I forgot where I was going with this...I forgot where I was going with this...A humorous perspective on parenting, marriage, geeks, fitness, badly behaving labradors, and vegetables. Where the dog takes Prozac and wifely duties meet the fashion challenges of food stains and bloating. Justice is not sought here, only silence. 
Articles
I know, I know, I KNOW!
2008-05-22 19:28:00 Sorry, I just have not had a moment to myself. I swear I’ll get back to blogging. My wrist is still hurting so typing is really uncomfortable. Hand doctor says he thinks it’s just a very deep bone bruise, however, there is still some concern over the snuffbox area. I go back in two weeks and ... More About: Karate , Hapkido
Whatever Wednesday- My snuff box hurts.
2008-05-14 20:27:00 As I sit here eating a duplex, I mean, duplex cookie from Whole Food s (OMFG have you tasted these things?!), my snuff box is killing me. You’re so dirty. Get your mind out of the gutter. The snuff box is in the wrist. I still don’t know what the deal is with my wrist due to ... More About: Doctors , Wednesday
Mayday! Mayday!
2008-05-13 18:04:00 Got a loose tampon in the purse! I HATE it when I go to pull a pen out of my purse and it turns out to be a tampon. SO embarassing. Almost as bad as my cousin with the panty liner stuck to her phone. Yesterday I go to pull a receipt out of my ... More About: Blogs
ARE YA? KIDDING ME?!
2008-05-13 00:37:00 Went to all the trouble of MAKING AN APPT. with the doctor instead of going to the ER and THEY HAD NO x-ray tech and she said even if they did, it takes 7-10 days to get it read!!!!!!!!! So now I have a splint and drugs but they don’t even know if it’s broken!!!!!!! ... More About: Doctors , Medical , Kidding
It?s a conspiracy?
2008-05-12 18:29:00 Ok, people. Haven’t been here because? Hurts to type. Still hurts to type. Typing s-l-o-w-l-y so as not to move my wrist so much. New advice, people: When black belts try to kick you? RUN AWAY! When black belts built like oxen try to kick you? Run like the wind, Bullseye! So yeah. Kung Fu ... More About: Humor , Karate , Martial Arts , Conspiracy
Follow in my footsteps, people:
2008-05-07 22:00:00 1. Surf the internet 2. See the following headline: Dirtier than a toilet? with a picture of a keyboard. 3. Without clicking on the link, jump up and run to the bathroom for disinfectant, muttering “OH DEAR GOD!” on the way. 4. Thoroughly disinfect keyboard and mouse and anything else in it’s path. 5. Return disinfectant to bathroom, pausing ... More About: Humor , People
Whatever Wednesday- The cloak of invisibility
2008-05-07 04:34:00 We told son #2 it was time for his bath. A short time later he was found trying to hide under an end table. Steve can be somewhat sympathetic, as his own sister followed the “I can’t see you, you can’t see me” philosophy well beyond a rational age. She would wander out of bed, ... More About: Humor , Children , Wednesday
OCD anyone?
2008-05-04 19:31:00 Let me let you in on a little secret. Steve has barely functional OCD. Never try to load a dishwasher near him. Never try to mix colors in the laundry. The man has a problem. Last night? I tortured him. Our babysitter’s name is Rose. I reminded him that Rose was coming today. Apparently her ... More About: Humor , Marriage
Do NOT eat the salt!
2008-05-02 05:12:00 This week’s art lesson consisted of watercolor paintings and using salt for a cool textural effect. I poured the salt into nasty containers from the art room that have had all manner of disgusting things in them. As I passed out the containers I said “DO NOT eat the salt! These containers have had very yucky ... More About: Children , Salt
Whatever Wednesday: In a pinch, I went hockey?
2008-05-01 02:33:00 I just want you all to know I’ve been so busy I haven’t been able to blog or get to comments. I will, I promise! I was able to write this yesterday over the course of the whole day, a sentence at a time and I never did get to publish it! I didn’t even ... More About: Karate , Hockey , Martial Arts , Wednesday , Hapkido
To the dude in the warm, fuzzy crocs (and all dudes who wear crocs):
2008-04-25 05:13:00 Dear Fuzzy Croc Dude , I cannot believe you are wearing those shoes. REALLY? I mean, seriously. Let me take a minute and question your manhood here. You’ve seen the shoes, right? I mean, you looked down when you put them on? You’ve seen them on thousands of little girls, right? RIGHT? Anything found on millions of ... More About: Humor , Life , Crocs , Wear
Whatever Wednesday- Good Heavens!
2008-04-23 21:35:00 Nuthin’ to see here! I didn’t forget! Move along! Whatever Wednesday rules: Answer the question left by the person before you and leave a question for the next person. Play as many times as you wish. Anything goes. And it doesn?t have to be Wednesday to play. First Question: Would you rather all-you-can-eat fat free dessert or ... More About: Good
We?re having creme of angry soup today.
2008-04-23 18:13:00 I thought I would be better today. I thought I would be able to shake it off. And yet? This is me: And this: Oh and this: So um yeah. I’m not better. But? Since I can’t be funny, I give you the internetz. With the glorious search terms people used to get here: white poo in children rabbit on ... More About: Humor , Cats , Blogs , Today , Soup
Sick day. But not like you think.
2008-04-22 22:13:00 Arggg. You know when you’ve come to a point where you’re just so emotionally fried it’s hard to function? Yeah. I’m there. Yesterday after baseball practice, Steve and I finished loading the equipment into the car. I turned around and said “Where’s son #2?” We both turned in a wide circle and there was no son ... More About: Family , Children , Motherhood , Sick
Baseball in a blizzard
2008-04-21 18:47:00 We had our third baseball game of the season on Saturday. And just when I thought all the male managers in the league had gotten used to the idea of me managing a team? I run across a coach that clearly thought I should be home ironing. And barefoot. I watched the expression on his face ... More About: Humor , Children , Seattle , Baseball , Blizzard
HOLY #@$)(*%$!!!!!
2008-04-19 06:04:00 It’s April 18 and we’ve gotten a severe weather alert: THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN SEATTLE HAS ISSUED A HEAVY SNOW WARNING IN EFFECT UNTIL 5 AM. UP TO 7 INCHES OF SNOW WILL FALL TONIGHT… Global warming, my ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More About: Holy
Sideshow Steve
2008-04-17 23:09:00 As most of you know, Steve towers over people at a height of six feet, five inches tall. He’s a big dude. Even by German standards. So I’m sure it will come as no surprise that he was an absolute freak show in China . So much so, that he kept getting stopped all over China ... More About: Humor , Travel , Marriage
Another day, another meme?.
2008-04-17 05:34:00 Beth from Acid Indignation tagged me for a meme. I’m supposed to tell you ten random facts about myself. So here goes, although I must admit that part of me wants to be a smartass and make up a whole bunch of stuff like I have 14 toes and speak the African clicking language. ;D I’ve never had a cavity. Or any ... More About: Meme
Whatever Wednesday
2008-04-16 17:59:00 I’m totally on top of it this morning! I actually even know it’s Wednesday ! HA! Whatever Wednesday rules: Answer the question left by the person before you and leave a question for the next person. Play as many times as you wish. Anything goes. And it doesn?t have to be Wednesday to play. First Question: When young ...
Brotherly love
2008-04-15 18:00:00 Oh it’s on now! Steve’s brother: BRO! I got some sparring gear! Make sure you bring your sparring gear next time you come down. Steve: Ok. Steve’s brother: Oh! And you better make sure you bring a mouthguard. Steve: In that case, you better be sure you get a cup. Sigh. They’re going to beat the hell out of each other. And ... More About: Humor , Family , Love , Martial Arts
It?s called Poto Blockchi in Japanese
2008-04-14 18:01:00 As a martial artist, we’re taught to use whatever weapons are available. Whether that be our fists and feet, or…. something else. This weekend Steve and I were unloading the dishwasher and on either side of it. He began his customary trash talk so I flicked a roundhouse kick out over the dishwasher, (yes we’re ... More About: Humor , Marriage , Karate , Martial Arts , Japanese
Note to self:
2008-04-11 23:06:00 Item # 334,001: When spending a large part of the day wondering why lacy thong feels so uncomfortable, check to make sure it is not inside out. If you were too find such a thing has occured, do not say “Meh. Too much work to turn it right side out. I hope I don’t get ... More About: Humor , Note , Note to Self
Whatever Wednesday goes Thursday
2008-04-10 06:11:00 I am so screwed up with jet lag and exhaustion from single parenting and traveling while Steve’s been in China these last couple of weeks that I completely missed Whatever Wednesday ! Sorry guys! But I remembered before Wednesday was over! How come no one reminded me?!?! I’m shifting the blame to your asses. ;D All ... More About: Thursday
Battle of the trash can?
2008-04-09 18:26:00 My grandmother is very much a daughter of the Great Depression. She raised her children to be pack rats savers too. This is the generation that doesn’t waste or throw anything out. Really, this generation was the early reuse/recycle “green” generation. They haven’t gotten the memo on “disposable.” While I was there, my grandmother kept washing and trying ... More About: Humor , Family , Life , Battle , Trash
HONEY! I?m home!
2008-04-08 18:19:00 Don’t get excited. I got stuff to do today. :) THEN I’ll get around to your comments and blogs. I almost had to throw down with this Continental Airlines employee who tried to take away my carry-on backpack. Everyone else was letting her take their purses and bags and stuff. Because the flight was full and the plane ... More About: Travel , Louisiana , Home , Honey
I hope you are satisfied?
2008-04-03 22:45:00 Steve called from China to inform me that I have been banned in the PRC (People’s Republic of China.) That’s right folks, my blog is now blocked in China. He blames you all and me. FREE TIBET! More About: Blogs , Hope
I feel like I?m newly born!
2008-04-03 22:42:00 Son #1 (fresh from the shower after a day in the mud): Holy Cow! I didn’t realize how dirty I was. I feel like I’m newly born. All fresh and clean! Steve: Just so you know? You were gross when you were born. Son #1: I WAS?!?! Steve: Yeah. You were disgusting as a matter of fact. All ... More About: Humor , Children , Feel
I?m not dead :)
2008-04-03 22:41:00 I’m out of town with no internet access. Went to Louisiana to visit my Grandma. I have some pre- written posts for your perusal. I’ll answer comments when I get back. Hang on, people, I’ll be back soon. More About: Travel , Blogs , Dead
Yes, more pickles.
2008-03-30 19:44:00 The “Yes, pickles.” continues. We had four boys in the back of the car last night cutting up. (Earplugs anyone?) Son #1 yells from the back “Dad, can you marshmellow watermelon weinerschnitzel?” I look at Steve “Marshmellow watermelon weinershcnitzel?” Steve rolls his eye at me and says “What, Son?” Son #1 yells “Can you marshmellow ... More About: Humor , Children , Marriage , Pickles
Yes, pickles.
More articles from this author:2008-03-29 05:53:00 I was reading an entry by Scout’s Honor over at United States of Motherhood the other day. And she was talking about her hearing going. In the last six months, I’ve noticed my hearing is going too. In fact? If there’s background noise, I can’t really make out what people are saying anymore. Anyway, Scout’s Honor ... More About: Humor , Pickles 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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