron , Diaz , Delusional

Jay-Z and Beyonce probably getting married
2008-04-03 15:39:00
Unless they get marriage licenses for the fun of it. People collect weirder things, you know. So it looks like Beyonce Knowles and Shawn Corey Carter will be tying the knot. What? You don’t think the priest is going to call him Jay-Z during the ceremony, do you? These reports emerge after Jay-Z and Beyonce were in ...
More About: Getting Married , Married

Paris Hilton is overexposed?
2008-04-02 22:52:00
Paris Hilton has shockingly come out top of a poll conducted to guage the “Most Overexposed Celebrity in America”. The poll was conducted by E-Poll Market Research and reported by Forbes. Hilton beat out competition from Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. The always drunk trio pushed the once famous Pamela Anderson into fourth place. Forbes explains ...
More About: Paris Hilton , Paris

Matthew McConaughey is? creepy?
2008-04-01 23:27:00
Matthew McConaughey, star of Fool’s Gold and How to lose a guy in 10 days Has this guy ever made a movie that isn’t for woman?), revealed how he plans to die. He says, “My father died right after making love to his wife, and I can’t think of a better way to go. My dad always ...
More About: Matthew Mcconaughey , Creepy , Matthew

Paris Hilton rocks!
2008-04-01 23:08:00
This is a post I dedicate to the one true love of my life… Paris Hilton … she truly rocks. Dear Paris. I love your blue eyes, that are really brown. I love your blond hair which is really… blond… I assume. I love the fact that you can’t open one eye properly, mainly due to all the ...
More About: Rocks

Britney Spears hits a new low?
2008-03-31 09:35:00
Madonna has asked the press to lay off fallen popstar Britney Spears , because her daughter, the weirdly named Lourdes, feels sorry for her. Madonna says, “(The media) need to step off. For real… Let’s go save her. (Lourdes) knows Britney, but she doesn’t really watch TV or read gossip stuff. I think she sort of gets ...
More About: Madonna , Hits

Jamie Lynn Spears is set to become an honest woman?
2008-03-27 18:43:00
A family source tells People Magazine that mini-moron Jamie Lynn Spears is engaged to the father of her baby, Casey Aldridge. Even though previous reports had suggested that the Spears family wasn’t happy at the thought of an underage Jamie Lynn getting married, but when your older daughter is losing it, a little engagement doesn’t harm ...
More About: Woman , Honest , Jamie Lynn Spears

Katie Holmes is going crazy?
2008-03-26 22:24:00
Katie Holmes is apparently buckling under the pressure of being a gay dwarfs wife (Note the disclaimer… You can’t sue me Tom! I already said it’s probably a lie! Ha! You Homosexual midget!). Holmes is said to be suffering from migraines and dizzy spells. Star Magazine reports, When Katie recently lunched at her favorite restaurant, L.A.’s Joan’s ...
More About: Katie Holmes , Crazy , Katie

Heather Mills needs more money?
2008-03-26 21:52:00
Former model, high-class hooker and general one-legged-greed-machine (TM), Heather Mills , is still fuming that she managed to “only” squeeze 48 million Dollars out of the pockets of Paul Mc Cartney in their divorce suit. Now Heather is out to get more cash from Sir Paul, by hiring forensic Accountants to ascertain that McCartney is worth far more ...
More About: Money

Models are deep?
2008-03-26 21:09:00
Australian Model Kristy Hinze, 27, recently married a 63 year old, wrinkled, pot bellied man… for his brains. The former Sports Illustrated model says she was attracted to Jim Clark because he was so “intelligent”. Oh… and he’s a billionaire… That doesn’t mean anything. Obviously. I’m just throwing it out there. Hinze says, ‘To me, it was different ...
More About: Models , Deep

Spencer Pratt is stupid?
2008-03-25 23:16:00
The Hills star (ha!) Spencer Pratt has recently decided to expand the field of his talents (ha!) by starting an advice service at Radar Online, called Yo Spencer! (You f*cking Class A Douche). A question this week goes like this (I shamefully stole this story from dlisted.com), YO SPENCER! I just started dating this guy who I ...
More About: Stupid

Jamie Lee Curtis is gross?
2008-03-25 21:41:00
Jamie Lee Curtis is intent on staying in the spotlight, despite the fact that the last watchable thing that she’s done was playing Dina Lohan in Freaky Friday 7 years ago (Get it? Dina Lohan is Lindsay’s mum? She played Lindsay’s mum? Keep up people!). So she’s apparently decided to take her kit off and ...
More About: Jamie Lee Curtis , Gross , Jamie

Lindsay Lohan hates her sex video?
2008-03-25 20:31:00
Did you notice that every other blog was updating over the Easter weekend? What a bunch of heathens! Can’t they take some time out to appreciate the fact that Jesus died this weekend? Like I did? Admittedly it would probably be much more believable if I were a Christian… But instead I just look lazy. ...
More About: Video , Lindsay Lohan , Lindsay , Lohan

Pete Wentz wants to kill himself
2008-03-20 21:43:00
Does this have anything to do with Ashley Simpson? Unfortunately not but it would have a whole lot more sense. Singer Pete Wentz went into a depressed phase when his band Fall Out Boy became successful. Yeah, that makes sense. Reminds me of the time I threw myself under a bus when I won the ...
More About: Ashlee Simpson , Kill

Will Smith isn?t crazy?
2008-03-19 21:49:00
Will Smith has quickly moved to quash rumours linking him with the Church of Scientology. Smith, who has been spending an increasing amount of time with The Crazy Dwarf Man (TM) has been the target of conversion rumours, but the Ali star says, “You don’t have to be Jewish to be a friend of Steven Spielberg. ...
More About: Will Smith

Lindsay Lohan wants you to understand?
2008-03-18 21:11:00
Lindsay Lohan , who enjoyed a great holiday… I meant rehabilitation… at Cirque Lodge recently, before coming back to Hollywood and drinking herself into a stupor to forget said hol - Sorry rehabilitation, told People.com that the only reason she ended up in rehab in the first place was due to a “lack of focus”. She says, “I ...
More About: Lindsay Lohan , Lindsay , Understand

Owen Wilson has terrible taste in women?
2008-03-12 19:58:00
Owen Wilson has apparently gotten tired of having sex with the pretty (yet sadly boobless) Kate Hudson and has moved on t pastures… umm… less green, shall we say. Reports from the set of Wilson’s new movie, Marley and Me, say that he is having a ball of a time with… wait for it… Jennifer ...
More About: Jennifer Aniston , Women , Owen Wilson , Taste , Owen

Amy Winehouse needs? THE EXORCIST!
2008-03-11 20:50:00
Dun Dun Dun… Don’t you love the starting music from The Exorcist ? It’s so wonderfully creepy… kinda like Amy Winehouse . Who coincidentally happens to need an exorcism. According to Reverend Bob Larson anyway. The good reverend is currently promoting his show, The Real Exorcist, in America and feels Amy Winehouse could be a prime candidate for ...
More About: Britney Spears

Hayden Panettiere may be single?
2008-03-10 22:00:00
Milo Ventimiglia, the guy who’s supposedly dating Hayden Panettiere apparently doesn’t know it yet. In a recent interview with Cosmopolitan (*cough* gay *cough*) Ventimiglia made some comments that were very unbecoming of someone who was having sex with Hayden Panettiere. When asked about whether he gets nervous on dates, he said, Yes. I?ve been single for a ...
More About: Single

Rachel Bilson is ready to be a soccer mom?
2008-03-10 19:55:00
The bad news keeps rolling in… OC Star, Rachel Bilson , who is rumoured to be dating The man who single-handedly ruined Star Wars (TM), Hayden Christensen , says that she is ready to leave Hollywood and settle down in the role of a mom. She says, “I’ve always been a really maternal person. I really want a family. I ...
More About: Soccer , Ready

Alessandra Ambrosio let a man touch her?
2008-03-10 19:36:00
Brazilian supermodel, Alessandra Ambrosio , has announced that she is expecting her first child with (*sob*) Jamie… In case you haven’t guessed… I’m not Jamie (*sob*). (By the way… *sob*… means my tears of anguish… I’m not calling Jamie a son of a… y’know… Although I think it is quite an apt description of the man.) The ...
More About: Touch