Miss Cellania Miss Cellania Humor, links, and videos on a different subject each day. You won't know how funny it is til you check it out! If I could, I've give a hug and a shot of Southern Comfort to every visitor. 
Articles
Battle of the Sexes
2008-06-10 21:02:00 This ad pits men against women. If they’d only replaced the newspaper at the end with sex, then it’d resemble real life! (via the Presurfer) More About: Battle
Fathers Day Gifts
2008-06-10 19:19:00 The problem with buying a gift for Fathers Day is that most men just go buy things they want when they want them. If dad can’t afford it, chances are you can’t afford it, either. Is it any wonder why we buy him yet another fishing lure or tie every year? It takes some imagination and maybe a sense of humor to get him something really different, like a deer butt alien or a badonkadonk or any one of the 6 Strange and Unique Fathers Day Gifts . Disclaimer: I wrote this. digg_url = 'http://digg.com/people/6_Strange_and_Uni que_Fathers_Day_Gifts'; More About: Holidays , Men
Second Husband
2008-06-10 18:29:00 A divorced man meets his ex-wife's new husband at a party. Later, after knocking back a few drinks, he goes over to the new guy and asks him: 'So... How do you like using second hand stuff?' The new husband replies: ’It isn't that bad. Past the first 2 inches it's all brand new.' (via Phil’s Phun) More About: Lovelife , Husband
The Imperial March on Floppy Disc
2008-06-10 16:08:00 OK, I don’t know how it’s done and I can’t find any technical information behind it, but apparently you can play music on a floppy disc with a stepper motor. I found this post that might makes some sense to those who have more expertise than I do. More About: Music , Star Wars , Tech , March , Imperial
Godzilla
2008-06-10 06:31:00 Ever since he was unleashed on Tokyo for the first time in 1954, Godzilla has been the king of all monsters. He set the bar high, somewhere between 50 and 500 feet, depending on what movie you are watching. He has become a metaphor for large, supplanting the previous big thing, King Kong. Godzilla's motivation varied from film to film; sometimes he tried to wreak havoc on civilization, sometimes he came to the aid of mankind (by battling other giant monsters), and sometimes he just wanted to live his own life. He was still pretty destructive, since mostly what he did was walk around and crush everything in his path. You can watch the original movie online, and enjoy some links and funnies about the alternately terrifying and friendly reptilian titan. Godzilla art. Robot Chicken: Dinosaur Armageddon. This bridge is closed to appease Godzilla. The Top Ten Giant Movie Monsters. From Godzilla to the Sta-Puf Man to a bird as big as a ba... More About: Science Fiction
Girls with Light Sabers
2008-06-10 05:26:00 Sure, girls play with light sabers, and wear pink, and will kick your ass. (via Unique Daily) More About: Girls , Star Wars , Light
Spock Monkey
2008-06-10 00:29:00 It’s a Spock Monkey . Why didn’t I think of that? Monkeys are available as other characters from Star Trek, too. Order now and get a free tribble! More About: Toys
Greek Philosophy
2008-06-09 23:39:00 In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?" "Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three." "Test of Three?" "That's correct," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" "No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it." "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?" ... More About: Philosophy , History , Greek
6 Historic Figures Who Were Celibate
2008-06-09 15:33:00 Going without sex I can relate to, but why would someone choose that lifestyle on purpose? Priests, yeah, but these guys are not priests. Some aren’t interested, some don’t know what they are missing, and others just gave up sex for one reason or another. These six historic figures are mostly creative types who were obsessed with their work ahead of... everything else. Pictured is Nikola Tesla, who had no trouble attracting women. More About: People , Historic , Figures
Kicking Through A Wall
2008-06-09 15:12:00 Yeah, this guy bragged about being about to kick through a cinder block wall. What could possibly go wrong? (via Unique Daily) More About: Video , Wall , Kicking
Famous Ducks
2008-06-09 10:19:00 One day I was trying to come up with a somewhat comical list for mental_floss and I asked my daughter Princess if she could think of any famous ducks. She thought for a minute and said, “The Ugly Duckling.” “Is that all you can think of?” I said. “Yes,” she replied. “The Ugly Duckling wasn’t even a duck! Have you ever heard of Daffy Duck?” “No.” “Have you ever heard of Donald Duck?” “No.” “Oh come on, remember the song! Mickey Mouse. Donald Duck! Mickey Mouse. Donald Duck!” “I’ve heard that!” she said, “I didn’t know what it meant.” My kids have had a very different child hood from mine. To help bring their cultural education up to snuff, I wrote Ten Famous (or Notorious) Ducks. I caught flack for not including Darkwing Duck, since I'm not familiar with it. He was apparently a duck dear to Gens X and Y, which ... More About: Critters
Frightening Diseases of the Mind
2008-06-08 21:34:00 (via Everlasting Blort) More About: Diseases , Mind , The Mind
Catfish and Dogfish
2008-06-08 18:15:00 One day a man came home kinda late. His wife was a little peeved and asked him to explain. He said, "Well you see, Honey I went fishing and thought I would just do a little bank fishing, got my gear out of the car and walked aways to the water. I threw my line in and oh boy, I pulled in a big catfish. I then found out I forgot to bring my fish basket. So I just threw the catfish in back of me under a tree. I baited up again and in a little while I caught one of those old dogfishes. I didn't want to put it back in the water so I threw it under the tree too. I baited up again and sat there waiting for my next catch. All of a sudden I heard such a noise and when I looked that dogfish and that catfish were in a fight and that dogfish chased the catfish up that tree and I had to sit there all day before I caught a swordfish to saw that tree down to get my catfish.” More About: Catfish
Southern Ingenuity, French Style
2008-06-08 07:28:00 I confess, this is a solution to a flat tire (or nonworking wheel) that I never considered before. Maybe it will work long enough for this guy to get to the garage. (via Unique Daily) More About: French , Transportation , Style , Southern
Dr. McCoy
2008-06-08 06:25:00 He’s Dead, Jim. (via Milk and Cookies) McCoy: "I've borrowed Mr. Scott's bagpipes." Kirk: "But you can't play them." McCoy: "While I've got them, neither can he!" McCoy: "Do you serve crabs here?" Mess officer: "We serve anybody. Sit down." Dr. McCoy finished his examination of Scotty and shook his head. McCoy: Scotty, I can't find any reason for your stomach pains. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking. Scotty: In that case, Leonard, I'll come back when you're sober. I’m a Doctor Star Trek Enterprise Bones Dr. McCoy
The Princess Bride Trivia Challenge
2008-06-07 21:32:00 (via Geek Like Me) More About: Movies , Princess , Trivia , Bride , Challenge
Around the Blogsphere
2008-06-07 19:23:00 Chris is on a mission to make the best popsicle ever. His latest efforts include the Dirty Martini. The 5 Most Terrifying Rites of Manhood from Around the World. Baseball as a second religion. Mike Ashley looks at how different denominations look at baseball. Ten videos with the word “idiot” in the title. All involve some kind of stunt that didn’t quite go right. The Hair Rapist. The weirdest news stories of the week. More About: Links , Blogsphere
Common People
2008-06-07 08:08:00 Your Saturday morning cartoon fix comes from the Shat. Clips from the old Star Trek animated series illustrate William Shatner’s version of Common People .
Bad Tattoos
2008-06-07 06:10:00 If you’re going to spend hundreds of dollars on a large full-color tattoo, you are going to be proud of it. It’s an investment in time, money, and pain.Then no matter how bad it is, you tell yourself it’s wonderful, because ... you’re stuck with it. When you’re that proud, you want to show the whole world, so your tat gets photographed and uploaded, where it ends up on the almost-weekly list of “The World’s Worst Tattoos .” Whats more, those lists keep coming out and there are new tattoo pictures all the time! Is there some kind of competition with a big payout for the very worst? You know how funny it is when westerners get Chinese tattoos that don’t mean what they think? What if Chinese people did that? Problems with Piercings. The Top Ten Most Stupid Tattoos. The 30 Most Hideous Gaming Tattoos. Patrick Swayze as a centaur tattoo. (via Pajiba) Previ... More About: Fashion
Progress Report
2008-06-07 04:59:00 So the first week of the new format here is almost at an end. Its kept me busy, but I think in the long run this will work out better than just one long post a day. I was surprised at how suddenly things took off! The post You know you're from California if... was submitted to Digg, which brought quite a bit of traffic, and Neatorama, which brought way more. Today is already my biggest traffic day ever! That's almost scary, because I can imagine my bandwidth expenses going up while ad revenue stays the same. But I'll deal with that if it happens. I also got called a homophobic racist bitch. So I'll make a note to start reading these jokes before I post them.But at least people are commenting, which hasn't happened in a while. One of my planned projects is to restructure the archives to make it easy to find something. No doubt I'll be the only one looking, but I'm going to sort the old posts in a way that you'll be able to find a pirate joke when you want it, or links on flam... More About: Report , Progress
The Story of My Ass
2008-06-07 03:17:00 Once upon a time, there was an old miner who was traveling through the desert with his trusty mule of many years. All of a sudden, the mule fell over dead. The old man buried his old friend and put up a cross as a grave marker. He wrote on the cross, "My Ass". Then he continued on his journey. Years later a town grew nearby the grave. The road into town went right by the marker, so the town adopted the name out of respect for the dead mule, that had taken care of the miner. It had become somewhat of an historical site. Then one day, a traveling salesman, who was lost, wondered into the old desert town, but didn't notice the marker. He saw a man on the street and stopped to get directions. The salesman asked, "Could you please tell me where I am?" "Sure," replied the old man. "You're right on the edge of My Ass." The salesman was puzzled by what the man said, so he decided to ask someone else. He thanked the man and continued to what appe... More About: Story , Places , The Story
The Letter in the Pond
2008-06-06 23:45:00 Yes, it’s a letter, from 2003. Found in the bottom of a pond. Recently, a friend of ours, Simon, moved to Over, just North of Cambridge, UK. He was moving to a lovely property, with a nice garden and a pond. Simon wasn’t so keen on the pond though. It’s not very child friendly, and with two young ones running around the garden, he thought it would be safer to get rid of it. A few buckets and hours of sweating later, Simon lifted the pond lining to discover a laminated piece of paper sitting at the bottom of the gaping hole that once was the previous owner’s pond. You’ll need to go to the linked story to read the entire letter, but I’ll let you know this much: the writer was not happy. (via Metafilter) More About: Links , Letter , Pond
The Haircut
2008-06-06 19:40:00 A customer is a customer, and the customer is always right. (via Fuzzytopia) More About: Video , Haircut
The Psychic
2008-06-06 12:39:00 Jennifer visited a psychic of some local repute.In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news:"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt - prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked:"Will I be acquitted?" More About: Psychic
Ten Reasons Not to Take Drugs on a Date
2008-06-06 10:44:00 Yes, I've been there, watching it unfold just this way. Many years ago. (via Dark Roasted Blend) More About: Drugs , Reasons
Science Can Kill You
2008-06-06 09:41:00 There are actually eleven scientists in the Top 10 Scientists Kill ed or Injured by Their Experiments. These stories are cautionary, inspiring, and bizarre at the same time. Pictured is Sir Humphrey Davy. As a young apprentice he was fired from his job at an apothecary because he caused too many explosions! When he eventually took up the field of chemistry, he had a habit of inhaling the various gasses he was dealing with. Fortunately this bad habit led to his discovery of the anesthetic properties of nitrous oxide. More About: Science
Swimming Without Legs
More articles from this author:2008-06-06 08:34:00 Meet three young ladies (ages 24, 16, and 11) in the mental_floss article Swimming Without Legs : 3 Inspiring Athletes. The first is missing one lower leg. The second is missing two lower legs. And the third is missing all of her legs. But they all swim their hearts out. Disclaimer: I wrote this. More About: People 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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