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Weekend Wrap Up ? Don?t Worry, It Won?t Be Too Over Stimulating?
2009-05-26 17:39:00
As any decent blogger knows, the beginning of the week is when everyone reads the most blogs. Why? Because they are back in the office and have nothing better to do. Why blog from home when there are so many other activities available like washing behind your boys? toilet or figuring out what that smell is in the kitchen sink or maybe even watching your child participate in a sporting event. Do I know about the high frequency of blogging during the workweek from experience? Why yes, yes I do. An experienced blogger once told me about it. I read, heard and saw a lot this weekend. This is partly because I swore that this Memorial Day Weekend , for the first time in almost 10 years, I was going to sit in the comfort of my own home and watch both the Indy 500 and Coca-Cola 600 from start to finish. If only I hadn?t been so precise with my wordage. The weekend might have been much different if not for the 24 hours it took to get in just over half of the 600 mile NASCAR race. (I ...
More About: Worry , Wrap

The Most Interesting Man In The World (And No, I Don't Mean Alex Trebec Or
2009-05-07 19:20:00
I?ve been wanting to write about this topic for awhile now but wasn?t exactly sure how to do it justice. I know what you are thinking this is about, but no, it?s not about Thomas Crapper, inventor of the toilet. That being said however, we kind of owe that guy a lot. Sometimes I get flush just thinking about it. Nor is it about Gene Rayburn, host of Match Game AND Match Game 76, which was like getting to hang out with your grandparents when they were drinking and cool. Without him, we would never have been able to end our sentences with the word ?blank,? as in ?Jimmy and Judy want to have another child, but Jimmy keeps shooting blank.? Wait, that?s not the best example to feature the whole ?blank? thing. Let?s try this one, ?Sally forgot to tell Willy that he blanked her the other day at the park.? You know what, I might be better at answering those than actually writing them. Ah, but I did like cocktail hour with the seniors. Charles Nelson Reilly, Betty White, Richard Dawson and m...
More About: Interesting , World , Alex , The World

Wait A Second, I Have A Blog??
2009-05-04 20:14:00
It has been pointed out to me by oh, about 50 people in the last few months or so that I have what is apparently called a blog, which I?m told is short for web log. If that was the case though, shouldn?t it be called a Wlog (pronounced Wuh-log. Just said much quicker)? I have also been told that I have let that blog sit unbathed, unfed and unnurtured in the back of the intraweb?s shed for quite some time. Today I strive to change that.The reason for my rededication to my Wlog is that I still do enjoy writing (defined by this individual as typing whatever comes to mind, spell checking it and hitting the nearest publish button) and the fact that I for no real good reason quit my pretty decent job last week. This now gives me plenty of spare time. But since I have already done the laundry, been to Disneyland and made fun of the tourists wearing socks and sandals and sorted my Barry Manilow CDs by favorite song AFTER Copacabana, I am looking for more to do.It?s not that I haven?t had a ...
More About: Blog , Wait

Uh-Oh. It's V-Day!!
2009-02-14 18:14:00
Nah, I?m just kidding, I knew it was coming and am prepared. Well ok, I realized it was coming about 30 mins ago when my sweet little children asked where their Valentines Day presents were. And no, I am not prepared. In fact, I had quite the day planned...for myself. It would have been a lovely affair. Practice and racing all day from Daytona, this evening's NBA All-Star weekend festivities and then the piece of resistance (which doesn't sound nearly as good as it does in French, by the way) - Alec Baldwin hosting SNL tonight with musical guests (this is where I start trembling) The Jonas Brothers!!!! Yes, I'm kidding about the Jonas Brothers thing. They make me want those annoying toe-headed brothers that sang that Shoo-Bop song to come back. Admit it, you know who I'm talking about...Now comes the obvious dilemma. Do I cancel my plans, which I have waited on for several weeks now (not to sway your opinion any) or continue with my plans and deal with the uh, aftermath. After a...

The Top Ten Options For Celebrating Elvis' B-day (As Approved By The King
2009-01-08 17:33:00
*Although he is living on an island with Marilyn Monroe, JFK and Jim Morrison, Elvis himself did not officially endorse this Top Ten List. Neither did Elvis' estate, for that matter. Ok, they are just 10 crappy ideas I came up with. There. Now are you happy?10. Sport trucker side burns. Sorry, this one's just for men ? which I am sure Elvis would use (I mean the product. Not sure about the sideburns and all since the National Enquirer said one had to be glued back on after his death. D'oh). It drives that lady folk crazy. And if that isn't enough of an enticement guys, check this out: You don't have to shave as much of your face when sporting the trucker burns because they take up most of your cheek and hard to reach just under the jaw places.9. Make about 36 movies ? each one successively worse and each one making ?The Love Guru? the ?Gone With The Wind? of our generation.8. Employ your own Mafia and then get your picture taken with the President in the Oval Office while weari...
More About: The King , Options , King

Parents Across America Rejoice!
2009-01-05 18:05:00
You all know what I'm talking about ? assuming you are reading this today: Monday, January 5, 2009. Yep, the kids went back to school today. I suppose I could just stop there and let you all back to your relishing of the quiet, peaceful absence of presence that is having the kiddies back in our educational institutions, or sweat factories, where some of our favorite products are made. I'm sure they went back today too, but that's not that funny and I'd rather receive spam than hate mail. Actually, I'd rather receive both the electronic AND ham/pork/beef versions of it instead of hate mail so I won't mention sweat houses again. Sweat houses. It's the annoying side of me that had to say it just one more time. Sorry.Anywho, I'm sure the morning was a struggle for you all, but looking at the clock as I read this, the only timezone that has yet to send the kids off is Hawaii and if you live in Hawaii, you deserve the battle ahead because you live in Hawaii, which is tropical and ...
More About: America , Parents

No Mr. Bond, I Expect You To Fly (In A Car I Stole From TV's Rob Petrie)
2009-01-04 02:11:00
Now you may have realized the title above is the bastardized version of a great James Bond quote, but you probably have no idea why I stooped so low. That's what I will be spending the rest of this 'essay' explaining. I should first preface all of this by stating that I am a simple person, a simple minded person to be more exact. But lest you confuse my simple mindedness for stupidity, let me remind you that I came up with the idea (after a little inspiration from my Facebook and real life friend Beau) of one of this year's soon to be biggest clothing fads ? The GoodHood®. It's an attachable jacket or sweater hood that is waterproof and lined with my new eco-friendly multi-fiber blend called Flaneece, which is a wonderful flannel/fleece blend. (GoodHood® - Because if you aren't keeping your head warm, you might as well be naked) See, no simple minded idiot could come up with that. Right? Wait, let me rephrase that. I mean: NO, a simple minded idiot could NEVER come up with tha...
More About: Expect

2009, Where Have You Been All Of My Life?
2009-01-02 17:56:00
Well friends, 2009 is upon us. It's yet another reminder, other than my watch, at how fast time flies. Why it seems like just yesterday I was hammering the last nail into my Y2K bunker and ravaging local Rite Aides for their last cans of Spam. This could be the last year of our lives where we actually identify the year by saying 'two thousand....' Next year, just 563 days from now (wait, that doesn't seem right - perhaps I mixed the numbers up) we can start referring to the year as 'twenty-ten.' That will probably be a lot of fun and sounds kinda hip, but it's still a way off, so lets focus on this new year.Perhaps it's my past employment experience in marketing, advertising and PR (I'm outta work by the way, so no, mentioning my previous experience was not a random gesture), but I think everything needs a slogan or catchy phrase. Just ask my twins. I've sloganized (some might call it 'branded') everything from their bodily functions to their 1,008 pairs of shoes. I feel...
More About: Life , My Life

It?s Pulled Pork Time In Georgia!
2008-12-26 19:35:00
A Georgia resident recently shot an 1100-pound wild hog says the Associated Press. The man shot the animal when he spotted it in a neighbor?s yard, which makes you wonder how many dogs his neighbor has lost, if you catch my drift, which you probably didn't. However, jokes are never funny if you have to explain them, so we'll just move right along... After shooting the hog, he took it to a weigh station to see just how big it was. This guy is just like me. Whenever I kill something, my first reaction is to drag it to the closest scale. Unfortunately, flies, mosquitoes and moths don?t weigh that much so the thrill is kind of lacking. Although it?s still not determined whether this hog is the biggest ever found in Georgia, it does weigh a few hundred pounds more than the famous ?Hogzilla? that was killed a few years ago. I guess that makes this pig Mothra-hog? Now if you are not familiar with the Godzilla Trilogy, that made no sense. Let's try it this way: if the previously known...
More About: Time , Pork

The Obligatory Christmas Post
2008-12-22 21:27:00
Well, December 22nd has descended upon us, which means the Christmas season is in full swing. I guess that means I better devote a few paragraphs to the holiday season. Let me help you set the mood. While I am typing this, Johnny Mathis is crooning ?The Christmas Song,? I am drinking coffee with peppermint mocha creamer, I have been stoking the fire, printing copies like a mad man of this year?s Christmas CD for our friends and family, have the twins beside me begging me not to pile them into the new minivan (yeah, I sold out, but it?s so convenient, so mind your own business) and lost my job. And I?m doing all of that while wearing my Santa Suit complete with wig, beard and old man glasses. I?m just kidding. Seriously, that suit needs to be handled with care at all times. I took it off before having breakfast this morning. Yep, that special holiday feeling is here! Have you wished a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or Season?s Greetings to everyone you meet yet? If you haven?t the...
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An Ode To The Brick Of Sugary Christmasy Goodness
2008-12-18 21:04:00
Perhaps it?s because my friend?s wife made me her personal fruitcake recipe recently or the terror induced giddiness that can only come from being one week away from Christmas and realizing I have only played 34% of my Christmas music collection, but I find myself unable to resist writing about the fruitcake. I know what you are thinking- ?that $#$#%#^%$ hasn?t written anything new all December and he chooses to make his first post about fruitcake? The Hitler of all Christmastime goodies?? I guess the answer to that is yes, but don?t you think your use of the words ?Hitler? and ?Christmas? in the same sentence is akin to calling Engelbert Humperdink untalented? Let me help you out there. The answer is yes; yes it is akin to that. Very akin to that in fact. By the way, that?s a-kin, not Aiken as in Clay. No Clay here. Ever. While the fruitcake has been maligned like Sarah Palin next to Katie Couric, I happen to like it and enjoy its candied taste. Yes, it?s a redheaded step...
More About: Goodness , Brick

Christmas Is Not Only Getting Too Commercial, It?s Getting Too Violent
2008-12-11 17:08:00
That?s one of my favorite quotes from a Charlie Brown Christmas . Of course it was uttered by Linus facing an assault from his sister, but it applies nonetheless. I read 3 different news stories this morning that make me think the holidays are getting out of hand...Will Feeling Up The Big Guy Guarantee You A Spot On The Nice List?According to the AP, a 33 year-old lady in Connecticut is sure hoping so. She was accused of groping her local mall?s Santa. I?m going to go out on a limb here and assume she was tugging at more than Santa?s beard. I am also trying really hard to avoid describing Santa?s manitalia as ?Jingle Bells,? although you can just imagine how rosy his cheeks were when they were rung. Oops. Hey Santa, is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?You have to wonder if this was part of a dare or if the lady was overcome with the spirit of the holiday season. She?s 33 and the mall Santa is 65, so I guess if you?re looking for an older sugar daddy yo...
More About: Commercial , Violent

The Exploitation Of Rudolph, It?s Animagical!
2008-12-01 16:46:00
It?s that time of year when those famous Rankin-Bass cartoons and stop-motion puppet (Animagic) specials like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty can be seen on TV as frequently as wreaths on long-haul truckers? rigs. I think the only person that comes close to having produced more Christmas fare than Rankin-Bass was Johnny Mathis, who I?m pretty sure just released his 100th Christmas CD, or something close to it. The ABC Family Channel usually airs most of the Rankin-Bass productions all December long and my girls watched a few of them last night. Among them was ?Rudolph?s Shiny New Year? and ?The Christmas without a Santa Claus.? It got me thinking that at a certain point, the Animagic Christmas treatment may have been stretched a little too thin.Obviously, ?Rudolph? is as much a part of the holidays as Bing Crosby and fish-stockinged leg lamps giving us the glow of illuminated electrix sex in our windows. It has to be good television for it to have been broadcast over netwo...
More About: Exploitation

If Only I Had Seen This Yesterday...
2008-11-28 18:40:00
...Or perhaps several days or weeks ago because of the lengthy prep time I am assuming accompanies what I am about to share with you. While perusing around online this morning, I came across a mention of a new take on turducken, which is odd considering that turducken itself is a new take on something. This creation was called turgooduccochiqua. Now here is where I need to you to follow closely, because things are going to get confusing fast. A turgooduccochiqua is: a quail stuffed inside a cornish game hen that is inside of a duck, which resides in a chicken that is nesting inside of turkey. But hang on there because we aren't finished yet. All of those fowl ingredients (Get it? Fowl as in foul?) are then stuffed inside of a goose, which really brings that phrase from "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" that says "the goose is getting fat" to mind. Though in this case the goose is getting morbidly obese, but that's no fun to think about when eating. Oh yes, as if that wasn't enough ...
More About: Yesterday

Thanksgiving Eve
2008-11-26 21:10:00
It's here. It's here. I'm not sure if that's actually what they call today or not, but it SHOULD be called that. I am going to write my local member of congress and suggest that he pushes legislation (or litigation - I'm not that particular) to make it so. After all, I'm sure it will be a welcome respite from all the bailout stuff. Speaking of bailout (and segues too), the president pardoned 2 turkeys at the White House earlier today in the annual event that has taken place since at least Harry Truman. Gerald Ford even pardoned a turkey. It's name was Nixon. Seriously folks, these are the jokes...The pardoned turkeys will get to live out the rest of their lives at the turkey farm praying to God that their tags marking them as special, untouchable turkeys never come off strutting around knowing that they have been spared, though I bet it will make it hard for them to forge meaningful long lasting relationships. "I swear Tom, every time I get close to another Jenny, she disappe...
More About: Thanksgiving

A Post With All The Stuffing
2008-11-24 17:52:00
Since the last time I wrote a post Joe The Plumber was still relevant, I figured I?d offer up a holiday fare of actual newly written thoughts for this holiday week. I had planned on spending today writing a series of status updates on Facebook that were all related, but then realized that?s basically called Twitter and around the third or fourth update someone would catch on and point out that my idea wasn?t really that unique. Since I am not hardwired to handle that type of criticism (or mathematics, for that matter), I will spend my time writing this instead. When I discovered the fact that you can write notes as long as you want on Facebook last night, I thought my blogging days might be over. In fact, I actually wrote a post there last night and did not share it here with you. The guilt from that is also what inspired me to finally write a new post, but since that sounds less than sincere, I?m wanted to keep it from you. Though obviously I didn?t because I am here writing a...
More About: Post

Oooh Yay, It's Sort Of A Holiday
2008-11-23 17:44:00
While the title says it's a holiday, please remember this was written last January. While I'm sure somewhere in the world today is a holiday, it is not the meaningless holiday I am honoring below. Putting this up today was easier than writing something new, with all the decorating and Christmas CD making an eggnog consumptioning going on around my homestead this weekend.Enjoy and happy Sunday, unless you are reading this later in the week because then wishing you a happy Sunday on a day when you are most likely working away in the office would just be cruel. Although, if you are reading this at work then I guess you really aren't working and then it serves you right. Yeah, I'm kidding. We all know work is the best place to get your blogging done. I mean not for me personally, for everybody else...It?s that time for another useless holiday. You know, one of these days I am just going to sit down, invent my own holiday and use this blog to tirelessly promote it. In fact, maybe one...
More About: Holiday , Sort

Want To Become A Legend? Paint A Dome!
2008-11-18 23:56:00
This was originally written 2 years ago, but I spruced it up a little. It wasn't that good to begin with, so I guess all I really did was put lipstick on a pig. Sadly, I may have blurred the lines of reality and imagination in it, but even sadder still, I can't tell. You be the judge (you were supposed to say that in a low mysterious voice, by the way)...In November of 1512, Michelangelo?s artwork on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in Rome was unveiled to the public. Other than ?ouch, it hurts thy neck to look straight up at thine painting,? the thing most overheard that day was ?woweth, how?deth he doeth thateth and is thee not wearing any pants in thy painting where thee toucheth God?? There are many facts about the frescoes (I had one at Starbucks this morning actually, but they put too much cinnamon in it again) that adorn the Chapel?s ceiling which most people probably aren?t aware of. The real facts concerning the creation of the paintings have been kept from us for alm...
More About: Legend , Paint , Dome

The "I Just Saw A James Bond Movie And It Reminded Me Of This Repost" Repos
2008-11-14 07:58:00
Ok, I just saw the new James Bond movie and it got me all excited (that's what she said) and reminded me of this 2 year old post. Perhaps what I remember most about it is that it took longer to make the little graphic there than it did to write this...and it shows, but I'm ok with that because I like to settle. It keeps expectations down, like 'Dow Jones plunging' down. So, as I go back to punch this up so it's not so 2006, please keep in mind that I am doing so at 2:30AM and long ago surrendered my faculites and better judgement...I joked last week (OK, 2 years ago for those scoring at home) about wanting to do a story based on a radio commercial I heard about the fact that the CIA is hiring, but I was too afraid of Big Brother. They're like HR only with weapons and wiretapping, though unlike my HR, they probably let you surf the web. Although I'm sure it's in the name of National Security, which really isn't a good name. I prefer something more traditional like Dale o...
More About: Movie

A Random Post Election Wrap Up That Is So ?After The Fact? That It Is Immed
2008-11-10 18:52:00
...(And Then Crashed Into A Bus Because The Driver Is Too Busying Looking At Other People Look At Him In His New Jag). - Facebook wouldn't let me fit the whole title up there, which is too bad because I spent an entire hour trying to create the longest title I could. Although on the bright side, I now know the exact parameters I have to work within. Just like when writing Haiku Which I seldom do. See what I did there, I went Haiku-ey on you.  How mavericky, huh.  Sadly, it took even longer to compose than the title did...Well, the election ended almost a week ago and that means it?s time for me to jump well after everyone else into the post-election wrap up. This gives me a few advantages.One: I can read what everyone else says, translate it into the way I would talk by adding unnecessary ?y?s and ?ings? to it and by making comparisons to things that would not normally be compared for fear of federal prosecution, and then impress (or perhaps ?regale? if I am doing it really well...
More About: Post , Random , Fact , Election , Wrap

Random Tricks AND Treats - Because It's A Time For Giving
2008-10-31 18:59:00
Well friends, as if I need to tell you with all the scariness out there and all the yards decorated and people putting on different personas and the ghoulish anticipation of the hauntings to come, election time is finally upon us.But what I am going to write about is Halloween. Yep, the sequential Numero Uno in the Triumverate of Holidays is here. And since you can?t come knocking upon my door to receive your choice of candy, Facebook Flair or my self-printed pamphlet on how the union of Jim and Pam on the Office relates to the Apocolypse, I shall offer you these random tricks and treats. They may not be the best things I?ve ever offered you here, but just consider me to be the guy that hands out pencils on Halloween this year (oh, and no offense to my wife?s mother with that remark)?* Cellphones may not kill, but when using one causes you to walk into the ladies? restroom at Disneyland, they can cause you to get some VERY dirty looks.* I really have an axe to grind (or limb to seve...
More About: Time , Random , Tricks , Giving , Treats

A New Post Doesn't Write Itself
2008-10-28 20:26:00
It occurred to me the other day that I hadn't written a 'new' blog post in a 'few days.? I'm not sure how I let those 'few days? elapse, but I figured I should get back on the horse, or keyboard in this instance, and start writing again. The only problem was that when I sat on the keyboard, all that came out was this: ru8ot goihjudfuhjugrehgughghujgh. And as you can see, that phrase is only funny if you are from the Anhui Province in China, which you are most likely not, especially if you read this blog. Though if you actually find yourself enjoying this blog, perhaps you are from that province and have no basic concept of reality or the English language. And speaking of Provinces, I had several good ideas and topics to share with you in this post that have been accumulating during the last 'few days? of my absence. The only problem is that I am heavily medicated, which has reduced my memory to the capacity of a chicken embryo's bladder, though I will try to recount as ...
More About: Post , Write

The Most Interesting Man In The World (And No, It?s Not Mo Roca Or Alan Gre
2008-10-18 09:50:00
Yes, yes, this is a repost from about a month ago, but I added a little something to the title up there to increase its relevancy and current events quotient. Holy Moley, that's the first time I've ever written the word 'quotient' to be used as comic phrasing. Note to self: don't do that again. I hope to get back to daily writing very soon. As I've been going through a mental chill and thaw or 'brainular cleansing,' as I prefer to call it, I have neglected my blog. I think it's actually lost a few pounds and its friends have stopped calling. So, I am posting this because it's one of the very last new things I wrote and just like showing last year's finale of your favorite show the week before the season premier debuts, it'll help get you all caught up. I?ve been wanting to write about this topic for awhile now but just didn?t have enough info to do so. I know what you are thinking this is about, but no, it?s not about Thomas Crapper, inventor of the toilet. That be...
More About: Interesting , World , The World , Alan

It's New Because It's Not Old
2008-09-30 05:34:00
THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF NOTHING WORTHWHILE'S TIP OF THE DAY:It's never a good idea to drive through the twisting, narrow roads of the San Bernardino Mountains at night while listening to Jan and Dean's 'Dead Man's Curve'It's just daring bad mojo to come your way. And by 'mojo' I mean driving off a cliff and stuff...Thank you for your time. Enter your Email Powered by FeedBlitz

Weekend Repost: Random Bullets
2008-09-26 21:32:00
I swear that I hope to get back to writing sometime very soon. Actually, let me rephrase that because it sounded like I was ducking the question. I swear that I WANT to get back to writing sometime very soon. As ABC has been informing us of the fact that it's Stay At Home week for the last several days, my doctor apparently took notice and has had me at home for the last TWO weeks. I guess she wanted me to get a jump on the holiday. I've missed a lot in the last two weeks, but went outside the other day and actually saw an orangey colored leaf on a tree. It reminded me that Fall is upon us and and my favorite few months of the year have arrived. Because I'm in So Cal I realize that the orangey leaf was probably just a dead leaf, but I have to take Fall however I can get it. Have a great weekend and enjoy these somewhat dated bullets from way back in a time that I like to call February...* When your Female Coworker arrives at work with impressions on the skin under her eyes...
More About: Random , Weekend , Bullets

Another Repost: Let?s Be Honest
2008-09-22 03:36:00
This is a repost. Please keep that in mind when you read things below like 'today is a holiday,' or 'I should do xxxxxx today because today is xxxxxx Day.' Ok, now I guess we're ready to go.Thursday (as in Thursday, May 1st - please refer to the paragraph above) is National Honest y Day. No, I?m lying. It?s actually today (as in Wednesday April 30th, but this is beginning to confuse me very quickly). See what I did there? It?s just a little honest humor. Honestly, National Honesty Day is today. What kind of person would I be if I lied to you about National Honesty Day? If you play it straight and honest just one day this year, surely it will be today, right?As usual, I?m not sure what the best way to celebrate National Honesty Day is. I?m thinking it does involve a measure of oh, telling the truth? Even if the girl in the cubicle across from you asks what you think of her new hairdo inspired by Prince and Tina Turner (that would be purple and sticking out all over the place fo...

Holiday Repost: ARRRRRR, Or Whatever Matey
2008-09-19 23:11:00
I am fully aware that I owe you a Randomocity day or at the very least, a new post. Spoiler Alert: That won't be happening today, but today's annual holiday HAD to be observed and fortunately I can steal from a past holiday post. So, hoist your mainsails and giddy up. Wait a minute, that's not right. I'll try it again. Yo yo yo, lemme show ya how to roll. There's no way that's correct. Set your reactions on stun, because today is...Ok, that's not even close and now I'll be branded a nerd.I'll give it one last chance. Ya better be gettin' yer eye patch on because today be Talk Like A Pirate Day.....arrrrrrrr. So hoist your colors you bloomin' cockroaches. Don't forget to show 'em your "larboard" side. Use your best ole salty pirate phrases me hearties or ye be walkin' the plank. There, I think that did it. And to think they all laughed when I told them we'd learn something one day from all those rides on Pirates of the Caribbean! Yep, that is what I learned. Nons...
More About: Holiday

This Is One Mission That Will Not Go Down The Drain (Also Known As Poo In S
2008-09-16 04:12:00
I have been put out of commission for a little while, which is why I haven't visited too many of your blogs lately, for which I am very sorry. I'm not sure when I'll get the urge to put a new post up again, though it shouldn't be too long (that's what she said). And speaking of urges, enjoy this repost about non-working toilets. I got all flushed just writing about it...Space travel can be pretty serious and life threatening stuff. After all, if we had been meant to be space dwellers, we would have been born there. Wow, that may have been the dumbest thing I have ever written. Well, not counting the proposal I turned in at work once that had errors I put in it just to see if they would be found, because that was a whole different kind of dumb, as in I really thought I?d get away with it but didn?t and am lucky to still have a job.It seems that our interstellar gamble with space travel has come back to bite us (in the rear) again. Yep, while taking Lucy and Ethel to school th...
More About: Mission

Is It Really Random If I Repost It?
2008-09-15 08:13:00
I've wondered all weekend if it could really be a random post if I reposted it. Since I did randomly select this random post (at random, mind you) I feel comfortable in having this post maintain it's randomocity. Or randomicity, if you prefer. I have also wondered all weekend how to get out of going to work on Monday and then my truck died a thousands deaths over Saturday night. Its alternator or starter just stopped beating, to mix mechanical metaphors. Perhaps fate has handed me an answer for avoiding work on Monday. Yes, I shall call in and say I smashed my thumb.Now, onto the random goodness. What better way to ease into the work week than to slowly drain the extraneous thoughts from our mind in the same manner that you?d wring out a rag after using it to wash your car. For some reason that doesn?t sound like a very desirable thing to do though, does it? That however is my cross to bear. Let the randomness begin?* If Joe Cocker had a seizure while performing, how would...
More About: Random

Weekend Repost: When Duck Doesn?t Really Cover It
2008-09-13 19:35:00
It has come to my attention that I haven't posted in a few days. I am shocked. Actually, now I am worried. I THOUGHT I had posted the last few days, but now I can't seem to find where I posted them. Did they end up on your blog? Oh no, what if I somehow posted it to a server at work? No wait, I think that was a memo. Unless I confused the two (because it wouldn't be the first time). Did I mention I am currently heavily medicated? Wait, did I mention I am currently heavily medicated?My friends, ?technically? I am writing this from the great beyond. There is a belief at the moment that I am dead. Like right now, while I type this. I know, it?s all spooky and stuff, huh? It sounds shocking, but I apparently perished in an unfortunate emergency of some sort or another that was very nondescript in its nature but ?should? have involved ducking under my desk.I say ?should? have involved ducking under my desk because well, I didn?t duck or cover or even cower for that matter. For the rec...
More About: Weekend , Cover , Duck