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Heidi Klum is nice?
2008-02-18 20:00:00
Victoria’s Secret model, fraulein (It’s German people… I’m trying to keep it classy here!) and overall hottie, Heidi Klum , has offered a helping hand to a (supposed) victim of drugging, kidnapping and extortion… Britney Spears (Who else?)! The model who lives with her husband Seal has offered Britney a safe haven from the paparazzi… her home! ...
More About: Nice

Bai Ling feels sad?
2008-02-18 17:00:00
Stick insect and… ummm… actress? (Does anyone have any idea what she actually does?), Bai Ling , is sniveling to the press following her arrest for stealing a $16 pack of batteries. She says that she had a “huge problem” after breaking up with her boyfriend just before Valentine’s day. She also wrote on her personal blog, “Here I ...

Lauren Conrad doesn?t give a (bleep) about Afghanistan?
2008-02-18 17:00:00
Lauren Conrad the “star” of the “reality” show The Hills, was reportedly seen stepping out with her female friends on Valentine’s day for a “Girls Night out” (i.e. A night where woman bitch about how terrible men are and how they don’t need them before tipsily heading home with said sex). She told Us Magazine, “I ...
More About: Lauren Conrad , Afghanistan , Give , Lauren

Paris Hilton has loadsa bitches!
2008-02-18 17:00:00
See what I did there? It’s an article about dogs and I used the term more commonly associated with old hags! God… I’m humourous. Back to the article. Paris Hilton is reportedly under investigation by the Los Angeles Department of Animal Services after she announced live on TV that she owns 17 pooches (Legally you’re only ...
More About: Bitches

Britney Spears is a thief!!!
2008-02-18 16:10:00
Following in the foot steps of another woman desperate for attention (Bai Ling ), Britney Spears is reported to have stolen a $100 top from a store in Los Angeles. She was seen wearing a leopard print top when she entered the store, but came out wearing an unpaid for black top. A shopper says, “Britney seemed to ...
More About: Thief

Dakota Fanning doesn?t want to be a baldy?
2008-02-18 10:13:00
Dakota Fanning, one of the few child actors that doesn’t make you wonder why the parents in the movies don’t take them to their room and give them the thrashing of their lives, has reportedly pulled out of her new movie My Sister’s Keeper - Reason? She didn’t want to shave her head. IMDB.com reports, The ...
More About: Dakota Fanning , Dakota

Kirsten Dunst isn?t a druggie?
2008-02-18 09:54:00
(Just ugly than) Kirsten Dunst ’s representatives have blasted reports that it was her wild partying ways that led to the breakup of her 3 year relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal in 2005. Earlier a family source told Us Magazine, “Jake was turned off by all the partying.” A representative for Dunst has dismissed the split rumors as “Downright ...

Kirstie Alley is a fatty again?
2008-02-18 09:28:00
Kirstie Alley has resigned as the spokesperson for U.S. weight-loss company Jenny Craig after three years of not stuffing herself to the point that she looks like the fifth Teletubby. Her role will be filled by Queen Latifah and Eddie Van Halen’s ex-wife Valerie Bertinelli. Jenny Craig spokesman Scott Parker says, “Although Kirstie will not ...
More About: Kirstie Alley , Fatty

Kate Hudson doesn?t want her kid to look pretty?
2008-02-18 09:13:00
Kate Hudson has called for the US Congress to pass laws that would make it illegal for paparazzi to photograph celebrity children without consent. The actress has a child with ex-husband, The Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson, and is fuming about the attention her kid recieves. She says, “It bothers me, it bothers my parents. Ryder doesn’t ...
More About: Kate Hudson , Kate , Pretty

Heather will be happy tonight
2008-02-16 18:51:00
Talk about a good bargain! Spend a few years married to an almost-legendary singer and walk away $110 million richer. That’s the story of Beatles singer Paul Mc Cartney and his estranged (soon divorced) wife Heather Mills . After 5 days in court, a settlement was decided on that awarded Heather $40 million straight up and $5 ...
More About: Happy , Tonight

The government has to get involved with Britney
2008-02-16 18:04:00
Hi all! I’m back…unfortunately. I was having such fun just running one blog and pissing off the people there, but TheSman is unavailable (read: rehab and/or seeing a shrink on a regular basis) and I’ll be taking over the blog for a while. Yes, that means more regular posts, more obvious bias, more pictures and ...
More About: Britney Spears , Government , Britney

Miley Cyrus is a bad bad (wo)man…
2008-02-13 13:16:00
A consumer watchdog has slammed Miley Cyrus for her failure to wear a seat belt in a scene in her new movie. The scene features Miley and her dad (Billy Ray Cyrus) riding in the back of a Range Rover while not wearing their seatbelts (Shocking, I know), The group says, “It seems to us that Miley, her father, and Disney had a perfect opportunity to help influence teens and counteract-rather than encourage-this trend. Then again, as Hannah (Miley) herself sings, ‘Everybody makes mistakes.’” Pffft. Whatever. If any kid takes life lessons from a Disney show than they deserve it if they crash through their car window and are run over by a massive diesel truck… Umm… It didn’t sound that cruel in my mind… Ummm… so… what’s up? (runs away)

Angelina Jolie hates CNN?
2008-02-11 19:35:00
Angelina Jolie is currently in Iraq touring the wore torn nation in her role as a volunteer for the UN’s High Commission for Refugees. While giving an interview Jolie was asked about rumours of the impending addition to the Pitt-Jolie household by CNN’s Arwa Damon, Jolie was apparently less than impressed saying (Before Damon could ...
More About: Angelina Jolie , Angelina

Kids are stupid?
2008-02-05 23:31:00
Hi! I’m back! Sorry for not updating for the last couple of days weeks months… It’s just that… the internet is so different when you’re using dialup! I mean… can you imagine having to stay up the whole night to download a 20 minute porno (You can’t do it during the day, because everyone’s calls ...
More About: Kids , Stupid , Miley Cyrus

Jennifer Love Hewitt still reckons that she has a career?
2007-12-20 20:36:00
formerly famous actress Jennifer Love Hewitt , now starring on some TV show about ghosts has recently turned down the opportunity to pose for Playboy. Hugh Hefner offered Hewitt the chance to flaunt her curves, following recent accusations of acute weight gain that had left the actress fuming. A source says, “She was flattered but has turned down ...
More About: Career

The Spears are living in a condom-free wonderland?
2007-12-19 13:58:00
There’s another Spears baby coming into the world people! Shockingly enough it’s not Britney’s. 16 year old Jamie Lynn Spears, star of Nickolodeon’s Zoey 101 (Which I never ever watch… ever… because it’s girly… and I’m all man, baby), has been knocked up by her boyfriend of a year and a bit, Casey Aldridge, who ...
More About: Britney Spears , Living , Free , Condom

Hugh Grant?s little royal fantasies
2007-12-18 18:29:00
Maybe it’s the aristocratic features or the affected accent, but should any of us be surprised that Hugh Grant is a huge fan of the Queen? After an amicable breakup with Hugh, ex-girlfriend Jemima Khan spreads the dirt…nothing particularly scandalous, but if you read between the lines, a dirty mind (like mine) can have so ...
More About: Britney Spears , Royal

Rihanna hates you?
2007-12-17 18:37:00
Because you all pick on Britney Spears … for shame! Rihanna says that people need to “lay off” the Toxic singer because she’s under a “lot of pressure”. She says, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with partying, partying is healthy. You can’t have a boring life. You have to party some time.” “People put so much energy into being ...

Heather Mills needs money?
2007-12-17 18:31:00
Paul McCartney’s former lover, Heather Mills , has decided that there is a market for a sex manual for females and she apparently sees herself as the ideal person to fill that gap… not her per se… her book, I mean. Apparently Heather considers herself to be something of a “sex guru” and is hoping to teach ...
More About: Money , Needs

Lindsay get?s a new STD depository?
2007-12-16 21:27:00
Part-time actress, full time whore, Lindsay Lohan has managed to find someone brave enough to venture into her STD ridden fire crotch (You know it’s ironic that every blogger claims to hate Brandon Davis, but the term “Fire crotch” seems to be etched into blogging legend… I reckon that’s what Brandon Davis will have on ...

Katie Holmes lies?
2007-12-13 18:18:00
Katie Holmes said that she?s eager to continue being the testing lab mother of Tom Cruise ?s sperm. The 28 year old said she?s eager to add to their test subjects family in the future, but she is currently occupied with Suri. Holmes says, “I’d love to have more children. But I’m in no particular rush. We’re enjoying ...
More About: Katie Holmes , Katie , Lies

Cash Warren wants you to hate him?
2007-12-13 18:17:00
If having a stupid name and having the privilege to call Jessica Alba his girlfriend weren’t reason enough to hate Cash Warren , here’s a new one… He apparently inserted an unprotected phallus into Alba’s nether region and made her the unwitting carrier of his spawn. Yes people, you read that right… the hot girl from Fantastic ...
More About: Hate

Jessica Simpson is talented?
2007-12-12 18:01:00
Jessica Simpson , professional bimbo and amateur singer/actress, is set to strip naked? to earn the respect of the Hollywood film fraternity. This comes despite the Papa Joes? repeated requests that she keep her clothes on. A source says, “Jessica is in the running for a role that, if she gets it, will put her right on ...
More About: Jessica Simpson , Jessica

Britney is a virgin?
2007-12-12 17:57:00
Britney Spears is set to play the Virgin Mary in an upcoming satirisation of the birth of Jesus Christ. French producer Phillippe Rebboah has approached the “Toxic” singer to portray the mother of Christ in the upcoming film entitled Sweet Baby Jesus. Rebboah says, “I had to convince my partners, because they were like, ‘Oh, no. Britney?’ ...
More About: Britney Spears , Britney

People still hate Lindsay Lohan?
2007-12-11 18:24:00
Lindsay Lohan has been banned from an exclusive hotel following her trashing of a room along with her former boyfriend, Riley Giles. After hosting Lindsay and her former flame in the hotel for three days, hotel staff were disgusted to discover the mess of cigarette butts and used syringes in the room, besides an unmistakeble stench. ...
More About: Lindsay Lohan , People , Hate , Lindsay

Borat is insecure?
2007-12-11 18:09:00
Sacha Baron Cohen, who plays Johnny Depp’s rival in the upcoming Tim Burton flick, Sweeney Todd, insisted that that his pants be *ahem* “filled out” while the camera’s were rolling. Designer Colleen Atwood said: “We augmented Sacha’s costume. It was his idea. We stuffed his pants with a little quilted thing. We tried different materials and ...
More About: Borat , Sacha Baron Cohen

Jessica Biel is squeaky clean?
2007-12-10 22:07:00
Firstly I’d like to apologize for the scarcity of updates over the last two weeks (read: none), however I have a good excuse… I was holding off an alien invasion single handedly… and I’m on holiday… and who would’ve thought that it’s tough to get an internet connection in the third world… I mean, can’t ...
More About: Jessica Biel , Clean , Jessica , Biel

Britney?s addicted to looking good?
2007-11-27 21:45:00
Britney Spears is reportedly addicted to plastic surgery, after finally managing to get hold of a mirror and calling herself a “fat pig” (Oh… and she saw the VMA thingamajig). Britney wants to have multiple procedures, including a breast enlargement and liposuction. A friend of the singer said: “Britney has already consulted with at least three ...
More About: Britney Spears , Britney , Good , Addicted , Addict

Kim Kardashian gets robbed?
2007-11-27 21:32:00
Paris Hilton’s, “fat friend”, Kim Kardashian , yesterday lost $50 000 worth of jewelry, a Cartier watch and her bag at JFK Airport while she was flying from New York to Vegas. TMZ.com reports, A source close to Kim tells TMZ that when several Delta employees asked for autographs and photos with her, items were somehow lifted from ...
More About: Robbed

Britney Spears likes Chinese? and funerals?
2007-11-26 21:35:00
I don’t mean Chinese food. Although I’m sure she enjoys that too. Along with Indian, Greek, Italian and French cuisine. Basically anything that can be labeled food. The News of the World reports that Britney plans to adopt two children from China. Presumably because she can’t find her own. Also, Brit has coughed up 25000 ...
More About: Britney Spears , Spears , Funeral