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Revealed: Eminem's Not-So-Slim Anymore
2008-01-19 08:35:00
OK, I must confess I really don't like where all this Eminem drama is going. I mean, how come everybody who was famous about the same time Britney was famous is having a meltdown? It's like she set the tone, or something along these lines. The Britney virus – yes, that has a certain sound to it – we should call the CDC and ask then to name a disease after her. She could totally endorse that and be proud of it. The fact is, there's an Eminem scandal on the way, and I can feel it. I mean, if there is anything about the old Slim Shady left in this expanding body, he won't let this assault pass and will find a way to fight back. Just a suggestion here – but how about putting it all into a great new album? I miss the old Eminem, the one who used to tell it like it was, the racy, daring, stingy guy who turned his anguish into multi-million dollar selling music.The problem, claims the National Enquirer, is the fact that the rapper is extremely stressed and has had a hard time ove...

When Your Nipples Hurt, Borrow Your Girlfriend's Bra
2008-01-19 08:18:00
Everyone, rejoice! Pete Doherty is back, and he's back with a vengeance. I mean, really, didn't you miss this wreck of a man? I sure did. I mean, I used to think he was pretty touched in the head – and part of me still holds firm to that belief – but when put next to the Britney circus that's been holding a show every day for the general entertainment of the masses, I think that he's starting to look slightly more normal. The fact that he's trying harder than ever – or so they claim – to kick his drug habit may be helping, too. I mean, at first it was just impossible to imagine Douchebag Doherty without his crack-head face, dilated pupils and vacant smile. But in the end, all things change, and rather than a dead Doherty I guess I could learn to love (I Kid, I Kid) a guy who's mildly clean.Trouble is, when you spend most of your adult life hooked on drugs, high on coke 90% of the time, it sort of creates a rift between you and the real world, and it's getting hard to ...
More About: Hurt , Nipples , Borrow

Reese Headed to Custody Battle?
2008-01-18 16:09:00
I always thought Reese Witherspoon was one of the calm, nice and cute presences out there, a lady who's not crazy for the spotlight and is still one of the (if not the) best paid Hollywood actresses. That's why I was very surprised to see her divorce Ryan Philippe, and even more surprised when she hooked up with Jake Gyllenhaal. I mean, don't get me wrong – I totally think Jake is a complete knockout and all, but it all happened so fast we really didn't have time to figure it all out.And then came the rumors that Reese's romance with Gyllenhaal was all part of a big show the two actors were putting on in order to raise the profile of "Rendition", a movie in which they co-starred and that - as we all ever so fondly remember - was a box office flop. But it seems it was all for real – so real in fact that now Reese and Jake seem to be doing so well together that they've managed to annoy Ryan Phillippe and cause him to rage out at his ex wife and demand that Reese's new beau ...
More About: Battle , Custody

It's a Monster! It's a Ghost! No, It's Not! UPDATE: Lindsay Sent to the Mor
2008-01-18 16:03:00
Man, Lindsay Lohan sure looks beat these days. I know life must be pretty difficult for the pseudo-rehabbed party girl, and since she really seems to be short of cash these days she probably decided it was about time to pull off another publicity stunt and make an appearance at a movie premiere, wearing a little black dress, a frown and a look that said "I haven't slept in two weeks". I mean, really – all Lindsay Lohan seems to do these days is shop and try to look less like her forty-something mother, and both those things are a bit of a mystery to me.First of all, I have no clue as to where she gets the money for shopping – and as for the forty-something looks – well, you can pretty much see that for yourselves. In the end, it's not that she looks bad – it's just that every time I see her I get hit by this simple realization: she has no job, hasn't been in a movie in ages, is drinking again, sleeping with all the men she can get her hands on and still people call her a...
More About: Ghost , Update , Monster , Mons

K-Fed Sells His Soul to the Devil for $10 Million?
2008-01-18 15:59:00
I know people have been going on and on over the past few weeks (well, longer than that actually but it got more intense recently) about how Kevin Federline is an amazing person, a great father to his kids and so on. And yes, at first sight that's how things appear. I know it's been said before, but I think anyone would look good as a parent when put next to Britney – and it's amazing to go back a few years and read some of the articles and posts that used to be written about K-Fed (particularly at the time when he and Britney divorced) and which didn't seem to get enough of calling him a douchebag. Well, the tables have turned and now Britney's the crazy one and K-Fed is the embodiment of stability and the man who's keeping Britney's kids safe from their crazy-a*s mother. Yes, I know, it's a crazy world...The fact is, K-Fed and his lawyers have pretty much been doing everything by the book, saying the right things at the right time. "Kevin’s not indifferent to how diffi...
More About: Soul , Devil , Million , The Devil

Oh, No! Is Fergie's Coochie Desperate for Attention Too?
2008-01-18 15:54:00
Admit it – it's been sort of lonely in the "wardrobe malfunction" corner of the celebrity stage – and I do NOT mean Britney Spears, no, no way. That girl should have a whole fashion police column... or website, I'm not fussy, dedicated to her, seeing how she is one walking wardrobe malfunction herself. Exposed nipples, bared breasts, exposed vagina and – latest of all possible gross things – an exposed tampon, all these things have turned all of us off ever mentioning the words "Britney Spears" and "fashion" in the same sentence. But never fear, there are so many others out there just waiting to make the headlines, and I know that if we try really, really hard we can pretty much manage to block Britney's image from our minds long enough to focus on Fergie's latest troubles.No, don't worry, this time she didn't pee herself. For those of you just deplaning from an alien mother ship, the answer is "no" - I wasn't kidding at all when I mentioned that this lovely lady once...
More About: Attention , Desperate

Sad News: Lily Allen Miscarries
2008-01-18 15:52:00
It's not the best news in the world for British singer Lily Allen , and her "Chemical Brothers" partner Ed Simons. Despite the fact that the two have only been together for three or four months, their relationship seemed solid and they seemed to be heading in the right direction. It may have taken us all by surprise when Lily announced she was pregnant a month ago, especially since she had declared herself against people having children at a young age – but as we very well know, Lily's made a habit of doing precisely those things of which she claimed she disapproved – so everybody was simply happy for her and was looking forward for the baby to come.Unfortunately, it has just been announced that Lily has suffered a miscarriage, and I really can't imagine anything more awful for a woman than to go through something like that at any time, least of all at an early age. "They are in a state of shock" reports the Sun, "the bad news has been really difficult for them to take and the...
More About: News

Britney Hits an All-Time (Disgusting) Low
2008-01-18 15:49:00
So, you thought you knew everything there was to know about Britney 's disgusting side? No, that's not a rhetorical question. After reading (and seeing) the latest news on the terribly deranged popwreck, I had to take a trip to the bathroom, calm my stomach and take a good look at myself in the mirror, wondering if the image of what I have just seen will ever be un-stuck from where it was just burnt into my retina. And the fact is, at some remote level I did believe I had seen pretty much everything there was to see in the area of "Britney grossness" - but I was woefully wrong.I mean, we all know Britney is a professional flasher, and has pretty much made history by giving us an all-access pass to her private parts – somethings that, as one of my friends was saying, was not a blessing of any sort. We've seen her coochie and her breasts on more occasions that I could count and in various states of exposure. But her latest such adventure is... well, gross beyond words.I must say, ...
More About: Time , Hits

What in the World Happened to Pink???
2008-01-18 15:46:00
I'm sitting here looking at this photo of Pink and I really can't believe what I'm seeing. I mean, really, I'm having a major case of deja-vu here. I keep repeating to myself "this is a multi-million dollar singer, this is one of the world's top pop performers" and yet all I manage to see is someone who looks just like my middle-age primary school teacher on her way home after attending her grandma's funeral. I'm not sure if it's the short dark hair, the fringe, the haircut, the clothes or the overall attitude – but this photo leaves me sad and slightly worried. What in the world happened to the flamboyant, energetic woman we used to know? What happened to her smile, her eyes, her positive and catching optimism? I mean yes, of course I understand she may have been having a bad day, or maybe she was simply tired, but still – something's not right, and my instinct tells me we'll be hearing about it soon enough.The fact is, we all know the artist hasn't been having the b...
More About: World , The World , What in the World

Another One Bites the Dust...
2008-01-18 15:41:00
Now, who said that Pammy Anderson held the celebrity record for the shortest marriages? I know that at some point we all made fun of Pammy's brains marrying one guy after another and then divorcing them at increasingly small intervals. She stayed married to Kid Rock (or Kid Pebble, call him whatever you want) for a little under four months, and her latest marriage to professional poker player Rick Salomon – yes, that Salomon who made Paris famous for historically spreading her legs on tape – is on its way to an untimely grave. But the fact is, we've treated Pammy very unfairly, and we'll probably burn in hell for doing it. What makes me say that? Well, another... ahem, controversial face out there when it comes to marriage and taking responsibility for his own kids – I'm talking about the one and only Eddie Murphy – has just ended his marriage after a record 16 days. Talk about cheap and fast...It turns out, Murphy and Tracey Edmonds – yeah, THE Tracey Edmonds – deci...

It's Not Easy to Stand by Britney's (Exposed) Derriere
2008-01-18 05:51:00
Well, what do you know. It seems that someone out there got a taste of what it feels like to be constantly followed by a horde of paparazzi snapping away – and doesn't like the feeling one bit. Our favorite paparazzo of the day and Britney's latest boy-toy, Adnan Ghalib, apparently discovered that he in fact hates his former paparazzi pals to death. The pap and the popwreck (yeah, I know, it sounds a bit like "Lady and the Tramp" - only I have no clue who the lady is in this story) went on one of their usual evening drives and wanted to eat dinner at a steak house, only to turn around and leave when their arrival caused the usual media frenzy. Ironically, Brit's new man decided he doesn't like photographers when he's at the other end of the camera, and ended up assaulting his former... er, colleagues, lashing out at tables and chairs and eventually turning tail and leaving Gaucho Grill altogether.I have no idea why these two insist on going out when they know for a fact there...
More About: Easy , Stand

Sexing Up Nicole and Kelly?
2008-01-17 17:05:00
I know Timbaland is a musical genius – plus, he's kind of good looking too and rolling in the millions of dollars, I hear – and I also know that he has this uncanny ability to turn everything he touches into gold. So yes, it's no surprise that another one of his tracks is doing great in the charts, but for the life of me, I can't make any sense of the video for "Scream" (the latest song from his "Shock Value" album to get a video). Maybe you're familiar with this song already, and maybe you're not – you can check it out below if you don't know what we're dealing with –but can you think of any reason why a song featuring two sexy poster girls the likes of Nicole Scherzinger and Keri Hilson would have a video in which the girls' faces are covered in... ski masks?I mean, for once, a video is supposed to be about visually backing and enhancing a track – and in my humble opinion, I'd fire the director and shoot a new video. It took me a long time before I realized that...
More About: Kelly , Sexing

Leave Jessica Simpson's Boobs Alone!!!
2008-01-17 17:02:00
I tell you, where is Chrissy Crocker when you need... um, him? Someone, quick, give me the number of this champion, this brave (fe)male defender of all celebrities in distress! We need an intervention! This is an emergency, y'all – and we don't have the time to make fun of such serious issues. We need a new clip from Chrissy, and we need it now.OK, I was joking – I really was – the world really doesn't want or even remotely need anything from that pompously disturbed pre-pubescent pseudo-gay disaster, but as I was reading up and doing a little bit of research for this Jessica -gate scandal that seems to be in full swing at the moment, I couldn't help myself thinking back at the whole "Leave Britney alone" rage that boosted Crocker's profile enough for... him, I guess... to enjoy his 15 minutes of fame – which, by the way, have long been over. And I really find it funny that no one caught on and developed this idea in Jessica's case as well. Yet.In case you've just flow...

Oh, Joy: Britney Has S*x in Public. Again...
2008-01-17 16:59:00
Now, what was I telling you about Britney not being short-listed for any "mother of the year" award some time soon? It seems that losing her kids and having everyone believe she's a deluded, mentally ill sociopath is the least of her concerns – and she's much more interested in acting crazy and defying any and all limits of decency and common sense. Why am I saying that? Well, come on, do you really need to ask? OK, if you must know, before she decided that paparazzi attention "scares" her and bailed on Monday's custody hearing, Britney decided it was time to give us all a lesson about channeling your inner wild side... and so she ended up having sex in the dressing room of a clothes shop. Can you spell "classy"?I mean yes, I know we've already seen pretty much every part of Britney we ever wanted to see and especially those parts of her that were never meant to see the light of day in public – but I think her latest sexploit hits a new low – and since we're talking about...
More About: Public

Sexy Vanessa Hudgens Pulls a Britney
2008-01-17 16:52:00
Vanessa Hudgens has never exactly been my favorite star, at least not before the whole naked photos scandal hit last year. But now I have to confess I have developed a rather unlikely interest in this Disney chick who at the fragile age of only 16 had enough ingenuity and brains to realize that snapping photos of herself in the nude was the best way to catch a guy's attention. That much intuition at such an early age sure means we have a lot to expect from her, and I'm keeping an eye out for more photos and why not – even an innocent tape she might have made for an "audition" at some point in her early life.Trouble with Vanessa is that, due to her naked photos now floating around readily available (just tap her name into any image search engine and see what happens), it's quite obvious that this lovely... teen (?) has pretty much made that painstaking crossing from sweet innocence to glorified sex object that most successful young stars struggle to do in one giant leap. Think o...
More About: Sexy , Britney , Vanessa Hudgens , Vanessa

Katherine Heigl Actually Has S*x???
2008-01-17 16:48:00
Now who would ever have imagined... Katherine Heigl actually doesn't mind talking about her sex life. Wait – does that mean the "Knocked Up" actress actually has sex? Now there's news... who would have thought there was a real vagina underneath all the "look at me, I'm such a feminist" attitude and occasionally annoying comments? I mean, don't get me wrong – I have absolutely nothing against feminism, and I agree there are a lot of sexist movies out there which offer a not-so-flattering portraying of women – but I do have something against celebrity hypocrisy. And yes, I believe it's quite strange, actually, to star in a movie, be paid for it (and we're not talking a couple of grands here) and then start criticizing it. I mean, if you're an actress and you have to invest so much of yourself in a movie that makes you feel uncomfortable as a woman, you can always back out of it.But I suppose life looks a little different when you've got a couple extra millions in your po...

Paris Hilton Wants to Have S*x with You! And You...
2008-01-17 16:45:00
I always knew that Paris was one of the very few true Hollywood ladies out there, and now finally I can confirm it with more than just photos of her wearing strange... I mean, eccentric and stylish outfits, and snippets of Paris pretending to be smart and doing interviews with celebrity magazines. Now there's visual proof that not only is Paris classy as hell, if you'll pardon my rude language, but she's also extremely fond of using certain words and expressions that some of us (with rather delicate ears and too much common sense) may find offensive – but which only serve to... er, highlight her personal charm. In even more shocking news, Paris – who is usually very shy when it comes to public displays of affection – decided that it's high time she changed her rather self-conscious attitude towards sex and started sharing her fantasies with the world at large.I think that deep down inside Paris is extremely jealous. She resents Britney for being in the spotlight non stop f...
More About: Paris Hilton , Hilton

Britney Vows to Kill Herself
2008-01-17 16:41:00
Things are apparently getting more and more desperate in the Britney universe. The trouble is popwreck is slowly plunging into madness, losing track of her own actions and threatening to kill herself rather than allow her concerned family to commit her to a mental hospital, where she could maybe get all the help she needs. "They're not sending me to the nut house" she reportedly shouted at a friend to whom she was speaking via her mobile phone, while driving in Los Angeles and being pursued by the usual horde of paparazzi. "No one can make me go if I don't want to go, and I ain't goin'" she added, while her speeding car ran a red light. "See that? I just went through another stop sign! See what you made me do? I'm gonna hurt someone out here! I'll kill myself before I let them lock me up again. So tell Mama and Daddy I said so!" the singer apparently yelled into her mobile phone before hanging up.This desperate phone call seems to capture the very essence of Britney's life in...
More About: Kill , Vows

Vivica Fox S*x Tape Update
2008-01-17 16:36:00
Remember the whole Vivica Fox sex tape scandal? It was pretty hot news a couple of weeks ago, back when we didn't have crazy Britney on our hands 24 hours a day. In case you forgot the finer details, the story was that Vivica was apparently caught on tape while she was performing oral sex on an unknown man in Atlanta. Vivica was reportedly drunk at the time and didn't realize that the guy in question was in fact taping her using a camera phone. The tape was leaked on the Internet in a very "original" way: the guy who taped Vivica reportedly decided to email the video to all his friends and make them all jealous about his secret recording skills – and some of those friends were apparently just as discrete, thoughtful and classy as he was. The fact is, it was reported that finally a copy of the tape reached Vivica herself, who was quick to alert the police and tried with all her might to have it removed from the Internet.In fact, Vivica did a lot more than that: she decided to go ...
More About: Update

What a Turn-Off: Paris and Her Man-Hunter Gear
2008-01-17 16:21:00
I have a feeling someone needs a reality check, fast. And no, I'm not talking about Britney this time. You'd be surprised to learn that even though no other celebrity is currently wearing her wedding dress while going out shopping for cars, there are people out there – read that celebrities – who still have it in them to shock us into oblivion. The fact is, Paris Hilton doesn't even need to try that hard – a touch of hideous lipstick here, a sequined dress there, add a glittering headband and a pout and we're all set. I have no idea who told Paris the 1920's 'do makes her look good, but they deserve a slap in the face. Either that, or Paris should stop taking fashion advice from the boy who stacks the "fresh fruit" shelves at her local supermarket. Have a look at what Paris wore to a party this weekend – and wonder.First of all, I really feel like a fool thinking that so many years as a socialite and party girl taught Paris a trick or two about make-up do's and dont'...
More About: Hunter , Gear , Turn

Everybody Hates Jessica Simpson
2008-01-17 16:17:00
It's always funny to see celebrities who absolutely adore the spotlight being trashed for nothing in particulars. OK, that sounded really mean – what I meant to say was that I love seeing really annoying celebrities like, say, Jessica Simpson – who we know loves to be the center of attention and believes the sun revolves around her blonde self – get into trouble simply for being herself. Let me give you a quick reminder – Jessica is currently dating Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and apparently she's quite jinxing the poor guy's career, so badly in fact that she has been told in various tones (ranging from nice to nasty) that she needs to stay away from him and the Cowboys stadium or else face the consequences. And since Jessica's career is in free fall anyway, she definitely doesn't need any more bad press at the moment.But the even funnier part is that the Simpson jinx seems to be spreading, and the consequence is that other celebrities with better voices and mu...
More About: Everybody

Jessica "The Jinx" Simpson Slips a Nipple and Ruins a Life
2008-01-17 10:47:00
It's good that amid all this Britney madness we can occasionally catch a glimpse of someone else's boobs... I mean, we can occasionally have a laugh thinking about the unfortunate exploits of some other celebrity out there except the troubled popwreck. So, be nice and say "hello" to Jessica Simpson , her nipple and the overall disasters that this lovely girl somehow manages to bring to this planet. Well, no need to comment on the boobs – you can pretty much enjoy that all on your own – OK, maybe we can gossip about them just a little bit, but that's not the big shocker.The shocker is that Jessica will probably never be able to show her lovely face in Texas again, after the Dallas Cowboys lost to the New York Giants and were consequently kicked out of the playoffs. I guess the Jessica jinx is still going strong, then, because in case you forgot, the failed actress and struggling singer is still dating Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, and was already held accountable for Romo's w...
More About: Life , Ruins