RetardZoneRetardZoneRetarded humor and news from the world intended to offend. Articles
23 retarded friends lowering the IQ of six billion
2007-10-26 00:00:00 Today while I was surfing the web when I really should have been working I found an utterly retarded site and decided it needed help. The '6 billion' people webpage only had 43 people on it so I decided to add myself 23 times. Now beyond the two ... More About: Friends , Retarded , Erin , Billion
Top 10 reasons Dumbledore was gay
2007-10-26 00:00:00 Author JK Rowling recently revealed that beloved wizard school master Dumbledore was gay. This stunned most of the world, but there were signs all along and we break down the top 10 reasons we should have known all along. 1. Author's ... More About: Reasons , Bled
Retard wizard trapped in hat, freed by fire department
2007-10-26 00:00:00 Take one traffic cone, one three year old and Harry Potter and you're going to need to call the fire department. In a scene somewhat reminiscent of the baby Jessica rescue, only slightly retarded a crowd of firemen worked to free the poor child from a traffic cone. Yesterday, his ... More About: Department , Fire , Wizard
How to get rid of blackheads
2007-10-20 00:00:00 Being an avid reader and someone that is interested in science of all sorts, at least when it doesn't interrupt my faith, I found great interest when I read the title of a blog post and it grabbed my attention like a free bottle of vodka grabs a drunk homeless ... More About: Blackheads
David Copperfield?s latest magic trick could put him in jail
2007-10-20 00:00:00 David Copperfield the illusionist is wishing he could make the charges against him disappear. The magician who somehow convinced supermodel Claudia Schiffer to marry him may have pushed his luck to far, or had his ruffies wear off early... The woman told Seattle police the magician raped her while ... More About: Magic , David Copperfield , Trick , David , Jail
UK Microsoft Jackpot Lottery winner
2007-10-20 00:00:00 I'm going to retire. I never thought this day would come, but I won a lottery! I know that soon all of my family and friends and friends of friends will start talking to me again and acknowledge that I'm alive (I miss you mommy!) because of my ... More About: Microsoft , Lottery , Winner , Jackpot
Lasagna cooked in dishwasher recipe
2007-10-20 00:00:00 I've seen recipes for cooking food in your engine block, which requires leaving the house, spending twenty bucks in gas to drive far enough to cook something, ingesting fumes trapped in your food, and destroying the environment with that carbon emitting planet death trap called a car. That requires ... More About: Recipe , Reci , Lasagna
First ghost Pope John Paul sighting
2007-10-20 00:00:00 In what is sure to be just the first of many Pope John Paul sightings Vatican TV director Jarek Cielecki, a Polish priest and close friend of John Paul II, travelled to Poland after hearing an onlooker had photographed the image. Father Cielecki said he was convinced the picture showed ... More About: Ghost
Women faces jail time for swearing at toilet in her own bathroom
2007-10-20 00:00:00 A West Scranton woman could face up to 90 days in jail and a fine of up to $300 for allegedly shouting profanities at an overflowing toilet while inside her Luzerne Street home. Dawn Herb, whose potty mouth caught the attention of an off-duty police officer, was charged with disorderly ... More About: Women , Bathroom , Time , Faces , Toilet
Don?t squeeze my Charmin
2007-10-20 00:00:00 FOND DU LAC, Wisconsin -- It's possible that the world's largest toilet paper prank is in the making, and though we few and proud at Retard Zone are known for pranks, this isn't our doing. Fond du Lac County Executive Allen Buechel said someone has been repeatedly stealing toilet paper from ... More About: Squeeze , Charmin , Char , Armin
Latest trend in plastic surgery: inflating women?s private parts
2007-10-20 00:00:00 For decades men have been guilty of either exaggerating their own size or looking for ways to increase the dimensions of a certain body part. Now woman are actually paying up to twenty thousand dollars to their private parts enlarged. A Hollywood gynecologist has set up an institute ... More About: Women , Plastic Surgery , Surgery , Plastic , Private
United Nations official building 1.6 million dollar toilet
2007-10-20 00:00:00 The United Nations has declared 2008 the year of sanitation - and how best for an totally corrupt organization to celebrate something like that than a nearly two million dollar toilet. The primary architect of this campaign is Sim Jae-Duck, a former mayor of Suwon city on the outskirts of ... More About: Building , Dollar
Flying saucers may soon be deployed to Iraq
2007-10-20 00:00:00 Researchers have developed an UAV that looks like a flying saucer and is being evaluated by the British and American armies for service. GFS Projects' unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV) can soar high in the air, hover, bank and fly over any terrain, making it ideal for military surveillance. A ... More About: Iraq , Flying
Hillary Clinton admints ?Country Can?t afford? a million of her good ideas
2007-10-12 00:00:00 In what might have been an accidental moment of candid honesty presidential candidate Hillary Clinton admitted the country could not afford her million good ideas. It's not that giving out billions of dollars to fight every perceived wrong is a bad idea or that people who are fiscally conservative don't ... More About: Ideas , Country , Good
Greenpeace: save the planet by eating kangaroos
2007-10-12 00:00:00 Greenpeace and PETA are about to get in a brawl over kangaroos. When Greenpeace isn't out trying to prevent fishermen from harpooning whales they are suggesting Australians give up beef for kangaroo meat. This does some make some degree of sense non-indigenous domesticated animals have done considerable harm. Rabbits, foxes, ... More About: Planet , Save , Greenpeace , Eating , Kang
Whoopi calls on Al Sharpton to apologize to Duke lacrosse players
2007-10-12 00:00:00 In a class move Whoopi Goldberg calls on Al Sharpton to apologize to the former Duke lacrosse players, Al Sharpton has never apologized for the Brawley incident, another fictional rape account which led to riots in New York. Now that all remaining charges have been dropped against three former Duke ... More About: Players , Calls , Duke Lacrosse
Amazon selling used condoms online
2007-10-12 00:00:00 Amazon is selling used Trojan Ultra Thin Latex Condoms for half off. I am into recycling as much as the next guy and do save my cans, but this has got to be a serious health risk. A company in China was recently caught selling used chopsticks, but ... More About: Selling , Amazon , Online
10 dumbest things done on job interviews
2007-10-12 00:00:00 In a poll of hiring managers a few weeks ago, Accountemps (www.accountemps.com), a worldwide accounting-and-finance staffing firm based in Menlo Park, Calif., asked them, "What is the wackiest or most unusual pitch you've heard from a job seeker about why he or she should get the job?" From the job ... More About: Interviews , Things , Done
Candy prank part 2 - underneath under layers of junk
2007-10-06 00:00:00 People are always coming into my office taking candy, and that's cool I leave it out. I just figure they should have to work for it every once and a while. Last time I used epoxy to seal the candy jar. This time I figured I'd bury ... More About: Prank , Candy , Part , Junk , Layer
Google hates veterans
2007-10-06 00:00:00 Google has celebrated more than 62 holidays that it considers to be more important than memorial day or veterans day in the United States. They have gone so far as to actually celebrate Australian Veterans day. Maybe it would be more correct to say that they just ... More About: Google
Whoopi wants a threesome with Nancy Pelosi and her husband
2007-10-06 00:00:00 The TV show The View took a turn to the worst, when Whoopi Goldberg made awkward and seemingly unwanted offers of a threesome with house speaker Nancy Pelosi and her husband. I could imagine wanting to see maybe Jessica Biel and and Megan Fox - now that would be ... More About: Husband , Rees
Cover the Vin - it could just save your car
2007-10-06 00:00:00 Recently a friend of a friend sent me an email about covering the VIN to save my car. Being a football fan I naturally assumed it had something to do with now unemployed Vinny Testaverde. After all he did go to University of Miami and is kind of a guido looking Italian ... More About: Cover , Save
Is Tom Cruise building a $10 million underground bunker?
2007-09-29 00:00:00 According to recent (albeit unsubstantiated) rumors reports Tom Cruise is building a multi million dollar bomb shelter underneath his Colorado home. It's possible that the entertainment world mistook him wanting to avoid his recent string of movies bombing for wanting a bomb shelter. Apparently when Tom Cruise isn't busy ... More About: Building , Million , Underground
Pedro takes your tax dollars and makes a run for the border
2007-09-29 00:00:00 Pedro, Pedro, Pedro. U.S. customs took $59,000 from Pedro Zapeta. To be honest though, it wasn't all his money. When the government attempted to give him some of his money, he refused to accept it. Now this mess has evolved and you and I are paying for it. Pedro Zapeta ... More About: Pedro , Dollars , Doll , Lars
Ad shows gay Jesus at Last Supper surrounded by sex toys
2007-09-29 00:00:00 In a world where simply having a cartoon of Muhammad results in world wide riots and major news outlets refuse to even reprint the harmless cartoon Christianity is more than fair game. The Last Supper poster promoting the Folsom Street Fair replaces the bread and wine with sex toys ... More About: Jesus , Toys
Clinton wants your second graders reading this book
2007-09-29 00:00:00 All three frontrunners in the Democratic presidential race suggested Wednesday night at their debate in New Hampshire that they?d support reading the controversial book to children as part of a school curriculum. The book was the subject of a lawsuit in Massachusetts were second graders were forced to read ... More About: Reading , Book , Clinton , Linton
Man hooks up with wheelchair bound 75 yr old Elizabeth Taylor
2007-09-29 00:00:00 Unlike Anna Nicole Smith who was a stripper when she hooked up with billionaire J. Howard Marshall, this guy has cash of his own. African American businessman Jason Winters is by all accounts very wealthy. Why then would this non hideous rich guy go chasing down a wheelchair ... More About: Elizabeth , Bound , Taylor , Heel , Elizabeth Taylor
David Hasselhoff action figure cut out
2007-09-29 00:00:00 Just can't get enough of celebrities? Try out the new David Hasslehoff action figure cut out paper doll. Make him the evil bad guy from Night Rider by adding a mustache like they did in the 80's action show. Better yet give him a hamburger and let ... More About: Action , Hasselhoff , David Hasselhoff , Figure
Press uno for English
2007-09-29 00:00:00 It's not easy being caucasion in some areas of los Estados Unidos de América, I mean the United States of America. While Hispanics and Latinos are described as the largest minority group in the United States, there are approximately over 44 million people to whom they refer (though sometimes it ... More About: Press , English
Vote for me - I might pull out
More articles from this author:2007-09-29 00:00:00 Count last night's democratic presidential debate as one that finally asked a good question. The candidates were asked point blank if they could would be out of Iraq by 2013. In what may have been the greatest tease of all time all three major democratic candidates Edwards, Obama and ... More About: Vote , Pull 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
 |
|
 |
