Ha! Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha! Ha!Had a stressful day? Tired? Bored? Need relaxation? Want some fun in your life? Want to smile or laugh like nuts? If your answer is a yes, then visit this blog. It is filled with all that tickles.I have handpicked some of the most hilarious jokes tha Articles
Fly in the coffee solutions
2007-11-22 22:52:00 What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?The Englishman: Throws away the cup of coffee and walks away.The American: Takes out the fly and drinks the coffee.The Chinese: Eats the fly and throws away the coffee.The Japanese: Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra.The Israeli: Sells the coffee to the American, the fly to the Chinese, and buys himself a new cup of coffee.The Palestinian: Blames the Israeli for the violent act of putting the fly in his coffee; asks the UN for aid; takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee; uses the money to purchase explosives, then blows up the coffee house, where: the Englishman, the American, the Chinese, and the Japanese are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he was too aggressive . More About: Coffee , Solutions
A pen holder?
2007-10-23 10:12:00 Well, at least you can't accuse W of having his head up his arse, there is already something occupying that ...orifice...
How to reach burglar alarm without using your hands
2007-10-23 01:33:00 Those two are really creative people. Now thats what I call team effort. More About: Hands , Alarm , Reach
Business of love making
2007-10-23 00:10:00 Business in the bedroom More About: Business , Love , Sine
Cats: Humorous moments
2007-10-22 23:14:00 I never thought that cats had any sense of humor. More About: Cats , Humorous , Moments
I'm not staying here
2007-10-22 20:55:00 For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle.His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"Little Joe told him; "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike.
If something happens to me ...
2007-10-22 19:25:00 An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?""Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me .. your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...." More About: Some
NO REFILLS
2007-10-22 16:02:00 A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?""Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
Bikini or an all-in-one?
2007-10-22 15:47:00 While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice."What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?""Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." More About: Bikini , All-in
Four-letter-word used by surgeon
2007-10-22 15:37:00 A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling."I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered."What did he say," asked the nurse."OOPS!" More About: Word , Letter , Urge
Belief in hell
2007-10-22 15:27:00 Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."Joe: "Really?"Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell." More About: Hell , Belief
How to get into a blond's pants?
2007-10-22 13:19:00 This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen.Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me a drink." More About: Pants
What is a golf gun?
2007-10-22 12:57:00 Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzales."How was he killed?" asked one detective."With a golf gun," the other detective replied."A golf gun? What is a golf gun?""I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan!" More About: Golf
Just a minute
2007-10-22 12:49:00 A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"The agent replies, "Just a minute.""Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up. More About: Minute
Why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder
2007-10-22 12:27:00 Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:1. All the DNA is the same.2. There are no dental records. More About: Murder , Hard , Redneck , Neck
40 years old curse
2007-10-22 11:50:00 An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife." More About: Curse , Years
Wife's looks
2007-10-22 11:30:00 A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all.""Me neither doc," said the husband, "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids." More About: Looks
A generous husband
2007-10-22 11:23:00 "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said," And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week.""That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself." More About: Husband , Generous , Enero
Inheritance of intelligence
2007-10-22 11:08:00 A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine" More About: Intelligence , Inheritance
I didn't sleep with my wife before marriage
2007-10-22 09:38:00 Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you?"Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?" More About: Marriage , Wife , Sleep
Frank Caliendo impersonates Seinfeld cast
2007-10-22 01:37:00 Frank Caliendo impersonates every character from Seinfeld in this video. More About: Cast , Frank , Sonat
My children are starving
2007-10-21 22:35:00 A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. “Dear Lord,” she prays, “if I don’t get some cash, I’m gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery.”Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn’t win. She prays even harder, saying, “God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once.”Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak.“Sweetheart, work with me on this,” he says. “Buy a ticket.” More About: Children
Guess who?
2007-10-21 21:32:00 A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime, and instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said, "Guess who?"The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!" More About: Guess Who
Fish with open mouths
2007-10-21 20:37:00 A Russian and an American were fishing on opposite sites of a river that divided East Germany and West Germany.The American was very successful but the Russian caught nothing.Finally he shouted to the American, “How do you manage to catch so many fish?”“On this side of the river,” shouted the American, “the fish aren’t afraid to open their mouths.” More About: Fish , Open
Jay Leno on China's toxic imports
2007-10-20 18:22:00 "Hey, did you hear about this? Today Chinese officials recalled one million tons of lead because it may contain toys." More About: Leno , Jay Leno , Imports , Toxic
What is politics?
2007-10-20 14:40:00 A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: Im the breadwinner of the family, so lets call me capitalism. Your Mom, shes the administrator of the money, so well call her the Government. Were here to take care of your needs, so well call you the people. The nanny, well consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, well call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nannys room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I thi... More About: Politics , Politic
A practical engineer
2007-10-19 19:18:00 A MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep.Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend – “Look up at the sky and tell me what you see”The MBA replies, “I see millions of stars.”The Engineer asks “What does that tell you?”The MBA ponders for a minute:“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.What does it tell you?”The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then speaks – “Practically, Someone has stolen our tent”.
An engineer in hell
2007-10-19 17:57:00 An engineer dies and goes to hell. After a while, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in there and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, hell has air conditioning, flushing toilets, water fountains and escalators - making the engineer a pretty popular guy.One day God phones Satan up and asks with a sneer: “Hey buddy, how’s it goin down there in hell?”Satan snickered back, “Things are going great actually. We’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets, escalators and the works. Hell (no pun intended), there’s no telling what this engineer guy is gonna come up with next.”God replies, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake - he should never have gotten down there; send him back up.”To which Satan replied, “No way dude. I like having an engineer on staff, I’m keepin him.”God retorted, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”Satan laughs loudly and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are you gonna find a law... More About: Engineer
Globalization defined
More articles from this author:2007-10-19 17:37:00 Finally, here is a definition of globalization anyone can understand:Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization ?Answer: Princess Diana's death.Question: How come?Answer:An English princessriding with her Egyptian boyfriendcrashes in a French tunnel,driving a German carwith a Dutch engine,driven by a Belgianwho was drunk on Scottish whiskey,followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,who were riding Japanese motorcycles.Di was treated by an American doctor,using Brazilian medicines.This is sent around by a Canadian,using American technology,and you're probably reading this on your computer that uses Taiwanese chips,and a Korean monitor,assembled by Bangladeshi workersin a Singapore plant,transported by Indian lorry-drivers,hijacked by Indonesians,unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,and trucked to your retailer by Mexican illegals.That, my friends, is Globalization. More About: Defined , Define 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 |
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