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What is intimacy and why is it so important?
2007-07-19 19:25:00
What is intimacy and why is it so importantIntimacy is about being emotionally close to your partner, about being able to let your guard down, and let him or her know how you really feel. Intimacy is also about being able to accept and share in your partner's feelings, about being there when he/she wants to let their defences down.We all have an `inner world' of feelings and experiences, the world of our day dreams, hopes, fears, hurts and memories, the world of our 'inner-most' thoughts. To be able to share our 'inner-world' with a partner we love, and to be able to share our partner's experiences, is one of the most rewarding aspects of a relationship.Intimacy often doesn't need words, but being able to put feelings and experiences into words makes intimacy more likely to occur. Intimacy involves being able to share the whole range of feelings and experiences we have as human beings - pain and sadness, as well as happiness and love.Most of us, however, find it easier to sh...
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Example of how Stress can effect Children
2007-07-19 00:45:00
Example of how Stress can effect Children Uploaded by Peyton on Jun 15, 2006 Disturbing, resilience, and courageous are merely a glimpse of how impacting the story of Mary Karr’s life was growing up as a child in an unpredictable home life. Reading about situations that Mary and her sister experienced made me think about my own childhood with its crisis and misfortunes. I myself have never come close to experiencing anything in my life like she had, but how she described the situations she endured made me feel her frustrations and vulnerabilities. Even with the difference in the time era from today Mary’s traumatic and stressful childhood growing up in the 60’s coincides with what we have been learning in this class. There are many examples that can be related to the information about stress and how it affects children in today’s society. The way she starts her memoir is like she is unfolding memories she had tucked away during the pecks of the stressful and at many times...
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Job Stress can affect your children
2007-07-19 00:39:00
Job stress can affect your childrenWorking parents often bring a bad day home to their kidsLiveScienceUpdated: 6:40 a.m. AKT Jan 25, 2007NEW YORK - Working parents might think they leave it at the office, but kids know better. Whether adults realize it or not, their job-related stress affects their children, scientists said here this week at the annual meeting of the American Psychoanalytic Association.Over the past 30 years, time spent at the office has jumped 10 hours a week. And one in three employees in the United States reports feeling chronically overworked, said Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute in New York.“By all of our measures, jobs have become much more hectic and demanding," Galinsky said. "People feel like they don’t have enough time to get everything done.” And that includes spending time, let alone quality time, with childrenEven if parents bring no actual work home, they definitely carry the residual impact of their day in the offi...
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Weathering our Feelings
2007-07-17 19:32:00
Weathering our feelingsPosted by Wendy in Health, Love & Relationships, Power & Energy, Sustainability, FamiliesOur feelings are like weather patterns. They are changeable and act on the environment with great power. They inform and distract with their intensity. They reflect the nature of the moment with great accuracy. Just as our changing weather patterns are shifting and changing the world we live in, our ability to experience and share our feelings in meaningful ways has the power to shift the emotional landscape of our lives.Yet feelings are for many people a locked box: an experience that overwhelms and is difficult to express. We are taught in a variety of circumstances and for a variety of reasons to suppress our feelings. We learn to silence our feelings so well that the messages in our bodies are not even discernable. Suppressed feelings are not as invisible as you might think. They take on a life in our dreams and eventually become diseases in our bodies. Our inability t...
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Why Do we fall in Love?
2007-07-17 19:23:00
Why Do We Fall in Love ?Loving and being loved adds richness to our lives. When people feel close to others they are happier and even healthier. Love helps us feel important, understood, and secure.But each kind of love has its own distinctive feel. The kind of love we feel for a parent is different from our love for a baby brother or best friend. And the kind of love we feel in romantic relationships is its own unique type of love.Our ability to feel romantic love develops during adolescence. Teens all over the world notice passionate feelings of attraction. Even in cultures where people are not allowed to act on or express these feelings, they're still there. It's a natural part of growing up to develop romantic feelings and sexual attractions to others. These new feelings can be exciting — or even confusing at first.The Magical Ingredients of Love RelationshipsLove is such a powerful human emotion that experts are constantly studying it. They've discovered that love has three...

Add Trust to your Relationship
2007-07-16 17:44:00
Add Trust To Your Relation ship by S. A. BakerTrust is something that is important to every single relationship you have. No matter if it is a relationship of friends, family, or even a relationship of lovers; trust must be there to make it successful. So, if you are noticing a lack of trust within your relationship, how can you get trust back into your relationship? How can trust be incorporated into your life, daily? How can you trust if you’ve been hurt in relationships before?It is hard to add trust into a relationship that is already damaged. But, it is necessary in the most immediate way. Relationships are built on qualities like trust. If the trust in your relationship is week, chances are good that the relationship will suffer in the long run. If you are constantly questioning or worry about your relationship, then you have no trust in your partner. If you trust in them, then you know that they have your best interests at their heart just as you do for them.To add trust to y...
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Impact of Parental Conflict and Childrens Futures
2007-07-16 17:28:00
New studies confirm impact of parental conflict on children's futuresBy William G. GilroyTwo new studies lend further support to research by E. Mark Cummings, a University of Notre Dame professor of psychology, on the impact of parental conflict behavior on their children's future behavior.Cummings, the Notre Dame Professor of Psychology, and researchers from Rochester University and the Catholic University of America, found that the manner in which parents handle everyday marital conflicts has a significant effect on how secure their children feel, and, in turn, significantly affects their future emotional adjustment."A useful analogy is to think about emotional security as a bridge between the child and the world," Cummings said. "When the marital relationship is functioning well, it serves as a secure base, a structurally sound bridge to support the child's exploration and relationships with others."When destructive marital conflict erodes the bridge, children may lack confide...
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Healing
2007-07-11 19:00:00
I am the healing force. I trust in the movement of love. I release myself (my family, my friends [can name them individually]) into the hands of love. I am the love in all things. I have no need to hold on to anything because I am the love in all things. It is safe for me to let go of all worry and just reveal the love that I am. It is okay for me to just be. I let go of all responsibility except the responsibility to be love. I trust in the power of love to heal my body. I trust in the love given to me by my doctors (family, friends, etc.) to help my body heal itself. I let go of all worry about the future, knowing that as I yield to love, the very best things possible will happen. I have no need to worry about anyone or anything. I can just be. When I feel afraid, I love my fear.When I feel anxious, I love my anxiety. When I start to feel that I need to be in control, I love my feeling that I need to be in control. I am not afraid of any of my feelings. I love all my feelings. All...
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HEALING
2007-07-11 18:37:00
I am the healing force. I trust in the movement of love. I release myself (my family, my friends [can name them individually]) into the hands of love. I am the love in all things. I have no need to hold on to anything because I am the love in all things. It is safe for me to let go of all worry and just reveal the love that I am. It is okay for me to just be. I let go of all responsibility except the responsibility to be love. I trust in the power of love to heal my body. I trust in the love given to me by my doctors (family, friends, etc.) to help my body heal itself. I let go of all worry about the future, knowing that as I yield to love, the very best things possible will happen. I have no need to worry about anyone or anything. I can just be. When I feel afraid, I love my fear.When I feel anxious, I love my anxiety. When I start to feel that I need to be in control, I love my feeling that I need to be in control. I am not afraid of any of my feelings. I love all my feelings. All...
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HEALING
2007-07-11 18:37:00
I am the healing force. I trust in the movement of love. I release myself (my family, my friends [can name them individually]) into the hands of love. I am the love in all things. I have no need to hold on to anything because I am the love in all things. It is safe for me to let go of all worry and just reveal the love that I am. It is okay for me to just be. I let go of all responsibility except the responsibility to be love. I trust in the power of love to heal my body. I trust in the love given to me by my doctors (family, friends, etc.) to help my body heal itself. I let go of all worry about the future, knowing that as I yield to love, the very best things possible will happen. I have no need to worry about anyone or anything. I can just be. When I feel afraid, I love my fear.When I feel anxious, I love my anxiety. When I start to feel that I need to be in control, I love my feeling that I need to be in control. I am not afraid of any of my feelings. I love all my feelings. All...
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Overcoming Fear
2007-07-10 18:38:00
Overcoming Fear , Uncertainty & Doubt by John D. Moore, MS, CADCFour things you can do to chase away the enemies of goal attainment & move onto reaching you dreams!When he was 32, Dylan fulfilled his longtime dream of becoming a professional body builder. For him, winning first place in the state championship was even more spectacular than he had imagined. Now he set a new goal that would drive his decision making process for the next decade: To become a professional trainer to those who desired to improve their physical appearance. Today, Dylan is runs a thriving business and clears nearly six figures a year.Achieving his goals was anything but easy, because along the way, many people attempted to dissuade him off his path through the use of FUD. Simply put, FUD is Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt. It is quite possibly the most powerful weapon that others will use against you to prevent you from reaching your lifetime goals. Sometimes the use of FUD is insidious, cloaked in a message tha...
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TIPS FOR HAPPY & SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
2007-07-09 18:49:00
TIPS FOR HAPPY & SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGETen ways of increasing happiness in your marriage and making it a successful one. The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.Enter the Marriage With the Right Intention and Renew this OftenDo Not Hold Unrealistic ExpectationsEmphasize the Best in Your SpouseBe Your Mate's Best FriendSpend Quality Time TogetherExpress Feelings OftenAdmit to Mistakes and Ask for ForgivenessNever Bring Up Mistakes of the PastSurprise Each Other at TimesHave a Sense of HumorQuick Tips for Discussions and DisagreementsBegin with the intentio...
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Living, Loving and Learning
2007-07-08 21:40:00
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.To reach out for another is to risk involvement.To expose feelings is to risk rejection.To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.To love is to risk not being loved in return.To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love.Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.He has forfeited his freedom.Only a person who takes risks is free.From the book Living , Loving and Learning by Dr. Leo Buscaglia
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Does Couples Counseling Work?
2007-07-08 18:59:00
Couples counseling can indeed work very well to rescue a faltering relationship. It can also improve relationships that aren't particularly troubled. Of course, there are no guarantees in life, so whether it is successful for any specific couple will depend on a number of factors.There are several things that it helps to know when beginning couples counseling. One is that if you're expecting the counselor to agree with you about all your mate's shortcomings, you're going to be disappointed. A good counselor will help a couple recognize the real problem areas and find ways to deal with their issues appropriately, often in ways that can actually strengthen the relationship. But it's not about who's right and who's wrong or taking sides in any way. It's about the relationship and making it as good as possible for both partners.Another good thing to know is that often whether couples counseling is successful or not depends on whether both people are willing to see it through and...
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Loyalty
2007-07-06 18:09:00
Sunday, June 24, 2007I came to the bay area alone. I leave the bay area alone. Packing alone, cleaning out my Oakland apartment alone, seeing myself off. I guess I didn’t come here so much to develop roots, although in some fundamental way this occurred. I came to really understand what roots are. It is a hard lesson to learn. I came to love so many people in the bay area and I learned more about myself by loving these people. I cannot move on without making note of this. Otherwise the pain, struggle, and tears would have been in vain. Although we won’t be living or working within the same physical community, there are very few loved ones who are deeply rooted in my heart for life.I have learned the importance of loyalty. Being loyal and learning to identify and appreciate those who are loyal are essential to building fam. Loyalty is a major aspect of how a person’s character is determined. Loyalty is defined by the ability to be consistently reliable in their word and action....

Suicide as a Means of Communication?
2007-07-06 17:59:00
Why do People Consider Suicide ?Suicide is not random; it is not done without purpose. It is a way out of a problem, or a crisis, or an unbearable situation. Suicide is both a movement away from pain and a movement towards the ending of consciousness. Thus people consider suicide for a number of reasons.Suicide as a means of communication A person who actively considers suicide may be trying to communicate an intense, deeply-felt ’message’ to another person, to their family, their peer group or to society in general. The message may be simply ’I am suffering, I cannot cope, I cannot go on.’ Suicide also may be a way of striking back at others (’I hate you’), or of persuading them not to take an unwanted action (’Don’t do it’), or of expressing feelings without using words (even ’I love you’).Suicide because life is no longer worth living Feeling troubled, isolated, inadequate, or alienated from family, friends or from society, may result over time in ’depressi...
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The Balance Sheet of Life
2007-07-04 17:35:00
BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE Our Birth is our Opening Balance ! Our Death is our Closing Balance! Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities Our Creative Ideas are our Assets Heart is our Current Asset Soul is our Fixed Asset Brain is our Fixed Deposit Thinking is our Current Account Achievements are our Capital Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade Friends are our General Reserves Values & Behavior are our Goodwill ...
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Does ADHD Exist?
2007-07-03 18:37:00
Does ADHD Exist ?But, hold on, here’s Gregory K. Fritz, MD, Bradley Hospital medical director and Hasbro Children’s Hospital child and family psychiatry director, making an equally emphatic statement to the contrary in his article ‘ADHD Is No Myth’.“Myth: ADHD does not exist as a real psychiatric disorder; rather, it is an unfortunate labeling of normal childhood behavior promulgated by ineffectual parents, incompetent teachers and the pharmaceutical industry.ADHD has received more scientific scrutiny than any other childhood psychiatric disorder since Charles Bradley’s initial 1937 report of effective treatment with stimulants of children at the Emma Pendleton Bradley Hospital in East Providence. ADHD has met the same standards as other major psychiatric disorders included in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition. Studies have shown that experts can reliably agree on the diagnosis of individual patient...

Stress in Relationships
2007-07-02 18:55:00
Stress in Relation ships The following chapter is an excerpt from The 14 Day Stress Cure and is approximately 21 printed pages long. You may print it out if you like and remember to return to http://www.stresscure.com often, as we add more materials to help you cope with stress.Copyright © 1991, M.C. Orman, MD, FLP. All Rights Reserved.vine graphicRelationship problems are another type of "stress" we all experience from time to time. Conflicts can arise with our spouse, parents, children, friends, co-workers, employees, bosses, or even with total strangers.As common as our relationship problems are, we often misunderstand what causes them to occur. Much of the time they come from hidden conversations and action patterns within us, not from the behavior or attitudes of others. The problem is we often don't notice the role that we play.In addition, most people are confused about what it takes to create happy, successful, long-term interpersonal relationships. This is another hidden ca...
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Communication
2007-06-28 23:19:00
Marital First Aid KitBy Bryce KayeEmotional Starvation SyndromeExplanationEmotional starvation is probably the most common malady to afflict couples today. It seems to be a scourge of the new millenium. There are a number of economic and sociological factors contributing to this but we'll save that discussion for another time. "Emotional starvation" is really a metaphor for not getting your dependency needs met. In this context, we are not referring to relying on others to make your decisions. Instead, we are referring to the basic need that we have to perceive that we are important to others. We all need emotional support (except perhaps a few psychopaths). Emotional support from others helps us to feel that our life has meaning beyond our jobs and tangible accomplishments. On a subtle but profound psychological level, we are hungry for love and are emotionally dependent in that way.When we form a couple with another partner, we want to feel loved by them. Unfortunately, this is n...
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Conflict with Others
2007-06-27 02:26:00
University of Cambridge Counselling ServiceCONFLICT WITH OTHERSConflict is normalAll of us have interactions with other people which do not go as well as we would like. At one level we may simply feel misunderstood and are often able to shrug this off without much difficulty. But sometimes we can feel personally attacked and our first thought may be to lash out in anger or fear. In these circumstances the strong feelings we experience may make it difficult to hear what someone is trying to say to us. In extreme situations, such confrontation can feel threatening to our overall wellbeing and functioning.Some common situations where students find themselves at risk of conflict with others are: * differences with room mates over house rules * disagreements with parents' wishes or advice * miscommunications with boyfriends / girlfriends / partners * challenges from tutors, directors of studies, supervisors or department heads * clashes of opinion in discussions with peer...

How to Communicate Anything to Anyone
2007-06-27 02:00:00
How to Comm unicate Anything to AnyoneFrom Essential Communications Skills Lab training course"A child repeats his communication to you several times. A man, obviously distracted and worried, refuses to share his uncertainties with his wife. A manager, clearly unhappy with an employee's performance, hesitates to broach the subject. Your teenager remains silent about her insecurities at school, until she brings home a D in algebra."In these and countless other events every day, our failures to relate boil down to our failure to communicate. Well-publicized studies tell us that certain communication situations elicit our most paralyzing fears, while our common sense tells us that this suffering is unnecessary. While "good communication" becomes a buzz phrase as accepted as "good motherhood," the wherewithal often remains a mystery.Why? Is it that we as a species are simply new at it? Are we saddled with insurmountable personality conflict in our individualistic society? Is some of the ...
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Communication-Awareness practice
2007-06-26 18:27:00
Exercise: Awareness Practice Learn to Notice What's Happening!By Peter K. Gerlach, M * This is one of over 150 articles focused on building high-nurturance family relationships and preventing divorce. This introduction describes the Web site's purpose and the best ways to use its resources. Each article is part of a mosaic of ideas, so the more you read, the more sense they'll all make. These articles augment, vs. replace, other qualified professional help. The "/" in re/marriage and re/divorce notes that it may be a stepparent's first union. "Co-parents" means both bioparents, or any of the three or more related stepparents and bioparents co-managing a multi-home nuclear stepfamily. Clicking links below will open an informational pop-up or a full window, so please turn off your browser's popup blocker, or allow popups from this site. Before continuing, reflect: why are you reading this - what do you need? + + ...
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The Truth About Child Molestation
2007-06-24 19:59:00
The Truth About Child Mole station Sexual AbuseThe Child Protection ProgramIn 2005, there were 189 confirmed cases of child sexual abuse in Rhode Island. Carole Jenny, MD, a specialist in pediatrics and child abuse at Hasbro Children’s Hospital, says this number is only “the tip of the iceberg” as most cases of sexual abuse go unreported and undocumented.Jenny offers tips on how to help protect your children from possible victimization. She also gives advice on how to support victims of abuse and start the healing process.Choose Caretakers Carefully.Jenny says the most important consideration when working to protect your children is to “be very careful about who watches your kids.” Make sure that your children’s caretakers are people you completely trust. Jenny says she is “amazed when families leave their children with neighbors, casual friends and people they barely know.”Jenny also suggests that parents be wary of “a male friend who insists on babysitting your kid...
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INDEPTH: MARRIAGE
2007-06-23 18:52:00
INDEPTH: MARRIAGEMarriage by the numbersCBC News Online | March 9, 2005CBC/ENVIRONICS POLL RESULTS:April 10, 2005: What do Canadians think of same-sex marriage?April 8, 2005: Should Prince Charles become king after his marriage to Camilla Parker Bowles?» moreDespite recent increases in common-law unions, marriage continues to form the foundation for most Canadian families. Statistics Canada researchers say that in 2002, about 84 per cent of Canadian families were headed by married couples.Average age for first marriage:The average age for first marriages is rising steadily for both brides and grooms. In 2000, first-time brides were 31.7 years old, while grooms proclaimed their first marriage vows at an average age of 34.3.Only two decades earlier, women and men were 25.9 and 28.5 years old, respectively, when they got married. Statistics Canada attributes the change to greater economic opportunities for women and the growing popularity of common-law unions.Common-law relationships:...
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The Top 10 Compulsive Behaviors
2007-06-22 19:15:00
The Top 10 Compulsive Behavior SymptomsCategory: Personal Development: Basic (BA3)Originally Submitted on 5/11/97. The following ten behaviors are probably the most common of what could be categorized with "Obsessive-Compulsive" disorders. Many of them are "curable," but the person who has any of these compulsions should seek *professional* help in dealing with their particular problem area.1. "Checking" Behaviors. Worrying if you turned off lights or stove, locked the door, etc. Excessive daily checking and re-checking of these types of things is a compulsive behavior.2. Needing to Buy Something Each Time You Go Shopping. Lack of ANY willpower when it comes to buying when out shows compulsive behavior. This often leads to severe financial and business problems unless the person is financially very well off.3. Gambling For Recreation, But Continually Losing & Going Into Debt. Many people gamble for fun, and when they lose all their money they go home or quit. Compulsive ...
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Family Roles
2007-06-21 18:35:00
Family RolesIt is widely acknowledged that the effect that our family and chosen role model's has upon us is fundamental to our individual development.In a dysfunctional or psychologically unhealthy family we inherit or develop negative roles or defence mechanisms that we can become trapped in. These are often manifested most when under stress or in a crisis situation where our learnt defence mechanisms become effective.In contrast to functional or healthy families that foster positive development where trust, love and honest, open relationships thrive, dysfunctional families may produce insecurities and stop ‘normal’ development.Commonly one or more members of the family, either parents or child will have some problem that affects the rest of the unit. They may be alcoholic, abusive, absent, neglectful, or possess some other disorder.As in any family there is likely to be at least one ‘healthy’ individual who tries to compensate for the failings of those around them. * ...
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Adverse Consequences of Alcohol Abuse and Dependence
2007-06-21 18:27:00
Adverse Consequence s of Alcohol Abuse and DependenceW. Alexander Morton, Pharm.D., BCPPProfessor of Pharmacy PracticeAssociate Professor ofPsychiatry and Behavioral SciencesMedical University of South Carolina;Institute of Psychiatry, Charleston, SCSophie Robert, Pharm.D.Psychiatric Pharmacy Practice ResidentMedical University of South Carolina,Charleston, SCAlcohol, also known as ethanol and ethyl alcohol, is an interesting drug for a numberof reasons. Although most consumers do not consider alcohol to be a drug, alcohol in fact may be the most thoroughly studied of all drugs. The scientific literature contains numerous documented effects of alcohol.1 However, many healthcare practitioners fail to appreciate the clinical picture produced by alcohol in patients with undiagnosed conditions who use or abuse alcohol. When presented with a case involving early physical symptoms of alcohol abuse, primary care physicians in one study failed to diagnose the problem 94% of the time.2 In add...
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Nuclear Family Emotional System
2007-06-18 18:35:00
Nuclear Family Emotion al System The concept of the nuclear family emotional system describes four basic relationship patterns that govern where problems develop in a family. People's attitudes and beliefs about relationships play a role in the patterns, but the forces primarily driving them are part of the emotional system. The patterns operate in intact, single-parent, step-parent, and other nuclear family configurations.Clinical problems or symptoms usually develop during periods of heightened and prolonged family tension. The level of tension depends on the stress a family encounters, how a family adapts to the stress, and on a family's connection with extended family and social networks. Tension increases the activity of one or more of the four relationship patterns. Where symptoms develop depends on which patterns are most active. The higher the tension, the more chance that symptoms will be severe and that several people will be symptomatic.The four basic relationship pattern...
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Don't Seethe in Silence
2007-06-16 19:11:00
Don't Seethe in Silence by Heather Long Family life, married life - none of it is perfect and most couples that are married know this. There is the promise of married life when we're young - an image of the perfect happily ever after. Too often when a young couple, not prepared for the rigors of married life, discover that it's not a happily ever after unless they put in a lot of effort.Sponsors (article continues below)Understanding this and accepting it is called being mindful in your acceptance. Your married life isn't going to be perfect. You and your spouse will argue. Your kids will yell at you. You'll be angry with them. When you can accept this, you won't seethe in silence and you won't walk around with a belly full of resentment and misery.No One Is PerfectIt can be hard to wake up and realize that no one is perfect - not you and not your spouse. It can be hard maintain the expectation of perfection. It can create a great deal of stress on both of you and your ma...