The Ups & Downs of Life

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Top 10 Most Irritating Things A Customer Can Do
2009-03-12 02:36:00
Top 10 Most Irritating Things A Customer Can Do - 10.) Name drop, ?I know the owner, manager, etc...?9.) Expect me to steal, break rules just because you are too cheap to order another shot, add-on etc8.) Race me for refills of mixers, start chugging the minute I come by with the pitcher, or remind me you need a refill when I am standing there refilling someone else!7.) Hold your table for another half hour because you're held up but you're on the way and then expect me to drop everything I?m doing to take care of you because since your party showed up late you just want to drink and be merry NOW.6.) Expect me to wait for you to get off your cell phone just so you can place an order.5.) ?They did it for me last time.? Thats last time and who's they?4.) Demanding seperate checks when you had the same thing. Whats the difference?3.) The prick that orders ?Iced water with lemon slice all around...? then nobody drinks it. Iced water with a lemon slice in a rock glass is not the same ...

Run Baby Run
2009-03-10 11:08:00
I finally went for a run today.After 8 months of being diagnosed as physically unfit to do any physical exercise, I finally run laps today. Mind you, if this was the Olympics it would technically be called brisk walking. I came back from SGH today and my dear Doc Devanand finally declared it OKAY for me to do brisk walking. I could barely contain my glee. Sure I'm still pathetically asthmatic but as long as I keep it light and easy and off course carry my inhaler wherever I go - it should be relatively all right for me.I've been itching to run for months. Itching to climb. Itching to play squash and tennis. Lately all I do is eat, work, sleep & dream. Nothing more than that.Off course on the other hand being unfit leaves you pretty much with nothing. 8 months ago I was having the worse time of my life. I was wheezing non-stop and was not recovering. Crocodile meat, bamboo soup, eel's saliva - I tried it all to no wonders. 2 months later I found out why. I have Hashimoto's th...
More About: Baby

Just Had About Enuf
2009-03-10 10:16:00
standing at the weighing scale i looked at the nurse. not once. thrice.she smiled wanely as if afraid that i would attacked her.i almost did.restraining myself, i took the piece of paper from her and muttered ,"...the machine's spoilt. you should get a technician up here..."at 1.65m tall, i'm 66kg.definately-oh-definately overweight.

Its Goodbye. For Sure.
2009-03-07 23:00:00
i've finally tendered.finally gave my letter, with effect on 1st of march. my last day should somehow be on the 31st of march. i'm trying to minimise my shifts as often and allowed the transition to go through smoothly. as if to re-instate the fact that i'm leaving i told the whole of my clientele network that i'm leaving. just so that nobody would stop me. just so that i could leave in peace.finally something stamped its final approval for me to leave. a mark. a sign.i guess its finally time to say goodbye.
More About: Goodbye

Let's Take A Step... In A Different Direction...
2009-02-26 00:06:00
You can't change the past. You can re-write it for your own convenience, you can re-tell it so it sounds better, feels better, seems better... so that you are the hero of the piece and not a bona fide bastard. But you can't change the events. If you made a pass at someone, you made that pass at them. Telling them it didn't happen won't change the fact that you did. If you shagged around, you shagged around. Pretending you're as pure as the driven snow isn't going to change that that. For that matter, you can't change the future. All you can change is the here and now. That's why people are always banging on about living in the moment because that's the only thing you have control over...I can safely say that I hate losing control over myself. I know I don't enjoy it when that happens, mostly because I end up feeling helpless and vulnerable. I end up hating myself and wondering when can I start moving forward and regain that sense of control back into my life.I'm preparing...
More About: Step , Direction

Its Just A Matter Of Time
2009-02-24 22:45:00
i know i want to do it, i'm just not sure when's the right time for me to do it. i've been contemplating this decision for months. i've been trying to leave the place for ages but to no success, and then suddently withing matter of days i'm trying my darnest to get out there. i imagined what it would be like when i'm 30 and i'm still clocking unearthly hours, and still cheering shots after shots of chivas feeling the hot liquid sliding down my throat.frankly it doesn't look flattering to me at all.
More About: Time , Matter

Blackest Kind Of Blasphemy
2009-02-23 05:11:00
and here's what i do one of my long entry to make up for whatever times i've been missing. its probably going to be a bitching session (...as always) but you guys love it anyway.dugong's going back to work on 1st march. he's going to be with exxonmobil, the condo's rent out so we're done. my worries are pretty much over. at least i know he's going to be all right and i wont have to fret about him much further. between the two of us its heading somewhere, i'm just not sure where. at times we have this amazing connection between us and yet sometimes it feels like we're tuning each other out. is this what a real relationship suppose to feel like? you have your good days you have your bad days. i'm suppose to be adjusting to it somehow but i'm just not sure how to. i have days where at times i'm like the master of relationship woes, where people can pour out their troubles to me, and yet i have days where i'm a total emotional klutz. exactly where do i stand? 27 years later...
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L-I-S-T-E-N. Is That Also Too Much To Ask?
2009-02-21 01:20:00
it has been a long time since i last write and i know i have missed out stories after stories that right now if you were to plead me to tell i would not know where to begin.i do know however that right now i'm pissed.super pissed.and it doesnt help that dugong turns to me and give me that mocking look. i'm not amused. i didnt ask for sympathy. all i ask is that he listen when i whine about how much i hate my job thats all. its a no-brainer, nothing difficult.even that is way too much to ask.go figured.

Guilt Ridden All The Way
2008-12-08 12:41:00
i'm having a guilt trip.i kinda think dugong's upset with me and stuff, it just makes me feel worse and somehow it makes me question myself. i'm thinking that if i dont make a good girlfriend now, whatever makes me think i would make a good wife? its misery for me after that.it all begin at his home a couple of days back. i was already worried about our finance situation but he didnt seems to be affected by the whole thing that i kinda let it passed. i figured i'm always the worrying kind and maybe for once i should just it let go. i settled his resumes and send out some to various companies, and then i look through the papers for more. but it did bothered me slightly that he didnt seem interested. but heck - i thought he'll picked up where he left off soon enough.and then elly told me that she still haven got her schoolbooks, which makes it slightly worse, i offered to get it but he says later not now. i just nodded quietly.and when he told me he was broke, i started thinking....
More About: Guilt

Short Notes
2008-12-05 04:51:00
i've been meaning to blog for a while now, but i've been busy falling sick that i couldnt find the time to blog. it hasn't been an easy time for me. with asthma getting worse by the day, it sometimes terrifies me. what if one day i were to wake up unable to breathe and there would be no help whatsoever nearby? what if i could not find my salbutamol inhaler in time? would i be known as the infamous blogger who died from her acute asthma?work has relatively been the same, not that there were many changes initially either. we have a new guest relation manager, Sha who's main job would relatively be to PR with guests and ensure that MV sales goes up. not that i think he's worse for wear but i seriously do find him rather jaded, as if he has worked way too long in this line and now goes through it like a monotonous journey. i pity him. while others find joy in doing what they're doing, he's just randomly going through it just to ensure a paycheck at the end of the month. if you as...
More About: Notes , Short

You Had Me At 'Hello'
2008-12-04 11:34:00
Ayang...I was reading the newspaper after you left when I stumbled on the cover story of the Puhaindrans. She was executed in the terrorist attack in Mumbai, and the love story that entralled the world was publicised for the world to know and feel.She was the light of her husband's eyes, just as you are the light of mine.I teared as I read the article. I imagined what it would be like if I were to lose you in such a tragic way, or any other ways, what would my life be? I supposed one would just tell me to move on, and that life simply carries on the way it was before, but I know otherwise. I know that if you were to leave me or taken away from me I know that my life would be empty and meaningless, and the one reason that inspires me to live would no longer be there. I know that while the sun may continues to rise from the east and sets in the west, the colours of the kalesidescope there would no longer interest or fascinate me.I remembered the first time I met you, there was nothin...

Despues De Ti Que
2008-11-11 22:05:00
Despues De Ti - Cristian CastroAfter the stormcalm reignafter each dayThe night arrived...After a day of rainThe sun leansand after you, what?After every momentThe world revolvedafter each yearmore time is going ...After a good friendfind another friendand after you, what?After you nothingneither sun nor amnor rain nor stormneither friends nor hopeAfter you nothingThere is no life in the soulsolace or peace to meNothing if your faultsAfter takingalways have to come backafter having wantedtry againAfter what livedThere is always an afterand after you, what?After you nothingneither sun nor amnor rain nor stormneither friends nor hopeAfter you nothingor life in the soulsolace or peace to menothing if your faultsAfter you... What's next?

Won't Let You Fall - Fergie
2008-11-11 20:13:00
I'll never let you goSo, never let me goI will be your journeyAnd you will be my roadDown the stormy pathLove will never come to passIt will be an anchorAlthough the winds may blowAnd through the depths of high and lowWherever you will go, I'll followTo the end, back againYou knowWon't let you fallFall out of love'Cause together we'll be holding on'Cause all we have is usWon't let you goGo away againBecause life don't mean nothing at allIf I don't have your loveI will dry your tearsTake away your fearsLet me be your shelterYour heart is safe in hereSo beautiful and pureThere's nothing I would not endureOh, love as got me blindedI see it all so clearI'm down for you for whateverAnything you going throughWhat's mine is yoursEvery little thingI got youEven when winds will changeCome smashing down and crashing on you
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Potty Mouth Zero Value
2008-11-07 08:17:00
i'm super indignant.the fact that you would and could even think that me donning a jacket for a day would make me deem myself as the outlet manager. the thought never crossed my mind, never even creep up, the mere idea did not even manage to enter this dark labyrinth mind of mine.but somehow the idea did cross your mind.and i'm indignant that you would even think so.i didnt put on a jacket because i wanted to know how it would feel like wearing a jacket. i wore one that day because i was cold. nothing more than that but you seem to have the idea that i wore one and parade the idea that i was a manager, when in truth i didnt...but neither did you bother to find out, rather you blab your way through saying that i did.heck its not a big deal not being able to wear one, and you wanna know why?because whether i'm wearing a vest or a jacket, i still command the ship without having to scream at the top of my lungs.which you my dear girl, have a huge problem doing...
More About: Mouth

Could I Have Maple Syrup At The Side Please?
2008-11-04 23:04:00
its been a realy hectic week recently. with the many events going on in my life i could barely even keep up with the time. nowadays i just go through the motions through my life without even glancing at the time. somehow everytime i look at the damn clock, i know i would need to rush and then a whole new cycle begins - somehow if i dont look at the clock i guess i could pretend that i still have a little bit more of time to spare.i wish. its been rushing here rushing there and dugong has been accomodating my every request, and i so love him for that. he's going for a job interview on monday, and i'm kinda excited for him. afterall he's been on this sabbatical break way too long if you ask me, so a job with a new environment, new friends would be good for him, plus a bit of work would keep the brain cells running. not that fantastic for me, since that means he wont be there for me all the time but on the other hand it does mean a little bit of extra time for myself.it was hallowee...
More About: Maple Syrup , Side , Maple

The Fire And Passion In Me
2008-10-29 22:37:00
at times i wonder, if everything had fallen in place as what it was supposed to be, would i be sitting here writing about the turmoils of my life and pondering if i had taken the right steps to my happiness. recently the chain of events that occured in my life had made me question my faith, not in my religion, but in my love life.for a while there i thought i was contented and that i thought i was happy being second best, i thought that if i were to loko up and look into dugong's eyes, everything would just fall right in place and then i know that i'm finally at peace with myself...but recently, faith being challenged i begin to question myself. i begin to wonder if i am truly contented, i begin to wonder if i were to lose dugong would i be devestated or would it just be another 'beep' in my life and then i would move on again. would i fall onto my knees and cry at the loss? would i even actually feel the loss in my life? would i actually even feel it?i have been happy for as lo...
More About: Passion , Fire

Setitik Tangisan
2008-10-11 10:09:00
aku tak cemburu. tak marah. cuma sedih sahaja...rasa nya hampa bila tahu kau tak akan menyayangi aku sebagaimana kau pernah menyayangi isterimu...aku tak rasa iri hati... seperti aku katakan... aku cuma sedih sahaja...

From being "in a relationship" to "engaged"...
2008-10-08 09:30:00
i'm engaged! lolz. well not really officially but sorta and not that it feels any stranger than usual. load up the raya photos and then next thing i know i have tons of people asking me if we're engaged. i asked dugong what should i reply and then the next thing i KNOW he also said yes we are. pretty much i'm the last one to know anything. even when its about myself. sigh...so here i am...engaged...
More About: Engaged , Relationship

Same Old Story
2008-09-30 07:14:00
i dont know how many times i can repeat this story before someone finally gets sick of it, but seriously i think i've always known why i'm not a big fan of family nor marriage.i have a dysfunctional family.i have abandonment issues. (...because of my dysfunctional family.)i have securities issues. (...this one because of a dysfunctional ex.)simple as that.
More About: Story

A Hundred Acre Of Pain
2008-09-26 14:40:00
ok its official.he's not in love with me.all i did...was to spun around and ask him why does he love me?and when he fumbled, stumbled, and could barely mumbled an answer...thats when i know...he's not in love with me.
More About: Pain

Swoon Me Over... With Onions...
2008-09-25 19:40:00
literally...maybe its the new year coming. (...for muslims that is...) but i'm depressed. its like nowadays he really doesnt seem to care about my existence anymore. maybe its true what they said. you spent way T-O-O much time together and he's probably sick and tired of my presense already. oh gosh. imagine that. you can actually get sick and tired of someone . and thats even before you got married. and we're not even engaged. thats right ladies and gentlemen. my dugong is sick and tired of me. already. i'm totally invisible to him. i spent the whole night cleaning up his room, fixing his internet connections and get this - i actually had to ask for a kiss as a reward. whatever happens to kissing me often enough? i guess fairy-tales do end. the best part? i love this man. its just that he's making me depressed right now. if its going to be that way - as in he's not going to love me anymore...then i wish he would stop now. so at least i can make a move and leave. its depressin...
More About: Onions

Pies... Cookies... Cakes... Yes Ma'am I Believe I Do Indulge In A Lil' Swee
2008-09-25 02:12:00
i like to think that i'm house trained. when in truth i'm not. i have to be trained to be house trained and one thing's for sure i'm not house trained. well to a certain extent i am but just not completely trained. i got pissed off today and for a moment there i missed home, not that i'm away for an extremely LONG time. just that i missed home. i guess there are certain things that you can do and get away with and not expect to clean up after someone.i'm not complaining. really i'm not.i'm just whining. i'm beginning to think that maybe he doesnt love 'love' me but merely love 'like' me, and somehow i sort of think that maybe he is already sick and tired of my presense 24 HOURS around him. heck i know i would get sick and tired if i had to face myself for 24 hours, what more him? the thing is, i enjoy doing stuff for him, and i love cooking for him (...albeit my cooking has been slightly off lately, but honestly blame the damn cat!), i love watching his face ooze with c...
More About: Cookies , Cakes , Pies

The Many Changes
2008-09-23 18:02:00
recently because of the weakness in my health i was given almost 10 days of medical leave which as not many can see, i have lived out every single second. because i was unwell, i was force to recuperate at home. well not really my home, but more of dugong's home and i've been here for almost every single day.believe me - i'm not complaining.its just that i think i've changed, and how from someone who rather choose career over love, i am actually willing to settle down and trade alot of things for him. for example, i'm actually willing to cook, serve him snacks, make for him coffee or etea (...pending on his moods), massage him, cuddle up in front of the tv screen with him. things which i can tell you are stuff that i rather never do than to even attempt to do. sure i've always enjoyed cooking, and camp out in front of the tv screen but thats like a what? maybe a once in a blue moon kind of stuff. but here i am doing it almost everyday. and oh god. i love it.recently i told him...

Despite The Many Woes...
2008-09-21 14:23:00
you wanna know how i know that i love you?despite the fact that you manage to piss me off majorly, and despite the fact that i am tempted to polish you off with an ak-47, when people asked me what i think of you...i replied..."...he's fantastic and i'm still oh-so-in-love with him..."i dont know if you feel the same way as i do. well...i'm praying and hoping and wishing that you are, and perhaps more but somehow at times i get this strange feeling that perhaps and maybe you just dont feel as strongly as i do. like when i'm really sick and you dont seem to be affected or when i'm upset and you could just turn a blind eye to me.and yet despite the many flaws that you display to me, somehow in this scattered brain of mine, i chose to only see the good side, and oddly enough, i dont stay mad for long when it comes to you.and when you kissed me...i could just melt into your arms and feel the many pressures and worries disappeared. its like you have this stupid key that makes everyth...

Breathe Easy... For Now...
2008-09-18 18:46:00
i couldn't breathe. for a while there it felt as if my life had just passed by. in a flash, i saw so many things that i know i could never do anymore. it felt as if someone was taking a knife and stabbing my chest. time after time. and no matter how much i pleaded and begged, the senseless stabbings just would not stop. i actually prayed for death, and when i finally slipped into a deep sleep, mercifully the pain stopped. for a while. he was worried. i could see it in his eyes. and guilt, knowing that he cannot do anything to relieve the pain. i wished i could say something to make it more easier for him, but what do you tell someone when in truth the pain in you was so great that you are wishing for death? i could walk normally, see clearly, but the pain was blinding my thoughts. i couldn't think nor arrange my thoughts as normally as i could. you know what scared me most? the thought that i could be suffering from lung cancer, or thyroid cancer. fortunately it was neither. just ...
More About: Easy , Breathe

Total Drama Junkie
2008-09-14 15:28:00
i'm a self confessed drama junkie.in other words, when things are all smooth sailing, i would just stamp my feet on the ground and raise a storm. just so i could ruffle all the feathers and dramatize my world. i dont know how to make peace or settle second best, and most of all i dont know how to be happy. to put it aptly - if i'm actually happy i would be lost. hence i have to kick up the storm when the dust settles.confusing?to make it simpler for the mere mortals, whenever i'm at peace with myself, or happy, or contented i would actually get bored. i would then do something just so i could feel miserable, upset or discontented, just so i can broadcast to the world that i need 'help' - pay attention to me. i have serious unresolved anger from my childhood.look at it this way. whenever i'm happy with someone, i would attempt to kill it. pick fights, start one, be in one, whatever i dont care, as long as we end up in misery. THEN i will be happy. if i'm actually contented wit...
More About: Drama , Total , Junkie

Definately Maybe
2008-09-13 08:24:00
i haven been in the best of health lately. been sick and tired and most of all i've been getting my bouts of asthma more often than last time.sometimes when i look at myself in the mirror and as the pale sickly looking one eyes back at me, it saddens me greatly. it feels as if i've lost the powerful strong princess that i use to be. nothing ever seems the same anymore and nowadays i depend alot on supplements and energy boosters to get me through my day. previously a bar of chocolate was sufficient. not that i'm trying to complain, afterall being alive is more precious than whining about having to take vitamins daily. its just that its different you know? being healthy and now burden with so many ailments.i actually tendered on wednesday. by word of mouth, and oral agreement, not written. cicak was caught off-guard but am not sure how much is she buying it actually. she probably thinks i was just joking. but i wasnt. by year end i'm leaving and i'm done. i've stuck through the...

And Suddenly...
2008-08-31 03:38:00
suddenly...one week seems so damn long. and i'm wondering how am i ever going to pull through?i'm missing you already...and now suddenly i'm hating my job...

Thank You...
2008-04-29 12:46:00
DEAR ALL, ATHENA-STARS.BLOGSPOT.COM IS FINALLY BIDDING FAREWELL. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND VIEWERSHIP ALL THIS WHILE. YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENTS AND OPINIONS WILL BE KEPT AS A CONSTANT REMINDERS ALWAYS.ITS BEEN A FANTASTIC RUN, THE UPS AS WELL AS THE DOWNS, AND I APPRECIATE EVERY SECOND THAT YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME CONSTANTLY. MAYBE SOMEDAY I'LL BE BACK TO RULE THE REALM OF BLOGGING BUT IN THE MEANTIME ITS BEST TO IT IN THE PRIVACY OF MY BRAIN. FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME SHOULD YOU HAVE ANY ENQUIRIES, ATHENA-STARS'S MODE OF CONTACT WILL STILL REMAIN THE SAMEPLEASE DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, AND LASTLY ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT IF THE ROMANCE REFUSES TO COME TO YOU, THEN YOU COME TO THE ROMANCE. FIGHT FOR IT UNTIL YOU CANNOT FIGHT ANYMORE AND THEN FINALLY WALK AWAY WITH THAT LAST BIT OF PRIDE, GRACE AND DIGNITY. *schmuax*THANK YOU.ATHENA-STARS

The Name Of This Game
2008-04-27 23:32:00
you may think i'm not responsive and that i hardly showcase my emotions. you probably even think that i'm indifferent to the things that are happening around me and that the only reason why i'm this way would probably be because i am still hung up over KJA.maybe. maybe not. i'm not sure either. just like i'm not sure whether are you over your past with your ex, and whether you genuinely wants to be with me because you like me or am i the stepping stone to get over the ex. its hard to get over the past when the past is right in your face, and i know its harder when you're so badly scarred that the last thing you want to do is to get into another relationship.i'm not ready and neither are you. one of us is expecting results immediately and i'm so hoping its not me. i know i dont want to see things to fast. did we jump the gun and expected a 'bang'? because if we did then i guess we're in for a big disappointment. i cant say that i love you when in truth i know i dont, and n...
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