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Blog Details for "Collective Heartburn"
Collective HeartburnCollective HeartburnMixed bag of stories, essays, ideas, commentary, video and more Articles
Elmo centrism - Why Sesamgade disappoints me.
2009-11-16 21:50:00 It started gradually in the 70s when the little red baby monster was a nobody extra. Then from the mid 80s and on, with his cute squeeze-toy voice, Elmo rose to great power.Journey to Ernie was a great side segment. There was Oscar reading to his pet worm, Slimy, Grover and his travels, the classic Count with his daily numbers, Cookie monster and cookies, which later on were replaced with healthy carrot sticks and celery and other stars of the Pyramid. Back in the day we enjoyed the homoerotic undertones of Ernie and Bert. We witnessed a rare and beautiful friendship between a wooly elephant and a giant, nasal bird. But most of all, Sesame Street was brilliant for it’s ethnic diversity, its colorful cast ranging from monster Muppets to empathic humans, pedagogic content and skillful story telling.In the 90s when PBS went semi for profit, the Sesame Street stars like in any other franchise became greedy for the spotlight. Elmo began making appearances crossing over into primetime. ...
Falling and falling
2008-11-17 16:54:00 Actual rainbow shot 2 days ago. The post was written a month ago.Ouch! I think I sprained my ankle. I was coming down a grated step from my daughter's school and my foot got caught forcing my ankle to twist. I could have gone with it, but I was holding my non-school-age daughter and I didn't want to drop her. Who says my parental instincts are not sharp??It's officially autumn gray and rainy here. It's "hyggelight" up to a point. Up until everyday feels like a shadow with actual mass that is comfortably pinning me down. That's the cozy part, and if I were a bear I would be in heaven. I could surplus my fat and just sleep while collecting my checks from the wild. But I'm not a bear.The upside to fall here is really when it doesn't rain. Makes a huge difference. I get everywhere via bicycle and I have to wear this ridiculous rain suit that makes me look like a member of the poison control society. The up-UP side is when the sun is bright. The light is intense and enriching cast...
Being activated
2008-10-30 17:06:00 No. It does not mean that my owner will turn on a switch wired to my back. It means that I am being activated into the work force of Denmark. It consists of classes, tips and some headhunting all aiming to improve my CV, my job search skills and my communication and interviewing skills.Day 1 - total confusion. I have to make a list of skills consisting of on-the-job and technical skills and personal skills. The list must be comprised of sub-categories which fall into a few main categories. It is the Karate Kid approach to job hunting. I must first sand the floor before I can punch. My previous CV gets tied to my waist and I must go through rigorous training in order to break down the elements, separate them and bring them together in a broad overview only to dissect them over and over until I have an ultra awareness of myself and what I can do on paper.There's just one problem. I find myself jotting things down that I haven't a clue about just to expand my breadth of skills. I wro...
Health records
2008-10-20 05:04:00 I just read an interesting article in the New York Times about all four people running for executive positions in the upcoming election providing limited health reports. In Barack Obama's case a one page letter from his personal doctor was provided stating that he is in "excellent" condition, but has holes considering his history with smoking, mother's cancer and father's drinking problem. McCain's report was given in 1200 pages, but is obscure about where his condition will lead. Joe Biden provided a report regarding his 1988 aneurysms and the fact that he recovered completely, but info is still inconclusive. And Sarah Palin has not provided anything. None of the candidates' doctors have granted interviews.Here's my take on all the secrecy:Barack Obama:Theory one: Obama is the savior so there's no need to pry further. He will remain in perfect health until the end of the world. He just doesn't want to cause a stir. A blood test made public would reveal his true identity.The... More About: Health
Loud keys and thundering epiphanies
2008-10-17 17:41:00 So I'm at the doctor's office yesterday when I notice a thundering and repetitive sound behind me. It's the heavy fingered typing of the receptionist. She's banging against the keys in a slow and sporadic rhythm. Hunt and peck punctuated with anger. Perhaps she has magnets in her fingertips, which are drawn like anti-gravity boots to the old, metal keys.I'm reading Naomi Klein's Shock Doctrine and with each peck to the keys I wind myself back like a typewriter ribbon to the beginning of the paragraph I've started. And then it hits me - I'm sitting in a room with sick people waiting for an ear, nose and throat doctor when I realize this is the first day in a long time that I'm not sitting at my desk at home accomplishing absolutely nothing, thoughtlessly surfing the Internet and applying for countless jobs that I don't really want. I decide I'm going to do humanitarian work.Yes. I want to devote my life, perhaps making less money than I might by wasting away in some corpor... More About: Loud
New Title
2008-10-15 00:13:00 Collective Heartburn has entered the red zone and now must be called GOT SCHPILKES? Please make a note of it. More About: Title
Which one doesn't belong?
2008-10-09 10:43:00 Bi-partisan curiosity."Come 'ere pops and pucker up"!Why didn't Ridley Scott just hire Beau Bridges?Sarah Palin catches a McCain.
shame
2008-09-26 11:05:00 Turns out that my bank, Washington Mutual has been seized by the government and absorbed by JP Morgan Chase. It's all very strange karma. I was at Chase bank in the early 90s and then switched to Chemical Bank. I think? Then Chemical became Wamu. I'm confused. I'm reading that Chase became Chemical, but then Chemical became Chase again. When did Wamu take Chemical or was I dreaming. Now Wamu/Chemical/Chase is all JP Morgan Chase.What's going to happen to my $6 that I hold in Wamu??? Actually nothing now. Business as usual, but I'll eventually receive statements from JP Morgan. And after that I'll receive statements from the American Union. And when the government starts overseeing all the banks and the people pay for the bailouts of the major investment banks then we'll be officially fascist!!! As the Wamu slogan goes:WOOHOOOO!!!!See the difference between fascism and socialism is that with a socialist society or a social welfare system like the one I live in (Denmark), the ...
She says Nucular!
2008-09-12 21:17:00 It's in the republican handbook to not say nuclear. It's nucular. I'm disturbed by this woman's complete lack of knowledge of the world outside the U.S. This interview reveals a great deal of the lack of research and the one dimensional, last minute reach for a type of "change" that right wing America can believe in. I don't blame Sarah Palin. She must be thrilled to have been chosen. She's someone who probably never thought she'd be considered to be second in power in the executive office of the U.S. I wonder if, after all the probing and questioning she has sat with herself and realized 'I really made a mistake by accepting this'.She replies to Charlie Gibson that she's knowledgeable and ready to handle the situation between Russia and Georgia because she can see Russia from Alaska.Update to this post:As May didn't realize that Tina Fey was not just doing a comic routine, but a dead-on acting role, I thought I'd post this little bit here.
imaginary space and telecommunication
2008-08-05 04:37:00 I find an old parachute and a gas mask at 3:06 AM and I think about how I can screw them to a large piece of wood. I have infinite space to work at this hour as all found objects are imaginary as well as the space I have to work in. This becomes problematic with execution. I see a large ink drawing made with a giant brush of two people fucking and the man has a tattoo of America engraved onto his right butt cheek. Words are bent from metal and panels run across a large room. My neighbor's fence is pieced together with holes carved out for MDF slabs and concrete blocks. The same fence I constructed my portfolio case with. The rough, elaborate case, which houses mediocre designs. The same designs, which keep me unemployed and awake at 3:06 AM every morning, visualizing works that I have no space to create. Other news...I have a gripe with the telecommunication companies of Denmark. The painting above pretty much sums up my feelings. They appear to provide service, but under the serv... More About: Space , Telecommunication
Indigenous peepholes
2008-07-11 18:48:00 It's happening. It's been over 3 years, but it's happening. The mechanical strain of starting over, like going for a run after 3 years of sitting on my ass. Stubborn bouts of shit, avoidance and frustration has turned into flow. Just in time. More About: Indigenous
Exhibition opening
2008-07-09 14:32:00 Click on the pic to download pdf version. More About: Opening , Exhibition
Suffering
2008-07-06 10:11:00 I have a severe grass allergy. Trees, bushes, Formaldehyde, dust mites, cat dander...and who knows what else. Allow me to describe where I live:I live in a dusty old house on a large grassy piece of land with various kinds of trees. I live across the street from a forest and very close to fields of animals, and land that thrives on Formaldehyde enriched fertilizer. A short-tailed gray cat lives in my basement.It's no wonder that I can't breathe here in the summer time. I make a joke every so often that I hate nature. I'm a city boy. With good reason. City smog is nothing compared to the natural forces that cause me to cough, sneeze and wheeze until I pass out from exhaustion. And nothing helps. I've taken Aerius, Allegra, Benedryl, Clariton and even shots of Diprospan. The benedryl works a little, but makes me narcoleptic. The Diprospan works for maybe a couple of days and I have to wait a long time before I'm allowed another shot.My next move is to try various plastic bubbles... More About: Suffering
Goodbye Florent
2008-06-30 10:51:00 I had a dream 2 nights ago. It was about my old apartment on Grove Street, which I used to dream about almost every night after having been in Denmark for a few months. This time I'm moving back in and I discover a new room that's been hidden behind a large Mexican rug. I'm so excited because not only am I back in the place where I hatched as an adult, but I have more space. And I'm still paying $500 a month.By the time I left New York in April of 2001 the city had already shrunk in terms of art, culture and creative opportunity. After 8 years of Mayor Giuliani's chemotherapy on the city and Governor Pataki's tightening of rent laws, many of the artists and middle income families had been driven out to other boroughs or other states. The streets got clean, the crime moved out a little and the City lost a great deal of what made it the City.By the time I left New York, Sex and the City was re-shaping a social atmosphere and creating a social elitism that went well with a declin...
what's going on here?
2008-06-17 22:36:00 So...what's this about? Athena Pro Gel Sport pants. There seems to be a circle accentuating the genital area. When I saw this thumbnail on Google images I had to get a closer look. Why the circle? Then when enlarged I saw the protrusion that seems to go down to protect the vulva. Is that protective gear like a sports cup? Or maybe it's to keep the vulva from discomfort that comes with long bicycle tours. That makes sense. But why the circle. They seem to be no nonsense biking shorts with no fancy print or anything. Except for this circle. Is it a designer stripe, which encircles the region for no reason? Perhaps it's a shielded zipper that goes all the way to the back and when one needs the toilet it can just unzip without having to pull the shorts down. Hmm... I think I want jeans with a circle around my package. Just so I know where to find it when I need it. So I don't go looking in my pocket or under the desk or something.In case you were wondering, my Google search word was...
Night Terror!
2008-06-13 10:48:00 "Fassbinder!!! FASSBINDERRRRRR!!!!..." she screamed! At least that's what it sounded like. I don't think a 2 year old knows, as close as she lives to the German border, the filmmaker Ranier Werner Fassbinder. I was half asleep when it happened and apparently she was just screaming, "DADDYYYY". It's normal for a small child to have a nightmare on occasion or to just wake up and need reassurance. This time was strange and startling because the voice sounded more distant and when I went into the room the person behind the voice was not there.I followed the voice downstairs and gasped when I discovered the door to the basement was wide open. I switched on the light and there was Tia Simone at the bottom of the stairs just standing there and wailing. My heart left my body before I saw her standing there as I thought of her at the bottom of the stairs NOT standing, but on the floor, or stuck, or fighting with one of the intruding cats that linger in every so often through the cat door.... More About: Terror , Night
New Heady Pepper: Dark Horse Stew!
2008-06-12 17:29:00 New post on the Heady Pepper ! More About: Dark , Dark Horse
Top stories
2008-06-07 15:52:00 In an after thought rally, hundreds were doing the "Hillary" and waving web-spinning hands in the air in support of the idea of their candidate going all the way to the convention. "If we could just catch flies, we'd have a chance" said one supporter from Texas. "Spin a web any size" said another fan as momentum built from the crowd. The theory that the combination of hysterical facial expressions combined with the universal symbol for web spinning has been known throughout the East to conjure even the most unlikely events.Meanwhile, in lesser important news food will someday be as accessible as medicine!While corporations will be pouring billions into investing in farming and all it's fixins (machinery, land, seeds, fertilizer) billionaires and banks will be profiting off of world hunger. Sound crazy? Replace "world hunger" with "illness". Billionaires will be profiting off of illness. Already being done. I guess someone needs to regulate the rations. I was wondering why farmers ... More About: Stories
Eurovision 2008
2008-05-25 16:31:00 For the past 6 years or so that I've been in Denmark I have grown more and more enthusiastic about the Eurovision song contest in which contestants from all across the continent and a little further compete for the title of best song. I don't know if it's because of the ostentatious costumes and sets or the spectacle of people with questionable talent performing the most awful, the most cheesy, pop candy, gooey, loud songs ever created!! Or might it be over the top theatrics or the gyrating dancers bouncing from one end of the stage to the other like wasps chasing and retreating, soaring and falling, tumbling and...skating?It's a contest in which citizens of countries vote via SMS on the acts that are the flashiest, most erratic on stage or the most ...naked. I think that there have been exceptions in the past when performers won based on shear talent for song. But this contest is much, MUCH more than just musical talent. This is a war between the most costumed and made up and t... More About: Eurovision 2008 , 2008
Mary, Marie quite....not so contrary
2008-05-25 13:30:00 When I flipped on the news the other day I was shocked to see Crown Princess Mary kissing the brother of the future king! Little Joachim in a passionate embrace with Ma...wait a second...Marie ! Not Mary! This was not Princess Mary, but Marie Cavallier of France. I was relieved yet a trace of confusion lingered a bit even after I realized this was not the Crown Princess. The resemblance is just weird.Marie Cavallier (left), Mary Donaldson (right) - Cavallier is a shade or two darker, but otherwise...
Mary, Marie quite....not so contrary
2008-05-25 13:30:00 When I flipped on the news the other day I was shocked to see Crown Princess Mary kissing the brother of the future king! Little Joachim in a passionate embrace with Ma...wait a second...Marie ! Not Mary! This was not Princess Mary, but Marie Cavallier of France. I was relieved yet a trace of confusion lingered a bit even after I realized this was not the Crown Princess. The resemblance is just weird.Marie Cavallier (left), Mary Donaldson (right) - Cavallier is a shade or two darker, but otherwise... More About: Contrary
Post diner food coma
2008-05-21 15:30:00 It seems that just about everyone over the age of 50 is on some kind of medicine for high blood pressure where I come from. That would be Merrick, Long Island. In my recent visit home something happened that made me a little nervous, but later made sense. After eating in one of the numerous diners I became lethargic, suffered severe dry mouth and blurred vision. After ruling out diabetes it dawned on me - the food I ate was some of the saltiest and fattiest food on the Planet.The American diner is not a heart healthy institution, but it spots America more than the Evergreen. From train car nostalgia to Greek and Polish diners you can get staple plates like Cheeseburgers and fries, American cheese omelets, pancakes and grilled cheese sandwiches. Depending on where in America you are you'll find local specialties like scrapple and cheese steaks in Philly or biscuits and gravy throughout the South.Don't get me wrong. I love diners, but I guess I've been away long enough to have lowe... More About: Food , Post
Oy!
2008-04-25 09:50:00 The previous post was a result of BWI. Clearly BWI. What nonsense! It was fun though. Especially the part with winning at pool and eating cold pizza at 2:20.Happy Friday everyone. It's all about David Bowie today. Not David Hasselhoff!
They just keep swimming over the foamy tide
2008-04-25 02:58:00 Ok it's not often you get me like this. Drunk and easy, but here goes.I had a nervous feeling somewhere between the troff and home. Was it the notion that the finest dining in Ribe, the town where I live has a troff for a urinal not unlike the basins of the local cow field where the bovine replenish?Was it the fact that the piece that covered the chain of my bicycle snapped into two?Was it the realization that no matter what I do, Ann Coulter will still try and trick people into believing that she genuinely supports Hillary Clinton?Is it the feeling that I am not alone in the universe beyond Greg Brady's UFo with his covered up white head - the Carl Sagan universe robust with life forms beyond my perception, only characterized in science fiction tales of the absurd to the seriously considered in... The Twilight Zone???What I'm getting at might not go farther than a mocrowavable burger in a local kiosk. But what it might mean for us is that - this burger, which may or may not cons... More About: Swimming , Tide
Land of the free, home of the insane hypocrites
2008-04-22 12:18:00 Yes. That's right. Think about this:Barack Obama is being attacked for statements regarding gun toting Christ mongers. Why? Because despite the questionable values of rednecks and their (in some instances) all too ready to pull the trigger mentality - these rednecks are Americans after all. So when you think about running for president, god strike you down with a fiery cross if you dare speak your mind.Now lets look at homosexuals - Gay Americans have not only been psychologically bashed (and in many cases physically bashed) by the Christian right and other homophobes, But they have also been denied equal rights as straight Americans. Our political leaders have not only had harsh words against gay Americans, but they have set legal limits to an institution that all Americans and everyone else in the world should have a right to - MARRIAGE! Our president, George W. Bush attempted to amend the constitution limiting the rights to straight couples only. Banning same sex couples from th... More About: Insane , Home , Free , Land , Hypocrites
Ziesen Pesach
More articles from this author:2008-04-19 20:11:00 Another day arrives and I forget the Paschal lamb. I'm not referring to Jesus or the day that Christians turned the events surrounding a seder into what we today call Easter. I'm talking about Passover. For those of you who might take for granted that your friends and neighbors might have a few Jews thrown into the mix then think about this - My neighbors have no idea what Passover is. Even though the holiday of Easter is called Paaske in Danish, which I believe is linked to the Paschal lamb, they have no connection to anything Jewish."Why is this night different from all other nights"? My neighbors might say, "Because on this night the sun falls below the horizon two minutes later than it did the night before". Or the fact that yesterday was a holiday called Store Bededag (Great Prayer Day), which was invented in the 1600s in order to consolidate some minor Christian holidays. I'm also wondering if it wasn't designed as another way to disassociate Christianity with it's Jewish... More About: Pesach 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 |
