miquie's crewmiquie's crewwe are multiple and we want others to know what life is like for us ... Articles
this post MAY trigger
2008-01-26 01:59:00 they (the ritual abusers) have programmed me, and the programming is bad. i have to talk about it. please take care of yourself as you read this post because this post may trigger … More About: Post
found out something ?
2008-01-24 17:22:00 and i now know i need to change my name. my physical full name. i have to for safety sake. a really bad night last night and had really bad flashbacks. woke up in the middle of the night, and i had cut myself without even remembering or knowing how. i was obviously dissociating. my ...
waiting ?
2008-01-19 03:22:00 … to hear from SCYAP. just called them today to see if they have decided if and when they are going to have the next UCP (Urban Canvas Project). i left a message and i hope to hear from them soon, and to know if i am going to be one of the participants. B ... More About: Waiting
dreams - pt. 3
2008-01-15 02:52:00 dreams are still continuing where they are taking away my life. i am sleeping, nightmare form, and when i sleep solidly - nevermind, hasn’t happened for a while. sleep is hard. sleep is scary. saw D today and we talked some more about the “dreams”. i know they aren’t just dreams, they are memories, but they ... More About: Dreams
dreams - pt. 2
2008-01-11 23:48:00 this is my first time on the computer where i am on for longer than 15 minutes. therefore, i thought i would do an update: i saw D (our therapist) on monday and we talked about my dreams. they are not just dreams, they are memories coming forward as flashbacks in the form of nightmares. confused? ... More About: Dreams , Taekwondo
bocce balls
2008-01-06 01:32:00 we noticed that Frankie and Madison were going through toys so fast and Frankie loves balls. one day, CS got the idea of a bowling ball would last in their mouths. well, bowling balls are a little big, but one day i was walking around and i found bocce balls in the store. well, i ... More About: Balls
dreams
2008-01-02 21:52:00 i haven’t talked that much about the abuse that i survived, mostly because i am afraid. afraid that “they” will track me down. i survived sexual abuse from my father. he also mentally, emotionally, physically, and ritually abuse me with other abusers. i want to talk a bit, but i am being VERY careful of ... More About: Dreams
have a happy, happy new year
2008-01-01 20:04:00 have a happy new year to all who read this blog. well, i hope it is happy and treats you, and others, well. last night, i didn’t do anything special for the entrance of the new year. it is like any other night and day. so today, i am pretty much staying inside where it is nice ... More About: New Year , Happy , Happy New Year , Year
Frankie and Maddie
2007-12-28 22:10:00 i was able to take a few pictures of our babies, who give us smiles every day, and i thought i would share them … Frankie: Madison (Maddie ): We spoil our dogs way too much!!! Blogged with Flock Tags: dog, pet
holidays and dogs
2007-12-28 02:46:00 so … holidays came and christmas is done with officially!!! 2 full days of xmas stuff is so tiring! and so glad to be “done” with for another year. now, it will all be a little easier, i hope. i lost time again, but when don’t i??? many headaches! much tiredness!! ready for sleep ~ undisturbed ... More About: Holidays , Dogs
christmas, food and family
2007-12-20 19:57:00 christmas is coming. that means food. i don’t think i can handle that. is there going to be pressure to eat? yep. am i looking forward to eating? no. it’s with my family and my partner’s, but still there is going to be food and sitting around to eat. this is the holiday season and ... More About: Christmas , Family , Food
play time
2007-12-20 18:54:00 after cs came home from work, frankie and maddie play. More About: Time , Play
testing to blue belt
2007-12-14 22:13:00 today, friday, we are testing for our blue belt in taekwon-do. nervous? yes. right now we are at the library, our testing is in the same building, and this is the break before we go and study hard. testing is in 2 hours, but first wanted to post that we are testing. we were going ... More About: Testing , Blue , Belt
ben and therapy ?
2007-12-11 01:49:00 D and ben had a bit of a therapy session and what came out of it was an interesting analogy. the analogy refers to the abuse that we had to go through. all the abuse - physical, sexual, emotional, ritual, spiritual abuse. ben holds most of the abuse in his memory and D and him are talking ... More About: Therapy , Thera
still f*#*#*# ashamed
2007-12-07 00:57:00 i am still fat. i am still ugly. i am still purging. i am still not eating much. i am still not hungry. i am still obese. i am still hating my body. i am still fighting the bulimia. i am still afraid of the scale. i am still afraid of the numbers on the ... More About: Shame
OMG! so ashamed
2007-12-04 23:34:00 weighed the body for the first time in less than a month and realized that we gained over five pounds. we are at the heaviest the body has ever been. so ashamed. it is official - have to lose weight and lose it now. we canNOT be this heavy. it is not good for the body nor for ... More About: Shame
Art Grows Brains
2007-11-29 22:35:00 the following came from: http://www.artistsupplies.com/PDF%20Files /ArtGrowBrains .pdf Art Grows Brains: Quick Facts on How Art Makes You Smart Experts who study the brain say that whenever you do something creative, like drawing or painting, you are giving your brain a terrific workout. So pick up some art tools, flex your mind, streeeetch your imagination and build up your brain power. Here ...
it?s ugly out there
2007-11-27 22:21:00 IT IS UGLY OUT IN THE REAL WORLD!!! why are we saying this? because it is winter and it is COLD! temperatures here are in the -20’s celcius (that is about 0 farenheit) or even colder!!! it is cold. and then there is the windchill to go along with that. so if it is about -20 and there ... More About: Ugly
leave me alone ED!!!
2007-11-24 01:31:00 ED has been bombarding my (Di’s) life. not leaving me alone. wanting to take me into its hostage and not give me a chance to live my life. ED has been haunting my dreams as well. ED is my eating disorder. it has been wanting to take me and my life. i think it has to do with being ... More About: Leave
Update on life
2007-11-17 18:46:00 sorry. i haven’t really been blogging much. i am doing ok. i am just exploring the rest of the world on the internet and finding tonnes of new things. i have also been “cleaning” up our computer so it will run faster. i have been busy with all different things and that is good for ... More About: Life , Update , Face
home
2007-11-07 19:17:00 just to tell you all, i got discharged on Monday evening and i am home now. yesterday, we had pictures taken at TKD and we got a picture of us too. along with the whole club picture. it might take a few weeks to recieve the copies, but we are getting pictures. of course, the ... More About: Home
a quickie of an update
2007-11-03 22:39:00 ok, i am doing a quick update. i am home for a weekend pass and we have one more ECT on monday. then there is a really good chance that we could be discharged on tuesday or wednesday. here are a few pictures of the bruises of the IV punctures: iv bruise arm 2, iv bruise arm 1, iv ... More About: Update
CS writing for Miquie
2007-10-25 03:45:00 Miquie gave me (CS) the following posts. Please don’t judge what I have written. Please know that I am in pward to have ECTs and to feel better. Just know that I am in a vulnerable spot. This was hard fro me to write and quite personal. Please respect this if you want to comment on this ... More About: Writing
hospitalization
2007-10-18 03:30:00 This is CS writing. First off, I profoundly apoplogize for how late this post is. Di was hospitalized on Saturday. She is ok !!! She didn’t hurt herself or make an attempt. She was, however, feeling extremely suicidal, She called her psychiatrist who told her to go to the ER, where she was admitted. Di is still ...
a rant on my mental health
2007-10-13 00:07:00 this is going to be a rant and may be triggering (please use caution) … More About: Health , Mental , Mental Health , Rant , Heal
mental health = ECT?s
2007-10-08 05:28:00 keeping my health includes ECT’s. my first ECT treatment as an OutPatient is going More About: Health , Mental , Mental Health , Heal
worst ever seen
2007-10-03 23:19:00 according to D, my depression is the worst he has ever seen. he has been a psychologist on the Pward and seen others individually. so i am on the waiting list for outpatient ECT’s and on the list for admission. still no news yet. D wants me to actually be admitted, because i am so ...
does mental health matter?
2007-09-27 05:39:00 does the mental health of MC matter??? who knows. we don’t think so right now. but that is the opinion of MC. we aren’t doing much besides the mural and doctors appointments. we want to curl up and hide from everyone and everything. everything is black. everything is dark. there is NO hope around. the hole ... More About: Health , Mental , Mental Health , Matter , Heal
does my mental health define me?
More articles from this author:2007-09-20 23:02:00 NO, IT DOES NOT!!! i have been diagnosed (mental health related) with: Depression (Major), Bulimia (Eating Disorder), DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) formerly known as MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder), PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). i have depression along with the rest of my health issues as a result of genetics. it doesn’t help that there was abuse involved ... More About: Health , Mental , Mental Health , Define , Heal 1, 2, 3 |
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