The 12 Step Junkie

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October 8th: Junkie Journal
2007-10-09 06:20:00
Geesh, sorry for the delay in posting and updating on the 'ol blog. Typical addict, start something and never finish. Actually, I my life has somewhat turned upside down in the last couple of weeks. Mainly due to having to work (many) more hours than I normally do. Unfortunately for the next month or so, I will have to cut my (almost) daily blogs down to one or 2 a week. BUT...I will continue to update the podcasts and other items on my blog. I'm not "back out" , there is no need for concern, sobriety is good, I am just going to be very busy for the next few weeks and might not get to blog as much as I'd like.
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Junkie Journal:September 20th
2007-09-21 00:51:00
Resentment is a cup of poison we pour for our enemy and drink ourself.So last night I was listening to Bad, Bad, Parents from The Recovery Podcast (love it!) and I realized that I have alot of issues with my parents. Well, let me take that back, I always knew that I had issues with my parents, but I didn't really realize how deep they really were until the last couple of months, especially after listening to that podcast. I also have alot of resentment towards my parents. So I decided that I should do a posting about it.As of today, I haven't talked to my parents (my mother and step-father) the last couple of months due to me relapsing and getting in trouble again. I haven't talked to my "real" father (the sperm donor) in probably 5. Now, I could go on and on about this particular topic, but I will try to keep it as short as possible.I come from a very well off family. My parents traveled alot when I was younger so I was usually shipped off to my grandma's house (which I didn't...
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Junkie Journal:September 19th
2007-09-20 00:46:00
So today was the big day. Back in court. Actually it wasn't to bad because I received my plea agreement in the mail last Friday, so I pretty much knew what I was walking into.I am very, very lucky~considering they found me passed out in my passenger seat of my car(keys in purse), they only charged me with a public intoxication. And this is also my 2nd offense. Now just real quick, if you are not familiar with my story, I was charged with an OWI in August 2005, got sober, then relapsed recently and was arrested in July of this year. I wasn't back out for long, but it sure didn't take long for the trouble to start again. And I will also say, the way I was drinking was WAY worse after my relapse. We hear that all the time, but for anyone that has doubts~IT'S TRUE!My girlfriend, "Hope" (from the whole "Joey" ordeal) went into rehab this evening. I wish her the best, but the more I have talked to her the last few days, I really think she has a long road ahead of her. She made referen...
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Can I Sue?
2007-09-19 19:08:00
Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true theys suin them cigarette companies fer causin people to git cancer ?""Yes, Bubba, sure is true," responded the lawyer."And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants fer makin them fat an cloggin their arteries with all them burgers an fries, is that true, Mista Lawyer?""Sure is, Bubba.""And that lady sued McDonalds for millions when she was gave that hot coffee that she ordered?""Yep.""And that football player sued that university when he gradiated and still couldnt read?""Thats right," said the lawyer."But why are you asking?""Well, I was thinkin . . . What I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser fer all them ugly women I slept with?Thanks Denis! :)

Junkie Journal:September 17th
2007-09-17 21:18:00
Now, before you read this, you may want to read my Safe Meetings blog from September 3rd to make sure you are up to speed on the crazy bulls--t that's going on in the small town meetings that I go to.On my way to take the girls to school this morning, a friend of mine called me to tell me that she had made the decision that she needed to stop drinking and needed help. Now, this was a major, major move for her, and never have I heard her speak a word about getting help for her drinking in the past. Over the last few months, she has lost 2 friends that refuse to talk to her because of her drinking, has had an intervention organized for her and has been threatened to have her son taken from her, however she never saw that she had a problem until this morning. After I dropped the kids off, I went over to talk to her and she said she was ready. She said she was ready to do whatever it took to stop drinking(key words). We have a mutual friend, we will call him Joey. Well, Joey has 14 mon...
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Downloadable 12 Step Workbooks
2007-09-17 19:42:00
I found this this site some time ago and I thought I had posted the link before, but apparently I didn't or it got deleted. None-the-less, this site offers free downloadable 12 Step Workbooks.Click here for Workbook 1Click here for Workbook 2and a 40 Day Commitment guide to the steps. Now, by no means will you (or should you) go through all 12 steps in 40 days (at least I don't suggest it), but it is a really good guide to the steps and would be great for the newcomer to at least get a feel of the steps and what all is involved.

Signs You Are Drinking To Much Coffee...
2007-09-17 19:40:00
-You answer the door before people knock.- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.- You ski uphill.- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.- You lick your coffeepot clean.- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.- You chew on other people's fingernails.- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.- You can jump-start your car without cables.- Cocaine is a downer.- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."- You don't sweat, you percolate.- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating the...
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Junkie Journal: September 14th
2007-09-14 17:38:00
Right now I am having alot of issues with my family that have been affecting my sleep. When I relapsed and was arrested in July for public intoxication two of the most important people in my life gave up on me and stopped talking to me. My mother and my 15 year old daughter. Most importantly my daughter. She lives with her dad now and has not returned my voicemails, emails or IM's for over two months. (To be honest, I think my mom had a hand in her silencing me) I don't blame her for being royally pissed off at me. She thought I was "out of the woods" so-to-speak and then I let her down by relapsing. The night I was arrested, she was at home babysitting her 8 year old twin sisters when the police came knocking on the door at 1am. Luckly she did not answer the door and she called my ex-husband (her stepfather) telling him something was wrong. He came and got the girls, thank God, because the police could have very easily have taken them and the situation I am in could have been alo...
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Free 97 Page Addiction Recovery Help Guide
2007-09-14 17:16:00
In exchange for your email address, you can download this Help Guide ~so far, my email has not been spammed~ and I found it quite useful. Although the guide makes reference to quiting smoking alot, it is written by a recovering alcoholic. Among many things, this guide offers tips for dealing with cravings, ideas for staying sober and touches base on Post Accute Withdrawl Syndrome (PAWS), which is what I think I am experiencing now.Click here to get the guide.**If you find any of the links on this page broken or not working, please let me know.
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Bears In Bars
2007-09-14 17:15:00
A bear walks into a bar in Billings , Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings ."The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings ."The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings ."The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate.
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Sicky
2007-09-09 21:46:00
Sorry for not posting the last few days. I am very sick with strep throat. I should have myself back together again in a day or two.Thanks for you patience.Diane
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Junkie Journal:September 5th
2007-09-05 22:13:00
Well, I did it! After 3 years of saying I'm going back to school, I finally am. I enrolled today, even though I am switching schools (and careers) for now. Before I hit my bottom, I was a psychology major at a local college here in Indy. Even though for the time being I plan on going into medical assisting, I still plan to return as a psychology major and work in addiction counseling in the future. Going back to school will be a huge change for me, but I am glad that I can pick up where I left off (with out to much damage to my GPA). Not that I consider anything I did during my using as smart, but I can say at least I recognized the fact that I could no longer to use the way I was using and stay in school. I had to pick between the two, and of course I chose the drugs and alcohol. But today I am grateful that I did have another recovery left in me and I have been given another chance to be the person that I want to be.I am still working on getting the women's group going, so if yo...
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The Junkie Journal: September 4th
2007-09-05 02:06:00
Ex-Political official helping others kick substance abuse" I was a product of alcohol and disease, and I would do anything to make a buck" states Bill Brown after 18 years of sobriety.After a strenuous ordeal in Washington D.C. during the Nixon era, 2 heart attacks, and waking with voices in his head this ex-politition decided he had had enough and got help ~at that time he was diagnosed as an alcoholic. Brown spent some time at an Arizona addiction center and then worked as a busboy at the Katz Delicatessen in Phoenix making $3.85 an hour, where Brown says " I was never happier in my life. I didn't have to lie. I didn't have to make you like me".Years later, he is working as a franchise-business consultant again and he and his wife Barbara Nicholson-Brown now organize the annual **Art of Recovery Expo set to be held at the Pheonix Convention Center September 29th. They also publish Arizona Together newspaper that is dedicated to recovery.Read the full article at facesandvoicesofr...
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Burning Desire: "Safe Meetings"
2007-09-04 02:43:00
I feel that meetings should be a safe place and free of judgements & criticism's...Right?Not so much the case around these parts lately.Let me start by saying, I come from a very, very small town. A small town that is surrounded by small towns, and what I thought would be an advantage, I quickly learned that it was just the opposite.At meetings in other parts of the world, the people you encounter at meetings~you meet them sober (most of the time). Very rarely do you meet them while they were using, so you have no idea what that person was like before.That isn't how it works out here.Many of us have known each other for 10, 20 even 40 years. And unfortunately it seems like some people think that because they have some recovery time under their belt, they are better in some way or another. There has been a lot of talk and snickering at the meetings lately and it is just really starting to piss me off.It has pissed me off so much that I have started switching up my meetings and ...
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Junkie Journal: September 2nd
2007-09-01 23:16:00
This is a post of mine that was on SoberCircle.com from back in July. I hope you enjoy.Sunday, July 15, 200710:03 PMBeatenI haven't written or updated this thing in a while. Typical me, always starting something and not finishing it~f'ckn addict! Lol! Anyhow, alot has gone one this week. I have gone from being threatened that the girls were going to be taken away from me and my mother disowning me to things are strarting to look up (as other have told me they would.). I really need to work on that people, places and things, though. I found myself at the pool this past weekend with the same pleople I ran around with. Almost like I'm just setting myself up for failure. But it did make me realize....I can't be around drunk people. Funny how drunk people piss me off when I'm not drunk myself. And yes, I really did act that same way. Pathetic. But long story short, I did end up going home and watching a movie with the girls.I did delete about 50 numbers out of my phone this past wee...
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Junkie Journal: September 1st
2007-09-01 15:49:00
Kindly discard your drinks elseware~and quit throwing them on my f'kn car!Geesh, I had a hell of a time rolling my ass out of bed this morning (rubbing eyes and yawning). Which I can't understand why, because today brings the kick off of one of my favorite things....Notre Dame football! Even though I am saddened by the summer coming to and end, I always look forward to this time of year. But none-the-less I managed to jump up and make my morning cup of tea (I'm giving coffee up for a while) and it looked to be the start of a good day.Or so I thought.About a month ago, I was taking a friend home after a meeting. First let me say that I had just got my car back from the shop after having a new front end put on it and I couldn't wash my car for 30 days (per "Buck"). Anyhow, the guy in front of me was turning left and got in the left hand turn lane as I continued in the "forward" lane. His passenger rolled down his window and "flung" (is that a word?) the contents of his cup all ove...
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Junkie Journal: August 31st
2007-09-01 04:31:00
~I'm an alcoholic and a cocaine addict. I took my first drink when I was 13 and was drinking on a regular basis by the time I was 16. I started messing around with cocaine when I was 22 briefly, and didn't touch it again until 4 years ago. Over the last 4 years of my life I have gone through a divorce, lost my grandmother, been in rehab twice, the most recent stay in December of 2005, and been to jail twice.The last year and few months have been a constent struggle for me to stay sober, and I relapsed a few months ago after being sober for a little over a year. I thought I was bigger than this disease and I was just reminded that I'm not.I've tried drinking and using every way. Just drinking alcohol, just smoking pot, just drinking wine, only drinking on the weekends (yeah, that lasted 'til 'bout Wednesday), you name it~I tried it. I kept looking for that secret formula to keep my drinking and using under control, but never found it. What I did find was that my life had become...
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