RetardZoneRetardZoneRetarded humor and news from the world intended to offend. 
Articles
Four flags commit flagiscide at Hillary Clinton speech
2007-11-12 00:00:00 It might not be her Waterloo but Hillary Clinton had her first major blooper this weekend, but Bob Dole and Gerald Ford never got over their public falls. Perhaps inspired by the swift boats for Kerry four flags keeled over at a Clinton speech, to her credit she ... More About: Speech , Linton
Car maker to begin producing car made just for Muslims - the Muslim Mobile
2007-11-12 00:00:00 Proton the Malaysian car maker is set to begin production of a car built specifically for Muslim s. The car will come complete with a compass to indicate the direction of Mecca for prayers and a compartment to house the Koran and prayer scarves, not sure if this will be ... More About: Mobile , Muslims , Maker , Made
Jesus found in suitcase
2007-11-10 00:00:00 Jesus has been found in grilled cheese sandwiches, rust stains and all manners of unusual places - recently he was found hiding in a suitcase when the driver was been detained by Customs and Border Protection officers after a failed smuggling attempt. This would explain why so many Mexicans ... More About: Jesus , Suit
Aqua Dots thinning the herd
2007-11-10 00:00:00 Once upon a time there was a teenager who had outgrown all toys and thought things purchased in the children's department or toy stores was beneath them. Then came China with their wonderful manufacturing techniques, low wages, oppressive government, ill-will towards the United States, and patent disregard for workplace ... More About: Dots , Aqua
If Evil Knievel was a drunk semi retarded college student
2007-11-10 00:00:00 Some things in life are totally senseless in life children suffering, labels on electric devices warning not to place in water, and anything starring Paulie Shore. Fortunately there are the brave among us willing to take any risk, reach for the stars, thrill a crowd or simply ride a bicycle ... More About: College , Student , Drunk , Evil , Semi
10 commandments of the mob discovered
2007-11-10 00:00:00 Police in Italy recently arrested one of the biggest leader s in the mob and made a surprising discovery. Salvatore Lo Piccolo carried a brown leather briefcase with a collection of papers, and among them were found the 10 commandments of the mob. Interestingly not all of the commandments ... More About: Commandments
Husband tells wife no more sex until you want it - still waiting after 8 yr
2007-11-10 00:00:00 Getting into a I can go longer than you contest with women over sex is like getting into a thirst contest with a camel. There is no way short of castration that you can win this battle, it's like your high school football team calling out the New England ... More About: Wife , Waiting , Tells , Husband , Wait
The cost of scaring people
2007-11-10 00:00:00 Sure I love a good prank just as much as the next guy if not more, but you might want to think twice before you scare some people. It's possible this kid grew up in a bad neighborhood and every time someone surprised him there was some kind of ... More About: People , Cost
Japanese make retarded concept cars
2007-11-10 00:00:00 Far be it from me to make fun of a country whose currency isn't losing value faster than Britney Spears loses weight between fat binges. American cars are riding the slow bus when compared to the Japanese auto industry as well, so when I see these concept cars it ... More About: Cars , Concept Cars , Make , Retarded
Britney Spears is officially retarded/handicapped
2007-11-10 00:00:00 Mother of the year and professional lip syncer Britney Spears is now handicapped. Or at least that's where she's parking - so she is either illegally parking or officially on the dating radar for retardzone. She was getting a tan so that does count as an emergency. Nice parking ... More About: Retarded , Handicap
Wood chipper claims another life
2007-11-10 00:00:00 I thought Fargo was a totally lame movie but was worth sitting through for the wood chipper incident alone. Over the past 10 years these killers have claimed 31 lives. Talk about jobs that Americans don't want to do, being around these monsters would qualify. Each year sharks kill ... More About: Life , Wood , Claims
Beer consumed through smell alone
2007-11-10 00:00:00 Guys are kinda dumb and they really like beer, sometimes it smells good and doesn't taste so good. If only there were a way to smell it but not have to taste it... Wait a second this clever drunk Russian guy has figured out a solution. More About: Beer , Smell
The benefits of ruining your life
2007-11-06 00:00:00 Thinking about getting married? This could be the most important mistake decision you will make in your life. There are some benefits, some risks and some potential rewards. Take a quick retarded view on matrimonial bliss and weigh your options before making the plunge to the death ... More About: Life , Benefits
The United States is doomed
2007-11-06 00:00:00 Alex Carey wrote: "... the 20th century has been characterized by three developments of great political importance: The growth of democracy, the growth of corporate power, and the growth of corporate propaganda as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy." C.S. Lewis was quoted as saying "Of all tyrannies, a ... More About: United States , United , States , The United States , Doomed
Kids getting high on poop
2007-11-06 00:00:00 Urine and poop aren't just for tasteless pranks anymore. Kids need only a soda bottle and a balloon to converted sewage into a hallucinogenic drug. This has all the hallmarks of a good internet prank so local police might want to wait before going out and breaking up ... More About: Poop , High
Where the UFO?s are
2007-11-06 00:00:00 The kind people at scifi channel have been good enough to make a map correlating the US map with UFO reports. It raises some serious questions and some pretty retarded ones too. Aliens like the west coast better - probably due to better advertising - or possibly higher Preferred ...
Must have Hello Kitty toy for women
2007-11-06 00:00:00 In what may be the most ironic product names of all time hello kitty from Sanrio is selling a vibrating massager on it's online store. It was being marketed as a "shoulder massager" but just take a look at it... It all started back in 1997 when Sanrio ... More About: Women , For Women , Hello Kitty , Kitty
The man arrested for loving his bicycle
2007-11-06 00:00:00 Robert Stewart is an nice old man from Scotland who likes bicycles just a little too much for the law. It seems that he was discovered in his hotel room by two housekeepers in October of last year... On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace ... More About: Arrested , Loving , Bicycle
One trillion dollars
2007-11-06 00:00:00 SHANGHAI, China - PetroChina became the world's first company worth more than $1 trillion on Monday, surging past Exxon Mobil as the Chinese oil producer's shares nearly tripled in their first day of trading in China. State-owned PetroChina Co., a unit of state-owned China National Petroleum Corp., is the country's biggest ... More About: Dollars , Doll
Human race splitting off into 2 different species
2007-11-06 00:00:00 The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist. 100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed. The alarming prediction comes from ... More About: Human , Race , Human Race , Diff
Achmed the Dead Terrorist
2007-11-03 00:00:00 A little humor here Jeff Dunham the comedian with a Achmed the dead terrorist skeleton dummy... More About: Dead , Terrorist
Retarded Halloween office party
2007-11-03 00:00:00 This year's first annual retardzone staff Halloween celebration was appropriately retarded. Although Halloween is now being banned in some school districts where it offends Muslims it is quite literally the last politically correct holiday remaining. I did my best to set this one last acceptable holiday back to getting ... More About: Office , Party , Retarded , Allo
Eco friendly afterlife?
2007-11-03 00:00:00 True the planet will probably be better off without your carbon footprint, belching and farting methane, driving a car, and breathing - but what about your coffin. Don't make your final act be as environmentally counterproductive as the rest of your infestation/life on this planet. This tasteful recycled paper ... More About: Friendly , Afterlife
Cool iphone mod
2007-11-02 00:00:00 I have no inclination to buy an iphone, nothing against macs but if I wanted to stare at something covered in smudges I would start fingering my monitor. This guy took his iPhone re-painted all of the apple logos for some unknown reason. The original iPhone Partially naked iPhone Now fully ... More About: Iphone , Cool
Wiccan lottery winner to open real life Hogwarts wizard school
2007-11-02 00:00:00 Wiccan 'high priest' Bunky Barlett who won $49 million dollars is planning to open a school for witches - a real life Hogwarts. Bunky who quit his day job, a bookkeeping service after winning the lottery. I'm not really sure how you become a high priest in the Wiccan ... More About: Life , Open , School , Lottery , Real
Prejudice puts man in jail for love
2007-11-02 00:00:00 At one point in history (and still in most of the Muslim world) it was a punishable offense to go around without an escort with someone you aren't married to. Divorce was a taboo and until judges wisely overturned voters gay marriage wasn't legal. Now prejudice has landed ... More About: Love , Jail , Prejudice
True hitchhiking horror story for Halloween
2007-11-02 00:00:00 Just in time for halloween comes a tale of horror that is sure to dissuade even the most charitable from offering a stranger a ride. Hitchhiking can be dangerous for either party in this case it was for both. This ill fated trip was a nightmare for both ... More About: Horror , Story , True , Halloween
Metallica fan goes on shaving strike waiting for new album
2007-11-02 00:00:00 Take one Metallica fan and a band that spends more time worrying about people downloading their music than actually making it. The BEARDweekone has given up shaving until the band releases their next album. The new album is scheduled for release sometime around February of 2008, but should be ... More About: Shaving , Album , Strike , Waiting
Abandoned building invaded by giant monster art
2007-11-02 00:00:00 Take one abandoned building somewhere in Russia and enough giant fake monsters to make a bad horror movie and a sequel. Not sure what was going on here, maybe some frustrated artist colony or the leftovers of some yet to be straight to video monster flick but it ... More About: Building , Monster , Giant , Done , Abandon
Parking for retards
More articles from this author:2007-10-26 00:00:00 Some moron has decided into park in one of our spots and we are way too immature to let this go without wildly inappropriate overreaction. Parking directly behind the parktard didn't seem to do the trick so we decided to get the city involved, or at least by proxy. ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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