I forgot where I was going with this...I forgot where I was going with this...A humorous perspective on parenting, marriage, geeks, fitness, badly behaving labradors, and vegetables. Where the dog takes Prozac and wifely duties meet the fashion challenges of food stains and bloating. Justice is not sought here, only silence. 
Articles
Whatever Wednesday
2008-02-27 19:24:00 It’s whatever wednesday again. For those of you playing for the first time, note that you do not have to answer all the questions that came before you. Only the one right before you. And we still play past Wednesday so don’t assume you’re “too late.” Please remember to leave a question for the next ...
The story of the hillbilly tooth and Karma?.
2008-02-26 23:04:00 My children have always been one of the last kids in their classes to lose their teeth. And for some reason, I have complete amnesia about son #1 losing his front teeth. Son #2 is now at the age where all the kids are losing their front teeth. And all the parents are complaining about the ... More About: Humor , Parenting , Children , Story , Motherhood
A lesson on manners?.
2008-02-23 03:33:00 Son #2 is sitting in Steve’s lap when Steve suddenly shoves him off and says “THAT’S RUDE!!” Son #2 says innocently “What?” Steve sternly says ” We DO NOT fart on people!” To which son #2 innocently asks “You tell them first?” More About: Children , Lesson , Manners
Horizontal blogging, better than throwing up?.
2008-02-22 23:21:00 I’m trying something new today. It’s called horizontal blogging. I chose this new style of blogging because laying down is so much better than sitting up. Also because every time I sit up, I get dizzy and want to throw up. I haven’t had the flu since the early 90’s when I was working in ... More About: Humor , Family , Children , Marriage , Doctors
Whatever Wednesday
2008-02-20 20:45:00 Ya’ll, Still SOOOOO sick! You all play by yourselves until I’m better. I’m too sick to cook so you’ll have to eat cereal… Oh wait, that’s the kids I’m thinking of…. Whatever Wednesday rules: Answer the question left by the person before you and leave a question for the next person. Play as many times as you wish. Anything goes. And it doesn’t have to be Wednesday to play. Kickoff Question: Have you ever fainted? Sorry. It’ all I can come up with. Steve passed out on the kitchen floor this morning with this same illness. It’s BAD.
I will be back when I?m no longer dying
2008-02-18 20:40:00 People: The sickness got me. Oh did it get me. Been to the ER already. This is the sickest I’ve been in more than a decade. I’ll be back to answer all your comments when I can sit upright for longer than 15 seconds. Peace, Helen More About: Blogs , Back , Dying
Be Mine?Love, Steve
2008-02-16 04:01:00 Steve came through. AND they were pink…..He really does listen! I love you, Honey! More About: Marriage , Love , Steve , Valentine , Mine
It?s LOOOOOSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
2008-02-15 22:44:00 Do you have magical elves with a magical flippen’ forest in your house too? I’m somewhat suspicious because socks have been disappearing for years. But I long ago resigned myself to the fact that the magical elves who steal one sock and disappear into the magical forest were figments of our imagination. That Narnia does ... More About: Christmas , Humor , Motherhood
As if?
2008-02-15 21:08:00 Ok, for the first time ever, I have to take a post down. Almost as soon as I posted it, I received a comment that made it necessary to remove the post. More About: Humor
The red rose debate?
2008-02-14 20:15:00 Girls, tell me about red roses. Do ya love them or hate them? Dudes, what do you think about red roses? Big sigh here. Guys think that the red rose means love. They’ve been giving them to chicks since junior high and will continue to give them no matter what the girl says. Girls, how ... More About: Marriage , Valentine , Debate , Rose , Red Rose
The Big Bang
2008-02-14 19:46:00 A veritable link orgy…. *Start Copy Here* You do not have to be tagged to play along. This game is simple and so are the rules. 1. Copy from *Start Copy Here* through *End Copy Here* 2. Add your site(s) to the list. Just be sure to post at each site you add. 3. Tag or don?t tag, your choice, ... More About: Blogs , Bang , Big Bang
Whatever Wednesday- Indecent Proposal
2008-02-13 07:55:00 Remember the movie Indecent Proposal ? Where a couple is approached by a millionaire willing to pay a million dollars for one night with the wife? There are people who believe that everyone has a price. And it’s probably true. Look at the reality shows like fear factor. I don’t care how much you paid me, ... More About: Wednesday
I see your bad day and raise you mine?
2008-02-13 04:57:00 Steve called me on the way home to complain about the tough day he’d had. I said “Look Buddy, it wasn’t all kittens and roses here!” To which he said “You don’t even know. You don’t have to hire and fire people and interview them and go to meetings…… It was an exhausting day.” I ... More About: Humor , Children , Motherhood , Mine
An open letter to the kids?
2008-02-13 03:36:00 Dear Children , Can I say how glad I am that you’re both feeling better today? Because now that you’re both upright and vocal, I am just SO pleased. Son #2, I really appreciate the fact that you can now walk over and sneeze and cough on me as opposed to only when I came near you. ... More About: Humor , Kids , Open , The Kids
The war on germs?
2008-02-12 21:22:00 I am wearing a holster. I’m prepared for battle. I got alcohol in a spray bottle in one holster and Purell in the other. I’m enhancing my super powers with 4,000 mg of vitamin C daily. The enemy is invisible to the naked eye. But I know they’re there. Lurking. Trying to get me. The ... More About: Humor , Life , Motherhood , Germs
I am just shocked!
2008-02-12 00:04:00 Wordpress has a cool new feature called summarize more. It summarizes recent stats for search terms. Upon examining mine, I feel like somehow I’m misrepresented…or that I should be disturbed, because? Um, look: Some suprising search term stats: Envy Phone: 1,959 Bathe me rant: 1,050 Naked Cooking: 500 Satanism: 101 Rolfing: 86 Catholic Guilt: 82 Halloween Sex: 67 Smartass: 62 Devil Sex: 58 Tit massage: 55 I have ... More About: Blogs
What the hell is wrong with this picture?
2008-02-11 08:55:00 I take an echo-cardio stress test and am told I’ve got the fitness level of someone much, much younger. I hadn’t even started running before I passed the average for my age. I take the Wii fitness test and I have a fitness age of 65. Someone PULEEZ tell me what’s wrong with this picture?!?! Speaking ... More About: Humor , Picture , Hell , Wrong
Enter: The finger of God?
2008-02-09 04:03:00 So after posting the ten commandments of marriage Moses Steve decided to get all mouthy in the comment section whereby he decided he was going to leave the toilet seat up from now on due to a hokey mathmatical formula he developed. Observe: 1. Let?s do the the math on this people. While I will buy that ... More About: Blogs , Enter , Finger
The Friday Game
2008-02-08 05:10:00 I haven’t been able to blog on Friday s because I am in school on Fridays. ‘Member I said a long time ago that my biggest regret in life was not sticking with my art degree? I decided to start taking art classes again. Consequently, I’m gone all day on Fridays and can’t blog. Actually I’m ... More About: Politics , Humor , Game
The ten commandments of a happy marriage
2008-02-07 18:47:00 Not too long ago I read an article on the ten commandments of a happy marriage, which I found to be sorely lacking in realism once you’ve been married a long time. I wish I could remember where I read that so that you too could mock it’s pure fantasy. I’m convinced it was written ... More About: Humor , Marriage , Happy , Ten Commandments , Commandments
Why my husband is different than your husband?
2008-02-07 06:33:00 Because mine sends me messages that say: Just went pee and received an immediate and stern reminder that lunch included asparagus. More About: Humor , Marriage , Husband
Whatever Wednesday
2008-02-06 20:17:00 I almost forgot it was Wednesday ! (Valley Girl emphasis here: OMG!) I need a nap. Doooode. And so does Hilary Clinton. Girlfriend needs to stop crying in public all the time. There’s no CRYING in the white house. Seriously! Who wants a president who cries all the time?!?! People are gonna bomb the shit ...
Boys?.Sigh??
2008-02-06 20:02:00 Ok, remember the barf bag with the squished bug? I’m driving along yesterday and son #2 says “Here, Mom” all casual and all, and just so you know, if you’re a mother to boys, DO NOT stick out your hand. It’s NEVER good. You don’t even want to know the hideous things these children have ... More About: Humor , Children , Motherhood , Sigh , Boys
It was NOT ?like that?
2008-02-05 18:53:00 I’ve spent most of the last twenty years saying that. I’ve been around since my brother in law was 9. This kid has been a handful since the day he was born. By a year old he would regularly paint his bedroom walls with poop. By the time he was 5, he was cutting kindergarten. ... More About: Humor , Family , Children , Marriage , Motherhood
There?s a bug in my barf?.
2008-02-03 22:38:00 I think I’ve told you before how son #2 has had reflux since birth. He’s been on daily meds his whole life. I’m sure it’s obvious that since he takes medicine twice a day, sometimes we forget a dose. I pay dearly for that. It means that in the next 48 hours, sometime, somewhere, he ... More About: Humor , Children , Motherhood
I?m a fighter not a lover?
2008-02-03 21:27:00 Uh, ya’ll? You should see my face today. I’ve got dark shadows under each eye, the bridge of my nose hurts and my eyes are all swollen. Apparently in sparring class, I WAS NOT PROTECTING MY HEAD! Son #1 was cleared to return to contact sports on Friday so he attended the sparring class. He’s responsible ... More About: Family , Children , Marriage , Karate , Lover
The dentist, the gyno and the dojo?
2008-01-31 19:47:00 Today is going to be the BESTEST EVER. I get to go to the dentist! Now before you go feeling all sorry for me, you might as well know, I’m a freak of nature. Never had a cavity. Neither has Steve. We have good teeth. Nevertheless, STILL. HATE. THE. DENTIST! We used to have ... More About: Humor , Fitness , Doctors , Dojo , Dentist
And the internet search term of the day is?
2008-01-31 16:38:00 Every now and then I glance at the internet search terms bringing people here and laugh my ass off. Then I’ll usually do a whole post on them. But today? Lemme leave you with just the one today….balls hurt after running. LOL! More About: Internet , Blogs , Search , The Internet , Term
I?m sorry, you must be mistaking me for someone else. I?ve already finished
2008-01-31 01:33:00 Ok, ya’ll. I have HAD IT! HAD. IT. Son #1 and I are doing the “I don’t have homework” battle again. Actually he came home, sat at the table and after 30 seconds, yelled DONE! And picked up son #2’s iPod and starting playing games on it. OMFG ya’ll. GAHHHHHHHH! And for two God-Blessed hours ... More About: Parenting , Children , Motherhood , Rant
Whatever Wednesday
More articles from this author:2008-01-30 16:38:00 Ok, Whatever Wednesday last week was too hard because I made you leave me something funny and well, many of you were intimidated by the whole being funny thing. Sigh. I’m really not that hard to please. Float an air biscuit or drop an f bomb innappropriately and I’ll laugh. Trust me. I’m easy. ANYWAY. Focusing on this week. ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
 |
|
 |
