RetardZoneRetardZoneRetarded humor and news from the world intended to offend. Articles
Thinking about getting a tattoo?
2007-09-27 00:00:00 At the end of the day guys would stick a fork in their head to impress women, and girls will sometimes date world class losers just to upset their parents. I'm not saying not to get a tattoo - I think it looks good on strippers. I guess ... More About: Tattoo , Thinking
Nuclear missile base on sale now for $1.5 Million
2007-09-26 00:00:00 Looking for that below ground home that can survive a nuclear attack or a full fledged zombie infestation? Well if you have 300K down you can purchase The Former Larsen Air Force Base Complex 1A Titan ICBM Facility 90 minutes from Spokane Washington. Closed in 1965 the sprawling ... More About: Nuclear , Sale , Million , Missile
MySpace spam
2007-09-25 00:00:00 It's a well known fact that if it weren't for spam, half of the work day would be available for things like goofing around at work, millions of people would go home to only see empty personal email inboxes, the Internet would run quicker and people would get bored sooner. ... More About: Spam , Myspace
Brady Bunch could have gone on Jerry Springer
2007-09-25 00:00:00 Like most kids who had to grow up before TIVO and six hundred channels I had to endure repeats of the Brad Bunch and Gilligan's Island like all the other kids who wanted to avoid reading. As it turns out the Brady Bunch was a whole lot more like ... More About: Jerry , Jerry Springer , Brady Bunch
John Chow advocates killing endangered species
2007-09-25 00:00:00 In what must be one of the oddest advertisements I've seen in my 5 hours total time of being on a computer, there is an ad for John Chow 's website where he's holding a knife to a panda's throat in a threatening manner. I'm not sure if this is something ... More About: Endangered Species , Endangered , Gere
Starting an Islamic laugh riot
2007-09-25 00:00:00 So what would it take to get executed if this was a Muslim nation? Well even a silly cartoon as it turns out. Unlike the Danish cartoons this cartoon didn't even show the Muhammad. The demonstrators demanded the execution of the paper's editor, Matiur Rahman, and burned effigies ... More About: Islamic , Laugh
Over 10,000 cameras in London may not reduce crime
2007-09-23 00:00:00 London has over 10 thousand cameras monitoring the city 24 hours a day, yet crime figures are unable to show a verifiable increase in convictions. The estimated cost of all these cameras is well over four hundred million dollars. It could just be that British television is so incredibly ... More About: London , Crime , Cameras , Reduce , Rime
Man without nose arrested for kidnapping
2007-09-23 00:00:00 The woman told investigators that her boyfriend, along with Robert Wayne "No Nose " Gardner, 47, and Robert Paul McCabe, 38, a man who had been doing work around the couple's house, kidnapped her from the garage on a Saturday morning. They used duct tape and handcuffs to restrain her. ... More About: Arrested , Kidnapping
Thousands rally to support students indicted for attempted murder
2007-09-23 00:00:00 In what should have been a non-issue, thousands of blacks protesters gathered in Jena, Louisiana on Thursday to show support for the "Jena 6", six black teens charged in the beating of a white classmate. Thursday was the day Mychal Bell expected to find out his punishment for his alleged ... More About: Murder , Students , Rally , Support , Ally
Grandmother wants to open chain of strip to exercise gyms
2007-09-23 00:00:00 I used to think stripping was just for daughters of divorced parents who had emotional issues and didn't want to get a real job that would interfere with a drug habit. At a strip club I normally just sit and drool so I don't get any exercise whatsoever, but the ... More About: Exercise , Open , Gyms , Strip , Chain
Jesse Jackson says Barak Obama ?acting like he?s white?
2007-09-23 00:00:00 Jesse Jackson recently criticized Barak Obama stating that he wasn't black enough and "acting like he's white". I am worried that Barak being down so far in the polls might get desperate and overcompensate. Barak has always seemed like a decent enough family man and I don't want ... More About: White , Jesse Jackson , Acting , Jesse
What to wear when you?re 900 pounds
2007-09-23 00:00:00 When I get dressed in the morning to go out in public sometimes I'm not sure what to wear. I'm over six feet tall weigh over 260 pounds, unless I'm dieting. I'm not a small person, and sometimes I have trouble finding normal size shirts to fit my ... More About: Wear
Earth invasion has begun, run for your lives
2007-09-23 00:00:00 Ok, well there haven't been any aliens sited yet. A meteorite has left a 66 foot crater in Peru and dozens have fallen ill, several requiring oxygen and claiming to feel dizziness, scratchy throats and other ailments. Witnesses told of a fiery ball falling from the sky and ... More About: Earth , Lives , Invasion
What does 11 percent of the population believe?
2007-09-23 00:00:00 Bush has proved himself to be a uniter after all, pretty much everyone has grown to dislike him over something. His approval ratings have been at or near historical lows for much of the last few years, but congress has been even more unpopular. Nearly a third as ... More About: Pula
Fertility doctor sued over couple having twins
2007-09-19 00:00:00 Having twins is considered to be a lucky rare occurrence in most cultures. Apparently this is not the case with Australian lesbians who are suing their doctor for artificially inseminating one of them with twins. I suppose the buy one get one free promotion is grounds for litigation when ... More About: Twins , Couple , Doctor , Sued
People in Seattle love to ride the SLUT
2007-09-19 00:00:00 Officially, the new line along the downtown waterfront is the South Lake Union Streetcar, but that's only after its first name, the South Lake Union Trolley, or SLUT, was changed, locals told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Vulcan, the developer of the former Cascade neighborhood, said that the SLUT acronym is just an ... More About: People , Love , Ride , Slut
Crocodiles may cost your child?s toes
2007-09-19 00:00:00 As if your children didn't have enough to worry about with the world about to end from global warming and unfettered cattle methane, or running into a republican senator in the bathroom. Beware of crocodiles, not just the waterborne variety either, those androgynous foot coverings that have all the style ... More About: Cost , Child , Crocodiles , Croc , Dile
Maryland hates happy people
2007-09-19 00:00:00 Maryland's highest court ruled on Tuesday that they are all a bunch of homophobic retards. In a decision from the state's appeals court, the 4-3 ruling by closet gays decided that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. According to a source close to the 4 who voted ... More About: People , Maryland , Happy
If you can?t stop smile as you go under
2007-09-08 00:00:00 Sometimes people who drive horribly encourage road rage. Road rage is like roid rage, only without the steroids or homeruns or dead family members (we'll miss you Benoit). Though I'm not usually the kind to have road rage, I am not immune to it or it's effects. Now though, I have ... More About: Stop , Smile
One wall, two thousand post it notes = new office hijinks
2007-09-05 00:00:00 A box of post it notes a clean new wall, a few beers and time to kill. Need to come into work during memorial day weekend to work on some servers, have some down time will the loud machines do their thing? Why not redecorate your co-workers office ... More About: Office , Post , Notes , Wall , Thousand
Googltrocity - the search that Google won?t let you make
2007-09-05 00:00:00 Without quite knowing why, I started Googl ing some odd queries and eventually found something that led me to being accused of being a spammer. Of course, while I'm not a spammer, I have eaten Spam and think that it's a staple of Hawaiian culture. As for the query... Performing the following search ... More About: Google , Search , Make
100 year old smoker mocks surgeon generals warning
2007-09-02 00:00:00 Winnie Langley has been smoking since the 1914. I am pretty sure that the millions of cigarette tax dollars that Rob Reiner raised for anti smoking in California could buy a decent hit man. This old lady is a poster child for smokers and if Rob hears about this ... More About: Warning , Smoker , Year , Generals , Urge
Craigslist can give you Jungle fever
2007-09-02 00:00:00 Craigslist is like ebay, but chalk full of hookers. I had one friend who didn't know there was anything but escorts in it and another married friend who found out and spent quite a while browsing it. A friend of mine, who is always sending me horrible things ... More About: Jungle , Give , Fever , Craigslist , Jung
Time to replace lightbulbs with jars
2007-09-02 00:00:00 A ban on light bulbs on incandescent light bulbs on the horizon, their mercury filled fluorescent replacements are a concern for landfills. Fortunately there is an even more eco friendly alternative, sunlight jars. Scientists have devised a method to save solar power in a bottle (no word on being ... More About: Time , Jars , Bulbs
Whale watching trip goes horribly wrong
2007-09-02 00:00:00 Whale watching tourists off the coast of Japan were treated to an unexpected site when a whale they were looking for were watching was hauled into a nearby whaling boat. Japan's controversial whaling program is categorized by as being scientific and for research purposes. Although the program mainly ... More About: Whale , Trip , Watching , Whale Watching , Wrong
Tapping feet in restrooms is a misdemeanor
2007-09-02 00:00:00 Beware of tapping your feet in public restrooms it could wind up getting you arrested or even something much, much worse. Normally when I am tapping my feet it's because I have to go to the bathroom. According to police the foot tapping in addition to putting your bags on ... More About: Feet , Tapping
300 illegals aliens instead of Spartans
2007-08-25 00:00:00 Take the movie Spar ta, mix it with illegal aliens and presto politically incorrect fun. Kind of funny instead of 300 the number at the end grows to 300 million or so pretty quickly. All issues should be fair game to make fun of and laugh at in a ... More About: Aliens , Tans , Illegals , Liens
Cross dressing a one year sentence in Muslim country?
2007-08-25 00:00:00 In Nigeria the crime of dressing as a woman is punishable by up to a year in prison. 18 Nigerians were arrested in the town of Bauchi and face a up to a year in prison and 20 lashes. The prison terms seems a bit harsh, I ... More About: Country , Muslim , Cross , Year , Cross Dressing
Clinton lied, never ordered Bin Laden killed
2007-08-24 00:00:00 Michael Isikoff of Newsweek, has caught Bill Clinton in a lie: He never authorized the killing of Osama bin Laden . In a heated exchange with a television reporter Clinton boasted he had ordered Bin Laden killed. According to just released documents from the CIA, this was not the ... More About: Killed , Lied
Cate Blanchett latest ugly actress to play man
More articles from this author:2007-08-23 00:00:00 Cate Blanchett is just the latest in a long line of not all that attractive women to play men in movies. When life beats you with an ugly stick maybe taking running with it and running with it is the way to go. Cate is going to star ... More About: Cate Blanchett , Play , Actress , Ugly , Cate 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
 |
|
 |
