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TVs Worst BlogTVs Worst BlogA sideways critiques of UK TV's worst adverts Articles
Ford Mondeo - Desire
2007-07-10 23:33:00 What shit lives we all have. We all live in London or the ‘burbs. We eat and drink in miserable, near empty cafes. We work as car park attendants, sat by ourselves for 8 hours a day with just the Daily Mail for company. And worse, our shit world and shit lives have made our ... More About: Ford , Ford Mondeo
MFI - Dont Start
2007-07-06 10:09:00 Oh, domestic bliss. How we all yearn for it. That’s why I love the MFI advert so much… “WHAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS?” Whoa! Calm down love I was just trying to write a blog entry about the new MFI advert. I think it’s possible THE worst on TV at the moment. The way it displays ... More About: Start
June?s TV?s Worst Advert Award!
2007-06-30 23:30:00 It’s been a funny month here at TV’s Worst Advert s (obviously I’m not referring to any of the posts). First of all we’ve had some comments left by actual TV advert actors. In this celebrity crazy society that we all live in, I think that counts as have actual somebody’s (I’m not calling the rest of ... More About: June , Award , Ward , Vert
Johnson?s Holiday Skin
2007-06-23 17:44:00 Do you know who I hate? White women. With their white little faces, and their shiny white legs. Oh and God don’t get me started on their glare inducing torsos. White women make me sick. In fact, one day I saw one in the street and I was so horrified when I got home my wife ... More About: Skin , Holiday , Johnson , Johns
Lynx Vice
2007-06-23 00:08:00 Praise the Lord! This ad’s quality is oh so much better. A se7en style police detective plot with a pretty convincing Morgan Freeman look-a-like. But you can’t polish a turd. And as long as the underlying message is still there the Lynx adverts will be in the running for the “Biggest Piece of Bullshit” on tele ... More About: Vice
Scholl Cracked Heels Cream
2007-06-17 01:04:00 Some people are vain. That’s an undeniable fact. I present to the court exhibit A - Victoria Beckham. But just how vain do Scholl think people are? In their latest advert for cracked heel cream, there’s a women on an escalator who is embarrassed to be seen in public because she has cracked heels! Jesus H Christ! ... More About: Holl , Cream , Heels , Heel , Eels
Motorola - Moto Z8
2007-06-10 10:53:00 The first time the new Moto rola Moto Z8 advert came on the TV I thought “Film of horses through the ages; it’s gonna be for a car”. But it’s not for a car. Then it takes that film of horses from the movies twist, so maybe it’s for the Equine Stutman’s Society. But it’s not ...
Glade - Touch and Fresh It?s All Gone
2007-06-09 00:23:00 Do you know what I really hate about doing shits? It’s not that I always have to do one when I get to the in-laws’ house and that their toilet is right next to the living room so everyone can hear me straining (I know this to be true, I have heard others *plop*). And ... More About: Touch , Fresh , Ouch , Glad
May?s TV?s Worst Advert Award!
2007-05-31 19:52:00 The winner of this month’s TV’s Worst Advert s award goes to: Oh, hang on, it’s a 3-way tie for first place… 3 perfect 5’s! Well, the top 10 looks like this (with scores): Trident - 5 Clover - 5 Churchills - 5 Dulco Ease 4.87 H&M - 4.86 Ocean Finance - 4.7 Trident - 4.5 OLAY - 4.36 Halifax - 4.33 IAMS - 4.33 So, dear Readers, ... More About: Award , Ward , Vert
Mars Planets
2007-05-30 23:08:00 Oh people! Aren’t they idiots? More stupid than your average door handle. Less memory power than the piece of chewing gum I trod in today. They couldn’t remember their own name even if it was “x” and it was tattooed on the insides of their eye-lids. But surely they can remember the ingredients of a chocolate ... More About: Mars , Planets , Plan , Anet
Trident - Mastication Campaigners
2007-05-25 15:22:00 Trident are back from the shame of having their last set of tv adverts pulled off the air due to, what some people thought was, racism. And unless they’re selling bomber jackets, hob-nail boots, hair clippers, string vests, sovereign rings, and jeans with turn ups, being accused of racism goes down pretty badly with a ... More About: Mast
Foxy Bingo
2007-05-19 23:43:00 This advert gets filed under the What the Monkey category. I’m going to ignore the *women love idle chit-chat* element of the advert and go straight to the I don’t get why fox striding round the silent world is just so posh. I’m not the only one either. Craig, who submitted this bad ad says: “The ... More About: Bingo , Foxy , Bing
Phones 4 U - Wooden Hand
2007-05-19 09:57:00 We’ve got a long and great history of grotesque in the UK: from church gargoyles to Alice in Wonderland to Nadine Baggott. Oh and freak shows! We love them even more than the grotesque. You know if it’s not midgets, then it’s the Elephant Man. If it’s not the Elephant Man then it’s Peter and ... More About: Phones , Hand , Wooden
Strongbow - Total First Pint Refreshment
2007-05-12 13:17:00 There’s a danger when your advert has a single idea or hook (regardless of how good that idea actually is) that it can very quickly become annoying. This has happened with Strongbow’s Total First Pint Refresh ment advert. Because although at first I thought it was mildly amusing, now whenever it comes on all I hear is ... More About: Fresh , Tron
SCS - £5 Million Give Away!
2007-05-10 21:10:00 We had a bank holiday over here in the UK this week which means getting stuck for hours on a congested motorway, a visit to the seaside even though it’s minus 5 degrees and pelting it down, or going to one of the great bank holiday super-bargain mega-saver give-aways at the shops (or in fact, ... More About: Give , Million , Away
BASF - Invisble Contribution
2007-05-03 23:30:00 Woah! Talk about a hard sell. Alright it’s not like they’re pushing “Puppy Torturing” or “Stealing Children’s Sweets” but trying to advertise a chemical company is pretty tough work. Chemicals, it’s fair to say, have a pretty bad reputation. And people who make and sell chemicals, well, theirs is probably worse. But, in their latest advert, ... More About: Contribution , Tribu
April?s TV?s Worst Advert Award!
2007-04-30 20:35:00 The winner of this month’s TV’s Worst Advert award goes to: Ocean Finance for their Long Grass abomination. A perfect 5. Well Done. So the Top 10 looks like this: Ocean Finance - Long Grass. Average Score: 5 out of 5 Dulco Ease. Average Score: 4.86 out of 5 H&M. Average Score: 4.75 out of 5 OLAY. Average Score: 4.6 ... More About: April , Award , Ward , Vert
Vauxhall - Panoramic - Astra
2007-04-30 09:30:00 This is one of those adverts where I have more a problem with the product than I do with the advert itself but it’s made it here anyway. Every time I see that bloke get out of his car and push the top of the picture up (that sentence makes sense once you’ve seen the advert) ... More About: Hall , Nora , Stra , Vauxhall , Astra
McCoy?s - Puppy Love
2007-04-28 17:06:00 We?ve covered the way stereotypical behaviour of women is portrayed in adverts here before, so it?s only fair that we cover that of men. So here goes: McCoy’s crisps ?ridged, thick and unashamedly colossal? depiction of men in their latest advert as homophobic, junior gangsters, without an ounce of loyalty makes me proud to be a ... More About: Love , Puppy
Stanley Knife - Tea Break
2007-04-27 20:38:00 Some times your product is so good and so popular that it becomes a victim of its own success. It does its job perfectly, everyone has one and, hey, they last for ever so why would they buy another? So your company has become as big as it can do and your profits don’t seem ... More About: Break , Stanley , Knife , Brea
Kellogg?s Frosties - The Opera
2007-04-21 22:42:00 You surely must have seen that story in the news recently about Richard Gere’s and Shilpa Shetty’s kiss causing public outrage in India. In fact some religious sections of the Indian public were so outraged that they rioted and sent death threats to the pair. Now, regardless of what you believe in, isn’t having had ... More About: Opera , Frost , The O , Kell , Rosti
Ocean Finance - Long Grass
2007-04-21 09:42:00 When you?re desperate, you?ll do anything for money: Sell your cherished record collection, sleep with your best friends mum, appear in an Ocean Finan ce advert. That was the sad choice the actors in the latest Ocean Finance advert had to make. Poor desperate fools. And you know, it?s this kind of desperation that fuels loans companies. ... More About: Long , Grass
Bold - Shirt Dress
2007-04-17 20:38:00 How do you know if it’s time to get a new girlfriend? Here is a sure-fire list to tell if it’s time to get a new special lady: Your girlfriend confesses she really wants to look like Nadine Baggott off that Olay advert. Your girlfriend spends, not only all of her money, but all of your money ... More About: Dress , Shirt
I?d like to thank my agent?
2007-04-16 20:17:00 It’s that time of year again when we in the *blogosphere* like to give ourselves a jolly well deserved pat on the back. Yes, it’s Bloggers Choice Awards time. Even though TVs Worst Adverts has only been going for a few weeks, a very astute, urbane and all round good egg has nominated us for a ... More About: Agent , Like , Hank , Gent
Halifax
2007-04-15 21:03:00 There’s a section of the male populous that believes if they ever even so much as happen to see a musical let alone *sharp intake of breath* enjoy a musical that they will have to run out into the street and butt fuck the first policeman, construction worker, Indian chief, sailor or cowboy that they ... More About: Hali
Carling C2 - Robots
2007-04-14 20:11:00 I’m not too ashamed to admit that there are times when I watch an advert and I really just don’t know what the monkey it’s about. The new one from Carl ing for their C2 beer is one of *those* adverts. For those of you that haven’t seen it yet, how lazy are you? All you have ... More About: Robots , Bots , Arli , Robo
Carling C2
2007-04-14 20:11:00 I’m not too ashamed to admit that there are times when I watch an advert and I really just don’t know what the monkey it’s about. The new one from Carl ing for their C2 beer is one of *those* adverts. For those of you that haven’t seen it yet, how lazy are you? All you have ... More About: Arli
T-Mobile Street Check
2007-04-12 22:11:00 Now there is a certain demographic out there that likes listening to *singer-songwriters*. And oh sweet Jesus, I’m one of them. Jose Gonzalez? Lovely. Damien Jurado? Heart-broken heaven. James Blunt? Well I don’t like them all. Advertisers have probably seen some data that links people who like to listen to *singer songwriters* and people who ... More About: Mobile , T-Mobile , Street , Check , Tree
Stena Line Ferries
2007-04-11 19:35:00 Silence! Silence at the back! Please will you all join me in prayer: “Oh dear God. All powerful and swift to punish. I know we have sinned but please save us from the terrible cruelty placed upon us by Stena Line . They who think 50 year old marketing men can capture a new, young audience by ... More About: Ferries , Ferr , Tena
Activia
More articles from this author:2007-04-10 20:31:00 I was thinking twice whether to blog this because it’s a bit *old hat* but they insist on still showing the damned adverts, so here it is. Sometimes adverts are for stuff that you need, sometimes they are for stuff that you want and sometimes they are for stuff that no-one wants and they definitely don’t ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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