The Ups & Downs of Life

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Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Me & The Car
2008-03-10 12:09:00
i seriously hate my brother, nas.really hate him. not adi nasution the younger one, but hendrik nasution, the elder one from my dad's first marriage.urgh.my dad just bought him a mitsubishi lancer for his birthday. his 30th birthday present. and the deal was that he was to fetch me from work since he normally finish work at 2 and i finish at 4. before papa bought him the car he says, "...ok papa...i will fetch ina since i finish at 2 then i send her back..." and my dad the great-believer-of-all-liars believed him. i told him no way would abang do that. but since occasionally my sister would also fetch me from work, he has no reasons to think that my brother wouldn't. let me see...my brother got his car last week wednesday. and so far he has fetched me everyday from work.BUT AT BLOODY 5AM!!!he finishes at 2, and then he would meet his stupid bimbotic girlfriend, hang out under his void deck and then only when i call and start screaming over the phone would he rush over. so i compla...

Poets Galore
2008-03-09 07:12:00
so i stood there blasting my new poem, "...satu dua kuching berlari mana nak sama si kuching belang... satu dua boleh kau mencari mana nak sama saya seorang?..."and then noche returns with, "kalau puan memancing pintu, daun dedap didalam perigi...kalau puan kata hai begitu, alangkah sedap didalam hati..."wtf.lost in translation.
More About: Poets , Galore

Its Called A Breakup Because Its Broken
2008-03-07 06:45:00
For everyone who's going through misery as I am...I really understand how you feel. Break-ups are not easy and no medication is this world could ever cure it, but time will heal it. (...at least thats what I would like to believe...)There might be plenty of books or guides that may just tell you how to get over one, but listening from first hand experience really helps. Afterall no one knows better then the one who just had dive into the sea.If you've just had a break-up and are feeling down, you're not alone. Just about everyone experiences a break-up at sometime, and many then have to deal with heartbreak ? a wave of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and maybe even jealousy all at once. Millions of poems and songs have been written about having a broken heart and wars have even been fought because of heartbreak.What Exactly Is Heartbreak?Lots of things can cause heartbreak. Some people might have had a romantic relationship that ended before they were ready. Others migh...
More About: Broken

20 More Days
2008-03-05 23:28:00
20 more days to my birthday...i wonder what surprise will it yield for me this year...whee...last year was boring. my family was away, most of my friends were on holiday and i had to spent it without a birthday cake even. i had tons of presents but no birthday cake. my parents gave money (as usual) which i would ceremoniously dump at some charity box, the gang came up with shopping vouchers, a couple of books here and there...but no birthday cake...i think its sad when you celebrate your birthday and there is no cake around. no blowing out candles, no making wishes...and most of all no smearing of cake on your nose...for as many birthdays that i could remember, there would always be cake. if its not nana, dear shereen would get one, or lydia...forget bibik aidah since she's always forgetting what kind of cakes do i prefer.durian cakes are absolutely heavenly...and so are ice cream cake. simply melts in your mouth. i hate chocolate and i absolutely detest vanilla cream cakes. horrib...
More About: Days

Dream A Little Dream
2008-03-03 18:37:00
i dreamt that you were kissing me. you were stroking my hair, peppering me with kisses. telling me that everything was ok, that everything was fine, and that everything would be back the way it used to be...and then this woman appeared. scolded me and pulled me away from you.i tried to push her away but she was so much stronger. and there you stood crying, and i wanted so much to run over to you and make things stop. but she refuse to let me go. and when i finally turn to her and asked her what she wants.she screamed, "...i'm her girlfriend! get away from her!.."i dont know why, but you just stood that crying and you didnt look happy, and i allowed that woman to pull me away from you.i woke up whimpering. picked up the phone and tried to call you but your mobile was off.mama came into the room and asked me whats wrong. i didnt answered. she just stroked my hair and said one word, "...kacang?..."and then i rolled myself into a ball and continued to cry...wtf.
More About: Dream

All On Nothing
2008-03-02 01:59:00
"...i dont want your company..."and with that you flung your pen onto your desk. i stood there for a minute wondering what else did i do wrong now. i shrugged and left the room quietly. there was no room for argument and its not like if we argue things would be better. it would remain stoic and the same.you didnt want my company, and so like a stray dog i left. hmmm...funny isn't it as i move along with my tail between my leg. afraid and unsure. i dont even know what i'm doing anymore. if you claim that this break-up is good for both of us, then why are you the only one reaping the benefits?ah...but then aren't we all selfish creatures?i'll tell you why i chose not to eat with you...simply because i left my wallet at home today. so i only have my tips money with me. was suppose to use that to take cab home, but instead you were hungry and wanted to eat so i ordered macs. your hotcakes meal plus delivery would cost almost $10 so i cant order more incase it would not be sufficient...

Tujhe Yaad Na Meri Aayee
2008-03-01 08:38:00
no need for words...

The Best Teacher
2008-03-01 02:12:00
you are a joke. how dare you tell me that you rather be friends with me then to love me and to have a bitter breakup. please stop your stupid yakking. its giving me a headache. you want to be friends?right.like we are the best of friends now. you have your new girlfriend and you expect me to be friends with you? please fuck off.yes...you are the cause of my misery now.yes...you are the reason why i carry a dark cloud over my head now.yes...you are exactly the epitome of why i never fall in love.yes...you are the root of my bitterness.you make it possible for me to not love someone. and i would like to thank you for that. if it wasnt for you i would never have found it remotely possible to not having to fall in love. but now i think otherwise. why should i care what others feel when you've taught me never to care? why should i give two hoots about a person's life when you've taught me to let go and string a person along?you are without a doubt, the best teacher i could ever have h...
More About: Teacher

Fire
2008-02-29 07:29:00
You're in my carI turn on the radioI'm pulling you closerBut you keeptellin' me noYou say youdon't like thatBut I know thatyou're a liar'Cause when we kissOoh...Fire Late at nightYou're taking me homeYou say you wanna stayBut I want you to goSay I don't love youBut you know I'm a liar'Cause when we kissOoh...FireYou had a hold on meRight from the startA grip so tight Icouldn't tear it apartMy nerves all jumpin' actin'like a foolWell my kisses might burnBut my heart stays coolWell Romeo and JulietSampson and DelilahBaby you can betThey were burnin'with desireIf I say splitThen I know thatI'd be lying'Cause when we kissOoh...FireWhen we kissI'm on fireYour tendernessGives me desireI can't resistYour tender lipsWhen we kissOoh...FireWhen we kissI'm on fireYour tendernessGives me desireI can't resistYour tender lipsWhen we kissOoh...Fire

Get A Pen Ready...
2008-02-28 12:57:00
watch it and be amazed. i thought it was damn hilarious lah...
More About: Ready

The Stupidity Of Me
2008-02-27 22:30:00
you are without a doubt the biggest jerk in this whole world and i'm sorry i didnt see it nor realise it any sooner. even when the whole world are against you, and thinks i deserve better, i fuckin stood by your side and tried my darnest to make others feel that you're worth it, that you're worth my time.i am so fuckin stupid.the stupidity of me for falling for you when i know...and knew you dont feel a thing for me...the stupidity of me for believing the best in you...the stupidity of me for thinking i could change you...the stupidity of me for having faith in us...the stupidity of me...really: without a doubt i am so fuckin stupid. and you cant even be bothered to be sorry. so i hope you're happy now. happy with your new life. with your new mon cherie.just please.stay away from me.
More About: Stupidity

Kiss Me
2008-02-27 07:43:00
he was kissing me. feverishly. intensely.he was drunk. i didnt care. all i know was that he was kissing me.maybe he mistook me for someone.i didnt want to know.he was kissing me. and thats all i need to know...
More About: Kiss

Excuse Me While I Tend To My Feelings
2008-02-25 23:29:00
i ran. and ran. and ran.but i just couldn't shake him out of my head. i tried to block him out, tried to focus on the beats of footsteps thumping against the pavement, i prayed that the rain would wash away my pain.and still i ran.and he remained a fixture in my mind.this feeling of being abandon is alien to me. the feeling cold and harsh. i feel so faraway from everyone and no amount of attention from the people around me ever seems to be enough. what am i feeling? is this love? the feeling so cold and so harsh...is this what being in love is suppose to feel? or is the feeling of total abandonment? when the love of your life has finally chosen to walk away from you without even giving you a shot in his life.the cruel twist of fate. the antoganist becoming the protaganist.i didnt went to HRC to watch kumar tonight. didnt feel like it, instead i was dragged all the way to JB to eat seafood at some boathouse. it was really lovely, by the sea and the sky was clear tonight filled with ...
More About: Tend , Excuse , Feelings

If I Come Undone... Would You Stitch Me Up Back Together?
2008-02-25 09:12:00
i had the weirdest dream ever.i think its too much sleep. plus too much blogging about the national zoo's new icon. dreamt about my b azemea, KJA, azman, lucas and nana. it all begin like this...b azemea came running to me, i was sitting enjoying coffee in a cafe. he looked angry and was screaming silently. i asked him to calm down and then he told me that he hate being a zookeeper, and then he went on and on about how the new icon was making his life a living hell. and then when i asked him who's the new icon, KJA appeared behind him asking b azemea to return to the zoo and resume his duties. "...this is the new icon! this is the new icon!.."oh god...KJA's replacing ah-meng. and then nana appeared with a pot of coffee asking if i want to refill my cup. i asked her whatever happen to her career of racing, she replied, "...i sold my bike to buy a cafe..." right. when riding's the love of her life. and then azman also appeared out of nowhere (seems like people just appear in my dr...
More About: Back , Stitch

Let Me Let Go
2008-02-24 21:58:00
I thought it was over, babyWe said our goodbyesBut I can't go a day without your faceGoin through my mind...In fact, not a single minutePasses without you in itYour voice, your touch, memories of your loveAre with me of all of the time...Let me let go, babyLet me let go...If this is for the bestWhy are you still in my heartAre you still in my soulLet me let go...I talked to you the other dayLooks like you make your escapeYou put us behind, no matter how I tryI can't do the same...Let me let go, babyLet me let go...It just isn't rightI've been two thousand milesDown a dead-end road...Let me let go, darlin...won't you?I just gotta know, yeahIf this is for the bestWhy are you still in my heartAre you still in my soulLet me let go...The lights of this strange city are shininBut they dont hold no fascination for meI try to find the bright side, babyBut everywhere I lookEverywhere I turnYou're all I see...Let me, let me let go, baby...won't you?Let me let go...It just isn't rightI...

Cupid Misses Only Me
2008-02-24 16:09:00
read an article today about how the singapore zoo is looking for a new icon since the recently demise of ah-meng, our dearly beloved orang-utan. seriously...i dont really know her, but it states in that same article that ah-meng had appeared in over 30 films before she passed on to the great zoo in the sky. unfortunately i cant seem to recall any of the film she had starred in: either that all actors and actresses look the same. like monkeys.so the article threw in a few suggestions about which one of them should be the new icon, and seriously i thought NONE of them should even make it into the list. i thought chawang the elephant would make a nice choice at first, but eversince he ran his tusks through his keepers, he's not allowed direct contact with humans anymore. and seriously...i doubt we would want his tusks runnning through us anytime soon, well, not while we're hamming it for photoshoots. which means chawang is out. the otter, pedro was a possibility, except he's retirin...
More About: Cupid

Hurting Greatly
2008-02-21 22:20:00
it hurts me when i see you like that. drinking to drown your sorrow or misery. hurts me when i could only stand there and watch and do nothing about it. i wish i could say something or do something...but knowing that you hate the sight of me nor could even stand the presense of me near you, i choose to look elsewhere and try not to get in your way.i miss you dearly...no amount of words could describe how i'm feeling right now. i'm just going through the motion day by day and working my hours through when in truth i would rather play the fool with you.its amazing after all these while i'm still in love with you as i first had. i still think you're amazing, still think you're charming and i still the world of you...i wish there is something i could do that could turn back the time and have things back the way they are but i know i cant.i dont want you to face me everyday when i know you hate it. when i'm done setting up the PI i'll leave since i no longer have the bond to serve...

If You Come To Me
2008-02-21 07:41:00
love this video and song...i thought the girls are talented (50% anyway) and the lyrics are just oh-so super sweet! cookie...this one's just for you...

Let's Take A Walk...
2008-01-29 16:16:00
sometimes your jealousy strucks me as strange. for someone who refuses to be attracted to me nor feel a thing for me and yet claims to be jealous of certain stuff really renders me speechless...you were upset with me when i refuse to allow you to send me to the doctor. i thought it was strange that you wanted to do it. but in any case i didn't feel like it was worth the trip when it was just a mild fever.you got upset later when you read sanchi's testimonial when she harped over a christmas peck on her cheek from.you got more upset when you saw a picture of furby and me.at times you would get upset if LN talks to me when you know she's madly in love with sal and that there could never be anything between us. the only common interest between us: we're left dangling by the ones we love.oh dear...tell me something cookie: if you really don't have any feelings for me, why so much drama? sometimes i wonder if you got me confused with your girlfriend but then i guess with her head fi...
More About: Walk

Chocolate Chip Cookies
2008-01-29 01:33:00
here's what i do when i'm bored shitless. i actually bake.here's my favourite recipe. its chocolate chip cookies with m&m toppings. its optional but it adds an extra sweetness for those with sweet tooth...Ingredients: 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened 3/4 cup granulated sugar 3/4 cup packed brown sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 large eggs 2 cups chocolate chips 1 cup chopped nutsDirections:PREHEAT oven to 375° F.COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels and nuts. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.PAN COOKIE VARIATION: Grease 15 x 10-inch jelly-roll pan...
More About: Cookies , Chocolate , Chip , Cookie

My Heart Sings...
2008-01-28 23:36:00
baby...each time you come near me, my heart sings like this...Bidi Bidi Bom BomCada VezCada Vez Que Lo Veo PasarMi Corazon Se EnloqueceY Me Empieza A PalpitarY Se Emociona (Y Se Emociona)Ya No RazonaNo Lo Puedo ControlarY Se Emociona (Y Se Emociona)Ya No RazonaY Me Empieza A Cantar (Cantar)Me Canta Asi AsiBidi Bidi Bom Bom (Bidi Bidi Bom Bom)Bidi Bidi Bom Bom (Bidi Bidi Bom Bom)Bidi Bidi Bidi Bidi Bidi Bom BomBidi Bidi Bidi Bidi Bidi Bidi BomCada VezCada Vez Que Lo Oigo HablarMe Tiemblan Hasta Las PiernasY El Corazon IgualY Se Emociona (Y Se Emociona)Ya No RazonaNo Lo Puedo ControlarY Se Emociona (Y Se Emociona)Ya No RazonaY Me Empieza A Cantar (Cantar)Me Canta Asi AsiBidi Bidi Bom Bom (Bidi Bidi Bom Bom)Bidi Bidi Bom Bom (Bidi Bidi Bom Bom)Bidi Bidi Bidi Bidi Bidi Bom BomBidi Bidi Bidi Bidi Bidi Bidi Bom
More About: Heart , Sings

Finally...Some Credit
2008-01-28 19:15:00
i'm really excited. can hardly wait.now that my exams are finally over and i'm officially a certified trainer (as of 8th january 2008), i'm decreed to be officially assisst the HRDT department. had a meeting with daniel & kenneth just now and we brought up a couple of issues that we thought was necessary. i had more issues to bring in since i'm on the floor side whereas galah had it a tad easier. we negotiated, debated and try to be as reasonable as possible aiming to get the best for each other, a win-win situation. there was more pros then cons, at least this time round i don't have a back stabbing traitor taking all the credits for my hard work. adios amigo.onay thought i deserve it, he thinks after all that i've been through he thought it was good that someone finally recognise my talent. pity though onay, i didn't tell them the truth, i thought it was best to leave the past as it is. beside if i were to fight for my rights it was over a year ago, who would remember a...
More About: Credit , Finally

Bidi Bidi Bom Bom
2008-01-28 07:21:00
i just woke up.am feeling super sleepy after a whole session of chatting online with my friends whom i've yet to seen for a super-duper L-O-N-G time. rumours of my death have been widely exaggerated.truth is: i'm still very much alive.i can hear the moans of disappointments here.i'm suppose to be getting ready for work and yet here i am still, in my yellow pyjamas - refusing to get my lazy arse off the bed and away from my screen. i'm eating 3-weeks old cookies and reading blogs after blogs. plainly updating my gossip needs. nothing juicy if you ask me...and here i am thinking that i deserve to be shot for being boring.downloaded yahoo messenger at the request of eugene. he claims that msn was a total obselete and that yahoo is the way to go. i spent an hour just trying to figure out the stupid functions. was really not user friendly at all lah!!! but go ahead, you can add me but believe me...chances of me being on yahoo would be as skinny as kate moss.i've been really obsessin...

I Got New Stuff!
2008-01-27 15:42:00
i love my new laptop. black...sleek and at only 2kg i have no problem lugging it around. i love it. so damn in love with it.i love my new camera too. pink and small.i love my new motorola razr. all glittery and shiny.i love my new gadgets. keeps me occupied for the next few months or so while i'm trying to figure out its functions. so i guess it was a blessing when my laptop crash, when my old camera had little use to me and when my e65 keeps hanging...and when my parents says, "...hmmm...time to get you new stuff..."ah...the tinkle of those magic words. never fails to turn me on. i just L-U-R-V-E my new technie babies! oh god...i'm a closet geek!
More About: Stuff

Scandal Inside, Friends Outside
2008-01-27 13:51:00
maybe the notion of loving me will never come to you, but to hear you say so openly that i'm nothing more than a 'scandal inside, friends outside' was enough to ruin my day...really cookie...why do you enjoy breaking my heart? does it make you feel more like a man? does it make you feel stronger and alive each time i'm upset? does it validate whatever misgivings you're having?funny...and yet at times you introduce me as your girlfriend...maybe next time just throw in the word 'scandal'. less confusing for everybody else.
More About: Friends , Scandal , Inside

Instigator Monkey
2008-01-27 00:15:00
i don't like you at all. you're an instigator thats what you are. i think you deserve when you were passed over for the promotion and i'm glad that someone else actually got the promotion instead of you.you 2-headed back-stabbing monkey.really thats what you are. not only have you successfully turn your friends against one another, you're now trying to get my bosses to turn against me. fortunately for me, my work and my level of commitment speaks on my behalf. really: i was struck speechless when cicak told me that you told her how i threaten you.you 2-headed back-stabbing monkey.when the fuck did i even ever threaten you? i don't even have the time to blackmail someone, let alone threaten you. you think i got nothing better to do? just because your leave was not approve by cicak and penguin you have this stupid idea that i was the one who did not approve it? where the hell did this idea come from? am i even in the position to do it?you 2-headed back-stabbing monkey.don't wast...
More About: Monkey

Absolute Favourites
2008-01-26 08:45:00
waking up in your arms... having morning kisses from you... sleeping next to you...are my utmost favourite things in the world. and nothing...absolutely nothing can take this away from me. memories are just so untouchables...
More About: Favourites , Absolute

Certified Alcoholic
2008-01-25 23:53:00
really...i'm beginning to think that i'm a soon-to-be certified alcoholic. i've been drinking non-stop for almost any day that i'm working that i'm pretty sure that if red cross ever decided that they need my rare AB+ blood its guarantee to have at least 40% alcohol.i'm not really that fantastic a drinker, but i like to think that i can hold my liqour pretty well. after all while some of my friends have been known to lie flat after a couple of bottles, i'm still able to stand and still continue.i've OD once or twice but nothing major so far. hospitalised twice, had my tummy pumped, was advised to control my drinking but since i have yet to see the end of the tunnel, often i find myself drinking without any sense of control.polished off quite a bit tonight. its friday, no surprise here but the crowd was not really there. and being miss smarty-pants i decided to take things into my own hand and push for the sale. oh yeah, sure we had no problem hitting $40k tonight, could have...
More About: Certified , Cert

I Love You...
2008-01-25 06:41:00
and i will say it everyday...every single day...and i mean it...every single word...do not doubt me cookie...
More About: Love , I Love You

Best Damn Thing
2008-01-24 04:42:00
it begin relatively simple enough.i started work at 10 today, came into the office and went straight to the finance department to collect my medical reimbursement. KJA wasn't around, i took the opportunity to dwindle in the office and chat. and then cicak came in. and then KJA came in.i forced myself to stay still when i heard their voices. i place my every inch of my concentration on susie refusing to acknowledge their presence.later when i was certain that they have left the office did i finally leave.he never smile nor acknowledge my presence. and neither did i smile nor acknowledge his. we went along ignoring each other. i was pissed with him, and so was he.it took bboo to get us back on track. because bboo came by today and both cicak and penguin were too busy to entertain him, i had to keep bboo entertain. initially i got the band to came by, and then i told cicak i doubt i can hold on to him any longer. i was getting bored sitting at one place, and then next thing i know KJA...
More About: Damn , Thing