GymsanityGymsanityA running account of the lack of common sense at the gym. Articles
Actually, Yes
2008-06-03 17:29:00 This entry was originally posted on March 14, 2007. Updated at bottom. The Rest Of The Story My nightmare featuring crazed gym ball users keeps getting worse. Remember the guy standing on the exercise ball with his dumbbells? I guess balance really is an issue: So I saw the guy on the swiss ...
Point Of No Return
2007-10-28 12:53:00 I found the following handwritten sign taped to the mirror in a corner of my gym: When you are caught sticking the bar in the wall, you will be asked to leave and not return. MGMT A little explanation here. The t-bar row is one of the best exercises for your back. Unfortunately, too ... More About: Back , Gyms , Return , Point
Good Looking
2007-10-21 13:53:00 In an attempt to make amends for last week?s goof-off of a post, I?ve done some actual thinking about what motivates people to come into the gym. For sure, there?s a certain subset that buys the membership or hires the trainer simply for the status. Beyond the poseurs, however, there are three kinds of people who ... More About: Motivation , Good
Placeholder
2007-10-13 15:00:00 I?ve never talked about my job before on this blog ? frankly I don?t even think I?m even allowed to. Regardless, I feel compelled to share a colleague?s amazing demonstration of how to prepare a presentation when you?re short on time. It was a marvelous display of the flexibility of the English language. Taking a ... More About: Motivation
Equipment Failure
2007-10-07 21:24:00 There?s an old law school joke about the failing student with a bookshelf full of books. Performing terribly, he doesn?t crack the binding on the books he already owns, but instead goes out and buys more books. At the gym yesterday, I noticed this scrawny guy with brilliant white running shoes striding into ... More About: Equipment , Failure , Lure
The Sky Is Falling
2007-09-30 23:54:00 This week the roof caved in at my gym. Seriously: Wet chunks of ceiling tile were splattered across the floor, and puddles splashed my shoes when I walked from one machine to the next. I decided it was time to at least explore alternatives among local gyms. At the first gym, I saved myself ... More About: Back , Gyms
Jitters
2007-09-23 15:03:00 Since no one has risen in defense of the sport of swimming, I?ll guess I’ll just do it myself: Dear Muscleman, Though you claim to have spent years as a competitive swimmer, you seem to have missed the most rewarding aspect of the sport ? the competition against yourself. As you know, the most important benchmarks ... More About: Gyms , Cardio
Taking A Hint
2007-09-08 15:45:00 I get very nervous when I have to host a dinner party. My fear has nothing to do with the food prep or social anxiety, however. I am simply focused on making sure everyone leaves my house promptly when the party is over. I have a few tools available to give people the hint. I’m ... More About: Gyms , Taking
Mind Games
2007-09-02 18:00:00 People underestimate the mental soreness that follows from serious training. Just as the anticipation of pain is as bad as pain itself, the mental preparation required for a big lift ? or an entire leg day for that matter ? is as exhausting as the physical workout. I know what happens to me ... More About: Games , Mind , Mind Games
Washed Away
2007-08-26 15:08:00 Every morning, my gym rubs my nose it. On my way to the locker room, the gym’s layout forces me to walk past the swimming pool - a reminder not only of wasted gym fees, but also of my deeper philosophical objections to the whole activity. Let me be blunt: Stripping down to your banana hammock ... More About: Gyms , Cardio
Tough Read
2007-08-19 12:53:00 I?m always worried by the guys who bring bodybuilding ?how-to? books onto the gym floor. My first reaction is similar to when I spot a car with a Student Driver sign: I slowly back away and give him a wide berth. Recently, I?ve been thinking about that scene from Spies Like Us, when ... More About: Read , Cardio , Tough
A Farewell To Arms
2007-08-12 20:07:00 Though technically not one of the most outstanding things I?ve ever seen in the gym, Arnold Schwarzenegger?s visit to my high school in 1991 definitely ranks up there as one of my top moments in bodybuilding. Arnold?s limo arrived at the football field and drove the long way around the track. Finally, Arnold got out of ... More About: Arms , Farewell , Fare , Well
Burn Out
2007-08-06 03:24:00 Rest is an important part of every athlete’s training routine. I find that after just a few days away from the gym, I return to workouts that possess more energy, more enthusiasm, and that joints and sinews bend pain free. The same principle also holds true for creative intensity. I?ve decided to take ... More About: Burn , Burn out
Heat Of The Moment
2007-07-29 13:30:00 As I watch Seinfeld in syndication, I?m struck by how much of the show?s humor takes place at the gym. There?s George Costanza as the urninator: ?It?s all pipes, what?s the difference?!? You?ve got Elaine Benes feeling up Teri Hatcher in the sauna. And speaking of saunas, how about Kramer?s greatest line, ... More About: Heat , Moment , Cardio
Are Bodybuilders Dumb?
2007-07-22 19:38:00 Let?s take a look around my gym early on a Saturday morning. You have to figure that the folks showing up before 9 a.m. on the weekend take the activity seriously enough. We?ve got one guy wearing dark sunglasses, in this windowless gym prone to power failures. Another guy, dressed in a Barney-the-dinosaur ... More About: Dumb , Back , Gyms , Bodybuilders , Builder
Body Paint
2007-07-14 14:04:00 Joe Weider?s 1980’s bodybuilding bible, at 528 pages, gets it wrong for only one single paragraph. Weider points out that while bodybuilders literally carry their sport around with them, they should never under any circumstances wear shirts so tight that the shirts seem painted on. I think Weider?s aim was to discourage lifters ... More About: Body , Paint
No Smiling, Grinning or Laughing
2007-07-08 15:02:00 As a society, we do an excellent job making life easier for those with the greatest need. Handicapped individuals get parking spaces closest to the building. The elderly find reserved seating nearest the subway door. And on any sinking ship, it?s women and children into the lifeboats first. For ... More About: Etiquette , Grin , Laugh , Laughing
Follow The Money
2007-07-01 21:31:00 I imagine the neat thing about being rich ? and I?m talking really rich ? is that you can indulge your interests in the extreme. John Travolta pursued his love of flight by earning a commercial pilot?s license, then building a house attached to an airplane hangar connected to a private runway. Steve ... More About: Money , Gyms
Over The Top
2007-06-24 21:53:00 There is a whole class of people that have been ignored by this blog but deserve better: the compulsive overexerciser. I?ve even lived in my own denial for years, but I think I finally reached the acceptance stage. I have always been careful to finish my run before sunrise, especially in summer. But ...
Top 10 Reasons To Switch Gyms
2007-06-17 22:51:00 The most important factor in deciding which gym to join is - let’s face it - proximity. I have heard of guys that drive 20 or 30 miles to their gym of choice, something out of the question for those of us planning to keep our day jobs. Still, there are definitely occasions ... More About: Switch , Gyms , Reasons , Sons , Witch
Like Fine Wine
2007-06-10 21:55:00 Long time imaginary reader Serious in Seattle has dropped me another note: Muscleman, Your blog is beginning to affect my motivation to go exercise. Frankly, I don?t know how you do it. Just since January, you?ve survived terrible gym music, exasperating slobs, crazed gym ball users, noxious fumes, busted equipment, and idiots trying to fight, ... More About: Wine , Chest , Like , Fine
Fight Club
2007-06-02 22:32:00 I get into a fight in the gym about once every 7 years. Every time, it?s with some steroid-addled gorilla. You know the type: a giant grouch, wearing a heavy sweatshirt and baggy running pants, acting as if the rest of us are invading his private gym. Side note: If you?re built like a Greek statue, ... More About: Etiquette , Fight , Club , Fight Club
Gatekeeper
2007-05-27 16:38:00 I?ve invested a great deal of time and thought over the years into sneaking visiting relatives into gyms. Restrictive guest policies combined with the crazy cost of one-time gym passes means there?s real pressure to try and outthink the front desk staff. My uncle is a master in this area. He?s one of ... More About: Gyms
Trendspotting
2007-05-19 19:53:00 My grandfather always told me if I hung on to old clothes long enough, they?d eventually come back in style. And generally, this fashion phenomenon is harmless: wide neckties give way to thin ties which are replaced by wide ties. However, after being exposed to one man?s gym attire yesterday, I?m here to sound the ... More About: Ends , Trend
Pain In The Abs
2007-05-13 20:40:00 Funny thing, abs. (Funny weird, not funny haha.) People obsess about this body part the most, yet nearly everyone tries to get away with doing the least. Take the ab-jiggler. I don?t know what this gizmo is actually called, but I saw a remarkable infomercial recently. The idea is that you wrap ... More About: Pain , The A
Hard Sell
2007-05-05 15:06:00 Checking out a new gym is a bittersweet experience for me. On the one hand, I enjoy walking the gym floor, seeking out the latest equipment as well as old favorites. On the other hand, I really despise the used car salesman approach to membership. I’ve learned to consider unreliable any promises other than ... More About: Hard , Sell
Mirror On The Wall
2007-04-28 21:41:00 Gyms tend to make too big a deal of mirror etiquette. The list of posted rules will always include something about dropping weights, some gym-specific oddball rule like ?No beverages except water allowed on the gym floor,? and then something about not interfering with members? line-of-sight to the wall mirror. I?m a big ... More About: Etiquette , Wall , Mirror , The wall
Child Care
2007-04-22 19:59:00 Whenever I see a dad drag his 11 or 12 year old son to the gym, I?m reminded of the dog owner who forces his golden retriever to join him in a three mile jog. I really do feel bad for each kid. Every time, he looks bewildered and intimidated, as if he?s joining his ... More About: Etiquette , Care , Child
Noise Pollution
2007-04-15 01:29:00 I worked out in a gym last week that had on display the biggest indoor sign I?d ever seen. It was more like a billboard, in 2000 point font, hanging above the dumbbell rack: DO NOT DROP WEIGHTS. The dropping of weights, dumbbells in particular, seems to be one of the top etiquette issues at ... More About: Pollution , Poll , Noise
Giving It Your All
More articles from this author:2007-04-08 20:23:00 Overheard at the gym today: I know it?s a nice, cool Easter Sunday. But I came in anyway because I wanted to go through some motion to appease myself.? More About: Your , Giving , Ving 1, 2, 3 |
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