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Oooh Yay, A Holiday
2008-01-30 16:42:00
It?s that time for another useless holiday. You know, one of these days I am just going to sit down, invent my own holiday and use this blog to tirelessly promote it. In fact, maybe one day I?ll take your suggestions on such a day. Right now I?m leaning heavily on ?Glorify All Things Fried Day.? But that?s another topic for another day. I want to also have a ?Put It Off Until Tomorrow Day,? but it always seems to get postponed. Get it? Seriously, these are the jokes people?Back to today, however. Today is Write To Congress Day. It might not really seem like that fun of a holiday, but that?s where a little imagination comes in. You kinda have to read between the lines and realize that the holiday doesn?t say WHAT we have to write to Congress about today. Are you with me yet? Not that we need to turn this into a letter to Santa or anything, but we can write to Congress about whatever we want, at least that?s how I interpret it.So then, what should one write to Congress abo...
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Another Round Of Bullets
2008-01-29 16:55:00
* I think that inserting the name Huckabee into any sentence automatically makes that sentence sound dirty. Go ahead, try it. The dirty factor increased, didn?t it?* Never stick your leg out in wild, goofy excitement as you are doing 40 miles an hour through an old dry desert riverbed while on a quad. You know, if by some random circumstance you get the chance to. Your unbroken ankle will thank you.* While typing out your daily to-do list at work and it includes items such as ?callback lady for job interview at _____? and ?update blog links,? don?t print it while EVERYONE is in the office, even if no one happens to be at the SHARED printer at that exact moment.* When driving through the desert in the dark, don?t try to make 5 year olds think that you just saw Bigfoot to increase the exciting during a long drive. Wait until they are about 10 or so; they?ll sleep much better then.* When you share Crème Brule with a coworker and they leave a few bites of the burnt sugary goo...
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I Know Where He?s Going To End Up?
2008-01-28 16:28:00
The AP reported that a burglar in Texas made off with some special booty recently. Was he a pirate? No, I just felt like typing the word booty. The thief broke into a car only to find the local Bishop?s crown sitting there just waiting for him. And yes, for the record, he stole it.Now, I imagine there are two sides (one good, one bad) to stealing an important accessory from a religious figure. On the positive side, you (as a burglar) have that whole Judeo-Christian ?forgiveness? thing working for you. I suppose that means you can parade around for a week or two with the crown, take pictures with it, let your dog wear it, put it on the dashboard, get all Bishopy with the spouse, reenact a chess game using real people, wear it for your league night down at the bowling alley, wear it to the Lakers game so you get on the jumbo-screen or teach your cat to jump through it. And then after all that, you can return it quietly and anonymously guilt-free, knowing that you are forgiven. ...

Should I Live In A ?Van Down By The River??
2008-01-25 09:08:00
I hope you get that SNL reference. If not I am going to continue anyway. Just Google or Wikipedia Matt Foley. Or I suppose you could just look at the photo to the left. Yeah, that might be a little easier. I forgot about the photo thing when I was writing this?Any who, I was on the time stealer Facebook last night and saw an ad posted that seriously attracted my attention. I also saw one for Office show merchandise, and the fact that I am not blogging about that should tell you just how interested I was in the other ad. It was an ad (and maybe you have seen it, or even clicked on it) that said something like: BECOME A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER. I couldn?t get over my excitement. Me becoming a motivational speaker? Why, I?ve always wondered how to get into this exciting field of helping others while getting to stand in front of them while talking encouragingly.What qualifications do I possess for this, you ask. Well, I stood in front of both Lucy AND Ethel and spoke to them encouragingly ...
More About: River , Live

Ten Reasons I Should Not Have Gone Into Work Wednesday
2008-01-24 09:32:00
10. By 11AM, I had offended 3 of the 5 women in our office. Apparently, telling a coworker that she moves very fast for an 8 ½ month pregnant woman is not seen as the compliment that I intended it to be.9. It turns out that greeting each and every person in our office by name every time I passed them at their desks both coming and going in an effort to lighten the mood of our office did not work like I thought it would. How do I know this? I was asked to stop greeting each and every person in our office by name every time I passed them both coming and going.8. For some reason, when I was putting important dates on my calendar, I mistook Wednesday , January 23rd for Wednesday, January 30th. Turns out my boss didn?t. I think this was because an important report was due today ? January 23rd and not next week - January 30th, like I thought it was when I wrote it on my Dunder-Mifflin/Office calendar.7. I was asked to stop singing Hank Jr.?s ?Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound? by a coworker as I...
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A Little Too Quick There, Huh?
2008-01-23 09:33:00
I just read an AFP News Service story about the death of an 81-year-old man in Chile. Well, he was 81 and from Chili, but apparently he wasn?t so dead. His family found him and thought he was dead so they called a funeral home and commenced the grieving. The story says that he woke up at his own wake. Actually, that?s kind of funny. I mean what better time to wake up then at a wake. You wouldn?t expect anyone to wake up at a sleepover, right? If I was the old man, that is when I would hop out of the coffin and start asking my family probing questions (well that and lamenting that fact that I grew old so quickly that I can no longer play basketball or do the Macarena). Asking them why they were in such a hurry to bury me that they didn?t notice I was STILL BREATHING comes to mind. That question would be followed shortly thereafter with one for the funeral home operators. Nothing serious, just wanting to know where they earned their license and stuff like that. Yes, the lice...
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It?s The Super Pack!!
2008-01-22 17:05:00
Some folks tend to make a lot out of dreams and what they mean and all that. I?ve never been much for that, but I did wake up this morning with a particularly memorable one. Although please keep in mind that I also dreamt last night that I had tea and spaghetti on a yacht with Burt Reynolds and the mid-1960s Mary Tyler Moore, if that helps you put things in perspective.The dream that brought me to the blogging table this morning had to do with something my best friend and I saw while at Target. It was a large box in the toy section (come on, we all know that most grown men still like hanging out in the toy section) and inside of it were action figures. But these weren?t just your run of the mill figures, it was the key members of the Rat Pack : Sinatra, Deano and Sammy and a bunch on non-descript ?bad guys? packaged together. We were both supremely impressed with how cool it was that the Rat Pack had finally been immortalized in little plastic figure form. In fact, in my dream ...
More About: Super , The Super

500
2008-01-18 09:16:00
So this is my 500th post. For those of you coming here expecting to take part in my 500th Post Extravaganza and Meat Buffet, well let me just say sorry. The funding fell through so in the words of bad tourist shirts everywhere, all you get is this crummy post. It?s odd sitting down to write this post just so that I can say I wrote number 500. But alas, that?s what I?m doing and your are stuck reading it. It?s amazing to me to think that I have written 500 posts. I mean if I wrote one post a year, it would take 500 years to accomplish, though I?d be dead and only get 60-80 posts in. If I wrote a post a day, it would take about a year and a half. Oh wait, I guess that?s kinda what I did and it certainly doesn?t seem as impressive as the 500 year thing?I wish I could remember my last 499, but they are a blur of bad jokes, cheese, paying homage to Fred Willard and certain veiled references to me knowing the entire plot of the new Indian Jones movie, provided you got the clues I ...

This Post Will Be Easy
2008-01-17 09:32:00
When I checked one of the ?today?s highly questionable but somehow official holidays are? websites, I was struck immediately by the fact that today (1/16 when I am writing this) is National Nothing Day. So, today?s post will strive to honor such a meaningless and insignificant holiday. I have no idea who created this holiday but in the spirit of the day, I really don?t care. I say this knowing full well that it?s probably someone who I could get along with very well. How does one celebrate National Nothing Day? Let?s just say I don?t figure on writing too many more paragraphs today. It is a shame though that National Nothing Day happens to occur when it does because I really need to get busy planning Friday?s big 500th Post Extravaganza and Meat Buffet. I have to line up guests who I made fun of in my 499 previous posts (which strangely enough is proving very difficult to do), figure out how the heck to get a fireworks permit, come up with an illness I haven?t already ?had? so...
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These Shoes Are Made For Changin?
2008-01-16 09:39:00
I swear that the story you are about to read is real. It might sound fabricated, but I assure you that it is true as the stories of Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. Wait, that?s not really helping my argument, is it? Well, just rest assured that the story is true?I must preface this TRUE story with a little background. I have never thought of myself as a fashionable individual or as someone who really cares about fashion. If I am in jeans and a t-shirt or shorts and a t-shirt, I have achieved my pinnacle of high fashion. If you catch me in an untucked button down shirt, then there?s a good chance someone has died or is getting married, or possibly I am on my way to a job interview. There was something that happened on the way in this morning that made me think perhaps I might just care a little more about fashion than I would like to believe. And this is what happened?On my drive in this morning I was fretting that while I have post ideas for my 500th post in a few days an...
More About: Shoes , Made

Repost For No Particular Reason: I?m Dying To Fly With You
2008-01-15 09:38:00
Every now and then, I come across ?real? news that makes me jealous that I could not have thought up something so unimaginable. I guess that?s why they call it unimaginable though. Reuters posted a story this morning of a man who woke up in a first class airline seat next to a corpse. Apparently, a woman in economy passed away after take-off and they could not keep her body from shifting and falling out of her chair because of turbulence. The recently deceased and her distraught daughter were upgraded for the remainder of the flight, which of course is the absolute least that the airline could have done for the lady and the body of her mother. Reports that British Airways is considering changing its name to R.I.P. Airlines are inaccurate. This all brings new meaning to the term departure, doesn?t it? I know this is a story I should leave alone, but I can?t. Hey, I?ll be dead one day too and I invite people to make as many jokes at my expense as they want.One can only imagine the sig...
More About: Reason , Dying

This Will Be Good To Keep In Mind
2008-01-14 09:26:00
Finally, finally, finally. I have been waiting for some good news like this. In fact, I imagine most of us have. With news like this maybe we can use it to get a little more down time at work. Or home. What am I talking about? Uh, I can?t remember, that?s why I kept hyping it up trying to bide time until I could remember what made me take pen to paper (or fingers to the keyboard) in the first place. Oh that?s right, it just came to me. And by came to me, I mean after a 2 hour session of pacing, mumbling and head scratching. A recent news story I read said that researchers now believe that naps can help lock in long term memories. So, we now have scientific proof (kind of) that naps are good for us (kind of). Are you looking ahead here? Are you seeing how this could be advantageous to the work force?Let?s put it this way in the form of my carefully drafted mock conversation: ?I?m sorry boss man/woman. I can?t remember what you asked me to do. Oh, I had a big report due?...
More About: Mind , Good

The Scent Of Work
2008-01-11 09:46:00
It has been a while since I last blogged about work. For the record, it?s been even longer since I blogged AT work, ya know my visit from HR and all of that. OK, disclaimer aside, by 10am today, I was reminded that I probably should not be working with other people. However, they are still paying me to show up, so against my better judgment I keep going in. It all began as I got my normal morning cup of coffee at our little ?coffee station.? I noticed for the first time that there was a container of half and half near the creamer and sugar. I asked where it came from and was told that it was brought in by Miss Single. Because she is so good at giving me a hard time, like yesterday when she dangled a slice of caramel apple cheesecake in my face (as well as one can manage to dangle a slice of pie) after I accused her of trying to fatten me up with all the candy she had been sharing, I commented to myself out loud (which is harder to do than you might imagine) that she must have troub...
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Time To Get Your Politic On, Baby
2008-01-10 09:33:00
One of my favorite bloggers has done a few posts lately about her fascination and excitement with the launch of Presidential Primary season. She’s really into it. Oh yeah, I should mention that she is Canadian. That fact has got me thinking I’m not living up to my full potential or exercising my American rights with regard to politics. Let me explain in a little more detail. I hear the name Hillary and I think instantly of Sir Edmund Hillary, the first confirmed summiter of Mt. Everest. I hear the name Barack and think of lots of bun beds in a row. I know that’s ‘barrack’ but I can’t help what I think. If I could, I wouldn’t cry hysterically every time I sit down in my little cubicle or get goosebumps whenever I see the perfect cube of cheese arranged on a fancy platter (which isn’t near often enough, by the way). I hear the name Huckabee and giggle like a 12 year old school girl, I hear the name Ron Paul and think of Pat Paulsen from The Smothers Brothers Sh...
More About: Baby , Time , Politic

Wonderful World Of Nothing's Parenting Question Of The Week
2008-01-09 16:45:00
As most of you know, I have two identical 5 year old twin girls, Lucy and Ethel. Wait, that makes it sound like I have 4 girls or 2 pair of twins and I named two of them Lucy and two of them Ethel. That's not right though. Man I hate the English language.Any hoo, I have decided to use the internet as the great resource it is and pose to you, my friends and readers, a parenting dilemma question every week (or so). Here is this week's parenting problem question:Does dimming the lights, playing this CD over and over and sipping apple juice out of totty glasses with the twins like we are Vegas royalty while playing Wii bowling make me a bad father? Or is it setting up my girls for failure thinking that it's ok to live life as though they were middle aged men from the 1960s?I thought it was all in good fun until I realized I was arm in arm with my twins singing Tom Jones' 'It's Not Unusual' and dancing as though we were the Brady Bunch performing on that local talent show to ...
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Randomicity
2008-01-08 17:16:00
Apparently thinking I had gotten all of the random thoughts out of the way last week was wrong. There are more and I want to share them with you. This serves two purposes. 1: Lets me get feedback from my favorite readers/commenters and 2: Gives me something to write about. And really, what blogger isn?t looking for good decent semi-coherent material? I know I am. It kind of reminds me of those great nights back in high school and college where I?d find myself a few pages short of the length requirement for my term papers and would open up women?s magazines like Cosmopolitan and start randomly quoting from them. I?m just kidding. There is no way I?d ever have the guts to try anything like that. I used Field and Stream?* Why isn?t Floam the world?s greatest packaging material? It?s part liquid and part foam. You?d think it was a shipper?s dream substance. Like Flubber to Fred MacMurry or silicone to Pamela Anderson.* I am beyond excited about our new Bass Pro Shop just up the road. I?...

Hold On, I?m Driving And Learning To Juggle
2008-01-07 17:09:00
The AP story I just read could make the statement above realistic within the next ten years. Apparently, officials at General Motors are saying that they could have cars that drive and park themselves in dealerships within 10 years. It sounds like a multi-tasker?s dream. Seriously, who hasn?t done battle with a CD case while trying to change CDs in the stereo while zooming down the highway? Who hasn?t accidentally swerved into another lane while trying to get the big rig driver next to you to blow his horn? Who hasn?t been awakened by the sound of a blaring horn coming from the car approaching you head on? Who hasn?t almost run into a ditch after being burned when seeing what it would feel like to stick your finger in the red-hot end of the cigarette lighter? Well, those are just examples. I am obviously not saying I have done any of those things.Let?s face it; computers and technology have become far smarter than we are. I actually find this a bit ironic since it?s us peop...
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Sunday Repost: It?s Pulled Pork Time In Georgia!
2008-01-06 19:18:00
A Georgia resident recently shot an 1100-pound wild hog says the Associated Press. The man shot the animal when he spotted it in a neighbor?s yard. After shooting the hog, he took it to a weight station to see just how big it was. This guy is just like me. Whenever I kill something, my first reaction is to drag it to the closest scale. Unfortunately, flies, mosquitoes and moths don?t weigh that much so the thrill is kind of lacking. Although it?s still not determined whether this hog is the biggest ever found in Georgia, it does weigh a few hundred pounds more than the famous ?Hogzilla? that was killed a few years ago. I guess that makes this pig Mothra-hog?It is now hanging from a tree in the man?s front yard, which is a good thing since houses always seem to look so bare after all the Christmas lights and decorations are taken down. The fact that it?s a dead obese animal and will probably start to have a horrible stench within the next few days is completely irrelevant, of course....
More About: Time , Sunday , Pork

Random Bullet Friday
2008-01-04 16:54:00
Well, another year has managed to come around, just like the random thoughts I try to ignore. So here it is, bullet time again?* Getting a bloody nose while showering gives you the rush that you are in a great horror movie. Just don?t bleed too much or the rush will feel much different.* Even though all the food and topping selections are tempting, take your time when at the salad bar. Confusing red pepper flakes for bacon bits can really alter the taste of your salad in an unexpected and rather uninviting way.* Before giving your young children chocolate to eat, please make sure they aren?t wearing brand new outfits.* No matter how much fun it is, coworkers just don?t appreciate you sounding out the entire theme music to ?Get Smart? with all ?bump, buh, bah, bah? sounds while you are trying to finish a project before the deadline. They also don?t appreciate the big James Bond ?whah, whah, whah? climatic ending. Damn, missed it by that much?* I?ve been kicking around motto...
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I Am An Athlete!
2008-01-03 16:08:00
Well OK, I am a Nintendo Wii athlete. Please don?t confuse that with what my Scottish friends might refer to as a wee bitty athlete, even though I?m not the tallest feller around. Since obtaining a Wii at Christmas time (I should mention here that doing so involved negotiating with ?gentlemen? who I think have portraits down at the wall of the post office and the divulging of my secret BBQ rub recipe. Of course, I left out two main ingredients and have already had to change residences and adopt a false identity in anticipation of these ?gentleman? discovering that; though this is all way off topic). I have spent the last few days excelling at tennis, baseball, boxing and bowling. The Wii came with golf, but even in game console form, I still can?t master that one. I have hit virtual baseballs out of the virtual park, had 3 strikes in a row while bowling, KO?d 8 straight boxing opponents (although 3 of them were Wii girls, which was a little odd, but don?t worry, I was polite: n...
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Lights Out For The Light Bulb
2008-01-02 16:13:00
I know what you are thinking about that title above: ?wow, that?s original. No brilliance there.? Get it, brilliance? OK, never mind. Within the next few years, the light bulb will be phased out. We are talking about THE light bulb. You know, the one that Edison invented and the one that you are sitting under while reading this right now. Unless you are using some newfangled light source and then you are one of the ones to blame the death of the light bulb on?and you should be ashamed.Think about the light bulb for a second. Did a little cartoon light bulb just appear over your head? OK, I?ll stop. Seriously, the light bulb is perhaps one of the most crucial inventions of the last 100+ years. Well, inside plumbing has its benefits, as does the deep fryer, but we wouldn?t even be able to see either one of them without the light bulb. Everything we do outside after dark or inside a building has been due to the invention of the light bulb. Surgeries, weddings, grocery shopp...
More About: Light , Lights , Light Bulb

New Years Resolutions ? This Year, They?re Gonna Stick!
2007-12-31 16:28:00
Well, that time is upon us again. No not preseason NASCAR testing, although I can tell you where I will be January 31st and February 1st? And not endless shrimp at Red Lobster or that time of year where I wake up and realize I have been wasting my life at my current job or that time of year where I begin working on new methods of freezing eggnog so that I can enjoy it mid-summer. I mean 2008. Well OK, 2008 is not here AGAIN, but it?s here. What I mean is the New Year . Well, this New Year, not the last New Year. That one is almost over and we should not dwell on the past, unless you have some rare memory disease or really like the movie Ground Hog Day. Or if you are a historian. Yes, a historian would be a perfectly acceptable reason to dwell on the past.To get to the point I was starting to explain several sentences ago, just let me say that the New Year is here and we all know we are going to make resolutions. They say that you should commit them to paper or share them with friends...
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At Home Sick Again Repost: Yep, Your Job Can Kill You
2007-12-28 19:19:00
After reading an AFP story out of Australia, I can officially say that studies have proven that your job can kill you. A professor for the Medical Research Institute in Wellington observed that 1/3 of patients sent to the hospital for deep vein blood clots were office workers. It is believed that sitting at a desk for an extended period can lead to the formation of these clots that can eventually kill you (and to weight gain which can kill you too, but we?ll leave that for later).I don?t want you to be frightened by these results, I?d rather you look upon this as an opportunity for change and improvement in your working conditions, as I have chosen to do. If we now have medical proof that your job can be harmful to your health, even if it is just one small study, don?t we owe it to ourselves to make things better? After all, everyone knows what we did to Big Tobacco and we knew that was killing us for years. Of course, each of us was not getting paid for smoking as we are for workin...
More About: Home , Sick , Kill

Off For The Holidays
2007-12-23 02:53:00
Twas a few days before Christmas and all through the blog, no good idea was stirring, the blog's owner in a fog.Visions of birthday presents and deep fryers danced in his head. Someday they'll say all the deep fried goodness is why he is dead.When what to his keyboard wandering fingers appeared, but an idea, to post a picture of the fat guy with the beard. He plagiarized a Christmas tale, and then left for a last minute sale.And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight. Holy crap, man. I thought you were open 'til midnight.This is my last post before Christmas. I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and I'll see you next week with my ode to the incandescent light bulb and my New Year's predictions. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!(and thanks for all of your blog visits) Enter your Email Powered by FeedBlitz
More About: Holidays , The Holidays

Christmas Is Not Only Getting Too Commercial, It?s Getting Too Violent
2007-12-19 16:25:00
That?s one of my favorite quotes from a Charlie Brown Christmas . Of course it was uttered by Linus facing an assault from his sister, but it applies nonetheless. I read 3 different news stories this morning that make me think the holidays are getting out of hand.Will Feeling Up The Big Guy Guarantee You A Spot On The Nice List?According to the AP, a 33 year-old lady in Connecticut is sure hoping so. She was accused of groping her local mall?s Santa. I?m going to go out on a limb here and assume she was tugging at more than Santa?s beard. I am also trying really hard to avoid describing Santa?s manitalia as ?Jingle Bells,? although you can just imagine how rosy his cheeks were when they were rung. Oops. Hey Santa, is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?You have to wonder if this was part of a dare or if the lady was overcome with the spirit of the holiday season. She?s 33 and the mall Santa is 65, so I guess if you?re looking for an older sugar da...
More About: Commercial , Violent

Random Tuesday
2007-12-18 16:25:00
It?s time again to uncork the pressure release valve on my mind and let all the miscellaneous, trivial and useless things that have occurred to me over the last few weeks (but that I can?t say to the people around me) out so that I do not explode. I?ve seen the Zapruder film and let me tell you, exploding heads are NOT pleasant.* I really hope that I get to meet Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams from LaVerne and Shirley one day so that I don?t waste this line I?ve been working on. First I?ll say ?well, we live and Laverne, I guess? (instead of live and learn) and then when they say something in response, I?ll react by saying ?Shirley, you can?t be serious.? I?m also working on one when and if I ever meet Jim Neighbors, but inserting the word ?Shazaam? into a sentence is harder than I had previously imagined. * The world would be a much better place if we all could just learn to get along. And leave me the heck alone when I am at my desk eating instant grits at 8:30 in the morn...
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Sunday Repost: Santa Faces Possible Indictment Over Mutant Deer Discovery
2007-12-17 00:41:00
A Wisconsin man discovered a deer with seven legs recently after he struck it with his truck. Perhaps even weirder is the fact that the animal had both male and female ?parts? (to be politically correct). The Associated Press reports that the extra legs were each a few inches long and were attached to its ?regular? legs.The growing concern is that there may be something screwy going on up at the North Pole. Although no other reports of the existence of ?genetically unique? deer have been reported, there have been rumors. PETA officials have scheduled an ?exploratory mission? to the North Pole to investigate the treatment of the local deer population.?Obviously there?s something funny happening when deer can fly and some are born with red noses, so you have to make a connection between that and this mutant deer turning up,? said a PETA official. ?I don?t know what you do to get reindeer to fly, but it?s obviously harmful,? he added.The North Pole has remained quiet and secretive abou...
More About: Discovery , Faces , Sunday , Santa , Deer

Looking Back At My 2007 Predictions
2007-12-13 12:34:00
Early this year, I made a few predictions for the New Year 2007. I figured it's time to look back at them now knowing how this year went. Yeah, you could say I was just a little off...Personal Predictions I predict that I will come home from a rough day at work one day to see everyone I know and can tolerate waiting for me in the living room. I will open the front door and realize that I?ve walked into an intervention. At that point, everyone will begin to detail (often using graphs and charts) how I need to stop blogging because of all the time it takes me away from doing other things and that my writing has become an embarrassment to people who can somehow be linked to me. I will obey them for a few days and then return to blogging. I also predict that my twins Lucy and Ethel will continue to act 50 and ask me about some of life?s most philosophical questions like why is the sun yellow. When I give them the best answer I can (i.e. quoting verbatim from Wikipedia) they will still...
More About: Back , Looking Back

8
2007-12-12 16:20:00
I was tagged by Meleah (as opposed to stealing her last post idea) to blog about 8 things. So here we go, so here we go, so here we go, so here we go, so here we go, so here we go, so here we go, so here we go. Yep, that was 8 times, provided I counted correctly?8 Things I?m Passionate About:1. My twins2. Blogging3. Humor writing4. NASCAR5. Watching my LA Clippers lose6. Great TV7. Music ? just listening. I can?t sing or play a lick. Holy heck, did I just use the word lick when I was describing something a dog does?8. Exercise8 Things I Say Often1. OK, quit hanging on Daddy now.2. I?m going to be late getting into the office this morning3. Oops4. What would Michael Scott do in this situation?5. That?s What She Said6. Go ahead and call HR on me. It wouldn?t be the first time.7. Wait! That came out all wrong. What I meant to say was?8. Cool8 Books I?ve Read Recently:1. A Ronald Reagan Biography2. A Christmas Carol3. Truman4. Green Eggs and Ham ? no it wasn?t for the twins. Why do yo...

A Christmas Story Meme
2007-12-11 16:10:00
I saw this on my blogging twin Meleah?s site yesterday and decided to steal it for today. Please do not confuse this with the meme she posted and tagged me with today that I am posting tomorrow. I hope you aren?t confused. At any rate, I felt a Christmas themed list was entirely appropriate for this time of year as opposed to, well, let?s say July. 1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?I am a horrible wrapper and friends and family have come to expect lopsided, crumbled up and over-taped packages from me. The people at Scotch Tape have actually suggested I buy stock in their company. The key is beginning with way too much paper. I believe it really shows folks my humility and how much I care that I am willing to give them a gift even though it is poorly wrapped. It?s the thought that counts this time of year, right?2. Real tree or artificial?Artificial. Though I had the real deal growing up and miss it. 3. When do you put up the tree?Right around Thanksgiving, if not slightly befo...
More About: Meme , Story , A Christmas Story