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TVs Worst BlogTVs Worst BlogA sideways critiques of UK TV's worst adverts 
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Lambrini - Do the Lambrini
2007-10-01 11:42:00 I’ve started my descent into middle age. I listen to Radio 2, I wear slippers and haven’t been to a night club since, if I remember rightly, just before decimalisation (or shortly there after). The main reason for not having been to a night club for so long is because I like to go to ...
Alpen - Dirty Talk
2007-09-29 14:25:00 SEX! Yeah, that got your attention, didn’t it? To be fair to you, you were probably already thinking about sex. Because that’s all you ever think about, isn’t it? The only reason you get out of bed in the morning is so you can get back in it later and have sex. As you ride the train to ... More About: Talk , Dirty , Alpen
Cadbury?s Dairy Milk - Gorilla Playing Drums
2007-09-27 23:00:00 Now, I think this entry in TVs Worst Adverts is going to be slightly contentious but… Without wanting to sound more pompous than Noel Edmonds does on Deal or No Deal (”Welcome to the Dream Factory…”) I like to think that TVs Worst Adverts is a conduit for you, the general TV advert hating public to ... More About: Milk , Cadbury , Drums , Dairy , Gorilla
Apple?s New iPod Nano
2007-09-22 11:37:00 I don’t have an iPod and I’m not obsessed by all things Apple . That’s not supposed to sound like one of those ridiculous boasts that only really smug people say. You know the sort, you ask them if they watched last night’s Eastenders and they tell you that they “don’t even own a television” as if ... More About: Ipod , Ipod nano , Nano
Mazda 2 - It?s Fit
2007-09-19 07:52:00 “Zoom Zoom” That’s the sound of the Mazda 2 advert flying way over my head. “Mazda 2 . It’s Fit” claims the tag line at the end of their advert. What the monkey does that mean? I’m thinking that it may be a translation error from the original bollocks in which this marketing campaign was thought up. Do you mean ...
Volvo - The Wheels on the Car
2007-09-16 16:37:00 Remember Volvo ? If you’ve ever worn tweed, lived in the South-East or attended a gymkhana circa 1988, the chances are you do. It was your car of choice in the 1980’s and for the start of the 1990’s. They were sensible, reliable, and above all safe. You could do the school run comforted by the knowledge that ... More About: Wheels , Heel , Eels , The Car
Asdas - Ian Wright ?Trainee Fishmonger?
2007-09-15 17:18:00 We’ve got a dog. Sometimes we like to wind it up so much that he can’t sit still and runs round and round in circles. It makes us laugh. We say that he’s got a great personality but he hasn’t really. He’s just hyperactive. And we deliberately make him that way. Also, if we’re watching something ... More About: Trainee , Wright , TRAI , Ian Wright
Nintendo DS - Nicole Kidman
2007-09-09 10:46:00 I love Simon Pegg. Not in a sexual way, of course. Or do I? No. No I don’t. No, I love Simon Pegg thanks to Spaced. I don’t think that I could ever get bored watching Mike dance in the night club, or the look on Brian’s face when Marsha, fag in hand, says “Hello ... More About: Nicole Kidman , Nintendo , Nicole , Nico , Nintendo Ds
Olay Regenerist - The Worst Kept Secret
2007-09-07 07:56:00 Oh dear God, she’s back. Nadine “I used to be able to smile” Baggott. And she’s still insisting that she’s a “Celebrity Beauty Editor” but she’s still not telling us what that is. Although if we watch the new advert closely, as David Frost used to tell us, the clues are there: Yep, being a Celebrity Beauty Editor ... More About: Secret , Neri
Thompson Holidays - Travel with a Smile
2007-09-07 07:36:00 In the new Thom pson Holidays advert, as we watch a cartoon plane fly the long way around a cartoon world the voice over tells us: “3 nights in Ibiza. 5 nights in New York. 11 nights in Mexico. How long do you want to go for? With Thompson, you decide.” Letting me pick how long I want ... More About: Travel , Smile
August?s TV?s Worst Advert Award
2007-09-03 20:18:00 Sorry for the delay on this month’s TV’s Worst Advert Award , I’ve been on a 3 day retreat to pay tribute to the life and death of the Princess of Wales. And let me tell you, I had a whale of a time in Paris. Dossing at the Ritz then bazzing it up round the ... More About: August , Vert
Polaris World - Spanish Villas
2007-08-30 20:53:00 Now, there’s a fine line between witty comment about the terrible state of British TV adverts and extreme racism. So I’m going to tread carefully with this one but…. Did they deliberately ask Jose from Polaris World to get his word order wrong? Were they concerned that we, the viewers, wouldn’t really know that Polaris World ... More About: Spanish , Span , Villas
Head & Soulders - Everyone Knows a Bloke Like Mickey
2007-08-27 10:06:00 Ah social networking, isn’t it great? Networking, socially, brilliant fun. Except I’d never really got in to it. I do have a MySpace page for this blog but I don’t look after it. I haven’t made any friend requests and I never update my page. Worse than that, the only people that want to be my friends ... More About: Head , Blok , Mickey
Cillit Bang - In Action
2007-08-24 07:58:00 Making fun of the Cillit Bang adverts is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel. When they first appeared on our screens, with the human-mega phone Barry Scott (”BANG! AND THE DIRT IS GONE”) as the company figure head, they seemed to be “joke” adverts. Surely no-one is actually using adverts this shit to ... More About: Action
Norwich Union - Norwich Union Life Insurance with Ross Kemp
2007-08-16 10:20:00 I love Ross Kemp. He’s my favourite cardboard cut-out on the box. He’s rightly become a highly regarded televisual acting personality (despite looking like a slightly retarded baked potato - albeit an adorable one). I loved him on Eastenders where he played Grant an ex-soldier. I sat open-jawed as I watched Kemp with all the emotions ... More About: Life , Insurance , Union , Life Insurance
Sun Bingo - B.I.N.G.O.
2007-08-13 10:37:00 There are simply no words to describe the following advert for the Sun newspaper’s online bingo game. Oh sweet Jesus, save us all… More About: Bingo , Bing
Nivea Visage Oxygen Power - Too Busy To Breath
2007-08-11 22:36:00 As part of our continuing battle to deny the most basic facts of life (we’re born, we age, we die) some of us will do anything to keep the wool pulled firmly over our own eyes. Don’t get me wrong though, our ultimate goal is not to live forever but simply to look like we’re still ... More About: Power , Breath , Nivea , Oxygen , Brea
Orange - Gigs and Tours
2007-08-11 00:17:00 I, like everyone else, often wondered how the staff at the Early Learning Centre maintain their sanity. They work in a shop where they are subjected to, not only the sound of mewling children, but to the 21st century’s version of Brian Cant singing some twee little plinky-plonky song about “ABC”s and “123″s from 9 ... More About: Tours , Orange , Range
Hiscox - Something Beautiful
2007-08-08 23:01:00 It’s too not much of an exaggeration to say I was mesmerised the first time I saw this advert. The tension of the music. The drama of the thunder clouds. The resolution of that tension and drama as the rain drops start to fall. It’s got some lovely camera shots and is really well put together. “Have ... More About: Beautiful , Some
RSPCA - Simon Cowell and Fearne Cotton
2007-08-06 22:24:00 Is this a spoof? I’m fairly certain that it is Simon Cowell doing this advert but he sounds like he doesn’t really give a shit about animals particularly when set against the most enthusiastic person on Earth (”Wow, animal cruelty! That’s great. I mean it’s great that it’s so terrible…” etc ) Fearne Cotton . I realise that ... More About: Well , Fearne Cotton
Oral B - Pulsar Toothbrush - The Whole World Has A Pulse
2007-08-03 23:15:00 I thought that after Mitchell and Webb parodied the toothbrush design meeting (what with M&W being as ubiquitous as Little Britain but slightly less trashy) that toothbrush manufacturers and advertisers might have got the message. As the woman from M&W laments: “We may have run out of things to tell them they need on their toothbrush.” But, ... More About: World , Whole , Oral , Puls , Pulse
Sarah Jessica Parker - Covet
2007-08-02 22:31:00 Julia Roberts. Oh sweet Julia. How I love thee. But you have to admit, she’s a woman who can turn from one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood to He-Man’s arch-nemesis in the blink of an eye. But at least she is some times inexplicably attractive. Sarah Jessica Parker , on the other hand, isn’t. She ... More About: Covet
Vauxhall - Eco Flex
2007-08-01 15:32:00 The whole world is going green. Well, except maybe for the US and India and China and really, let’s face it, the UK. So maybe I should start again, the whole world isn’t going green but we’re doing a bit of recycling. We love recycling because it makes us feel like we’re saving the planet ... More About: Flex , Vauxhall
July?s TV?s Worst Advert Award!
2007-07-31 12:49:00 It’s been another busy month here at TV’s Worst Advert s and I’d like to say a big “Thank You” to all you who have contributed by submitting your bad ads. But especially: Lee Wodge Mike To everyone else that submitted: I’ll try and be a bit more prolific in the future and post the ads that you hate so ... More About: Award , July , Vert
RAC - Vinnie Jones: ?Not the Orange One?
2007-07-30 17:19:00 If there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to get me to buy something it’s the threat of physical violence. I’m sure that you, like me, only have a Stannah Stair Lift in your house because of that advert with Thora Hird in where she threatened to break your knee caps if you didn’t buy one. And I’ve just ... More About: Orange , Jones , Vinnie Jones , Range , The O
Picture Loan - Dad?s Found Your Scooter
2007-07-22 23:09:00 I can say 3 words in a Geordie accent: Cake Photocopier Conjunctivitis Genuinely that’s it. But that’s still makes me better at Geordie accents than the women from the Picture Loan s advert: She should have her Equity card taken off her, torn into a thousand pieces and thrown into the Tyne. Disgraceful. Anyways, I’ve mentioned before that I think adverts for ... More About: Scooter
AA - You?ve Got A Friend
2007-07-22 11:14:00 Retro is the current Zeitgeist in the AA advertising department. Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the evidence. In one of their insurance adverts they references the classic line: “He’s a nice man. He’s a very nice man. He’s a very, very nice man.” Despite the painful depiction of the 2 ageing hippies, the AA have scored good ... More About: Friend
Trident - Parachute Jump
2007-07-21 11:23:00 Trident and their Mastication for the Nation TV adverts have been a thorn in my side for some time now. Thanks to the voting system here at TVs Worst Adverts, I know that quite a few of you aren’t too keen on the adverts either and after his recent post I think it’s fair to say ... More About: Jump , Chute
Becks Beer - Only Four Steps
2007-07-18 23:14:00 Let the Becks Vier Beer advert be a lesson to us all. I loved this advert. I thought it was quirky, original and everything fitted together in a very clever way - reinforcing the message: “Only Ever Four Steps ”. Just plain brilliant. I loved it so much that if I weren’t tea-total, after seeing this advert ...
Vauxhall Corsa - C?Mon Out of Bed
More articles from this author:2007-07-15 00:22:00 Sticking with the car theme, here’s the latest advert from Vauxhall for their Corsa: Every time I see one of these adverts I think to myself: “God, I’m so not in the demographic they’re targeting here”. There’s a couple of reasons for this thought: Firstly, whenever I hear Sean Paul singing, regardless of the words, all I ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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