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The Best Fashion Accessory To Tell The World That Although You Are Smart An
2008-08-12 15:27:00
Here's something you almost never hear: I'm having a Lisa Loeb-y kind of day. Good days, bad days, days when everything smells kind of like cherry Pop-Tarts, sure -- we've all had those kinds of days, but Lisa Loeb-y days?Okay, well, there you go. That's the kind of day I'm having, and it does, at least, beat the cherry-Pop-Tart day; those days (I have too many of them) are annoying, cherry-filled, and kind of worrisome, too, because I get to thinking what if there really are so many cherry Pop-Tarts that the whole world smells like them? That can't be good? But the alternative is that I'm experiencing (frequently) some kind of smell-lucination, and that's not good, either.I'm having a Lisa-Loeb-y day because on the way into work this morning I saw a girl wearing Lisa Loeb glasses, which you astute readers have now guessed is today's nomination (are today's nomination? Is "glasses", are "glasses" singular or plural? They should be singular, shouldn't they? I mean, there...
More About: Fashion , World , Smart , Accessory , The World

you got a smooth way of talking
2008-08-12 05:28:00
Welcome to The Best of Everything! New today: Man, Paris Hilton will not give up. Find out how she's fighting to keep her nomination as The Best Gossiple as TBOE continues it's Closer Look At The Best Gossiple.What's The Eleven Spot? Find out by reading The Best Song To Turn Up At A Particular Point During The Song Just To Emphasize How Cool That Song Is.Featured Best: There are a lot of versions of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" out there, and I've listed most of them -- but cut to the chase and find out which is The Best and Absolutely The Last Of The Best VersionS of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight."Or, just browse around the Alphabetical Listing Of All The Bests Ever!The Best Of Everything welcomes reader submissions: leave yours in a comment or email me at "thetroublewithroy[at]yahoo.com". You might just win a t-shirt!
More About: Talking , Smooth

She might just try to label the cats, too.
2008-08-12 05:18:00
The Boy starts football practice tomorrow -- cleats, shoulder pads, helmet, gloves, and more. Middle, meanwhile, starts golf this week: golf bag, clubs, balls, golf shoes, glove, towel, and more. Always more. The sheer amount of stuff that the kids take to school these days is pretty overwhelming to me; I used to just have one of those little folders to carry junk back and forth.Plus, they just pile it all in together. Middle's golf team keeps all their stuff in a shed at the course. The Boy has a couple of lockers that he uses for football stuff, and he and his friend carpool together to the games, which means the two of them-- plus The Boy's friend-- are constantly getting their stuff mixed up and trying to sort out whose is whose.That's what they did in the past, at least. This year it's going to be different. This year, it's going to be organized. This year, Sweetie invested in a DYMO Label maker. This thing is cool. I'm not one to be organized, but I've got to ...
More About: Cats

The Best Song To Turn Up At A Particular Point During The Song Just To Emph
2008-08-10 21:39:00
In some ways, teenagerdom never ends, and one of those ways is playing music so loudly that you permanently damage your hearing and have to have the TV turned up so high, during Sweeney Todd, that your wife gets mad at you because it woke her up, to which you can only reply that you have to turn it up that high because otherwise you can't hear what they're saying between the songs.It may be too little, too late, but I'm trying to be more responsible about my music listening and at least avoid more permanent (permanent-er?) damage to my ears by keeping the music at a more reasonable (reasonable-er?) level.Which I'm mostly able to do except that there are some songs out there that deserve to be played loud, and there are some songs out there that deserve to have the volume start out kind of low, and then get cranked up as high as you can possibly stand it at just the right moment so that the increase in the volume emphasizes just how cool that particular moment of that particular ...
More About: Song , Point , Turn

The stars went out and so did the moon.
2008-08-08 22:53:00
NEW TODAY: The Best Job To Dream of Having When You Get A Little Tired of Having Your Own Job... yeah, it's one of those days.Also: The battle rages on -- find out whether Paris Hilton's attempts to stay The Best Gossiple will work (and weigh in on the poll to your left!) Welcome to The Best Of Everything -- Our Opinions Are Righter Than Yours! -- where I (and you, the reader) can nominate something you love as The Best, in any category you can make up.Look to your left ... no, your other left... for a listing of the broad topics The Bests fall into, as well as an alphabetical listing of everything ever talked about here on TBOE. Or, read the most recent Best (The Best Job... etc etc) by clicking here.Want to submit your own Best? You can by commenting or emailing me at "thetroublewithroy[at]yahoo.com". Like maybe you think your song is The Best Romantic Song, like Bradley did?The Obligatory Chick Reference: I never had a teacher I was hot for -- but I do like the drums in that song.
More About: Stars , Moon , The Moon

We're all a little weary.
2008-08-08 22:46:00
This book is for you. And you. And you. And you, over there, too, the one in the corner, looking down."Life Inspirations, Volume 1: Poetry with Purpose" is a book of inspirational poetry that sets out to bring faith and hope back to you, and you and you and me and all of us -- people who in the past decade have seen terrorist attacks, poisonings, hurricanes, and financial and political crises, people who might find themselves feeling down or hopeless.Ozell Adkins, in Life Inspirations, combats that hopelessness by pointing out that life is just beginning, that nothing is too hard for God, and that everything -- everything-- happens for a reason and for the best. It's no small book; reading it will teach you how to appreciate life's finer points and improve your relationships; it'll help you discern what purpose your life and others' lives have, and it'll reassure you that at every step, God is helping you because ?All things work together for the good of those who love God and ...

The Best Job To Dream Of Having When You Get A Little Tired Of Having Your
2008-08-08 17:26:00
Sometimes, I have to take a break from blogging and writing and watching "The Airborne Toxic Event" acoustic videos on Youtube and wondering if they took their name from M. Night Shymalan's crummy movie The Happening, or if he took his "ideas" for that terrible movie from the band's name, or if there was some actual "airborne toxic event" that inspired both the awful movie and the pretty good band...Sometimes, I have to stop doing all that and "work." Yesterday was one of those days, when, wearing a tie and looking sharp, I had to attend a court hearing on behalf of a client, driving 1 and 1/2 hours one way to get there, only to meet with the judge and learn that due to a busy calendar, the judge was not prepared to issue a ruling that day and needed a few more months.The judge, a very nice guy, sighed and mentioned that his workload was so overwhelming that if it didn't get better, he might give it up and just drive a truck.That's a pretty drastic shift-- go from sentencing cri...
More About: Dream , Tired

Think and act now; live better later.
2008-08-08 17:17:00
Most people never give much thought to curing a disease until it personally affects them. But the time for women to think about curing a potentially life-threatening or life-altering illness in themselves, or even their close relatives, is now.Women have the ability now to fight diseases that they or a close relative might face in the future -- horrible diseases like Alzheimer's and Parkinson's, or heart disease, or stroke. The cure, the ability to fight, lies in stem cells the women have in their own body, stem cells that can be harnessed through some revolutionary new procedures developed by C'elle.C'elle provides women each month with an easy, safe method of collecting stem cells found in menstrual fluid; the process in non-invasive and allows C'elle to process and cryopreserve the stem cells for use in potential cellular therapies in the future; in addition to the possibilities for fighting off those diseases I mentioned, the cells that are saved no might also help with spo...
More About: Live

Night Is A Room Darkened For Lovers.
2008-08-07 19:43:00
NEW TODAY: A Closer Look At... The Best Video. Who was kissing Madonna back when kissing Madonna was something people actually wanted to do? Find out... And, an EVEN CLOSER look at Paris Hilton's status as The Best Gossiple: Paris fights back against TBOE's reconsideration.Have commercials replaced radio? Well, why shouldn't they -- they've got better music, as I point out in The Best Song From A Commercial.Welcome to The Best Of Everything -- Our Opinions Are Righter Than Yours! -- where I (and you, the reader) can nominate something you love as The Best, in any category you can make up.Look to your left ... no, your other left... for a listing of the broad topics The Bests fall into, as well as an alphabetical listing of everything ever talked about here on TBOE. Or, read the most recent Best (The Best Song From A Commercial) by clicking here.Want to submit your own Best? You can by commenting or emailing me at "thetroublewithroy[at]yahoo.com". Allie thought that Mary Kate was...
More About: Night , Lovers , Room

See more than just the garden of good and evil.
2008-08-07 19:33:00
Did you know that Savannah is where the events that are recounted in the book Midnight In The Garden of Good And Evil took place? It's true -- the strange but true murder story set out in that book took place in Savannah, and the book is as much about Savannah, Georgia, as it is about the murder itself.Reading that book was like taking a vacation in Savannah itself -- a murder mystery vacation -- but that couldn't compare with an actual trip to the city; reading a book could never prepare me to have experienced the stately streets, the beautiful homes, the trees and monuments and just general feel of one of the oldest cities in the United States, one that has even more to offer than I would have expected just from reading that book.Savannah is not unique in that respect; like other cities I've visited, I was drawn to Savannah because of one or two things that I knew about it, only to learn once I was there that there were literally thousands of things to do and see and experience...
More About: Good and Evil

A Closer Look At... A Closer Look At... The Best Gossiple.
2008-08-07 19:22:00
Touche, Paris Hilton.No sooner do I take a closer look at your gossipleness than you fight back to keep your name in the news and on people's minds by injecting yourself into the presidential debate. So, as The Best Of Everything considers whether Paris' nomination as The Best Gossiple should be revoked, we all will have to not just vote on that poll to the left, but consider this:Click here to see all the other topics I?ve ever discussed!Great Mistakes:Great Mistakes In History: Letting Favre Go.bybrianefpDesign Customized Shirts At zazzle.comHelp Mateo and McHale! The Wonder Twins are medical miracles, but they can't do everything. Find out more about them, and how to help them with their medical bills, by clicking this link.
More About: Closer

Don't just save; save smart.
2008-08-07 19:14:00
The economy is uncertain, and people are more worried than ever about their savings and their future. That's led a lot of people to try to save more and spend less, invest more in mutual funds or retirement plans. Those are good things -- but you and I and the guy down the hall are not professionals at this, so we may not be managing our money wisely. Put money in a savings account, and while it's guaranteed, it also doesn't earn enough interest to outstrip inflation. On the other hand, you don't want to sink it all into the stock market, either, because if that goes down, your savings are gone.Don't take chances with your nest egg or your retirement; hire a qualified money manager to guide you through the financial maze that modern society has become. In fact, hire Empire Wealth Management.Empire Wealth Management can help you manage Florida annuities, savings, stocks, bonds, tax planning, retirement planning, and more. They're an LLC located in Florida (but serving a nationw...
More About: Smart , Save

The Best Song From A Commercial.
2008-08-06 17:13:00
I never really listen to the radio anymore, and I blame modern society.Modern society has ruined me for, oddly enough, modern society. All these advances in our civilization make me intolerant of most aspects of our civilization. For example, I can't watch live TV anymore because a couple years back, we got a DVR and now I tape most of my shows and fast forward through the commercials. So when I'm watching live TV, I can't skip the commercials that I don't like, and I get frustrated and it takes away from the show.Speaking of fast forwarding through the commercials, how long do you suppose it will be until advertisers figure out a way to make commercials that appear only when fast-forwarding. Suppose, for example, an advertiser inserted into a broadcast a commercial that was so slowed down it would be unintelligible, and that commercial would not appear in the live broadcast. But watch it on tape, hit fast-forward, and the super-slow commercial revs up and appears so that while ...
More About: Commercial , Song

The Best Kind of Popcorn
2008-06-09 17:17:00
My life tends to be inelastic; the more things I try to change, the less my life seems to ultimately change in the long run. If you watched old Tom & Jerry cartoons and ever saw Jerry run under the carpet and create a bump, and then saw Tom press down on the bump, only to have the bump pop up elsewhere, so Tom pressed there, too, and it kept on going like that until you got bored and turned the channel, you know kind of how my life goes. I, too, change the channel a lot. But also, when I press on one part of my life, it just bulges back up somewhere else.Here's an example from my actual life: Way back, when I first decided to get in shape, I switched a lot of my snacking habits, as you have to do. I ate a lot fewer snacks, and when I did eat snacks, I tried to make them slightly-healthier kinds of snacks.I know that sounds silly. A "snack" is about as healthy as "NASCAR" is "interesting" or "Jessica Simpson" can "sing." I make that point periodically to the kids, who will ask s...
More About: Popcorn

My new life-- In Plain Sight
2008-06-09 15:33:00
Are you as pumped up as I am about USA Network's new original series In Plain Sight ? So pumped up that you spend your morning commute pretending to be a character in an upcoming episode, like I did there?You don't have to take it that far to enjoy "In Plain Sight." I'm not usually a fan of crime shows, but this isn't a "crime show" the way you think of it. It's about an agent who works for the Witness Protection Program; she fights crime by helping people give up their old lives and blend into an entirely new identity in a new location -- and they'd better do it right, or they're dead.It's a fascinating premise and the show does it justice; it's a great show-- exciting and interesting and it just drew me in. As you can tell by my Spielbergian work in the video that started this one off.Just watch the show. It's on Sunday nights at 9 central on USA Network. You'll love it.
More About: Life , New Life

The Best Rock Band That Isn't The Beatles or U2 or The White Stripes or The
2008-06-06 15:35:00
I've devoted 6,976 words to helping people understand what "rock and roll" really is this week.But The Best Rock Band That Isn't The Beatles or U2 or The White Stripes or The New Pornographers could have saved me a lot of trouble and typing and carpal tunnel syndrome. (Used to be that "carpal tunnel syndrome" was taking over the world; we were all going to die as civilization crashed around us because people wouldn't be able to function as a result of their hands being twisted into unrecognizable shapes as a result of always having to hit ctrl+alt+del. Why they didn't get "carpal tunnel syndrome" in the 50s is beyond me. It's either that people were tougher then or life was tougher then and we didn't have 10,000 magazines and news channels that needed to turn every little SARS pseudoepidemic into the Next Big Death Thing.)(Nowadays, carpal tunnel syndrome is gone. In its place, we're all going to die of peanut allergies. To fight peanut allergies, our doctor has forbidden us ...
More About: The White Stripes

The Best Rock Band That Isn't The Beatles or U2 or The White Stripes
2008-06-05 22:47:00
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;--Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot,Nor arm, nor face, nor any other partBelonging to a man. O, be some other name!What's in a name? that which we call a roseBy any other name would smell as sweet;So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,Retain that dear perfection which he owesWithout that title:--Romeo, doff thy name;And for that name, which is no part of thee,Take all myself. O, be some other name, The New Pornographers. Doff thy name, and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all of the rock world by storm.I hate to be all crass and commercial here, but I'm going to anyway because while I say I hate to be all crass and commercial I don't really hate it at all; I love it. It's about making money. I'm sorry to say that. Art is about making money. If you want to be an artist and support yourself doing that, you have to make money and to make money people have to buy your stuff. To hav...
More About: Band , Rock , White , The White Stripes , Beatles

Protect your identity -- it's the only one you've got.
2008-06-05 22:41:00
These days, if you don't have good credit, you've got nothing. They check your credit for pretty much every single thing you do. Did you know that when you buy car insurance, they check your credit and your insurance rates are determined in part by your credit score?That's one of the many reasons why it's so important to protect your identity. You don't want to spend the rest of your life having to have Mom and Dad sign for you, and it can be impossible to undo the damage that identity theft causes. Instead of trying to fix the problem, you should prevent the problem with Lifelock. Lifelock is that company you've heard about that offers a $1 million dollar guarantee on their services; they'll keep your identity from being stolen, and if they don't, if they mess up, you get a million bucks to help restore your name.Right now, you can even enroll in the program and get the first 30 days fee, by using the LifeLockPromoCode you can get by clicking that link.
More About: Identity

The Best Rock Band That Isn't The Beatles or U2
2008-06-04 16:04:00
Listen to this song:Yesterday, I was driving home from work and thought about that song, "Seven Nation Army," by The White Stripes, who are The Best Rock Band That Isn't The Beatles or U2, and even without hearing the song, I began humming that beat.I was still humming it three hours later when I went to play basketball with The Boy.(I lost, 48-15, but it wasn't as bad as all that. I was down 31-15 at the end of our 20 minutes, and I declared that the next shot would be worth 17 points -- 18 if it was from beyond the arc. I then missed six consecutive shots and The Boy made one to win 48-15.)"Seven Nation Army" is the only song I know that can withstand The Star Spangled Banner Surefire Annoying Song Cure. I was told about this from a friend of mine. He said if you ever get a song stuck in your head, hum "The Star Spangled Banner" because it has no real melody or catchiness and is hard to hum, so it will drive the other song out of your head without replacing it.Some people talk a...
More About: The Beatles , Rock Band

The Best Candy That Is Basically Just Sugar.
2008-05-26 18:23:00
I'm going to apologize in advance if I get a little mystical and introspective with this nomination. I blame "Myriad Harbor" by The New Pornographers, a song I've been listening to pretty much nonstop since I got the CD last week. So you might find this article most enjoyable if you play that song while you read this:My introspection has a cause. As I sat down to write this, I thought I'll talk up Rock Candy . Then I instantly changed my mind. Before I even typed a letter something popped unbidden into my mind and replaced "Rock Candy" as The Best Candy That Is Basically Just Sugar .I should not be thinking about candy right now. I should not be thinking about eating, since I just finished my lunch and my lunch included a German chocolate brownie thick and rich enough that it could sustain me for weeks. It was the kind of thick and rich brownie that feels heavy when you pick it up, and you know that chewing it is going to be kind of a task, a bit of a chore because it's so thick ...

24 hours and counting
2008-05-25 15:08:00
Still a little more vacation left... back in 24 hours.23 hours 59 minutes 58 seconds.23 hours 59 minutes 57 seconds.23 hours 59 minutes 56 seconds.You take it from there. Or go read a classic TBOE by clicking here.
More About: Hours , Counting

There's only room for one king.
2008-05-25 14:59:00
If you like sneak peeks, now's your chance. I suggest that you take this opportunity. It's worth it.Web Hosting Rating is a new site that will be launching soon. They will, as you'd expect, rate web hosts to help you choose the best one.While the full site's not done yet, there's enough up to be helpful already -- they're just about ready to go, it looks like, with a great deal of helpful information, including the article that drew me there first, one called (naturally) The Best Cheap Web Hosting Company. I found that one while I was looking around for a host for TBOE's new domain name, and from there, went on to the other helpful information at the site.The stuff they gave me helped me a lot, making sure that I had the right information to keep on persuing my dream of being the king of the bloggers. They can do that for you, too. (You won't be king. I won't share. But you can have another dream, if you want.)Web Hosting Rating's going to become one of the premier si...
More About: King , Room

I'll be Back On Monday.
2008-05-24 17:49:00
Still on my holiday weekend, but you can still enjoy Robot Week -- or why not browse through EVERY SINGLE THING EVER DEEMED TO BE THE BEST?
More About: Back , Monday

It's not a choice. Not at all.
2008-05-24 17:39:00
It's Memorial Day, and you know what that means: cookouts, picnics, camping, the start of summer... and people dying in avoidable boating accidents.Just using one set of statistics from one state paints a horrifying contrast with the Memorial Day holiday. Look at Arizona.50% of all fatal boating accidents in Arizona were alcohol related in 2007 and 1/3 of all fatal boating accidents nationwide are alcohol related.Nothing says summer like smashing your boat into a family of four and killing them, right? But even if you don't destroy someone else's life, drunk boating is illegal. So you might avoid a holiday massacre only to end up sitting in jail facing criminal charges.In 2007 Arizona watercraft law enforcement agencies arrested over 350 people who were operating watercraft under the influence (OUI) of alcohol. Operating a boat while impaired is just as dangerous and just as illegal as drinking while driving a car. The legal limit for blood alcohol is .08 in both cases. The penal...
More About: Choice

I'm taking the weekend off, but The Robots Are Not!
2008-05-23 18:37:00
Hey, Besties! I'm taking the weekend off, but the robots from Robot Week are not. So until Monday, enjoy:The Best Robot In MoviesThe Best Robot In TVThe Best Robot In Songand The Best Robot In Literature.Or, if you've read all those, why not check out the fights on My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad? Find out whether killer bees could really beat up a polar bear!
More About: Robots , Weekend , Taking , The Robots

Get Better Sooner.
2008-05-23 18:29:00
Word on the street is the recession is just getting going. With gas prices climbing by the minute, grocery prices going up, and wages not matching them, consumer debt just continues to climb and climb and climb, and it may be a while before things get better. Like, say, until they discover an alternative to fuel.If you'd rather not wait around until geothermal-powered personal aircraft become a reality, then you could deal with your debt in a more productive, and certainly quicker, way: ACA's consumer debt relief programs can offer you way out.ACA is a member of The Association of Settlement Companies. They have a wide variety of programs to reduce and eliminate consumer debt. They have a free e-book available, and their programs can help people who have credit card debt, unsecured loans, even medical bills. One of their clients saved $30,000!They can help you with debt settlement, bankruptcy, credit counseling -- it's not one size fits all, but tailored to your needs and your pe...

Robot Week Day Four: The Best Robot In Movies
2008-05-22 16:08:00
Wouldn't it be a kick to really just dig deep into my geekdom and say IG-88 was The Best Robot in Movies ?IG-88, as nobody but me knows, was the robot that very, very, briefly, appeared in the part of The Empire Strikes Back where they were sending out bounty hunters. IG-88's part was about 1/1,000,000,000 of a second. (To get an idea how short one-one-billionth of a second is, picture one second. Now divide it by a billion. That's right. It's that short.)IG-88's all-too-brief cameo in that movie did not stop there from being 165,000 hits when you Google "IG-88." Wikipedia -- of course-- has an article about the robot, an article in which the "authors" note that the 'droid's "gender" is "masculine programming."God, I hate Wikipedia. Listen, Wikpedidorks. Things do not have "gender." "Gender" is a classification of words associated with a sex trait. Words... words... have "gender." Things have sex. Well, we things do. People who spend all their time editing Wikipedia and arguin...
More About: Week

Robot Week Day Three: The Best Robot on TV
2008-05-21 18:36:00
ROBOT WEEK! continues...I was using the hedge trimmer the other day to swashbuckle my way through the lilac bushes as I did the yardwork. I find yard work to be more enjoyable if I can Errol Flynn-ize it. So I was swooping the hedge trimmer around and cutting branches and I hit the cord, resulting in a flash, a puff of smoke, and the hedge trimmer stopping because I'd cut through most of the extension cord. As I saw that, I said to myself:Danger, Will Robinson.Then I reflected on two things: the fact that most of my home projects involve, at some point, a near-electrocution, and the fact that most people younger than me do not get that reference.I'm not just speculating on that, either. I said Danger, Will Robinson to The Boy once, and he stared at me blankly.Danger, Will Robinson was, as everyone in the world should know, the catchphrase used by Robot in "Lost In Space," a TV show which ranks as one of the greatest artistic achievements of Western Civilization. That's not hyperb...
More About: Week

Robot Week Day Two: The Best Robot In Song
2008-05-20 17:00:00
Robot Week continues! As underrepresented as robots are in literature, they are over-represented in song. The musicians of the world have taken it upon themselves to pick up the slack left by writers and, as a result, we have hundreds of songs about robots from which to choose The Best Robot In Song . Robots have been celebrated in song for, literally, centuries, as demonstrated by this article which clearly shows that Mozart was a robot. They even have a picture:But until science caught up with musicians and actually invented robots, most people weren't aware that pretty much every song ever was about robots. Or so it seems, because when people aren't singing about how much they loved love, they were singing about robots. Or pretending to be robots singing about robots. Or just mentioning robots as the theme. In music, it's all about robots: Clearly, there are many many choices for The Best Robot In Song. That latter one, especially, poses a compelling case. Yet, as powerful as ...
More About: Robot

The Best Book To Read In One Sitting
2008-05-14 21:33:00
On the list of People I'd Like To Meet/People Who Are So Much More Talented Than Me That They Make Me Want to Cry, Nick Hornby ranks very highly.That list is pretty long, by the way. I'm not going to tell you everyone who's on it. But I can no longer carry it around with me. There are a lot of talented people out there, and I'd like to meet most of them.Nick Hornby has written many many books, and I've read most of them except for Fever Pitch, which I would have read but then they made it into a movie starring Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore, and now if I read it I'm going to picture Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore as the characters in the book, and Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore are very high up on the list of People Who Make Me Not Want To Picture Them As Characters In The Book s I'm Read ing.The books I have read by Nick Hornby are "How To Be Good," "About A Boy," "Slam" and "A Long Way Down." Which, as I look over his website, I see amounts to 4 of the 9 books he's writte...