The Ups & Downs of Life

RSS Feed Homepage

Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Thank You...
2008-04-29 12:46:00
DEAR ALL, ATHENA-STARS.BLOGSPOT.COM IS FINALLY BIDDING FAREWELL. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND VIEWERSHIP ALL THIS WHILE. YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENTS AND OPINIONS WILL BE KEPT AS A CONSTANT REMINDERS ALWAYS.ITS BEEN A FANTASTIC RUN, THE UPS AS WELL AS THE DOWNS, AND I APPRECIATE EVERY SECOND THAT YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME CONSTANTLY. MAYBE SOMEDAY I'LL BE BACK TO RULE THE REALM OF BLOGGING BUT IN THE MEANTIME ITS BEST TO IT IN THE PRIVACY OF MY BRAIN. FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME SHOULD YOU HAVE ANY ENQUIRIES, ATHENA-STARS'S MODE OF CONTACT WILL STILL REMAIN THE SAMEPLEASE DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, AND LASTLY ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT IF THE ROMANCE REFUSES TO COME TO YOU, THEN YOU COME TO THE ROMANCE. FIGHT FOR IT UNTIL YOU CANNOT FIGHT ANYMORE AND THEN FINALLY WALK AWAY WITH THAT LAST BIT OF PRIDE, GRACE AND DIGNITY. *schmuax*THANK YOU.ATHENA-STARS

The Name Of This Game
2008-04-27 23:32:00
you may think i'm not responsive and that i hardly showcase my emotions. you probably even think that i'm indifferent to the things that are happening around me and that the only reason why i'm this way would probably be because i am still hung up over KJA.maybe. maybe not. i'm not sure either. just like i'm not sure whether are you over your past with your ex, and whether you genuinely wants to be with me because you like me or am i the stepping stone to get over the ex. its hard to get over the past when the past is right in your face, and i know its harder when you're so badly scarred that the last thing you want to do is to get into another relationship.i'm not ready and neither are you. one of us is expecting results immediately and i'm so hoping its not me. i know i dont want to see things to fast. did we jump the gun and expected a 'bang'? because if we did then i guess we're in for a big disappointment. i cant say that i love you when in truth i know i dont, and n...
More About: Game

Break On Through
2008-04-26 02:07:00
i just feel so damn tired.the fact that i'm sick, and not feeling really just seems to add up to the scene. i'm wallowing in self-pity. leave me alone.i'm exhausted.seriously leave me alone.my head was spinning through my shift, and at one point i blacked out. luckily iqk was there and he carried me to one side. if he wasnt there i think i would have lay there for a very long time. i'm lucky that someone is always watching out for me...but on the other hand sometimes i just wish people would just leave me alone.i cant take the expectations nor handle it very well.i'm just so damn exhausted.my head is still spinning.and you...i'm sorry i'm such a disappointment in us. i guess i wasnt that fantastic to begin with...urgh...
More About: Break

Strike Three - And You're Out!
2008-04-23 23:47:00
when i was a child and when holidays and festive seasons are important to me, i remember how i would always look forward to a celebration. it doesnt matter what kind of holidays or which festival we will be celebrating because as far as mama is concern, we would celebrate almost anything and everything under the sky.simply because the extensive family that i am 'blessed' with.one particular holiday i would remember would be christmas, and no...i'm not a christian but i remember christmas because of the bright lights that would surround town, homes, on trees. they are almost everywhere.i could spent hours, staring at them, not moving an inch. i remember going to auntie valerie's place and when all is over and done with, i would lie down under the christmas tree and just stare at the lights. somehow...it takes away whatever stress that i would be feeling then.i dont know why but i'm feeling a tad under the weather, things seems to spark off an anger in me without me even realisin...
More About: Strike

More Than Words
2008-04-23 23:16:00
Saying I love youIs not the words I want to hear from youIt's not that I want youNot to say, but if you only knewHow easy it would be to show me how you feelMore than words is all you have to do to make it realThen you wouldn't have to say that you love meCos I'd already knowWhat would you do if my heart was torn in twoMore than words to show you feelThat your love for me is realWhat would you say if I took those words awayThen you couldn't make things newJust by saying I love youMore than wordsNow I've tried to talk to you and make you understandAll you have to do is close your eyesAnd just reach out your hands and touch meHold me close don't ever let me goMore than words is all I ever needed you to showThen you wouldn't have to say that you love meCos I'd already knowWhat would you do if my heart was torn in twoMore than words to show you feelThat your love for me is realWhat would you say if I took those words awayThen you couldn't make things newJust by saying I love you
More About: Words

Define This Define That
2008-04-23 11:54:00
why do people like to put a defination on things?must i announce to the world that i'm single? or if i'm out of love, or if i'm seeing someone? why make things so damn complicated, why cant we have it easy? you know: go with the flow. no point killing yourself over something that requires a defination or a validation. why put yourself through the torture of misery if you know in the first place you might not be happy with the way things are going to turn out?promises are so damn easy to make, and even so much easier to break.people walk the talk and talk the walk, it comes with so much ease to make empty promises, knowing that it is not an obligation for us to fulfil it since, frankly no one ever does. we make one, we break the same one the following day.i like to have the easy way out, no defination on stuff, cool on the explaination part, easy on the promises part. why put so much trouble on things when we already have had enough troubles over on our head already?so enough alre...
More About: Define

Must Be Something About Me
2008-04-22 00:13:00
hating you is exhausting. thats what i learn today this morning at 5am. from nanz and lydia no less. they were at my place again, without any invitations from myself or my family. self invites they so self-proclaim. we chat quietly and they had their fill of my prawn crackers, i was coughing away badly, and nanz just couldnt stop playing with my hair."...you know why you're exhausted nowadays, because you gave so much love to KJA that she took every single ounce of energy you would have had in the next 3 years. so now you're like an open sink, all drained out of any emotions to love or feel. look at the green apple girl, exactly where are you guys standing at right now?"i shrug, and replay 'bole chudiyan' again for the countless times."...i dont know. i'm a TOTAL huge mass of emotional mess. i just keep having this nagging feeling that she's going to do the same stunt like KJA and i'm just building walls after walls. i'm not letting her in and i'm on defense mode all the ti...

Bole Chundiya
2008-04-21 03:16:00
Bole chudiyan, bole kangana,Haay main ho gayi, teri saajna,Tere bin jiyo naiyyo lagda main te margaiyaan,Lehja lehja, dil lehja lehja, lehja lehja, soniye lehja lehja,Lehja lehja, dil lehja lehja, lehja lehja, soniye lehja lehja,Bole chudiyan, bole kangana,Haay main ho gayi, teri saajna,Bole chudiyan, bole kangana,Haay main ho gayi, teri saajna,Tere bin jiyo naiyyo lagda main te margaiyaan,Lehja lehja, soniye lehja lehja, dil lehja lehja...Bole chudiyan, bole kangana,Haay main ho gaya, tera saajna,Tere bin jiyo naiyyo lagda main te mar jaava,Lehja lehja, soniye lehja lehja, dil lehja lehja...Haay haay main mar jaava mar jaava tere bin,Ab to meri raatein kati taare gin gin,Bas tujhko pukara kare, meri bindiya ishaara kare...O! Lashkara lashkara teri bindiya ka lashkara,Aise chamke jaise chamke chand ke pass sitaara,Meri payal bole tujhe, jo roothe manaye tuhje,Oh sajan ji, haan sajan ji,Kuch socho kuch samjho meri baat ko,Bole chudiyan, bole kangana,Haay main ho gaya, tera saajna,Ter...

Ice Princess In Heels
2008-04-20 05:05:00
imagine walking around in heels for SIXTEEN hours. it was enough to kill me. my legs felt like lead by the end of the shift and its no comfort with people telling me that i should wear heels more often. seriously. the damn place is huge. i have to walk from one end of mv to the other, and then to the membership desk, and then to the bottle store. its a major wreck, and with people rushing me to do voids, vouchers or bottle slip forms its just not helping!i swear, at one point i almost - A-L-M-O-S-T threw my shoe at one of the security when he shouted across the pathway saying that heels make me look sexy. i was tired, and grumpy and exhausted and that stupid comment failed to lighten me up.maybe thats why people in heels are grumpy all the times. their legs are suffering so they're venting the frustration on mere mortals.and when a stupid regular came up to me and called me ice princess, i snapped.he had the audacity to call me "ice princess" when i think i'm like the friendliest ...
More About: Princess , Heels

You Should Know...
2008-04-18 01:14:00
that i like pink...but i love red. i like green but i know i love black even more. red and black never fails to perk me up. i never like to go for dinner where i have to cook my own food, i think its a waste of my time. i hate restaurants, but i like kopitiam where you can have decent oyster omelette without someone breathing down your neck. i hate to queue up but i love trotting down a busy street. i like mint ice cream and i like butterscotch on vanilla with a sprinkle of nuts and whipped cream, i hate it when people thrust mocha ice cream in my face, its yucky and gross.that i love presents. well actually i love opening presents. what i get is nothing compared to untying the ribbon, followed by opening the wrapper and reading the card. the touch of sincerity is there and it almost always never fails to get me off.that i dont have a favourite band, they always disband after a couple of hits but if i have to show my respect and credit to a certain band, i would have to say the gyps...

Get Off My Back
2008-04-17 11:36:00
years ago, benjamin franklin said, "...never put off what you can do today, tomorrow..." the man who discovered electricity shared the secret of his success and gave his light to see in the dark, the power to redeem yourself in the brightness of artificial creation.responsibilities sucks. remember when you were young and all you can wonder if sunday could come any faster, or who has the fastest AAA bike, and who could climb the row of monkey bars without slipping. where did that go? when did we become adults and when did responsibilities creep up behind us without us realising it? how is it possible that one moment you were toasting to a new year, and then the next thing you know you're signing for the approval of the part-timers payroll? when did you came from counting tips to counting cash? and when did suddenly what you do outside work, in your personal life becomes public affairs?i can think of a reason why i want to stay in SJ and work my arse off, and yet at the same time i c...
More About: Back

Open Up Your Eyes And See
2008-04-16 09:52:00
i wish i can make you see...just to have you to open up your eyes and realise the difference...that i'm worth every single trouble...because if you cant see...then its pointless for me to try...
More About: Eyes , Open

Smells Like Strawberry Taste Like Baileys
2008-04-15 09:51:00
i'm in love with tequila rose.all thanks to my monday duties.it smells like strawberry, and taste just like baileys...only sweeter and believe me - i'm not a big fan of tequila. never quite like it nor enjoy it. i always hate the bitter aftertaste of tequila, and somehow tequila and bourbon always end up making me really sick. but with tequila rose...its a totally different experience! love it i do...went to bedroom to drink a round of beer, just realise how much the place has changed and that its no longer as what it used to be. desire took over jewel bar, 6am has launched itself as an ah-beng pub, and with no credits due its way anytime soon, 7-eleven has put itself on the franchise market and launched itself almost everywhere on boat quay.so many changes within a span of a year...i wonder what it would be like if i come by again in a year's time. would shah alam still be there, would bedroom even still be sitting in its usual oriental style along the streets? could i saunter i...
More About: Strawberry , Taste , Baileys

I'm Not Missing You...
2008-04-14 00:39:00
I'm not missing youBeen through just about everything that I could go throughWhen it comes to relationshipsDon't know what I was missing or why I ain't listenWhen I told myself that was itNow here I go, hurt againCause of my curiousityNow that its overWhat else could it be he just had to cheatI made a promise never to settleWhy didn't I keep it?Cause I hated the heartbreakCrying and cheating, the fooling around(But) Im not missing youI'm not going through the motionsWaiting and hoping you call meI'm not missing youYou might have had me openBut I must be going becauseI got life to doI know I'm usually hanging onI used to hate to see you goneBut this time its differentI don't even feel the distanceI'm not missingI'm not missing youIts a shame in a way causeI feel that I may not ever find the right one for meDid I leave him, is he right in front of my face ohWill my true love ever be?Why would I go on a search againWhen I know what the end will beWhat good is love when it kee...
More About: Missing You , Missing

Wishing Out Loud
2008-04-13 23:59:00
i wish i can go on a holiday...i wish i can spent my afternoons lazing in a meadow watching the cloudsi wish that people would just pay up what they borrow so that i can trust them back againi wish i can have a new phone - SOONi wish i can swim with the dolphins and frolic under the sun all day longi wish i can spent ONE WHOLE day with you without any hints of interruptions...i wish i can hold you close...and kiss you like there's no tomorrowunfortunately...all are just wishes...
More About: Loud , Wishing

Sensual Ombre
2008-04-12 09:45:00
curtains up for my messy friday...ready...and action!i do not get it why people would actually cuddle in a club. its packed. its full of sweaty people, people are moving from one end to the other, how can you even actually cuddle and kiss like as if you're in a park i dont get it...and the audacity of you to look offended when we ask you to move your butt elsewhere. seriously. move your butt and dont look offended, there is 400 people in MV alone at any point of time, we really do not need to see your bf sticking his tongue down your throat.for the hundreth time: we do not have a menu. your coupon allows you to redeem for any of the housepour, soft drinks, a couple of mocktails, wines, evian, red bull etc. now stop asking for a menu when you only pay $10 for a drink coupon.and no...no i cant request the band to play 'black magic woman' again. its not a radio channel. we dont do dedication, we dont do encores. we sing it once and thats it. if you really want them to encore a song ...

The L Word's Best Kisses
2008-04-11 07:39:00
the video...the song...just justifies why i should be a bi and never straight. :)
More About: Kisses

Wishing For A Thousand Bucks...
2008-04-10 23:22:00
my phone conks out on me again.i didnt receive some of hershey's messages and along with some others, and on top of that i keep getting call alert since when people call me, apparently my mobile is off.when it isnt. urgh...whats more infuriating is the fact that my phone would automatically shuts down and restarts on its on as if it has a life.and i know my nokia e65 is already beyond repair, since if its repairable, nokia would have call me ages ago and not wait for 3 months to do so. oh wait its coming to 4 months and no they still haven call yet.i need a new phone...maybe i should. think i will. shall get the e51 come monthend. lolz. quite like it though it does seem a tad manly. the n76 does seem prettier especially in pink...ooohhh...i love love love. ah then again...shall wait first lah. i wanna go hong kong so cant really spent unwisely and recklessly. damn it.and a bloody damn new wallet. stupid braun torn already. and mama took my LV wallet. damn. if she knows its from pap...
More About: Bucks , Thousand , Wishing

Tagged Again!
2008-04-10 05:37:00
1. Last person you had a deep and meaningful conversation with?- my mama. we talked about trust and betrayal, heartaches and love...everything except eradicating proverty at 8am in the morning.2. Pick 1 person you trust with your life?- susanna hashim @ nana & bibik aidah.3. what was the last thing you ate?- egg prata with fish curry, hotcakes with sausage & a sausage macmuffin4. Are you ticklish?- seriously depends on where are we talking about... ;)5. Last time you've seen fireworks?- the 1st year anniversary of vivocity6. Who is the last person that left you a text message?- haireena othman7. What colour is your underwear right now?- olive green lacy jockeys8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?- hershey. she called me to tell me that she's home and that i didnt reply to her messages which i swear on tuna & pickles sandwich i did not receive!9. Are you missing someone?- yes. very much so...10. Reason behind why you last cried?- finding out that my gi...
More About: Tagged

Saltwater Taffy & LV
2008-04-08 23:23:00
what a day. woke up late and was super-duper late for work, but not that i care since i figured that rai was around. and then when i came he was going on and on about having to take care of 3 outlets and all i can think of as i sat there listening to him droning was how much i was missing you...i started my day by activating for wed salsa fiesta night. to quote ing, "...pretty much dead if tomorrow fails like nobody's business..."i'm packing my bags to standby just incase.i stayed around hanging in the outlet until about 12 and then i had to leave. LN was waiting for me and hershey was already in sentosa waiting for us. but thanks to LN's driving skills, by the time we reached sentosa we pretty much had to u-turn and have supper at newton circus instead. that woman cant drive for nuts. her sense of direction is really: BAD.after supper LN went off to meet her gf and i went to east coast with hershey. just sitting there and chill out when she pass me an LV paper bag. for the unini...
More About: Taffy

Its "I Miss You" With An "I"
2008-04-08 00:11:00
its silly i know but sometimes i think its wrong when i'm happy.i walk around with a goofy grin on my face, i bang into doors because i was engrossed reading messages and i would laugh out loud WHILE reading the same messages. i would think about you and wonder what are you up to and wonder if you're thinking of me, or missing me the same way that i'm missing you...zidane thinks thats its weird to see me walking around SJ and smiling like a doofus. he thought i had way too much sex the night before, i told him i dont need sex to make me happy, but rather sms from a certain someone would definately make my day and that was enough. i aint no nymphomaniac, i dont need to fuck around to validate my existence, and at my age if i still need sex to validate anything at all, then i think i have wasted my life. such a pity.i like hanging out with you. i think you're funny and strangely-smart, and knowing that you too had bad relationships somehow means you would know how it feels like to...
More About: Miss , Miss You , I Miss You

Worth The Wait
2008-04-07 23:21:00
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...I love thee to the depth and breadth and heightMy soul can reach, when feeling out of sightFor the ends of being and ideal grace...I love thee to the level of everyday'sMost quiet need, by sun and candle-light.I love thee freely, as men strive for right;I love thee purely, as they turn from praise...I love thee with a passion put to useIn my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.I love thee with a love I seemed to loseWith my lost saints...I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my lifeand, if God choose,I shall but love thee better after death...
More About: Worth , Wait

Tuna Mayo & Pickles Sandwich
2008-04-07 10:41:00
i had the worst evening ever. my head was reeling. i had a major headache and i puke thrice. the fact that i spent 3 hours inside the bottle store looking for expired bottles didnt help, and the fact that the stupid gorilla cso was harassing me kinda made it worse.warrior came down last night, with coffee and mentos for me. yeay...was really a nice surprise. afterall with most of my full strength not working, nobody getting me my needs, he coming down with both really made my day. it was such a nice surprise. thank you sweetheart...hershey also came down last night, and she made me sandwiches. (wow...macam banyak surprise gitu kan?) i thought it was so sweet, except for the fact that the sausage was not well-done, the meal was pleasant and most importantly edible. afterall according to her, she has never cooked for anyone before. i thought the sandwich was great though. mucha gracias bonita...i spent most of the night pretty much clenching my fists and rubbing my temple in a weak at...
More About: Tuna , Pickles , Sandwich

Beef Noodles & Chocolate Cake
2008-04-06 02:59:00
i hate it big time when people bring personal problems into work. i confess i do it as well, but heck i hate it when someone else does it. i know it can be pretty tough to handle the situation, sometimes you face a breakup, sometimes you have family woes, or you could be ladden with financial woes but still...when things ended between me and KJA (...and FYI she's in L-U-R-V-E...with whichever monkey now i dont care...) i know i nosedive big time. i cant work, cant concentrate, i was pretty much a mess. i could cry when the band plays como la flor, or when the DJ spins a certain song, i would daze away in stupidity and i forgot almost everything that is related to work. it got so bad to the extent that i was pretty much waiting for them to end my contract. its still pretty much a mess now but i think fairly better. nowadays...i just hang out old man, bopeng, esti, zilz and LN. we pretty much bitch about everybody but us.oh and you...the next time me LN are having dinner and you star...
More About: Cake , Chocolate , Beef , Noodles

Seashells & Green Apples
2008-04-05 03:46:00
its really pretty the way you smile at me, or when you look awkward when i come near you. you have this look about you that makes me just want to reach across, grabbed your hand and run towards the sea...no...not to die together or stuff like that...but to play by the seaside...and you smell really nice, reminds me of green apples... you're like summer by the seaside. nice...
More About: Green , Apples , Seashells

From Morning Till 2pm
2008-04-04 08:35:00
please...please please i beg of you. do not torture me this way.i cant sleep.i have insomnia. which means i actually have difficulty sleeping, which would also explain why i can stay awake until 11am, which would also means when i'm finally asleep please do not call me nor message me simply because i would wake up and i would have a difficult time to return to sleep.seriously.its not that i dont care about your day, your life or whatsoever, but i'm tired and people calling me at 12 noon or 1pm is really asking for death.the fact that you're calling is one thing. the fact that its about useless random stuff is another. i mean really: do i want to know if heath ledger is leaving behind millions to his daughter whatever-her-name is? neither do i want to know if there is night market near my place simply because i work in the night shift so i dont get to go to the night market! i dont like attending to requests either, like picking people up all the way from one end to the other end ...
More About: Morning

Smitten Kitten
2008-04-04 00:17:00
i spent my entire shift talking about sex.well not really an entire shift, about an hour or two but i spent it on sex. well i didnt have any, and neither did old man or bopeng but we spent it talking about the different positions to have sex, the pros-cons, our 'urghs', kinkiest place to have sex, and off course the utmost outright favourite: fetish.it was funny all right. we had this serious look on our faces so that people would think that we're thinking of eradicating proverty when in truth i was telling them about my most kinkiest place of having sex, and when someone from the top management walks by we would swerve the conversation to something more serious and more suitable.and then we got into this heated argument about having one-night stand. bopeng thinks that he cant sleep with someone unless he knows the person, and it has to be at least a period of a month, old man was ready to go for anything and to quote me, "...you would fuck a donkey if you had to..." and then whe...
More About: Kitten

Drama To Dramatic
2008-04-02 22:49:00
my day can go from drama to dramatic...i hit taka Guess boutique early in the afternoon just to ogle at my white tote bag and my watch. tried both items over and over again, and off course i tried their other stuff like shoes and clothes. i drove the salesgirl crazy with my antics, and plus the fact that i know which items they dont carry in the asia market and which ones they do drove them to the brink of insanity. oh wait i think it was the fact that i know what promotions that they were having that literally drove them to insanity. (FYI: spend S$200 at any Guess boutique and you're entitled to a S$30 Guess shoe vouchers...)i pleaded with mama to let me buy the bag.evil knows no boundaries.she says no.pure E-V-I-L...i pleaded with papa to let me buy the bag. or watch.he says no."...you have too many bags and watches...how many more do you need?.." they sang in unison.i told LN that fat people should stay in zimbabwe, bosnia and somalia. she looked blurred for a moment until i tol...
More About: Drama

Coffee & Me
2008-04-02 07:41:00
i think i seriously drink way too much coffee.unfortunately i enjoy it. to the extent that i go through at least 4-5 cups per day. its not bad now considering that when i was with starbucks i go through at least 12 cups per day. the thing with coffee, they are like cigarettes. they calm me down.in the morning i go through at least 2 cups, morning java with creamer and a dash of sugar accompanied with a stick. i would sit by the window and savour the crisp morning air and watch the busy streets. i would stare away with a daze look and just breathe. nothing could disturb my morning wind-up session. normally this would be followed by a morning run.but since i've been feeling lazy lately i just cant be bothered...to run i mean...the coffee and cigarette remains a compulsory moment in my life.and then when i'm off to work i would grabbed another cup of coffee. if i'm not taking the train i would grabbed black coffee from the nearby coffeeshop, but if i am taking the train then i would...
More About: Coffee

Happy 60th Birthday Mama!
2008-04-01 21:52:00
Mama...Happy birthday...Even though you might preferLife without these markers,Each too public to defer.Now that you are sixty,Sing to us your own sweet song,That we might celebrate your life,Rejoicing all night long.Each of us has love to bring,Each a special song to sing,To lose your heart among...Hope your birthday's a blast!
More About: Birthday , Mama