Collective Heartburn

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Merry gaa round
2007-05-18 21:07:00
Yesterday (Thursday May 17, 2007), kicked off Ribe's annual Tulipanfest (tulip festival), which lasts until Sunday. It's a four day weekend of drinking, music, carnival and bazaars. We went to the carnival yesterday, which brought back memories of Nunley's amusement park - the place where I held many a birthday party and where I received my first kiss at age 4. It also reminded me of the annual events that occurred in my home town. The bazaar and carnival where kids went to try the rides, shoot water into a clowns mouth, and eat bad food.Ribe's little carnival had the obligatory rides, ferris wheel, mini roller coaster, haunted house, merry go round, etc. The carnies' game stands were sparse and the prizes were unimpressive and didn't vary from stand to stand. One shooting gallery was void of people because of a giant sea of mud in front of his stand. He stayed unmoved. In the bazaar area there were a cluster of jewelry stands selling the most unappealing selection of goth ...
More About: Round , Merry

Decisions
2007-05-08 15:09:00
I was really getting excited over the notion of either a black president or a female in office. Of course on the condition that the candidate should be well qualified and not chosen for race or gender, but just happening to be both qualified and breaking through the tradition of white, male and protestant. Now I have to say that the candidate I'm most impressed with is John Edwards. He's male, white and methodist. Oh well. The thing is, he has, out of the three the most concise and original, well thought out platform across the board on issues like universal health care and education and a realistic outlook on how the war can be carried out and dealt with. Obama is making me a little tired with his campus rally rhetoric and no true or realistic sounding definitions. He's great at describing where he sees the country heading and his audacity to dream, but how will he make these dreams come to fruition. He's just a bit too golden at the moment. It's still early though. Clinto...
More About: Sion , Decisions

My day with the vikings
2007-05-06 20:56:00
If Caravaggio had painted Viking s?And moreRe-enactment - before blow-up dolls!for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: King , Kings , The V , Vikings

Dannenbrog Cirkus - images
2007-05-04 20:38:00
Ladies and Gentelman...Dancing elephants.Electric hula hoopistTrapeze from under the netAcrobats. The guy on the bottom seriously pulled a muscle.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Images , Image , Anne , Ages

Let us pray
2007-05-04 15:49:00
It's prayer day here in sunny Denmark. Stores and banks are closed. It feels like a Sunday and I'm guessing about 5 percent of the country is praying right now. I'll throw in my little 2 oere and go with:Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha'olam oseh ma'aseh vereshit.My post about the circus in Ribe is coming up once I get past being daunted by all the pictures I have to choose from.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
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Roll over me and click
2007-05-03 12:26:00
Her voice is a little irritating, but I'm thinking of the possibilities between her and me.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Click , Roll , Over , Clic

Whoa!
2007-05-02 23:19:00
OK 2 angry posts in a row. I'll end the evening on a lighter note. Tim, the founder of Pandora was nice enough to leave a comment on that post. See...this is one of the reasons I was and am still so fond of Pandora. Since the inception they have responded kindly and sincerely to any questions or comments I ever brought to them. I will miss you Pandora. But I'm confident I'll turn on my computer one day and you'll be there shuffling music the way you did with all kinds of new widgets and gadgets. Well at least I have Joost now.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Whoa

How?
2007-05-02 23:05:00
How has the USA become a dictatorship? A leader who refuses to compromise. One who represents the tiny minority that supports him. A mass murderer. An intruder. An administration that uses fear to gain support. A liar and a thief. So much corruption. So much hypocrisy. for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn

MAD AS HELL!
2007-05-02 20:34:00
[NO PICTURE!]This fucking sucks ass. As of tomorrow, May 3rd, pandora.com (I won't bother linking now) will be unavailable outside of the US and UK. I have been a loyal fan, spreading the word, boasting the greatness of this site that I just used yesterday. I've purchased music from both itunes and Amazon through Pandora and now I'm pissed off. I guess it's not their fault with liscencing issues and all that crap. I'm just disappointed. Damn disappointed.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Hell

Spring
2007-05-01 22:03:00
There's a smoking pit, makeshift grill in my backyard encircled in stones and septagonal with terracotta bricks. 7 top bricks weigh down the cage, fire underneath, broken branches and beneath that - Earth. This is the location in which I smoked my first jalapeno pepper into a chipotle. Salsa was born thereafter, vinegar, salt, tomato, honey, garlic and onion. Scattered garden patches in my backyard grow scallions, onions, garlic. Cilantro, tomatoes, lettuce. Assorted flowers and more. A birch tree, hazel tree, berry bushes, stinging nettles and a vast variety of other life forms live, welcome, forgive and allow 4 humans to exist on this land.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Spring

Faster
2007-04-27 15:49:00
Collective Heartburn - I've re-formatted Collective Heartburn to only show 5 posts at a time for faster page loads. Just go to the archives for older posts. Collective Kitchen - I've formatted CK to show one video at a time. Same. Archives. Enjoy.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Fast , Aster

Come on baby light my...salmon
2007-04-25 22:14:00
New video on Collective Kitchen. With special guest stars!for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Baby , Light , Come

Mower in law - A tale of passive aggression
2007-04-25 12:25:00
It's a beautiful day. It's warm, sunny, grassy, blooming and Spring. Only the faint sound of German horns honking en route to their seasonal rentals, bicycles atop their Golfs and Pass ats, is above the peace and quiet of this day. Oh, and there's the ripping sound of the lawn mower giving our yard a first clip for the season. That's Hans, my father in law, mowing away out there.It's almost scripted how this happens. I'm out by allergy default. It's not a lie. My most severe allergy is to grass. I stay away. It starts with my wife. She says, "just going out to cut the grass". My guilt reflex kicks in and I actually think for a second that she will do this. Then there's the phone call. "Hi dad" she says. "I have a question. I'm about to mow the lawn and...." it might be a question about the weeds or a tilling question. Hans has become a gardening expert over the last several years and, since his recent retirement, it's something he looks forward to with the eagerness ...
More About: Sion , Tale , Passi , Passive

A.P.B (ees).
2007-04-23 09:23:00
What on Earth?Perhaps it's a machinedesigned to attract drones, built by "the terrorists"to veer honeybees away from the crops.The West must eat fruitless oatmeal.What's next? The utters will disappear from cows and goats?The animals will disappear all together?Perhaps they alone, sans the human animals will beadmitted into the ark.Perhaps it comes from the Almighty.Preparation for the manna.Or the Garden!Then all the fruits and nuts and such will just be there,without the need for pollination. birth. death.A bunch of nudes flopping around in their skin, loving the nature,the environment newly filtered,without high resort hotel rates or park fees.A new Eden without emissions. A place where Bush won't be bush,but Bush will show bush without being the Bush that we know.Just another Buh-bush.Where are the bees? We know the Bee-Gees, butthey can't impregnate crops for cherries.Perhaps it's a ploy by the F.D.A. to introduce the new syntheticpollinating machine.Why don't we find a...

Tso What?!!?
2007-04-17 00:07:00
New video on Collective Kitchen. General Tso's illegitimate child! Enjoy!for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn

God bless you Mr. Vonnegut
2007-04-12 11:01:00
Enjoy life on Tralfamadore. So it goes.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: God , Less , God Bless , Vonnegut

growth
2007-04-11 22:55:00
My hair hasn't been this long in years. I'm surprised about how curly it has become. I guess that's hard to see. But it just won't grow without curling. SNAP!!! It's growing out instead of down.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Growth , Grow

trashy coffee
2007-04-11 22:06:00
I made a white trash Mocha this evening. One giant chocolate Easter egg, table spoon of NesCafé, and boiling water. Allow Easter egg to melt and stir, coaxing the melting process. Speaking of white trash, George W Bush is still an asshole and his endearing "W" seems to have been dropped from people's buzz vocab. Why on Earth is he still trying to defend his lies? This is not a political blog. But what an ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!f or the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Coffee , Trash

The beast in me
2007-04-06 09:44:00
Strangest thing. I took a walk with my daughter to see some animals in the Ribe "zoo", which is not really a zoo. It's a strange collection of animals and plant life out in some woods. We stumbled first upon some Kangaroos, which lived in a bleak, large cage with nothing in it except for a little hiding hut. They looked bored and I felt badly that they didn't have sunny, rolling hills to hop around on. Just a dark cage with dirt.We proceeded on past some horses and birds until we reached the goats. They were fenced in and we were able to go in and pet and play. Here's the strange part. I got hungry. This has never happened before. I've never craved meat while around live animals. Cows never did anything for me. I never looked at a cow and thought of a steak. Nor a chicken and thought of .. well... chicken. Same with lamb. But this time was different. The goat smelled sweet and gamy like it might in a goat stew or a nice biryani. I've been around plenty of goats in my day,...
More About: East , Beast

Eggcetera
2007-04-03 22:41:00
Icing the cupcakesSunday was a day of deviled eggs, cupcakes, egg painting, egg hunting, matzoh, General Tso's illegitimate child, rice and a couple of Paaske beers (one for me on antibiotics). It's nice getting acquainted with other Danish-American families. It makes life in this little medieval corner of the world much more bearable. The town looks prettier. The humanity is tangible and the references don't fly over the cow fields.The egg mafia ready for the huntfor the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Tera

Deliver me from bondage
2007-03-31 22:29:00
Matzoh. What a strange and simple tradition. The haste of the process attributed to a quick escape. I made my first matzoh and you know what? It tastes like something that's been made while trying to escape. Nothing to it. Bland. Unfinished. Hurried....yet beautifully reminiscent of a concrete wall. Zeisen Pesach (shortly)!for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Bond , Live , Elive , Onda , Bondage

Pinch my Salt...
2007-03-31 22:04:00
...is the greatest food blog out there. If you don't believe me then look at this. The recipes and photos are equally brilliant. Thanks Nicole.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Salt , Inch

In honor of the angel of death
2007-03-29 09:57:00
1. I can name the cat that begat the flea that begat the pneumonic plague that I'm convinced I've begatten 2. The blood that the 1st mosquitoes of Spring begat 3. The faint ribbit sound of a frog that my daughter begat 4. The swarm of locusts that gather at the bread counter at Foetex (supermarket) 5. The lice outbreak at my daughters daycare (not her) 6. The local cow with bronchitis 7. The boil that formed on the back of Mrs. Hansen's neck this morning 8. The fiery hail from the spicy burrito 9. I can't see a thing when I cover my eyes with my hands creating vast darkness 10. We'll see what happens. I don't get out much and I'm not a first born male, but I'll check the papers.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Angel , Death , Honor , The A

Spring and meatballs
2007-03-27 11:21:00
Nothing to post about as usual. Just enjoying the first cracklings of Spring and the sunsets out of the west window. I can't wait for the hay-fever. Does anyone know where I can buy an immunity suit?I applied for a tour guide job yesterday, but I have to take the tour guide course first. My Ribe tour would consist of things that might not receive approval from the Ribe Tourist Bureau. I might show the 3 bars in town and where to get decent bread. I would bring people to my house for a sandwich. I might take them to visit my mother in law and have them try the best frikadeller (Danish meatballs) in the West.Strangely, every recipe I find in English for frikadeller has veal (or beef) and pork (or both). I've only seen people make them with pork. Ground pork, chopped onions, salt, pepper, egg, milk (not kosher AT ALL).for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Meat , Balls , Ring , Ball

Who Kneads Bread?
2007-03-23 10:46:00
Hey all. New recipe on Collective Kitchen. Come and get it while it's HOTTTT!!!!for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Read , Bread , Brea

The blue gymnastics outfit
2007-03-22 20:14:00
I shot this last Saturday. My daughter was part of an all day, multigenerational gymnastics event from ages 3-90. This is one of the adult groups that fascinated me with their breadth of dance and calisthenic repertoire. Please stay with it as there are truly priceless moments.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Blue , Gymnastics , Gymnast , Outfit

On a lighter note..
2007-03-06 10:41:00
Happy Purim!!! OK a day late, but I think it's still happening in some places. I made these hamantashen, but I won't share the recipe and you won't see it on Collective Kitchen. It's a secret.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Note , Light , Lighter

To the refugees of Ungdomshuset
2007-03-06 09:33:00
I didn't want to write anything about this. I've been trying to understand it. The government gives you a building to hang out in and express yourselves and then they decide to sell it. Out you go. OK got that. I suppose. I sympathize with you. I wish I had such a place to go to as a kid. But why all the tearing up of the streets and burning cars? You got your clubhouse taken away and now you (not all of you) want to burn the city down?There have been large numbers of people evacuated from their homes - younger than you, with far less opportunities for education and now you're raping the streets, disturbing innocent people and burning property because you don't have a place to show off your fucking tattoos? I get it. I do. I wanted a place to go when I was a teenager. Many teens suffer from angst and depression and the desire to be free and...um...commit arson?!?! I'm guessing that most places do not have an equivalent of Ungdomhuset. There are crisis centers, halfway h...
More About: Refugees , Fugees , Gees

Japan Culture Lab
2007-03-04 13:55:00
This is hilarious. If only I'd known these techniques when I lived in New York and frequented sushi establishments. Silly me using chopsticks instead of holding it at a 45 degree angle between 3 fingers in the air.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Japan , Culture , Cult

Check in bag?
2007-03-04 13:12:00
I'm not sure why this irritates me just a little. A few posts back I wrote about a zip-lock bag that appeared on Denmark's Best Idea and it lost. I found it strange that someone hadn't researched enough to find that it already existed, BIG. It's not such a hidden secret.Now I find in Denmark the first thing that resembles a zip-lock - well it IS a zip-lock, though clunky, it's certainly one type - is specifically made for flights since the "soap bomb" incident of last summer. The thing is it's no bigger than the average sandwich bag. I guess the strategy here is for people to use more smaller bags for different things instead of fewer big bags. Shit, if they took off that silly "check in bag" text then it might just give people the idea that it's also a good storage bag or lunch back.for the full experience go to Collective Heartburn
More About: Check