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Geraldo Rivera: Grope-a-Dope
When Geraldo Rivera ragged on the airport feel-up guy not to touch his junk, the TSA agent complied by halting the under-the-hoodie head examination and traveling to Geraldo's other head where the Fox News narcissistic nut job natters, "I got manually raped." Geraldo, claiming he was on the no-fly list but got himself off, seems to be suggesting at best he got fingered; at worst, fisted. As is his custom, Geraldo injected himself into a Friday Fox & Friends segment on an 18-month-old girl fingered as a terrorist. If you don't have the stomach to watch, here's Geraldo growing increasingly more excited regaling the curvy couch with a tale about his tail:"I tell ya, the last time I flew to Afghanistan, I got manually raped by a guy, who, uh, there was the scanner wasn't working. But, I, uh, making sure is one thing, this guy, it seemed to me, was getting off on it. I, uh, and, and the more, and the tighter I got and the angrier I got, and I just, do you know [sou...
More About: Al Sharpton , Geraldo Rivera , Fox and Friends
Beach Boy Bashes Barack
The Beach Boys won't be headlining at "asshole, socialist" Obama's White House anytime soon. BB Bruce Johnston went off on Obama while signing autographs in NYC Thursday and was sent to his room.Al Jardine, Bruce Johnston 50th anniversary tour NYC. NYPIn Bruce's room, there are no heroes, only villains in 2012's presidential election. To an Obama fan: "Wait until Obama doesn't have to try anymore. You're fucked." TMZ has the vid.Help me, Romney? Johnston: "Who's the Republican asshole? Our guy isn't any good." Rolling StoneDon't worry baby. God only knows if Obama will do it again . . . Until then we'll have fun, fun, fun until Daddy takes the T-bills away.
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NBC Drops 'Rock'
NBC's Brian Williams rock bottom ratings vehicle Rock Center is off the sked for the rest of May's ratings sweeps. Sharp-eyed TV by the Numbers spotted the glaring omission yesterday in a Thursday NBC press release.NBC Friday greased the skids to TVNewser for next week's NBC "upfront" with Rock probably dropped from NBC's Fall prime-time lineup.
NBC's Chuck Todd: Don't Know Much About History
NBC's Chuck Todd borrows Tom Brokaw 's rendition of Mitt Romney 's "white man overbite" to render this gem: "The Germans bombed Pearl Harbor." Via The Candid Bull (H/t Johnny Dollar)
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NYT Chastened: Runs Bill O'Reilly Chaz Correction
Fox's Bill O 'Reilly's gone after NYT's young media star Brian Stelter before. This time O'Reilly gets a rare NYT correction after sending up Stelter Thursday night on The O'Reilly Factor. Quoting Stelter's Wednesday piece: "Mr. O'Reilly and one of his guests com-plainnned last fall when Chaz Bono became the first openly transgendered . . ." (blah blah blah) "Well, it's not true. Once again Mr. Stelter writes a falsehood in order to demonize me and Fox News. . . . Because of my position [on gay marriage] liberal guys like Stelter in the New York Times want to hurt me."NYTO'Reilly went after Stelter for an April Fool's Day story positing O'Reilly's radio show "failed" against Rush Limbaugh and that's why he quit radio. It simply wasn't true. O'Reilly had 400 affiliates when he bagged radio to concentrate on TV. O'Reilly pissed off Stelter by suggesting he enroll in Northwestern's journalism school. Stelter's reax then? No retraction but...
Washington Post's Hair Club For Mitt
Why the Washington Post didn't run the recycled decades-old Mitt Romney prep school gay bullying 5,500 word rumor rehash in the print edition but pimped it online the day after Obama's "historic" gay marriage endorsement.The Post rounded up Romney prep school snitches to confirm Mitt Scissorhands led a preppie "posse" pinning down and hacking off the floppy bleached bangs of a high school classmate assumed to be gay.
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Shill Robin's Post-Orgasmic 'Chills' Over Obama Gay Marriage Climax
ABC's Robin Roberts experienced a post-orgasmic chill after Obama finally achieved a "historic" anticlimactic climax on gay marriage. The morning after Robin reveled in the rendezvous to Good Morning America's George Stephanopoulous: "I'm getting chills again." Watch here.ABC News offers a helpful guide to the differences between Obama's "evolution" and "flip-flops." George Bush, Mitt Romney, and John Kerry flip-flop. Obama evolves.Related: ABC News: "Obama Touts Support for Gay Marriage at Star-Studded Fundraiser At George Clooney's Home." CNN: "Star-studded." "Star power with a twist" LAT. Obama: $15 million record haul because "everybody loves George."
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The Key To Rebekah
Apologies to Ken Follett.Huff Post goes live with Rupert Murdoch protégée Rebekah Brooks testifying in the UK phone hacking scandal. Huff Post
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TIME Rips Off National Lampoon: 'If You Don't Buy This Magazine, We'll Kill
If you don't buy this magazine, we'll kill this kid. TIME mag cover with a future Philip Roth at mommy's breast. Or a Joe Biden "a little bit over his skis."
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Fox News On Gay Marriage: AC/DC
Huff Post: Anchor Shep Smith v Fox Nation rubbed the wrong way by Obama.
More About: News , Marriage , Gay Marriage , Fox News
Jon Stewart and CNN's Snap-On Tools
With Obama growing balls and coming out in favor of gay marriage, a West Virginia prison inmate nabbing 40% of the Dem presidential primary vote Tuesday, Jon Stewart skewers doom-and-gloom Obama apologists CNN by teasing a show that might, might be a ratings blockbuster with a niche demo.Soledad O'Brien: "Just how unpopular is President Obama in some parts of the country?"Stewart: "Oh, I know this game! It's that new show 'YO! CNN SNAPS!' . . . Obama is so unpopular Kenya now says he was born in Ghana! He's so unpopular that his Ben & Jerry's flavor is Im-Peach! He's so unpopular that . . . " Stewart: "All right, CNN, your turn." WatchYO! CNN SNAPS! CNN is so unpopular that . . . comely cipher Erin Burnett -- who replaced John King at 7p -- performed a "scratch" in Nielsen ratings Tuesday (in golf that's good). On TV that's bad. Very bad.Erin Burnett: Scratch 'n sniff.Burnett's ratings in the golden 25-...
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Obama 'Evolving': Bobbin' With Robin
Update: Obama once again makes it about him, telling Roberts: "I've just concluded that for me personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married." Why Robin scored the Obama interview. Politico "Race and age" NewsBustersRead Robin's interview transcript. Does the Huffington Post's media headline writer while away Hump Day on Ecstasy? First it was the Rush Limbaugh WWIII head about nothing. Now this:Translation: On gay marriage. Will Obama, fearful of alienating voters, stop straddling on supporting same-sex marriage? Stay tuned for the "hastily scheduled interview," parts of which will run Wednesday and the entire thing Thursday during May Sweeps on ABC's Good Morning America.Read and watch.Evolution complete! Around the world with Barack Obama."Barack Obama's evolution is complete." Howard Kurtz The Daily BeastObama dials for dollars after gay marriage evolv...
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NBC, CBS and Two Blind Vice
NYP Page Six May 6thRhodes collared?On-the-rise in more than one way? Right, CBS News President David Rhodes, 38, the "longtime mentor" to Margaret Brennan who just left Rhodes's former berth Bloomberg for parts unknown but maybe . . . CBS News? Left, NBC News President Steve Capus. Lauren Kapp, SVP communications, left NBC a month ago after 10 years for a similar gig at the Huffington Post. NYT's Brian Stelter quoted Steve "reluctant for her to leave NBC" Capus conceding "It's just too good of an opportunity for Lauren to pass up."TV Newser April 4th: "Kapp, who is a key adviser to NBC News president Steve Capus, will do the same for Arianna Huffington." Maybe not quite... Chickaboomer hears that once Comcast got wind of it, you didn't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blew. Kapp was blown out. Surprising that only Page Six ran it as a blind item since this was hardly a secret in the TV industry.
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Huff Post Digs Up Rush Limbaugh Sandra Fluke Corpse
Huff Post WWIII headConsider the source. Huff Post runs with May 7th Radio Ink comments from the CEO of Cumulus which owns Mike Huckabee's new radio show going head-to-head with Rush Limbaugh. Cumulus stations still have contracts to carry Rush and some are running Huckabee 12-3 but many are delaying the new show. Rush is on maybe three dozen Cumulus's 500+ stations. That's it. Radio Ink quotes Cumulus CEO Lew Dickey (second to Clear Channel which owns Rush Limbaugh's syndicator Premiere Radio Networks) as losing "a couple million" dollars in ad revenue in the first quarter and "a couple million" in the second quarter. He said things look like they will be back to normal in June. Cumulus carries Rush Limbaugh 38 markets and blames 1% of the 3.5% drop in revenue for the quarter on the Rush boycott.
More About: Sandra , Huff
Obama: Grabbing 'Gay Money' Hand Over Fisting
NBC News White House Correspondent Chuck Todd: "They're so sensitive to Biden doing this because, number one, gay money in this election has replaced Wall Street money." Jon Stewart : "Gay money has replaced Wall Street money? You know, the only difference between gay money and Wall Street money is when you put gay money in one of them tacky velcro wallets, it rolls its eyes."Actually, Obama 's wide stance on gay marriage is not "evolving" like POTUS press puppet Jay "let me just be clear" Carney parrots. He's devolving, delegating the dirty up-gays'-asses duty to Biden and other surrogates. Watch Stewart ream "It Is As It Was" Carney.
More About: Money , Hand
Modern Family: NBC's New 'Dysfunctional First Family Comedy' From Obama Ex-
NBC rips off "Modern Family ." Lisa de Moraes Wash PostRelated: NBC adds two more comedies: '1600 Penn,' 'Animal Practice' LAT
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Poof! Time Erodes Outrage Over Gay TV Characters
Then and now: Joe Biden's gay marriage greasing prompts NYT's Brian Stelter compares the reax to gay TV series characters circa 1990s to now, fingering Fox's Bill O 'Reilly as an example of How Things Have Changed:When the Fox News host Bill O?Reilly briefly made a fuss about the Unique character on ?Glee? last month, criticizing the show for ?shock value,? his comments gained little notice. (?Glee? is broadcast on Fox, whose parent company, News Corporation, also owns Fox News). Mr. O?Reilly and one of his guests also complained last fall when Chaz Bono became the first openly transgender contestant on ABC?s ?Dancing With the Stars.? But the ?Dancing? producers defended Mr. Bono, who lasted six weeks on the show. Upon being voted off, he said he had participated in part because if there had been ?somebody like me on TV when I was growing up, my whole life would have been different.? GCB: Gay Christian Bitches.Steve Levitan, creator and producer of "the nation's ...
More About: Time , Characters
Tom Brokaw Fairly Fingers Fox's 'The Five'
Brokaw mocks Mitt's mugTom Brokaw turns his Mitt Romney "white man overbite" on the White House Correspondents' Dinner which has turned into nothing more than a Hollywood on the Potomac celebrity starf**king. "An exercise simply in hedonism," proclaims Brokaw Tuesday to Howard Kurtz . "I don't go anymore. . . . It'll steal your soul." Huff PostEureka! Brokaw and I finally agree on something!Incoming WHCA president, Fox News WH correspondent Ed Henry -- and serial starf**ker Greta Van Susteren (inviting Lindsay Lohan this year, squiring Kim Kardashian in 2011), defended the "charitable aspect of the dinner" after Brokaw trashed the event on Sunday's Meet The Press:Huff PostBrokaw actually praises Fox News (after pimping MSNBC's Morning Joe's for the same thing) for being one cable TV news show out there "giving a variety of voices time to express themselves."Brokaw: "Fox has now got the gang at five o'clock. They're getting more voices involved." Related: "D...
Obama Electile Dysfunction: Joe Biden's Gay Foreplay As Obama Refuses To Cl
Bungle in the political jungle: Joe Biden and SecED Arne Duncan's foreplay with same-sex marriage backers while Obama cowers in the closet "boxed in". Wash Post finds one in six Obama moneybags "bundlers" are gay while other prominent gay donors are experiencing Obama electile dysfunction and withholding dough. Greg Sargent The Plum Line Wash Post CNN's Anderson Cooper: "The president's position on gay marriage is anything but precise." Huff Post vidSort of like Anderson's personal position . . . Related: Politico"Obama's ruthless campaign" Michael Gerson Wash Post
New Hispanic English TV Channel Vows Not To Finger George Zimmerman as 'Whi
Brian Stelter NYTLA TimesRelated: Wash Post's Erik Wemple: Why did PBS call George Zimmerman a 'White Hispanic'?Wash Post's Erik Wemple: Why did the New York times call George Zimmerman a 'White Hispanic'?
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'It's Like Putting a Dog on Roller Skates': Sacha Baron Cohen on 'Female Jo
?It?s so charming that you have these female journalists. It?s like putting a dog on roller skates." Pimper nonpareil Sacha Baron Cohen at his "press conference" Monday. NYDNAnd Matt Lauer is having an affair with one "dog" Cohen fingered earlier Monday on NBC's Today Show. And it's not the rumored Natalie Morales. NBC's Today website left out Cohen's Matt affair accusation.UK Daily MailJon Stewart kissed the Dicktator's ring Monday night with comely babe bodyguards toting what appeared to be my favorite semi-automatic weapon: AR-15. "Aladeen" renders Stewart speechless: "They are checked for their virginity every night by the head of my penis." (Watch)
More About: Female , Putting , Ann Curry
MSNBC Hires Colombian Hookers To Run Chyron
Monday NBC's Today Show pimped the Colombian prostitute stiffed by that Secret Service agent.Later MSNBC swiped this but ran it under a photo of freshly defeated French president Nicolas Sarkozy . Huff Post Just another in a growing list of MSNBC's Chyronic f**kups. Last week it was a photo of a still breathing football player to accompany a story on the suicide of Junior Seau. Mediaite blew it off with "most news people are nerds." I am now convinced MSNBC's Chyron is operated by Colombian hookers . . . or the fired "stupid brutes" Secret Service slugs.MSNBC is in dire need of a cleansing High Chryonic . . .
More About: Carla Bruni
Anderson Cooper A 'Heartbeat' Away From Tick-Tick-Tick '60 Minutes'?
With CBS News "60 Minutes" skewing younger with ratings up in the golden 25-54 demo, will Anderson Cooper be the first CNN prime-time star in recent memory to leave on his own -- if the world doesn't vanish when the Mayan calendar ends December 21, 2012? Brian Stelter NYT
More About: Anderson Cooper , Mike Wallace
SNL's Fred Armisen: A Fit Person To Succeed Rupert Murdoch
Fred Armisen removes his Barack Obama makeup and pops up as "Rupert Murdoch " on SNL's recurring Fox & Friends lame skit: I've made some mistakes but I'm not gonna let this stop me. I'm gonna continue my greatest social experiment to see how misinformed a person can be while still hosting a morning news program." (2:50 in)
More About: Fox News , Fred , Person , Fox and Friends
NYT's Bill Keller: Fox's Fair and Balanced 'A Slogan For The Suckers'
NYT's ex-executive editor now columnist Bill Keller, he of "All The News That's Fit To Print," goes off on Rupert "not a fit person" Murdoch, Fox News , and Roger Ailes . "Murdoch's Pride is America's Poison" minus the first four grafs:Fox News is Murdoch?s most toxic legacy. My gripe against Fox is not that it is conservative. The channel?s pulpit-pounding pundits, with the exception of the avuncular Mike Huckabee, are too shrill for my taste, but they are not masquerading as impartial newsmen. Nor am I indignant that Fox News is the cultural home of the Republican Party and a nonstop Obama roast. Partisan journalism, while not my thing, has a long tradition. Though I do wonder if the folks at Fox appreciate that this genre is more European than American. My complaint is that Fox pretends very hard to be something it is not, and in the process contributes to the corrosive cynicism that has polarized our public discourse. I doubt that people at Fox News really be...
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China Grovel: Obama Hoses Hillary
Doug Schoen, an adviser to Hillary Clinton 's 2008 presidential campaign, pens a Cinco de Mayo piece in Newsweek's The Daily Beast suggesting the obvious: Obama is using Hillary as a human shield in the blind Chinese dissident asylum mess. (My paraphrasing.) After the 2010 Dem midterm bloodbath, Schoen and Jimmy Carter ex-pollster Pat Caddell appealed to Obama to not run again in a Wash Post op-ed. And on Fox News where Hillaryites Schoen and Caddell are paid hired guns pissing off the likes of Media Matters chronicling the transition of Schoen from diehard Dem, Fox News "Democratic pollster" to "Fox News Contributor" to Hannity potted plant to Republican fund raiser to "I'm still a Democrat, just barely." Shlinko de Mayo?A year later in 2011 Schoen and Caddell recycled their "one and done" one-note samba in the Wall Street Journal pissing off Dan Abrams's Mediaite. Last month Schoen dangled "a mystery candidate" on Fox News. Mystery meet? I'm intrigued as to why The Daily...
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CNN Aborts Correspondent's 'Celebrity' Baby Shower
Meet Naibe Reynoso. CNN's equivalent of the Secret Service's Colombian hookers. A journalist WHO covers . . . CNN covering its ass after Gawker got what it calls a "press release" (CNN calls it a "blog post") from "two-time Emmy winner CNN Espanol correspondent" Reynoso's (CNN calls her a "freelancer") PR whores pimping her baby shower as a chance to get free media coverage and a for corporations willing to fork over hundreds of dollars for "Company Logo Placement on Step/Repeat Red Carpet," and stuff "celebrity gift bags." Gawker quotes from the "blog post": "This will be a great opportunity to introduce your products to the mass media as she pitches many of her own stories to the networks and blogs about her favorite products." In other words, Naibe Reynoso would like to use her baby shower as an opportunity for professional graft."It didn't take long for CNN to issue this, claiming the PR rogues sent out the press release without Reynoso's "knowledge."...
More About: Baby , Celebrity , Courtney Friel
CNN: The Most Thrusted Name In News
Get the hook for CNN.The latest thrust comes from Huffington Post columnist Jason Linkins in a cutting column that beheads the once-proud cable news network strongman Ted Turner lamented (on Piers Morgan Thursday) "I wanted CNN to be the New York Times." Not the NYDN. Ted, don't insult the New York Daily News .Dictator CNN's reign crumbled slowly after the arrival of insurgents Fox News and MSNBC in 1996. For a few years CNN managed to fend off rivals with breaking news. NYT's Brian Stelter: "people tune in to CNN, the same way they hurry to a hospital when they think they are having a heart attack."But now those people flock to Fox. Anderson Cooper chats with a hologram.Parry this, CNN. Linkins's last line in what amounts to Saddam Hussein 's final insult before death -- a knife thrust up the doomed dictator's derriere: "Did you know, that in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their sword...
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Ann Romney's Bird Shirt: La Cage Aux Foul
"That is one seriously overpriced top!" Media gossip magnate and MSNBC ex-general manager, show host, NBC legal analyst Dan Abrams's clothes whores site Styleite on Ann Romney's $990 bird shirt. Overpriced like, say, Michelle Obama's $540 Lanvin tennis shoes she wore to sling soup at a DC food bank in 2009? "Super casual" chimed the Huffington Post on Obama and sister slinger Jill Biden's garb.Mediaite -- another cog in Dan Abrams's web wheel -- the male blogger recalling the interminable news cycle over Obama bird of prey Hilary Rosen's Ann Romney's never worked a day in her life, chastises MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell for deliberately stepping in bird shit: "I say this because I care: why, Lawrence, why?" Ann Romney's $990 Reed Krakoff top as seen on CBS This Morning (the most buzz for CBS This Morning since Oprah appeared with BFF hostess Gayle) equals 11 pairs of unrepentant socialist Lawrence O'Donnell's $88 socks. Women's Wear Daily's 2011 intervi...
More About: Shoes , Shirt , Bird
Barack Obama's Sexual HeelingMore articles from this author:
1982. The year Marvin Gaye embarrassed his reverend father (who shot and killed his rogue son two years later) with his top 40 hit "Sexual Healing." ("Please don't procrastinate. It's not good to masturbate.")*The same year Barack Obama was relieving himself with a white chick he traded in the next year for for an Aussie whom he met in NYC while at Columbia eerily resembling his mother.Genevieve Cook outs Obama's Dreams of My Father "composite white girl" in June Vanity Fair. When he ceased crooning Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" in 1985 the Aussie predicted: "That lithe, bubbly, strong black lady is waiting somewhere!"Obama took his "sexual warmth" and "guarded, controlled" cold "mixture of smells" self elsewhere. Genevieve had the foresight to hold on to her Obama diary which she gave to VF's David Maraniss. Somebody flesh out this obvious planted story and tell me why the Obama campaign authorized Maraniss and the chicks to chat.Well this should quell th...
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