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March 29 Links, 2008
2008-03-29 05:13:00
Alex at Neatorama saw my Tech Woes post, and posted it there to ask for suggestions. I got a huge response, and I’m still working my way through the tips. Honestly, I have been living with these computer problems for years, and I only wrote about them because I needed a post intro! But thanks, I appreciate them all. I have recovered Safari, but the typing is still slow. No doubt all the diagnostics people have told me about improved the system’s overall function. The family survived spring break, with the help of relatives who are willing to babysit, although I did have trouble with deadlines on the net. We didn’t do much cleaning -just straightening up the house, although we did get the pond cleaned and stocked. I have twenty new little fishes! I just hope they last a while. BigDog Beta Admit it, when you first saw Boston Dynamics’ BigDog robot, you thought the same thing. This little robot scans the area to find a surfac...
More About: Humor , Links , March , 2008

Chocolate Candy
2008-03-28 05:02:00
One thing that’s just great about Easter coming so early this year is that it marks the end of the “candy” holidays, until Halloween rolls round again. I still haven’t finished the Christmas candy! Oh, I don’t mind throwing out candy canes and gumdrops when they get old, but people who know me (several of them) gave me gifts of fine chocolate, which I enjoy very much. The kids also make sure I get the best chocolates out of any goodie bags they receive at holiday or birthday parties. Then yesterday I noticed the grocer still had some chocolate bunnies... at 60% discount! Yes, I’m guilty. I bought one. I HAVE to start a regular exercise regimen, if only in order to keep eating my precious chocolate. JAPP Chocolate Energy Bar (via Bits and Pieces) Survival of the Fittest M&M. Can you believe a 99% cocoa bar? That might be too much of a good thing. A closer lo...
More About: Food , Candy

Nerds
2008-03-27 05:06:00
I love nerds. I could sit and listen to a nerd talk for hours, even the parts I don't understand. Maybe its just part of my obsession with observing human behavior. More than once I've been called a nerd myself, but I'm too people-connected (touchy-feely) to qualify under most definitions. In 1988, I joined a Mac club based in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. The nerdiest guys on the planet. Think nuclear physicists who want to learn how to draw cartoons on their computers. I was there for hours before they realized there was a WOMAN in their club. In college, I dated this nerd who was working on a PhD in molecular genetics. His idea of a good time was sneaking me into the biolab at Mizzou to show me his electron microscope. He was NOT being euphemistic. Fun, but I just couldn't get past the bad breath. Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be now if I'd just given him some altoids. White and Nerdy -Weird Al Yankovic Do you think you might be a nerd? Try this t...
More About: People

Automobiles
2008-03-26 05:03:00
The time is here that I weigh the cost of driving to the convenience store up the hill for $3.50 milk as compared to driving two miles to the supermarket to buy $3 milk. I think about the cost-benefit ratio of taking my kids to see their grandmother (the one who lives 17 miles away). That’s just sad. Gone are the days when we’d joyride around the countryside for hours on lunch money. The car would break down a few times before we got home, but that was back when a teenager could fix a car with a few tools (and a coat hanger and duct tape). And vacation? If we go to any of our normal getaway spots this year, the gas will cost more than the hotel! Still, I don’t mind sticking close to home... my friends are all here on the internet anyway! How to Beat High Gas Prices How far can you go after the gas light in your car comes on? At Tank on Empty you can check your car model’s performance, add information, or submit a story...
More About: Automobiles , Transportation

Military Pilots
2008-03-25 05:12:00
If it weren’t for flight training in the armed forces, we probably wouldn’t have pilots for the commercial airlines I post about so often. We may not have had any astronauts for the Mercury or Apollo missions, either. And we wouldn’t have Top Gun, either! Military pilots are the real cowboys of the modern world. There’s a reason Chuck Yeager was included in the collage I made for the Manly Men post. It takes a lot of balls to break the sound barrier, or fly deep into enemy territory, or land on an aircraft carrier. Aircraft carriers may look big, but don’t compare them to boats. Compare then to airport runways, and that’s when you realize how tiny they are! Anyone who’s ever had to land on one gets my respect automatically.    Air Drops To operate in the world of the military pilot, you have to understand the language. Here’s a glossary of definitions, lies, and universal truths....
More About: Humor , Pilots , Transportation

Tech Woes
2008-03-24 05:02:00
Over time I find myself becoming more and more of a geek, but only in relation to what I started out as. I’ll never understand the inner workings of real programming. If I did, I wouldn’t be so baffled many gremlins in my own machine. My word processor takes fits. I will type a sentence (and I’m not the world’s fastest typist) and then sit back and wait while one by one the letters appear on the screen. It may take thirty seconds or so for my words to appear. No one can figure this out. No matter what browser I use, I cannot paste URLs into a link field at Blogger or Moveable Type. At Wordpress, I can paste in using rich text, but not html mode. I can at Squarespace in Foxfire versions 1.4 and 3, but not version 2. I can't have Safari ever again because I for some reason don't have Safari now. I always manage to come up with problems no one has heard of before. If I were a geek, I’d be spending all my time casting out demons or whatever it is they do....
More About: Tech

Easter Sunday
2008-03-23 05:16:00
Christ the Redeemer. Image by iko. Light blogging today. I'm celebrating the Son Rise. Deacon Blue talks about 11 frightened men. What would you have done if you were one of the disciples?A song dedication at Simply Left Behind. Inspiration from The Happy Catholic. Poopie is counting her blessings.Barbara has a message of love. Thought for today: The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you." -Matthew 28 Previously at Miss Cellania: He's Alive!Jesus Christ Easter resurrection holiday
More About: Holidays , Sunday

March 22 Links, 2008
2008-03-22 05:09:00
Tragedy struck the family this week. Remember the new pets I told you about in the Menagerie post? They both died, only two days apart. I posted the story and their eulogies here. Now the kids are on Spring Break for ten days. Ten. Days. Straight. While I’m trying to work from home. Y’all need to pray for me. We are participating in Discardia, a holiday that was “invented” five years ago, but I’ve always known it as “Spring Cleaning”. Unpack the summer clothes, pack away the winter clothes. Sort all into keep, sell, and giveaway. Pick up all the garbage in the forest and garden. Trim the flower garden. Clean and stock the pond. Sort, price, and pack yard sales items. Scrub the porch. Pot up a ton of tomato and pepper seedlings. Clean the house. Keep the kids busy, fed, and occupied. And do my regular work. Oh boy. Hamlet is Back And he is not happy. When you need an instant cast for your movie, marshmallo...
More About: Links , March , 2008

Sports Center
2008-03-21 05:05:00
It’s NCAA tournament time! I used to keep up with such things in the 90s, back when Kentucky was worth following, but as they’ve let their guard down, so have I. I don’t have enough material to do a post entirely on the tournament itself, or even basketball, so I lumped some other sports funnies together for you. But if you’re really into the NCAA, here’s some number crunching on the brackets. And some betting advice. Read and consider these NCAA Tournament Pitfalls to Avoid. And watch out for the 6 Characters Who Ruin Every NCAA Office Pool. Dikembe Mutombo (via Metafilter) Do you like tennis? (via Bits and Pieces) The 11 Worst Sports Uniforms. Pretty ugly all around. (via Dump Trumpet) The Ten Best Names in Hockey. (via Look at This) A fifth-grader who belongs in the NBA. Or better yet, the Harlem Globetrotters! Moments in Sports #6. A collection of funny photo...
More About: Center

Easter Eggs
2008-03-20 05:08:00
Easter resembles Christmas in that it is a most sacred holiday which has been associated with secular symbolism, the purpose of which is to get people to celebrate it. Of course, the modern motivation is to sell candy. Yes, when the church established an Easter celebration, pagan rites of spring and the earth's renewal became intertwined with the religious celebration, and has been ever since. What could symbolize spring and renewal better than an egg? Maybe cute baby animals, of which there are plenty in Easter symbolism. Of course, this year Easter is so early, you may be hiding your eggs in the snow! Peep Jousting Peeps are a joke in themselves. They are supposed to be some kind of candy, but they never seemed soft or tasty enough for me to consider them anything but decoration. Human ingenuity has found many other uses for peeps! Heaps of Peeps. How people use Peeps to illustrate ...almost anything. ...
More About: Holidays , Eggs , Easter , Easter Eggs

UFOs
2008-03-19 05:13:00
Is it insanity to hold two opposing beliefs at the same time? The US government is spending so much money to send space probes into the vast unknown with messages of peace, but conspiracy theorists believe they covered up an actual alien landing in the middle of the 20th century. Let me get this straight... you put the lime in the coconut and... no, wait, they believe that the government not only covered up an alien landing, but they also faked the Apollo moon missions? How does this make any sense? Our government agencies do a terrible job at covering up things that would actually make them look bad! By the way, Mythbusters is going to tackle that fake moon landing theory on April 25th. I’ll be watching!   Chad Hates Aliens Strange Things Seen on Mars. Alien Intercourse. (via Everlasting Blort) How to Talk to Girls at Parties, by Neil Gaiman. The Flying Saucers...
More About: Humor , Science Fiction , Ufos

Grandparents
2008-03-18 05:08:00
When I was a kid, I saw my grandmother as an old woman. Now I realize that at the time, she was younger than I am now! She wore support stockings and cats eye glasses and had her gray hair rinsed with bluing. And my other grandma? When she was my age, she was already dead. Things have changed, but I don’t know whether they’ve changed for the better (OK, that part about still being alive is better). Baby Boomers are the grandparents these days. Or even Generation X! When I had a real job, there were two women I worked with who were both 12 years younger than I am, and they both have grandchildren. One had kids very young, the other married an older man who already had grandchildren. And here I am, with kids I can’t send home to their parents. Because I’m the parent. But I’ve never exactly fit in with the normal scheme of things.My kids don't know any different. For all they know, all parents ask their children to read the small print for them! Emergenc...
More About: Old Age

Green Beer and Leprechauns
2008-03-17 05:34:00
This greeting is from JibJab. There is another generator, from Irish Spring, that lets you put yourself into an Irish scene for St. Pats Day. I made a version for YesButNoButYes and another for Neatorama. You can create your  own here. Happy St. Patricks Day! No, you don’t have to be Irish to celebrate, but you can claim Irish descent for the day just like everyone else does. I don’t know why we bother, since we celebrate Chinese new year without being Chinese, and Mardi Gras without being Catholic, and Cinco de Mayo without knowing what it means. But it’s fun to wear your one green shirt and ask everyone to kiss you because 1). you’re Irish, and 2) you’ve had a lot of green beer and you’re ready to kiss anyone. How to write an Irish Drinking Song Ten Fun and Interesting Facts about Ireland. An estimated 40% of Americans can claim some sort of Irish heritage, so you may as well learn something about it. ...
More About: Holidays , Beer , Green

Hair
2008-03-16 05:08:00
Yesterday, I got two things done before work. I donated a pint of blood, and I dyed my hair. Guess which one was more traumatic? The hair, of course. See, Clairol has apparently discontinued the dye I'd been using for years, probably because it was cheap and had a low profit margin. Now I know why old people don't take to change very well. Having to start over with a new product took me out of my comfort zone. So I told myself, its JUST HAIR, no matter how bad it is, it will grow back eventually. So I picked something that said 'blonde' and 'permanent' for about $8. Thats a lot more than I used to spend. (edited two years later to add: and I spent even less on my looks now that I no longer have a "real" job! Now I just go as long as I possible can before I even look in the mirror.) I don't think I will buy the same product next time. The color was not comparable to the box front, and it fried my scalp pretty good. I can just imagine the chemicals seeping in...
More About: Fashion , Hair

March 15 Links 2008
2008-03-15 05:37:00
This week I’ve been under a spam attack. Some bot is posting references to each and every post on this site multiple times for multiple products. It may go on a long time, since a machine can’t be told that the stuff will never ever actually be published on this site. But it wastes my time deleting email announcements for every incident, and cleaning out my spamcatcher daily. But it was a decent week altogether. The best meme I’ve ever been tagged with comes from Saskboy. I’ll make up my own rules and say it’s allowed for me to skip this one. If Kentucky goes communist, well, I live close to a border. I skip memes a lot, although I shouldn’t, because I once responded to a meme and got a job out of it. Sweet Home Alabama (via Cynical-C) The Leningrad Cowboys (from Finland) and the Red Army Choir perform Sweet Home Alabama. It’s a small world after all. Acrobats and contortionists from the Great Chinese ...
More About: Links , March , March 15 , 2008

Languages
2008-03-14 05:27:00
So often I get comments or emails from people from around the world who say “Excuse me, my English is not good...” and all I can respond with is “Your English is much better than my German (or Portuguese, or Chinese, or whatever).” The rest of the world should be commended on learning several languages as if its the most normal thing in the world. And maybe it is. The biggest drawback of English becoming the world’s default language is that most native English speakers never learn anything else. I was reminded of this again recently when Mark Boyle gave up his quest to walk to India without any money. He made it as far as the other side of the English Channel. In Calais, he found that the people spoke French and did not understand him! They thought he was a freeloader! Of course, they were right. Not only a freeloader, but one who expected everyone else in the world to speak more languages than he does. Ken Lee (via Arbroath...
More About: Humor , Languages , Language

Porcupine or Hedgehog
2008-03-13 05:06:00
I started writing about porcupines because of the overly cute photo to the left of baby porcupines. I soon found out that porcupines are much more of a joke subject in England than in the US. Apparently on the other side of the pond, hedgehogs are famous roadkill, somewhat in the way we regard possums. We Yanks really don't care who hogs our hedges. A Pork-You-Pine is sorta like a pig with pine needles, see? Always go with the overly simplistic. And we avoid porcupines as much as possible, while the British will even adopt a hedgehog. Then, since I wrote this intro a couple of years ago, I found out that hedgehogs and porcupines aren't even related! Baby Porcupine Eats Bananas Anyway, the jokes I found were all British, a little hard for Americans to understand. I consulted Wulfweard the White (who knows everything) about hedgehogs. So please read the following with a British accent: St Tiggy-winkles is an animal sanctuary in Britain originally set up to care for sick...
More About: Critters

Philosophers
2008-03-12 05:09:00
We all stop and ponder the meaning of life every once in a while. Then most of us just get back to the process of living it. Those who became famous by pondering the meaning of life (and everything else) had quite a bit going for them, not the least of which is the time to devote to such higher thought. You can spend years and years just slogging away at earning a living, raising kids, and dealing with everyday stuff, then all the sudden something happens to make you stop and say “Life’s too short to waste any more of it!” Right then and there, another philosopher is born. When it happens, you’ll probably build yourself a better life, but don’t count on anyone listening to your insights. xkcd says it well. If you defy the odds and become a famous philosopher, be ready to find yourself the butt of a joke eventually! International Philosophy Championship by Monty Python (via Withinsight) Who is your favorite ...
More About: Science , Philosophers

Musicians
2008-03-11 05:18:00
My husband was a professional musician. He played bass guitar, and made a decent living at it until recorded music drove most local musicians out of work. Afterwards, he played when there were jobs and gave lessons. I heard every bass player joke there was, over and over, for years. When I read about why some Memphis musician switched to the electric bass in the 50s, I believed every word. See, traveling musicians were in rather low regard for most of history (is it any different now?), so they tried to get in and out of town without drawing too much attention. A bass fiddle wouldn’t fit inside a vehicle, and they had to strap it to the top of a car. A bass guitar, on the other hand, could be hidden. No respect at all. Freestyle Tuba (via Gorilla Mask) Oystein Baadsvik plays tuba like you’ve never seen before. Music al instruments mashed up via Photoshop. Make Yoda play the drums. My mouse worked to do this, but keyboard ...
More About: People , Musicians

Wake Up!
2008-03-10 05:01:00
Yesterday, you may have told yourself that Daylight Saving Time is no big deal, but that was Sunday. Today is the day you have to drag yourself out of bed before daylight, an hour earlier biologically than you are used to. It ain’t easy, is it? I am normally a morning person -always have been. Being at work at 5AM was never a problem, until I had children to supervise. Even now, I try to get as much work done as I can before they wake up. The real work starts when they need to get up. By 7AM, the public school kids are already waiting for the bus (half an hour ride, get to school on time to eat breakfast before class starts 15 minutes earlier than parochial school). My kids will sleep through any alarm clock and any yelling on my part. I have to drag them from slumber, drag them out of bed, drag them into their clothing, and drag them to the car to get to school by eight. All this after they are in bed every night at nine! Credit goes to Cyriak for the perfect title picture...
More About: Wake , Wake up

Sleep
2008-03-09 06:03:00
Insomnia is a way of life for me. This site was born out of insomnia. I'm even starting to get a reputation for it. Hoss thinks I stay up too late when I'm actually getting up too early. Sometimes. Other times I haven't been to sleep at all! But even with just three or four hours of sleep, I cannot keep a regular schedule. I could be up at 1AM for six nights straight, then the ONE night I get the 1AM phone call that I've been waiting for, I'll be sound asleep and cause unneccessary embarassment on the part of the caller. As we say in these parts, "can't win for losing." I figured Saylight Savings Time would be a good time to rerun this post. Why did they have to start it so early? Because research shows DST saves energy, as we don't have to turn on the lights early in the evening. That might makes sense in the summer, but it's still winter! There's not enough daylight to go around, no matter how you shhuffle it. And so we all lose an hour of sleep this weekend, a...
More About: Sleep

March 8 Links 2008
2008-03-08 18:44:00
Somehow, I made Reuters this week with a post on YesButNoButYes that was linked on Neatorama, then picked up by reddit, StumpleUpon, Plime, and who knows what else. When I first posted the M*A*S*H piece, no one read it. At all. For a month. I felt bad at the time, because I put a lot of work into it. It just goes to show, an investment will pay off sooner or later, and usually when you least expect it. I don’t know if the same can be said about Daylight Savings Time. It starts earlier than ever this year -tonight! Set your clocks forward an hour when you go to bed tonight, or at 2AM Sunday if you don’t go to bed before that. It’s really a waste of time to do this before the vernal equinox. It just means getting up an hour before daylight every day for another month. Let Me In After five years in development, you just might be able to see The Onion Movie this year. Universally Accessible Treehouses. Forever Young Treehouse...
More About: Links , March , 2008

Menagerie
2008-03-07 06:09:00
We’ve gained a few more pets here at Chez Cellania. My mother thought maybe the new parakeet Star wouldn’t be so psychotic if he had a companion. So we visited the pet shop, where the store keeper showed us a “vanilla” parakeet. He was referring to the color, but it stuck, and Vanilla is the name of the new addition. He told us he’s pretty sure Star is a boy and Vanilla is a girl. Star wasn’t too impressed. He’s made it clear that he prefers to look at the bird in the mirror instead of Vanilla. And she’d better not venture onto his half of the main perch! So we took away his mirrors, temporarily. He’s not happy (yet), but he seems to be much calmer than when he was alone. Gothgirl also got a new pet. Meet Mr. McShellshell, the hermit crab. Although his name may be changed now. We bought a second hermit crab and an aquarium with proper sand after this photo was taken, and now she wants to name them simply Crabby and Patty. M...
More About: Critters

HubLove Update
2008-03-06 22:43:00
Yesterday, I hosted a "clue" to figure out for the folks at HubLove. It only took a few minutes for HubPage fans to figure out that the answer was "music". Then they went to writing articles onthe subject of music. Today, we announce the winner for the best article on music. That winner is  Music Appreciation for the Deaf by Marye Audet. Well-researcheed and well-written -you should follow the link and read it yourself. The runner-up is The Evolution of Music in Movies by helenathegreat. It's an interesting rundown of cinema music history. Congratulations to today's winners, and good luck to all of you in the HubLove contest!
More About: Update

Automotive
2008-03-06 06:27:00
You can look at what I drive and tell I'm not car-proud. At least not right now. I drive a green minivan with a banged-up fender. It screams Mamamobile. A far cry from my '66 MG Midget, my '72 Karmann Ghia, or my '88 Toyota Supra. See, I always believed that if you're going to get an old car, you may as well get an awesome old car. Once the kids are old enough to drive themselves, the minivan is history. I'll be cruisin in my midlife crisis car (it would be my third crisis by then), maybe a Jaguar. More likely, a Miata. Who am I kidding? In my dreams! Car Soccer Have you ever seen a "Pinto Pelt"? (Thanks, Kirby!) Take a virtual drive through San Francisco or Seattle. Traffic Scratch ad. Longest car in the world. drivers who are mean to old ladies shall receive their comeuppance. I'm a Porsche Boxster! You're stylish, nimble, and good-looking. When it comes to having fun, there are few who can surpass you. And yet, you suffer from a lingering inferio...
More About: Transportation , Automotive

HubLove!
2008-03-05 21:00:00
Yep, you've found it!The folks at HubPages asked me to host the clue for today in their Hub Love contest. I'm pretty much game for anything, so here it is... Welcome, participants in the HubLove contest at HubPages! Here is today's clue: First Letters: 4th Prime, 1st Markov, 1st Perfect, 5th Pell, 4th Hofstadter-Q --> Understanding the creation of matter should be part of children's education in physics. Be sure to leave your guess at the Hub for this clue, not here at Miss Cellania. No, I don't understand it, but I don't have to! If I were competing, I'd go to the contest site and find out all the particulars. If you are here for the first time because you are participating in the contest, why don't you bookmark Miss Cellania and come back when you've gotten your guess for today done? I've got jokes, videos, and links to other fascinating sites, focusing on a different subject each day. In the past week, I've covered Invisibility, Libraries, ...

Library
2008-03-05 06:07:00
There was a forum topic somewhere recently... I wish I could find it now, but the funny stuff was in the comments... where someone was complaining about the high costs of books. Someone else joined in and wished there were only some place where you could BORROW books and take them back after you’ve read them. Yeah, it was funny calling someone out on their ignorance, but more and more young folks aren’t even familiar with the wonderful place we call a library. Go get a book, read it, take it back so someone else can read it. I can’t really fault the kids, since library budgets are strained like never before. They must buy fewer new books and cut back hours and programs because there is so little money to cover it all. It’s a shame. One of these days, we’ll take a look and decide it’s more important to spend out money educating ourselves and our kids than it is to fight preemptive wars. Cheers for the Library ! Can you spot the li...
More About: Literature

Invisible
2008-03-04 06:06:00
We don’t see everything, even when we look. We’re fascinated by forces beyond our eyesight. Magnetic fields. Nanotechnology. The inner workings of the human body. And whatever it is men do when they spend an hour in the bathroom. And there are time we wish we could suddenly become invisible, like when we’re caught doing something really embarassing, or when we want to spy on someone. The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells turned that desire on its ear, as the title character’s invisibility turned out to be a nightmare. To be invisible is to be ignored, and in this day and age, people work mighty hard to be seen. Invisible Piano! (Thanks, PAgent!) It appears as if Snoopy has been looking at too many LOLcat images, but this is how he asks for food, water, or a lost toy. More invisible musical cats. Invisible Musicians, from Worth1000. (via Geek Like Me) More invisibility from Worth1000. Incredible X-Rays in the new...

Classic TV
2008-03-03 06:03:00
When I Googled “classic TV”, one of the top articles that came up was about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Sigh. I guess the definition of “classic” varies among generations. So I’m not restricting this post to the Golden Age of Television, although that was the original intent. I’m old enough to remember when there was only one TV in the house and nobody argued about what to watch, because we only had one or two channels to choose from. When you met others at school or work the next day, you could be sure that just about everyone watched the same shows you did. Cartoons were only on for a hour after school and on Saturday mornings. Hearing The Syncopated Clock meant you were suffering from insomnia. If you missed an episode, you just missed it -no alternate feeds, no Tivo, no DVD collections. My kids don’t understand how I managed to grow up without a rewind button. Twin Peaks in Lego (via Dump Trumpet) Where are th...
More About: Entertainment , Classic

Geography
2008-03-02 06:15:00
Geography was one of the subjects my Dad taught. He was a geologist, but it's a small college. Its a good thing he could read a map, since he would never stop to ask for directions. He made sure his kids could read a map at a very young age, so he wouldn't have to, outside of class. As soon as my brother and I were liscenced to drive, he gave up vacation driving completely. He said, "What do you think we had kids FOR, anyway?" He guided me through a big part of my life, but when he let me guide him through St. Louis traffic during rush hour, I knew I had passed the test. They typed into Google Search "people in _____ (each country) are known for" and used the results to construct The Prejudice Map. Joke contest winners by nation. What people define as funny varies from country to country. Learn to swear in many languages at Swearsaurus. Ads NSFW. The End of the World. Long download if you are on dialup, but its worth it. NSFW due to language....
More About: Places , Geography