Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from MalaysiaFunny and Quirky News and Jokes from MalaysiaSnippets of funny and quirky news and jokes from Malaysia Articles
Nurin autopsy photo culprit arrested
2007-11-03 06:20:00 KUALA LUMPUR: The police have identified the culprit who posted the autopsy photographs on the Internet of eight year-old rape and murder victim Nurin Jazlin Jazimin. Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan, however, declined to say when or where the suspect was arrested. “You will know him when we bring him to court and charge him,” he told reporters at a Hari Raya event at the Police Training College last night. Nurin Jazlin went missing on Aug 20 after going out to a night market alone near her home in Wangsa Maju here. Her naked body was found stuffed in a sports bag near a shoplot in Petaling Utama on Sept 20. Several days later, the post mortem photographs that were allegedly snapped from classified documents were posted on the Internet through e-mails. Regarding the killing of two police detectives in Sungai Buloh on Oct 25, Musa said: “Please don't ask me about this. We are still investigating.” In the 7.30pm incident, lance corporals Jaya Balan Kris... More About: Photo , Arrested
Datukship awarded to man convicted of Criminal Breach of Trust
2007-11-01 01:20:00 MALACCA: A former state agency official who was awarded a datukship on Monday by Malacca was convicted of criminal breach of trust in 1995.Former international manager of Malacca International Trade Centre, Hasnoor Sdg Husin, was found guilty and convicted of criminal breach of trust and was sentenced to nine months’ jail by a Sessions Court here on April 28, 1995, DAP secretary-general Lim Guan Eng said.He appealed and the High Court in Malacca set aside the sentence and replaced it with one day's jail and a RM1,500 fine or six months' jail, Lim said during a press conference here yesterday.Hasnoor did not appeal against the conviction and paid the fine.When contacted, Hasnoor said he had nothing to comment except that the award was given by the state.He received the Darjah Mulia Seri Melaka (DMSM) on Monday in conjunction with the 69th birthday celebrations of Yang di-Pertua Negri Tun Mohd Khalil Yaakob.Lim said he received many letters from the people who expressed unhappines... More About: Trust , Breach , Criminal , Mina
Netting whopper of a grouper
2007-10-31 07:35:00 TELUK INTAN: Their dragnet felt extremely heavy but the three fishermen from Hutan Melintang did not think a live 183kg grouper fish was their big catch. Fisherman Tan Eng Thiam, 45, said the incident happened about 11am yesterday when they were fishing in the Straits of Malacca coast near Sembilan island.Tan said the machine lifting the dragnet to the fishermen’s boat experienced technical difficulties due to the heavy catch.He said it was common for the machine to experience difficulties when the drag net got stuck on logs at the bottom of the sea.“However we were stunned to find what we thought were logs was actually a giant grouper fish that was still alive,” said Tan. The 2.1-metre-long fish was brought back to the beach near Hutan Melintang. They first sold the fish to a middle-man who later sold it to a restaurant operator for RM5,500.Before yesterday’s big catch, the heaviest grouper fish caught weighed 163kg.Source: The New Straits Times Cli... More About: Grouper , Whopper
Top Cop denies having RM27 million
2007-10-31 01:09:00 KUALA LUMPUR: Federal Commercial Crime Investigation Department director Comm Datuk Ramli Yusoff admitted yesterday that he was the “RM27mil cop” being investigated by the Anti-Corruption Agency, but denied that he had amassed such wealth. “I do not have RM27mil as alleged by several newspapers. My legal source of income – buying and selling properties including shares – is more than the assets that I have declared under oath. This is certified by an accountant,” he said, adding that he was investigated after a report was lodged against him with the ACA. Comm Ramli said he had nothing to hide and was willing to work with the ACA and answer any question anytime. He said that as far as he knew, the ACA had cleared him of any wrongdoing as of Sept 2006, arguing that he would not have been promoted to the rank of commissioner otherwise. Comm Ramli said he only knew that he was under investigation by the ACA when the Pangkat Gagah Pasukan Polis (police gallantry awa... More About: Million
Singaporeans blur on sex
2007-10-30 11:05:00 MANY Singaporeans have been seeking help from doctors on how to have sexual intercourse, Sin Chew Daily reported yesterday. Singapore Thomson Medical Centre (TMC) founder Dr Cheng Wei Chen said the hospital received several people every month, mostly university graduates, seeking their guidance on how to “do it”. Its urology senior consultant Dr Lin Fa Cai said he once treated a woman who was married for 10 years and supposedly had sex more than 1,000 times, but was still a virgin. Dr Lin said the husband, who had a doctorate degree, and his wife, who complained of being unable to conceive, sought help at the hospital. “The couple told me they had sex about three times a week but when I examined the wife, her hymen was still intact. “He had a doctorate degree but zero knowledge on sex,” he said. Another doctor, who declined to be named, said a couple in their 30s sought help from Mount Elizabeth Hospital and Medical Centre for failing to conceive after seven year... More About: Blur
Sex tutorial with Dr Love
2007-10-27 09:39:00 A NEWLY-MARRIED couple had sexual intercourse in front of a Singapore sex expert known as Dr Love after complaining to him that they could not experience sexual pleasure, reported China Press. The daily said the couple, in their 30s, had called on Dr Love to tell him that they had tried various sex positions but still could not achieve any satisfaction. He told the daily that the woman also complained that she suffered from stiff back whenever she had sex with her husband. Dr Love then showed them pictures of various sexual intercourse techniques and explained to the couple, who paid S$700 (RM1,600) in consultation fee, how to tackle their problem. “It was then that the woman suggested to me that she have sex with her husband in front of me. “They undressed and had sex on my sofa. They wanted me to correct their mistakes on the spot,” the daily quoted Dr Love as saying. However, the daily reported that the couple still could not understand the various techniques ta... More About: Tutorial
Female Compassion
2007-10-25 21:28:00 A man was lying on a blanket at the beachHe had no arms or legs.Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The first woman said " Have you ever had a hug"The man said "No",So she gave him a hug and walked on.The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss".The man said "No",So she gave him a kiss and walked on.The third woman walked over to him, knelt down and whispered in his ear,"Have you ever been Fucked?The fellow looked up in amazement and said "No"The woman smiled and said "You will be when the tide comes in." Click here for more Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from Malaysia More About: Female , Compassion
Never bring a kid to museum
2007-10-24 04:00:00 One good reason why we should not bring children to museum. Click here for more Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from Malaysia More About: Museum
Erra to Wed Engku Emran on Thursday
2007-10-23 08:10:00 PETALING JAYA: Singer Erra Fazira and SuriaFM chief operating officer Engku Emran Engku Zainal Abidin will wed on Thursday . When contacted, Engku Emran said the akad nikah (solemnisation of marriage ceremony) preparations were going well. “There is still a little bit of time to finalise things. It’s been really hectic,” he told The Star. “Though the preparations are quite elaborate, we want to keep it a close-knit affair with family members and close friends. I'm too busy to even feel nervous. Maybe, I will be, on the day itself,” he said. Wedding invitations were sent out yesterday. Midway through the conversation, Erra interjected and said she hoped the marriage would last, this time. The singer/actress who had asked for a copy of the Quran from the groom said the gift would signify blessings from God and would be a sweet symbolic gesture. Erra, who has just finished shooting a Hollywood movie, Hidden in July, said that there had only been a month t...
The Right Brain vs Left Brain test
2007-10-23 07:58:00 The Right Brain vs Left Brain test ... do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise? If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it. LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONSuses logicdetail orientedfacts rulewords and languagepresent and pastmath and sciencecan comprehendknowingacknowledgesorder/patter n perceptionknows object namereality basedforms strategiespracticalsafe RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONSuses feeling"big picture" orientedimagination rulessymbols and imagespresent and futurephilosophy & religioncan "get it" (i.e. meaning)believesappreciatesspatial perceptionknows object functionfantasy basedpresents possibilitiesimpetuousrisk taking Source: The News.com Click here for more Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from Malaysia More About: Test
TheTranslator - CatherineTate
2007-10-22 04:48:00 A very funny skit by Catherine Tate called "The Tran slator". Enjoy! Click here for more Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from Malaysia More About: Inet , Erin
Malaysian Sues: Refuses Iraq Duty
2007-10-21 02:36:00 LOS ANGELES: A Mala ysian -born US Army soldier has launched a legal bid to prevent being sent to Iraq , claiming deployment to the war zone would conflict with his religious beliefs, lawyers said on Friday. Calvin Lee Chee Keong, a 26-year-old Malays ian who has permanent residency in the United States, said in a lawsuit filed here that he had been duped into joining the military by recruiters in 2004. Lee, a Buddhist, said he had been told he would never have to leave the United States during his three years' military service or go to war, lawyers for the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) said. However, he sought conscientious objector status after discovering that his service was being extended and his unit was being deployed to Iraq, the ACLU said in a statement. “Every action of killing is so evil and wrong, I don’t want to do any evil things and see any suffering happening right in front of my eyes,” Lee said in the statement. The Department of the Army rejected hi... More About: Duty
Why Western Wine is Expensive Compared to Chinese Wine?
2007-10-20 04:12:00 Ever wonder why Western Wine is expensive compared to Chinese wine? Chinese Wine MakerWestern Wine Maker Click here for more Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from Malaysia More About: Pare
Cops may now learn how Osama sneaked into plane in Malaysia
2007-10-19 04:46:00 SEPANG: Finally, answers will be forthcoming on how a Palestinian breached security at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport.Malaysia n authorities had been lamenting that they had no access to stowaway, Osama R.M. Shublaq, and did not have a clue on how he had boarded a Singapore Airlines flight at KLIA.They were contemplating making a request to Singapore to question the 27-year-old Palestinian who was being held in the republic.Their concerns were put to rest yesterday when Osama was deported to Malaysia after the Singapore Subordinate Courts acquitted him of entering the republic illegally.He was put on a Singapore Airlines flight which landed at KLIA at 5.55pm and was immediately taken into custody by Immigration Department officials.Osama was later handed over to Sepang police and questioned for over an hour by the Selangor CID chief SAC II Mazlan Mansor, who is heading investigations.Mazlan said this was a matter of national security and declined to comment further.It is, how... More About: Cops , Plane , Learn
Sam the seagull stealing Doritos
2007-10-19 01:52:00 A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing crisps from a neighbourhood shop.The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn't looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos .Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.The seagull's shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen , Scotland , and helped himself to a bag of crisps. Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of crisps .Customers have begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of chips because they think it's so funny . Click here for more Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from Malaysia More About: Seagull , Stealing , Agul
Car versus Lorry Launching
2007-10-18 03:28:00 CAR LAUNCHING LORRY LAUNCHING Click here for more Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from Malaysia More About: Versus
Couple caught in intimate embrace caused accident pile-up
2007-10-17 05:01:00 MUAR: A couple caught making out in their car tried to speed off but got caught in an accident, causing a five-car pile-up in Tanjung Agas here. In the 8.45pm incident on Monday, police personnel in a passing patrol car spotted the couple locked in intimate embrace in a car at a hypermarket car park in Tanjung Agas. As the patrol car neared them, the couple sped out of the car park for the Muar-Tanjung Agas road. However, the couple’s car, a Proton Perdana, was involved in an accident with a passing car and this caused three other cars to crash not far from the Muar bridge near Tanjung Agas. The couple, both in their 20s, were detained and the man was booked for reckless driving. Muar traffic police officer Chief Insp Lim Aik Sin said the couple had been referred to the district religious department. He said the man was a factory worker living in Malacca while the woman, a private college student in Kuala Lumpur, was from Kluang. Source: The Star Online Picture: Il... More About: Accident , Couple , Embrace , Caught , Cide
Teenager with a heart of gold robbed
2007-10-17 03:25:00 DO unto others as you would have them do unto you. This is the saying which an 18-year-old, who only wishes to be known as Tan, lives by.Despite his busy schedule as an accountancy student in a college in Sunway, Tan, from Bangsar, still manages to spare two hours once a week to teach English and Maths for free to poor students at an outreach centre in Sri Sentosa, Jalan Klang Lama. However, his good deeds went unrecognised as he was robbed by two men while he was about to teach a class last Tuesday. The incident occurred when he was climbing a flight of stairs for an 8pm class where he tutors some 25 students.Relating his ordeal, Tan said his path was blocked by a man in his 20s. He said the man had confronted him before calling an accomplice, who arrived armed with a cleaver. “The duo made it clear that all they wanted was money. So I handed them my wallet containing RM310 and my cell phone.“At the time, I wasn’t scared but I felt life was more precious tha... More About: Gold , Heart , Teenager , Ager , Robbed
A case of mistaken Penis
2007-10-16 05:24:00 KEMAMAN: She felt a warm body next to her. Thinking it was her husband, she did what came naturally. Not until her husband entered the room and asked her about a man he had seen walking out of the room did she realise that she had had sex with another man. The housewife, 40, then lodged a report at the Cukai police station at 5.30pm alleging she had been raped. Police later arrested the couple's friend, a 29-year-old labourer, who had been staying with them over the past two months. The woman said she went to bed in their Chuping home about 5am on Friday after making preparations for Hari Raya Aidilfitri celebrations. Her husband had gone to work earlier. About an hour later, she claimed, she felt a man next to her and she proceeded to make love to him. She claimed she did not see his face. When her 34-year-old husband walked into the room a little later, she said she was surprised to see him in his work clothes.The couple had allowed the suspect to stay wi... More About: Case , Penis , Mista
Kick Kenny Sia between his two large coconuts
2007-10-15 17:55:00 An very entertaining game. Kenny if you're reading this, please don't get angry. It's just a harmless game. Click here for more Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from Malaysia More About: Kick , Ween , Large
'Phantom' stowaway at KLIA
2007-10-15 05:31:00 KUALA LUMPUR: A Palestinian national who managed to sneak onboard a Singapore-bound Boeing 777-200 via the nose wheel last Thursday did not turn up on any closed-circuit television camera recordings. And now red-faced officials are wondering how this serious security breach occurred under their noses with airports worldwide tightening security.Transport Minister Datuk Seri Chan Kong Choy did not mince words when he said the security breach at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport should have not happened."I was angry and upset when I was briefed about the incident and I have told Malaysia Airports Holdings Bhd (MAHB) to submit a full report and investigation on the incident," he said.MAHB operations senior general manager Datuk Azmi Murad said surveillance tapes did not reveal the Palestinian anywhere in the airport. The suspect, Osama R.M. Shublaq, 27, is said to have hidden in the nose wheel well on Flight SQ 119 from Kuala Lumpur late on Thursday night.He was dis... More About: Phantom
Mystery mansion
2007-10-13 04:49:00 PENANG: A dilapidated mansion in Relau is sending chills down the spines of nearby residents who have heard rumours of “souls'' in the building. Factory operator M. David Raj, 19, who has been hanging out at the Relau Villa mansion with his friends and cousins for the past five years, said he had on several occasions smelt “fish curry'' while they were there at about 7pm. “My friend once uttered some vulgar words while we were coming down the steps in the mansion and he suddenly went tumbling down,'' said Raj, who had heard rumours about a woman committing suicide in the mansion's pool. Another resident, who only wished to be known as Ah Beng, said a nun who used to live in the mansion grounds once told him that “something is always whispering'' to her. “I never got to find out what it was about because she died about three years ago,'' said Ah Beng. The mansion's condition adds to the eerie atmosphere. It is covered with creeper plants with tree branche... More About: Mansion , Mystery , Myst
Police release CCTV video footage in Nurin's case
2007-10-12 02:01:00 KUALA LUMPUR: Police have several leads following the enhancement of the video recording of a man carrying a bag, believed to contain the naked body of Nurin Jazlin Jazimin, by the Federal Bureau of Investigations' forensics laboratory in Washington.Federal CID Director Comm Datuk Christopher Wan Soo Kee, who made the recordings public yesterday, said: “The image of the man leaving the sports bag was captured at about 1pm on Sept 16.”The two-minute footage, captured on a web-camera CCTV system, shows the man in a long-sleeved T-shirt parking his Modenas Kriss motorcycle in front of the Jalan PJS 1/48 Petaling Utama three-storey shoplot, removing his crash helmet and making a call on his handphone.He is also seen walking towards the shop after the phone call, wearing his helmet and lifting the sports bag that was placed between the motorcycle seat and front basket.The man then coolly carries the bag towards the building before returning to his motorcycle without the bag and spee... More About: Video , Release , Case , Footage
Cultural Learnings of Hanoi For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Malaysia by
2007-10-11 05:17:00 Here are few excerpts from Kenny Sia's blog, another funny and enjoyable entry from the funny man. Kenny Sia wrote:On drinking coffee... Excerpts:"This is ka fay sua da, otherwise known as Vietnamese iced coffee. When I took a sip at this drink for the first time, my eyes widened, my arsehole tightened and I was bouncing off the walls. That was the strongest iced coffee I've had! All they gave us was a glass of condensed milk with a weird contraption on top. All it contained was ground coffee and a dose of hot water. But what passed through the filter, dripping into the glass below was ounces of pure coffee heaven. It's the Asian version of espresso, it's so rich with caffeine kick and it's cheap as hell. Someone has gotta import this thing here. We may have spent 4 days in Vietnam, but when we returned, the only Vietnamese word we could speak was ka fay sua da!" On driving in Vietnam... Excerpts: "Vietnamese people drive without a care in ... More About: Malaysia , Nation , Hanoi , Make , Benefit
Malaysian in space
2007-10-10 15:43:00 BAIKONUR (Kazakhstan): At exactly 9.23pm (Mala ysian time), the Soyuz -FG rocket launcher blasted off from the Baikonur Cosmodrome. The rocket launcher, carrying the Soyuz TMA-II spacecraft with Malays ian cosmonaut Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor and his crew members on board, lit up the clear night sky. Witnesses to the event from the launch view, three kilometres away from the launch pad, felt the ground shake from the enormous thrust of the launcher. VIPs and guests who witnessed the launch included Dr Sheikh Muszaphar’s proud parents Datuk Sheikh Mustapha Shukor and Datin Zuraida Sheikh Ahmad. Dr Sheikh Muszaphar, Nasa’s commander Peggy Whitson - the first female International Space Station (ISS) commander - and Russian Yuri Malechencko comprise Expedition 16S, which will make a trip to the ISS and return on Oct 21. Some two hours before the launch, all communication systems (telephone lines, mobile telephone lines and TV) were cut off in Baikonur to block the airwaves and en...
Post-mortem pictures of Nurin Jazlin Jazimin leaked on the Net
2007-10-10 07:32:00 KUALA LUMPUR: Even in death, there is no peace for Nurin Jazlin Jazimin. She is still being violated and this time, it may very well be by the same people who are supposedly involved in the investigations to nab her killer.This is what police are working on after sickening pictures of her post-mortem were found to be circulating on the Internet via emails.The pictures include Nurin's body inside the sports bag and part of the post-mortem report.Selangor police chief Datuk Khalid Abu Bakar is furious and has instructed a full investigation into how the photographs, which were classified as "secret", had made it on to the Internet. Attorney-General Tan Sri Abdul Gani Patail also expressed outrage over this latest development and said he wanted a full investigation."It is a despicable and deplorable act," Khalid said angrily.The case is being investigated under the Official Secrets Act 1972 and for possession of pornographic materials.He did not discount the possib... More About: Pictures , Post , Leaked , Mort
Is this Intan Ladyana & Kevin Zahri in intimate embrace?
2007-10-09 14:41:00 Is this the really Intan Ladyana (of the popular drama series "JELATANG " on TV3) & Kevin Zahri? You be the judge of it!The alleged 'intimate' picture above. The actual pictures of Intan Ladyana below.FM: Upon careful inspection of the alleged picture, it looks more like a japanese porn star instead of Intan Ladyana.Source of Intan Ladyana's pictures Click here for more Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from Malaysia More About: Embrace
Firm to help find man harassing teen using nude photo
2007-10-08 01:54:00 SUNGAI PETANI: Police are working with Digi Communications to trace a person who has been “terrorising” an underage girl by sending a nude photograph of the girl.The person had been sending the photograph of the 16-year-old girl via the multimedia messaging service (MMS) since late last month, said Kuala Muda OCPD Asst Comm Hashim Ali.It is learnt that the girl, accompanied by her father’s friend from Penang, lodged a report at the Sungai Petani police station here several days ago.It is learnt that she had taken the photograph with her own camera phone “as a girlish prank.”However, it is believed that she accidentally sent the photograph to an unknown number by mistake when she was trying to store the picture in her phone.On Sept 26, she was shocked to receive the same photograph, which was purportedly sent by a Digi Telecommunications user.The girl was too frightened to inform her parents and so she had only told her best friend, who advised her to make a police report.A... More About: Photo , Find , Hara
Siti Nurhaliza - Help! Please clear my zits
More articles from this author:2007-10-07 05:08:00 Please help clear Siti Nirhaliza's zitsShare Click here for more Funny and Quirky News and Jokes from Malaysia More About: Siti Nurhaliza , Clear , Zits 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 |
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