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Biggest PJ Ever
2008-04-30 08:37:00 One day a man comes out of the Bank and hires an Auto for his home.The auto-driver charged him 100 rs, which is far far larger than theactual charge, that is 10 rs. The man doesn't know the actual charge andpaid the money.Now, the mystry begins from the very next morning when the manawakes.Suddenly he feels that it's still dark outside and the sun hasn't yetshown its face. But soon he realise that it's not the case of sun buthe'sactually is not able to see. In short he's blind. He gets verytensed doesn't know what to do. His entire day has passed with greatanxiety,proceeds, the man gradually starts regaining his eyesightand he once again normal when it's completely dark out side. At this he iscompletely confused and perplexed. He's very eager to know what'sthe behind, but finds not a single proper reason for this., can you help him to find out the reason behind his suddenblindness??a bit a bit moresocho socho it's very simple give one more try hit your ...
Ten Dollars Is Ten Dollars
2008-04-30 08:34:00 Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, “Edna, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year Edna would say, “I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, “Edna, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance.” Edna replied, “Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.” Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Fred, ... More About: Dollars
Funny Questions,Wierd Answers.
2008-04-02 08:15:00 Top 10 stupid questions people usually ask in obvi1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...2. In the bus:A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't youtry again.3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask...Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiterStupid Question:-Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. Weoccassionaly also spit in it.5. At a family get-together:When some distant aunt meets you after yearsStupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...Stupid ... More About: Funny , Fun , Entertainment , Questions , Answers
Smart Students
2008-04-02 08:10:00 President Bush went to a school to interact with the children. After havingone brief talk with the children he asked them if they had any question toask him.One boy raised his hand and stood up;Bush: whats your nameJohn: johnBush: whats your question?John: Sir, I have three questions1) Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?2) Where is osama?3) Why does America support Pakistan so much?Bush: you are an intelligent student John....(just then the bell for recessrang)Oh! Dear students we will continue after the recess is over.After the recessBush: ok children where were we?Yes, so anybody wants to ask any question?Peter raises his handBush :Whats your name?Peter : Sir,I am Peter. I have 5 questions.1) Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?2) Where is osama?3) Why do America support Pakistan so much?4) Why did recess bell rang 20 mins before the scheduled time?5) Where is JOHN? More About: Fun , Stories , Students , Smart
12-things-your-cv-should-not-have
2008-03-18 11:07:00 Colorful or glossy paper and flashy fontsYour CV is a formal, official document. Keep it simple.~ Resume or CV at the top Many people tend to add headings to their CV. The usual are CV, Curriculum Vitae and Resume. Do not do this.~ Photographs until askedDo not add your photo to the CV until you have been asked for it. Photographs are required only for certain types of positions like models, actors etc.~ Usage of 'I', 'My', 'He', 'She'Do not use these in your CV. Many candidates write, 'I worked as Team Leader for XYZ Company' or 'He was awarded Best Employee for the year 2007'. Instead use bullet points to list out your qualifications/ experience like: Team leader for XYZ Company from 2006-2007.~ Spelling mistakes and grammatical errorsProofread your CV until you are confident that it doesn't have any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. These are big put-offs for the recruiters. Moreover, sometimes these mistakes might land you in an embarrassing sit... More About: Information , Stuff , Things
Have A Look, Think Positive
2008-03-18 06:57:00 If you think you have huge tension, look at them if you think your job is tough, how about him?if you think your salary is low, how about her? If you think you don't have many friends, ask yourself if you have one sincere friendyou think study is a burden, how about her?when you feel like giving up, think of this manif you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does?if you complaint about your transport system, how about them?if your society is unfair to you, how about her? More About: Picture , Positive
10 things you don?t like to hear during surgery
2008-03-18 06:56:00 I?ve just recently had a surgery for my right hand and I know how scary it feels just thinking about going under the knife. I had a good laugh reading this joke today. But seriously - these are 10 things that I surely don?t want to hear my doctor say?* Has anyone seen my watch?* Come back with that! Bad Dog!* Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what?s that?* Hand me that? uh? thingy over there.* What do you mean he wasn?t in for a sex change!* Damn, there go the lights again?* Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!* What do you mean, he?s not insured?* Let?s hurry, I don?t want to miss ?Bay Watch?And the number one thing I don?t want to her my doctor say during surgery?* Oops! More About: Fun , Entertainment , Hear , Surgery , Things
Intresting Facts
2008-03-08 12:33:00 Saturday mail delivery, in Canada, was eliminated, by Canada Post, on February 1, 1969! In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car; for most trips of less than 50 minutes! There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackers cookie zoo! Should there be a crash, Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane; as a precaution! Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second! The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache, on a standard playing card! There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos! There is one slot machine, in Las Vegas, for every eight inhabitants! The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion, in Renaissance Florence, to shave them off! Every day, 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500! The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad! Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces, after eating! Tou... More About: Facts
Stupid Question & Sharp Answer
2008-03-08 12:31:00 BOY : May I hold your hand?GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy. GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!BOY : You love me... GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.BOY : Don't you ever want to improve?? BOY : I love you and I could die for you!GIRL : How soon?? BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?? SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. MAN : You remind me of the sea.WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?MAN : NO, because you make me sick. WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. MARY : John says I... More About: Question , Answer , Stupid , Sharp
Conversation between Husband & Wife who are in Computer Field.
2008-02-27 11:32:00 This is a conversation between Husband & Wife who are in Computer Field .HUSBAND: Hi Dear, I am logged in.WIFE: Would you like to have some snacks?HUSBAND: Hard disk full.WIFE: Have you brought the saree?HUSBAND: Bad command or file name.WIFE: But I told you about it in the morning!HUSBAND: Syntax error, abort, retry, cancel.WIFE: HAE BHAGAWAN! Forget it, where's your salary?HUSBAND: File in use, read only. try after some time.WIFE: Atleast give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.HUSBAND: Sharing violation, access denied.WIFE: I made a mistake in marrying you!HUSBAND: Data type mismatch.WIFE: You are useless!HUSBAND: By default.WIFE: Who was there with you in the car this morning?HUSBAND: System unstable. Press ctrl, alt, del to reboot.WIFE: What is my value in your life?HUSBAND: Unknown virus detected.WIFE: Do you love me or your computer?!HUSBAND: Too many parameters.WIFE: I will go to my dad's house!HUSBAND: Program performed illegal operation, it will c... More About: Conversation
Go by your doctor's advice :-))
2008-02-27 11:23:00 (1Smoke Once a Day ... !!!(2) Take just One Glass of Alcohol a Day !!! More About: Advice
Sleeping Might Be Harmfull Sometimes
2008-02-27 11:17:00 A wife awoke early one morning to the sounds of her husband angrily bangingaround pots and pans in the kitchens.When she goes downstairs, she sees that he is looking for something to eatbut, more importantly, is very upset about something."What's the problem, darling? Didn't your program work?""It worked. I wrote that code until the wee hours of the morning, and itworked!""Then what's the matter? Where there are a lot of bugs in it?""I took special pains to eliminate the bugs. It worked, and it workedperfectly!""So what's wrong?""I was so tired when I finished, I decided to take a little nap, just for afew minutes.""Did you not sleep well? Did you have a nightmare?" the concerned wifeinquired."No, I slept perfectly well ... with my head on the backspace key." More About: Sleeping
Nine Words Women Use
2008-02-27 11:03:00 1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay f... More About: Women , Words
How to marry a rich guy - Fantastic reply from a financial person
2008-02-26 07:07:00 A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?I'm going to be honest of what I' m going to say here.I' m 25 this year.I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.You might say that I 'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.My requirement is not high.Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary?Are you all married?I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ), $250k annualincome is not enough.I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)2) Which age group should I t... More About: Rich , Financial , Person , Marry
From a standpoint of separating fools from their money, it’s probably a f
2008-02-26 06:55:00 During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?”“Well, I only bet on sure things,” said the guy.“Like what?” asked the bartender.“Well, for example, I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,” he said.The bartender thought about it. “Okay,” he said.So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.... More About: Money
New words added to the English dictionary
2008-02-26 06:47:00 Bucknor : (n) (adj)1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors.Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you.Benson: (n) (adj)1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.Also see bucknorPontingity : [ pont in gi tee ]possession of firm principles: the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards !!!Usage: You cannot question my pontingity in the game.Kumble: (1) Possession of strict adherence to the gentlemanly sport of cricket,(2) extreme self-righteousness and pomposityEg. “Only one side was playing Kumble in this match”& “India always plays Kumble because we are so Kumble.”Harbhajan: The combined medical conditions of myopia and memory loss Eg. “I thought he was a monkey not a man and I forgot that I... More About: Words , English , Dictionary
Take a pic of you from your monitor screen
2008-02-26 05:38:00 HieZz,Hope dat you will be fyn.just log on towww.monitorcamera.comTHANX..... waiting 4 comments More About: Screen , Monitor
Funny Accident Report Form
2008-02-20 08:00:00 Trying To Do The Job Alone ...one of the greatest comic texts of all time... If you laugh, you have to tell a friend about this site. Don't forget!Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put "trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient: I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and unti... More About: Funny , Report , Accident , Form
Real 911 calls
2008-02-15 07:14:00 Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency? Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich. Dispatcher: Excuse me? Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it. Dispatcher: Was anything else taken? Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!Dispatcher: 911 Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing... More About: Fun , Stories , Free , Calls , Real
Run
2008-02-15 07:10:00 I was teaching a very basic class in BASIC programming to a group of adults. Adults who have never been around computers before are very nervous and much harder to teach than children, however I am a patient person so I enjoy their successes. However, I must share the following:After putting a short program on the board, I told the students to type "R," "U," "N" and press return to see the program execute. A hand went up in the back of the room, waving to get my attention, and the person attached to the hand said, "I did what you said and it didn't work." Knowing full-well that all of us make mistakes when typing at the computer, I suggested she retype "R," "U," "N" and press return.A few seconds later, the lady's hand goes up again. "It still doesn't work," she said.So... I went back to see what the problem was ... only to find that instead of typing RUN, she had typed in the following: ARE YOU IN ! More About: Fun , Stories , Free
Technical support
2008-02-15 07:08:00 I worked in technical support at Silicon Graphics about a year ago, and I was part of the group that was first in line to handle problem calls. Oh, joy. Being only eighteen at the time, my experience in the field of technical support was somewhat limited, but I could still handle my own.Now, as you may or may not know, SGI sells top of the line computers used in many different industries. On average, they're about three times as expensive as personal PCs and are meant to be used by professionals in the industries they're used in.Anyway, the following call came in:Customer: "I just received an Onyx yesterday, and I tried to set it up today and it doesn't work." Tech Support : "It just doesn't boot up?" Customer: "It doesn't even turn on. I see nothing on the screen, and the fan doesn't even turn on in the back of the system." Tech Support: "Is the monitor functioning? Is there a little green light in the lower right corner of the monitor?" Customer: "Yes, there is." Tech Support... More About: Fun , Stories , Technical , Free
Their sons
2008-02-15 07:07:00 These 4 pals go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. "My son BIll," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "George is so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."The third man's son, Albert, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in."To tell the truth, I'... More About: Fun , Stories , Free , Sons
Rolls Royce Loan
2008-02-15 07:05:00 A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $7,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $7,000 and the interest, which comes to $19.67.The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little confused. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What confuses us is why would you bother to borrow $7,000?"The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $... More About: Fun , Stories , Free , Loan
Zoo Job
2008-02-15 07:03:00 One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a par... More About: Fun , Stories , Free
Radio conversation
2008-02-15 07:02:00 This is supposed to be the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.- Please change your direction 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.- Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.- This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.- No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.- THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!- This is a lighthouse. Your call. More About: Fun , Stories , Free , Conversation
Alligators In The Pool
2008-02-15 07:00:00 A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!" Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.The flabbergaste... More About: Fun , Stories , Free , Pool
Smart student
2008-02-15 06:59:00 The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.A 'smart' student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look."Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand." More About: Fun , Stories , Student , Free , Smart
Recovering thinker
2008-02-15 06:56:00 It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read writings of Plato, Saint Augustine of Hippo, Jesus Christ, and Aristotle. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thin... More About: Fun , Stories , Free , Thinker
Medical problem
2008-02-15 06:55:00 An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?""Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!" More About: Fun , Medical , Stories , Free , Problem
Catch a rabbit
More articles from this author:2008-02-15 06:54:00 The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.The FBI goes in.After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.The LAPD goes in.They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" More About: Fun , Stories , Free , Catch 1, 2 |
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