I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog

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Fix Me (Part III of IV)
2008-02-16 06:58:00
Fix Me (Part I of IV)Fix Me (Part II ov IV)The other patients hung pictures on the outside of their doors, mostly from when they were healthy. I added one decoration to my room, but it wasn?t a self-portrait ? it was a Rocky poster. One doctor joked that he wanted to see me throw a few punches. I?m certain he didn?t understand the reason I put it up. He probably thought it was because I enjoyed the movie and admired Rocky Balboa. Both are true, but not the major reason. The movie is widely considered a classic. And the character, Rocky, was one of the easiest to root for of any movie I?ve seen. Not only do I admire the character Rocky, but I also admire Stallone for playing him beautifully and creating him. Stallone forwent guaranteed wealth to act the role instead of selling the script, a huge risk on his part.The major reason I hung the poster across from my bed was inspiration ? more specifically, the fear that some time during the transplant process I would need to be inspired. ...

Fix Me (Part II of IV)
2008-02-11 07:02:00
Fix Me (Part I of IV)My first night in the hospital was the night before treatment began ? the treatment that would wipe out my existing bone marrow. Once my parents and Aunt Marchi left, I watched Training Day before going to sleep. That night it was easy to forget that I would soon be getting inhumane doses of chemotherapy and radiation, ?Ten times more toxic than for your previous cancer,? as one doctor described it. I had my own room with an adjustable bed, a large chair with a footrest, a TV, my PlayStation 2 and DVDs up the wazoo. I had pretty girls looking over me from their desk just outside my room. In every facet except one, I was in heaven.And that one facet was terrible, horrible, intolerable, and fortunately only one week long because it would?ve killed me if it was much longer. Even though it was only a week, its effect on me lasted far longer.The conditioning regimen temporarily left me unable to taste. My saliva no longer resembled a liquid ? my spit stuck to m...

Fix Me (Part I of IV)
2008-02-06 22:17:00
On the plane ride I wore a high school Senior Buddy t-shirt that said ?Need Help?? on the front, and ?Follow Me? on the back. I wasn?t actually a Senior Buddy, but in homeroom I saw an extra shirt lying around so I snagged it.As I walked to my window seat a stranger looked at me and said, ?I need help.??What?? I asked, wondering if he was even talking to me.?Help me?it?s on your shirt.??Oh. Yeah. Follow Me,? I said pointing to the back. He laughed.I wasn?t used to that kind of friendly, albeit strange, conversation. But I was headed to the Midwest for my umbilical cord stem cell transplant and my mom, who grew up in Springfield, Illinois, said that?s how people are out there. She?ll be the first to tell you it?s the exact opposite of Brooklyn, where my dad is from. She likes to tell a story of when they were in a grocery store and asked an employee where an item was located. He turned away from my parents, stuck his nose high in the air and answered their question, refusing to look ...
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Their Perfect Legacy
2008-02-04 16:57:00
During the Giants final drive I looked at my dad and said, ?If the Patriots keep blowing opportunities, they?re going to lose this game.? They let an interception slip through their hands and let Eli slip out of a critical sack. They lost the game because of these and other missed opportunities, as well as a relentless Giants pass rush.I don?t know how the Patriots will bounce back from last night?s Super Bowl loss. I doubt they, or any other team, will ever again go 16-0 in the regular season. This was their one chance to go down as an elite team in American sports history. It would?ve been the pinnacle of success ? an undefeated season. Even if they win another Super Bowl they may always think, ?What if.? They?ve already won three, and a fourth championship will still be just a fourth championship. It won?t be perfection. I think they?ll be sick about this loss forever.For the legacies of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, it would?ve been better if they had never gone perfect and hadn...
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Peekaboo
2008-01-25 03:26:00
For my first cancer I got five weeks of radiation directed at my hip region, including some of my bowel. This caused mild diarrhea by the second or third week, gradually leading to the atomic variety. The hospital was about an hour from my house, so it was never a bad idea to use the toilet before my departure, even if I didn?t have the acute urge to shit.The bathroom was very large for one person, but that?s just what it was. It had only one sink, one toilet, a lock on the door and tons of open space.I remember one specific afternoon toward the end of the five-week period. I expected heavy traffic on Interstate 66, and I also needed to poop. Waiting it out wasn?t an option, regardless of how much I preferred the comfort of my own home. I turned the light on, closed the door, and dropped trow.I wouldn?t wish for anyone to be in the bathroom on that warm, sunny afternoon. No matter how bad a person he is, or how terrible a transgression he committed, that punishment would not fit the...

Again (Part III of III)
2008-01-18 03:42:00
Again (Part I of III)Again (Part II of III)As I said in Welcome to the Good Life (Part II of II), during my original cancer I had few responsibilities, and thus not much to worry about. When I got home at the beginning of March, and when I was still at UVA in a sense, I had even fewer responsibilities. I didn?t have to think about schoolwork. I didn?t have to plan for nighttime activities because my friends were mostly away at college. I didn?t have the pressure of hitting on girls and consequently getting shot down. All I had to do was find ways to entertain myself and get blood counts and transfusions. I was actually at peace more than any other point in my life. Bearing in mind I was in the process of finding a bone marrow donor and would need a transplant for long-term survival, that sounds absolutely insane. But it really was a very happy and peaceful two months.Certainly, part of what made it so peaceful was all the snow we got that winter. There were two large snowstorms whil...

Again (Part II of III)
2008-01-12 17:35:00
Again (Part I of III)I was almost certain I wouldn?t finish the semester, so I barely went to any classes. I also had restrictions on exercising. And the one time I partied I was terrified the alcohol would cause internal bleeding because of my low platelets. That left my days about as unproductive as you can imagine. My roommate and I used to leave our door open, but I began closing it because I felt like such a loser when people passed by several times and I was still sitting in my chair playing Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2003 and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. The most productive thing I did was make a compilation CD of the best Vice City songs and copy it for my hall mates. There was some kickass 80?s music on that game.My bone marrow was dying so fast it was scary. Within weeks of finding out there was a problem I was already getting blood and platelet transfusions regularly. If I wasn?t in my dorm room playing PlayStation 2, I was probably hooked up to an IV at the UVA hematology/onco...

Again (Part I of III)
2008-01-08 05:57:00
I am king of these parts. All the doctors and nurses know me and tell me how healthy I look. It?s been 28 months since my original cancer diagnosis, and 16 months since I became cancer-free. This is actually more of a social visit than anything else. I haven?t seen these friends of mine since the summer, about six months ago. They ask about my first semester at UVA. They know the reason I?m here is simply following the protocol. I defeated cancer with such relative ease, it?s expected that I?ll remain healthy forever. I feel as strong as I?ve been since before it all started when I was 16. I?ve been exercising and lifting weights on a regular basis. I?m up to 135 pounds on the bench press and climbing ? nothing to brag about, but not too shabby, either.It was the most common of blood tests that changed everything ? the CBC, or Complete Blood Count. It showed that my bone marrow was dying without me even knowing it. No clue, no idea, never crossed my mind, impossible. IMPOSSIBLE. And...
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We Don't Eat Fungus
2008-01-03 02:54:00
After my bone marrow transplant I developed fungal pneumonia. Actually, I got it twice. But, that's not what this story is about. This story is about my dad and his fondness for mushrooms. He ate them on his chicken and with his kasha varnishkes. I, on the other hand, have never eaten mushrooms. They look disgusting. And I don't like the thought of eating fungus.After my transplant my dad continued eating mushrooms. When he asked me if I wanted any I replied, "I don't eat fungus."Gradually, my response evolved into, "I don't eat fungus ? I had fungal pneumonia," finally culminating with, "I don't eat fungus ? it causes fungal pneumonia."That statement is totally untrue, but I said it so often that I brainwashed my dad into believing it until one day he stopped eating mushrooms. Do you know what his response was when I asked him why? "Mushrooms cause fungal pneumonia," he said.I hadn't wanted to ruin his taste for mushrooms, and I probably should've told him that I'd brainwas...

Happy Holidays
2007-12-25 06:18:00
When I was six, give or take, I told my friend Zeke the truth about Santa Claus: his name was Mr. and Mrs. Zeke, he rode in a motor vehicle instead of a sleigh, and he didn?t have enough money to buy gifts for the other five billion people on the planet. Zeke didn?t take it very well, and replied with, ?Oh yeah, well I don?t believe in Hanukah!?As the story goes, Zeke?s mom later called my mom to complain that I shouldn?t be telling her son such blasphemy. Was it wrong of me to share my innate knowledge with my friend? Perhaps. Is it wrong to force little Jewish boys to lie about flying caribou and an old man who trespasses and steals cookies? Absolutely.That said, I?d like to wish you all a belated Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Forefathers Day, Happy New Year, Happy early Birthday to Sandy Koufax, Tiger Woods, LeBron James and me (all December 30), and a Happy Boxing Day.
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How Dare You, Mom and Dad
2007-12-21 04:28:00
The parents of graduating seniors in my high school were able to publish a message to their child in the yearbook. Pictures could be added along with the message. My parents chose to use two pictures: one taken recently, and one from when I was a youngster.When I picked up my yearbook at the end of the year, I flipped to the back to see what kind of embarrassment I should brace myself for. Luckily, there was nothing awkward or humiliating. However, there was something that made me angry ? my parents submitted a toddler picture of my brother, JD.?I can?t believe my own parents don?t remember what I looked like,? I complained to my friends. ?Everybody knows I was a better looking two-year-old.?When I got home I called my mom into the kitchen and opened the yearbook to my segment in the back. ?Notice anything wrong with this?? I asked, pointing to young JD.?No, it looks great. You and JD were both such good-looking kids.??That?s just it?you sent in a picture of JD!?There was a long pau...
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Phat Jam Car Slam
2007-12-16 00:50:00
When I was 16 I nearly got in collisions on a daily basis. Zeke was often in the car with me during these frightening experiences and would give subtle warnings such as ?pole,? ?car,? or in one case, ?big black guy.?I was giving Zeke and Big Easy a ride home after school one afternoon. We met in the lobby where I told them I had phat jams we could listen to ? I got the new CDs of Jay-Z, Eminem and Dr. Dre. We couldn?t have been more stoked to cruise through the mean streets of Northern Virginia with the windows down and the stock stereo system rocking.Shortly after exiting the school parking lot, I turned left onto Liberia Avenue and accelerated to 50 mph as sounds of Dr. Dre?s Chronic 2001 filled the warm air. Once my car climbed over the hill and began its descent, I saw that the light up ahead was red and there was a long line of cars. I was given no warning and there really wasn?t much room to stop. I was also going 15 over the limit. I slammed on my brakes as hard as I possibly...
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Crazy Drinking Story
2007-12-08 18:49:00
During the spring semester of 2004 I was living in a house with three friends, including Duckman and Mr. Mountain Dew. The Thursday night before spring break began, two of our more rowdy friends came to visit (Colossus and Vodka/Benadryl), bringing two of their rowdy friends (Strict and EMP).We were chilling in the living room when Mr. Mountain Dew got a call about a party. At the time my immune system was still recovering from a bone marrow transplant, so I wasn?t supposed to be around large groups of people. But this was meant to be a relatively small birthday party for our friend, RightStuff, at her boyfriend?s house.Duckman opted out, so the other six of us packed into my car and drove down the street to RightStuff?s party. When we got there we all split up and I quickly found myself talking to a hot little number we?ll call Shawty. As the night went on I seemed to be making progress with Shawty, as my friends pounded Long Island Iced Teas and got absolutely hammered.Around midn...
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Bombs Over September (Part II of II)
2007-12-02 03:11:00
Bombs Over September (Part I of II)Toward the end of the year I developed the itch in a bad way ? senioritis, that is. On the morning of May 3, 2002, Big Easy and I planned our escape from school for the first showing of Spider-Man. We produced an elaborate plan just in case the security guard stopped us on our way out. When second period ended we each left our respective classes and nervously headed for the front door. Big Easy was about 20 feet in front of me. Please don?t look back and make us look suspicious. We escaped unharmed and saw Spider-Man in a packed theater. ?I wish I was bitten by a super spider,? Big Easy said when it ended.I had a collection of homework assignments due in my calculus class later that day. I left them with a friend to turn in for me, along with a note that read: ?I had to go see Spider-Man. Please don?t punish me. Actually, today is my last day of physical therapy. After 15 ½ months I?m finally done.? I finished the note with a smiley face.Fifteen an...
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Hardest Hitting Safety in the Land
2007-11-28 18:06:00
Much like other Washington Redskins fans and non-fans living in the DC Metro area, I was deeply saddened by the loss of our star safety, Sean Taylor, early Tuesday morning. This community seems to be in a state of mourning ? Sean was the front page story of The Washington Post both yesterday and today. I never knew him, spoke to him or saw him, and probably never would, but somehow it still feels like I lost a friend.This is the saddest I can remember being in a while. That in itself sounds a little crazy. I mean, he was just a football player, right? Correction: he was just a former All-American safety with a combination of speed, leaping ability, strength and hitting power that we?ve never seen before, right?I can?t speak for why the thousands of other fans have taken his death so hard. I can only speak for myself. And to be honest, this is a new experience for me. In that past I?d feel bad certainly, but I wouldn?t feel the kind of sadness I do now. In fact, I?d probably laugh at...
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Bombs Over September (Part I of II)
2007-11-26 02:41:00
My radiation nurse gave me a Hershey?s chocolate bar and a hug on my last day. I?d miss her a little bit and I?m guessing she missed me. But, we both knew we?d never see each other again. That was her job ? to send people on their way back to normal life or on the road to death.The entire nursing staff on my clinic and hospital floor, as well as all the doctors, wished me good luck with a ?Congratulations? banner. Some of them made a major impression on me and I hoped I did the same to them. I didn?t want them to ever forget that I was the teenage patient who physically and psychologically beat the fucking shit out of bone cancer to the extent they?d never before seen.I always thought it was interesting that I became cancer-free one year after I learned of my tumor, almost to the minute. Not symbolic, just coincidental.My friend, RiddleMeThis, invited me over to his house that night. I had been friends with RiddleMeThis for a while, and always thought he was a cool dude, but never h...
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The Second Atlantic City Trip
2007-11-20 06:17:00
My second visit to Atlantic City was spent quoting the comedian Dave Chappelle, talking shit to Hamburgers for bad directions, and worrying about the ?Check Engine? light that was lit in Froddy?s car the whole ride. We also stayed overnight this time at the Borgata, again without prostitutes.For weeks I told my two friends how casino buffets are amazing and how we had to eat at one. Those of you who have been to Las Vegas know exactly what I?m talking about. Anyway, they bojangled for too long, probably on purpose to spite me, and by the time they were ready to eat the buffet was closed. Coincidentally, the next time Hamburgers went to Atlantic City he ate at a buffet and loved it. I?m still bitter.At midnight we went down to the food court because that was the only place open. While waiting for my order, an obviously crazy and homeless man approached me and asked to see my hand. I looked over at Hamburgers for guidance in regard to the strange request. He was baffled and actually t...
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The First Atlantic City Trip
2007-11-15 06:41:00
Experiencing casinos is almost a rite of passage for 21 year-olds, so two years ago C-Smoke, Big Easy and I took a trip to Atlantic City , New Jersey. After two poor excuses from them, I got stuck driving. That didn?t stop Big Easy from complaining about my music selection, but that?s neither here nor there.We were supposed to leave at noon, but those two are worthless and we ended up leaving at 2:00. If you don?t believe they?re worthless, keep reading.C-Smoke didn?t have any money with him, so he made us stop at his brother?s to borrow some. He expected $50, but only got $40. ?You?re seriously going to Atlantic City with only $40?? I asked. ?That?s not nearly enough.??Don?t worry about it; I?ll be rich in no time. And after I am, the hotel room and hookers are on me.??I brought $40, too,? Big Easy said, laughing. ?And I can?t afford to lose it.??You morons better not complain when you?re broke after an hour.?Big Easy told me to take a short cut, which actually made us lose 30-45 mi...
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Welcome to the Cancer Life (Part III of III)
2007-11-08 07:46:00
When I had to get more chemo following surgery ? almost twice the number of cycles as before my surgery ? I wasn?t too thrilled. I didn?t understand why it was necessary. The tumor was completely dead and had been entirely removed. But, I did as I was told and allowed more gallons of the poison to flow through my veins. There was actually a very good reason for more chemotherapy. Research on different protocols showed that to be the proper amount. But I just wasn?t informed and knew I?d play the role of the cooperative cancer patient, anyway.After surgery, my friends always knew where I was because I couldn?t go anywhere. The one time I left the house to see my surgeon, Zeke and PepperoniNip came around back to my porch fully expecting to see me sitting in my La-Z-Boy. When I wasn?t there they thought something was wrong.By the end of winter I could actually go places. One morning I got blood work done, and then ate breakfast at IHOP with my mom. It started snowing on the way home a...
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Welcome to the Cancer Life (Part II of III)
2007-11-03 06:27:00
People always asked, “How are you?� It was normal enough, but I despised the question because I knew they were really asking about cancer. But some people asked in a manner that said, “I’m glad you’re not dead, but I won’t be surprised when you are.� This often happened when I went to Temple, where people knew me as the guy with cancer whose name was on “The List� – the names of ill people the congregation prayed for.“No, I’m great,� I would respond.“I’m so glad to hear that. Keep it up.�Some fuckface actually had the nerve to question me that same way just THIS SUMMER. I’d been cancer-free for over four years. I politely responded that I was doing fantastic, about to graduate, healthy as an ox and strong as a bull. But really, I wanted to break her fucking neck.Since the age of eight I’ve saved every single card people have given me and stuck them in my desk drawer. A couple weeks ago I went through them so I could create more space. As I read th...
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Welcome to the Cancer Life (Part I of III)
2007-10-29 05:28:00
I can hear the screaming. I can barely remember anything that happened during the first 36 hours after my surgery, but I will always remember the screaming. The dude next to me in the recovery room was whining about his knee pain. The girl to my other side had just had brain surgery. No amount of opiates in the world could stop her pain, stop the screaming.A year after my surgery, Dr. Phil told me they took digital pictures of the operation itself. I asked him to send them to me, and reluctantly, I looked. It was absolutely disgusting. I was split open and the skin was folded down. There was blood everywhere and multiple tubes either going in or coming out. I could see the bone, and if memory serves correct, it was colored blue either because they put dye on it or because of the cancer cells. In short, I was unrecognizable, even to myself.After my first cycle I didn?t think chemo was bad, but by the third cycle I realized it was awful. I may have been Superman, but even Superman thi...
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The Oriole Way
2007-10-24 22:19:00
As usual, my Baltimore Orioles didn?t participate in the baseball playoffs this year. In fact, this was their tenth consecutive losing season.In 1996, during a playoff game between the Yankees and Orioles, a young hoodlum named Jeffrey Maier illegally reached over the wall and grabbed a Derek Jeter fly ball that would?ve fallen into the Baltimore outfielder?s glove. It was ruled a homerun, propelling the Yankees to their first of four World Series Championships in five years. In my extremely biased opinion, if Maier didn?t steal the ball out of the air, the Orioles would?ve gone on to win the World Series that year. Not only did that little thief go unpunished, he became a hero in New York.Despite the poor team performance, my aunt and uncle have been season ticket holders for as long as I can remember. The seats are incredible, located in the third row directly behind the Orioles dugout. They even get on TV anytime a left-handed batter is at the plate. Every year they give my famil...
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Ben vs. Wild
2007-10-21 16:55:00
Last week I saw the movie Into the Wild , which is about a guy (Emile Hirsch) who dips out after college and travels the country with the goal of reaching Alaska and living alone in the wilderness. Along the way, he documents his journey in his diary. Not only did I think it was a very good movie, it also inspired me to go on a similar adventure surviving in the wild and writing. I think it would be fun, exciting, and above all, postpone me getting a job.There are only two problems with my idea. First, I hate insects, bees, snakes, spiders, and most other outdoor critters. For example, last month I reached into my pocket and felt something funny. I pulled it out and it was an enormous beetle. I flipped out, screaming and stripping off almost all my clothes just to make sure there were no more bugs. I clobbered the little bastard with my big shoe for payback.Second, I know almost nothing about surviving in the wild. My limited knowledge comes from two Discovery Channel shows, Survivor...

Welcome to the Good Life (Part II of II)
2007-10-13 06:23:00
Besides staying alive and keeping up with my minimal amount of schoolwork, I had almost no responsibilities or commitments, something normally reserved for children in the summer. If you?re wondering what the benefit of that is, think of it this way: I often judge my days based on how productive I am, whether it be exercising, engaging in social events, finishing tasks or doing work. When I had cancer, I could literally watch television the entire day and that would be considered productive. That mindset was entirely unique to cancer and I don?t expect will ever be duplicated.I had to quit piano lessons, my soccer team I always joined in the fall, and teaching Sunday school. I quit using my Ab Crunch Trainer. I quite shaving, shampooing and bathing daily. Who was I trying to impress? I figured a shower every two days would do fine.I quit worrying about a balanced diet, and instead took advantage of the delightful dishes my parents and aunt provided me. My friends Ink and Ho-Train ca...
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Welcome to the Good Life (Part I of II)
2007-10-08 22:41:00
People bought me things ? some people I'd never met before. Expensive things, too, like video games, an mp3 player and a portable CD player. NoCommonSense's dad wanted to impart some Beatles culture on me, so he bought me 1, their greatest hits. My rabbi bought me the new Ja Rule CD, Rule 3:36, which I found quite humorous. I wanted him to listen with me, but he wasn?t so into gangsta rap.My parents and Aunt Flojo bought me whatever I wanted to eat, and rather enthusiastically if I might add. Huge, fatty, delicious milkshakes and greasy, heart-clogging foods were practically shoved down my throat. If I had the ability and the desire to become a fatass, they would?ve gladly financed my extra pounds.School became like a circus for me, attending when I could and taking breaks when I wanted. I dropped one class, and I spent those 90 minutes in the guidance office with two other kids that had no second period. Try to picture the most worthless conversation you've had in your life, and...
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The Stumbler: Part III
2007-10-03 06:59:00
My 7th grade English teacher was absolutely obsessed with The Rosie O'Donnell Show. She loved it so much that she had us spend months of class preparing to do a mock Rosie show. Her plan was to ultimately record our show, send it to Rosie and get on TV. After the first month we thought she was nuts. After the second we thought she was the greatest teacher ever because we didn't really do anything. Case in point, my job was to play the drums to One Headlight by The Wallflowers, as the rest of my "band" played air guitar and lip synched. Since my dad had been giving me drum lessons for three years, I rocked out on the real thing.Our class was broken into two groups. The other group needed one more band member and asked me to play air guitar to Korn's Blind. The Stumbler played lead guitar and vocals. Everything was going well during the final taping, until Dookie started spraying water at us with a spray bottle "for effect," as he called it. When I jumped up for a power cord, I sli...
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The Booger
2007-09-27 06:53:00
There were four of us playing Texas Hold 'em in C-Smoke's basement. I could feel a wet mass in my left nostril, but we just started playing and I didn't want to get up to blow my nose. There's a very cool way some athletes shoot boogers out of their noses, which are then called snot rockets. I've seen it on TV and decided I'd try it out. Usually, the rocket is shot from the nostril onto the ground, but we were indoors, so I had to shoot it in my palm.While C-Smoke was shuffling the deck, I closed off my right nostril and blew hard into my left hand. The process would have been a success ? except the booger missed my left hand and flew through the air like a missile. I couldn't see where it landed and hoped nobody saw what happened.Then, everyone started laughing because they knew exactly what happened. It was gross ? I knew it, they knew it. I continued searching for my booger, but I was laughing so hard I could barely focus. Suddenly, I found the slimy creature."You know, th...

Teeter Totter of Life (Part II of II)
2007-09-20 06:45:00
When I finished my first cycle of chemo I called a friend from my hospital room. She was having people over and I wanted to share my joy that chemo wasn?t all that bad. The superhotty, Orange, answered the phone and asked how I was.?I?m doing fine,? I said.?That?s great. Do you want to talk to Zeke???Sure.?I spoke to Zeke and a few other friends. They were just living their normal lives and I was living what had become mine. Getting out of the gossip loop was inevitable, considering I missed so many days of school. One of my best friends, HollaAtYoBoy, got a new girlfriend and I didn?t even meet her for a month. I was spending much more time with my new friends, also known as my doctors, nurses and other patients. My primary nurse, Laughy, was one of my favorite new friends. She enjoyed making fun of me for being so quiet and always greeting her with a simple ?hey? in my deepest voice.As far as my old friends went, they moved on with their lives as should be expected. If I couldn?t ...
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Teeter Totter of Life (Part I of II)
2007-09-15 16:45:00
I went into the room and got on the table in front of the large CAT scan machine. That three-minute scan of my lungs would shift my teeter totter of life. No spot, I?d probably live. A spot and I?d probably die. Simple statistical probability. I?d later discover that the anxiety my parents and close relatives felt before the excellent results was incomprehensible. At the time I didn?t even know what the fuck a CAT scan was, let alone the significance of those three minutes.Of course, the CAT scan was just one of the million tests I underwent before treatment began ? measuring everything except the size of my dick. There were basically two reasons for all those tests. The first was to make sure I was healthy enough for what was to come. The second was to have a baseline for the rest of my life. It was expected that the future results of those tests would worsen from the treatment, some of them immediately. I was only 16 and my health had supposedly climaxed.I was barraged with inform...
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For a Good Year, 5768
2007-09-12 01:09:00
Seven years ago this Friday afternoon, I learned of my tumor. I have a difficult time believing it has been that long. I remember the day, the whole year for that matter, like it was yesterday. Time has gone by so quickly that in some respects I still see it as the year 2000, still see myself as 16.Exactly one year later, give or take 20 minutes, I finished treatment and became cancer-free. As I wrote in Happy Birthday, Bone Marrow, some cancer survivors celebrate the diagnosis, but I celebrate the freedom. And even though last year was my fifth anniversary of being cancer-free from my first cancer, or what is commonly known as CURED, I will always celebrate.Coincidentally, the holiday Rosh Hashanah, which marks the Jewish New Year , occurs around the same time. Because of that, this time of year marks new beginnings for me. A new football season has arrived. A new autumn is approaching. A new year is marked on the Jewish calendar. And a new year of cancer freedom will begin.I toast...
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