Hammer Uncut Hammer Uncut A humorous look at the world around us. Interviews, reviews, videos, social commentary, rants, raves, and whatever else I decide to talk about. Articles
Kevin Smith’s (Silent Bob) Not So Silent Response to a Fan
2007-08-18 18:28:00 Kevin Smith is a very talented man, and probably best known as Silent Bob in the hilarious movie Clerks, which he also wrote. He is an actor, screen writer, comic book writer and was co-executive producer for the movie Good Will Hunting. Now sit back and enjoy his classy and soon to be classic... More About: Kevin , Response
Do the Rich and Famous Deserve Special Treatment?
2007-05-10 03:50:00 I got into a debate with some folks on a message board today, discussing an article one of them had written about Paris Hilton and her current trials and tribulations. In a nutshell, the writer said that she hates Paris for being beautiful, rich, and famous — especially because she’s... More About: Rich , Treatment , Famous , Special , Treat
Paris Hilton Dries Out in Brazil While Attorneys File Appeal
2007-05-08 15:32:00 Paris Hilton ’s attorneys have filed notice with the court to appeal the 45-day sentence she was given for violating the terms of her probation in a drunk driving case. Hilton told reporters, “I feel that I was treated unfairly and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted and I... More About: Paris Hilton , Brazil , File , Paris
Muslim Mickey Mouse Teaches Terrorists
2007-05-08 03:21:00 Palestinian extremists have kidnapped Mickey Mouse and are forcing him to teach their children to become terrorists. mickey mouse, palestinian, terroristsmickey mouse, palestinian, terroristsShare This More About: Muslim , Terrorists , Terrorist , Error
Some People Haven’t Got the Stomach for Heroin Smuggling
2007-05-07 21:31:00 Here’s a tip for all you drug mules out there. If you suffer from motion sickness on planes, don’t carry the drugs in baggies that you’ve swallowed. Puking up a plastic bag filled with white powder on a plane tends to look a bit suspicious and really is difficult to... More About: People , Stomach , Have , Hero , Smuggling
Google Knows What You’re Thinking… They Think
2007-05-06 02:24:00 The latest step in Google ’s never-ending quest to make finding things on the Internet easier and the results more accurate, is called Google Suggest. Start typing your search and as you type, Google Suggest guesses what you’re typing and offers suggestions in real time. Wow, you say,... More About: Think , King , Know , Thinking
800HP Jeep Races Snowmobile… Across a Lake
2007-05-04 14:34:00 The British show, Top Gear, produces some amazing videos, like the Bugatti Veryon 253 mph top speed run I posted a couple of months ago. Here’s yet another awesome and hard to believe feat of automotive… ummm… boating? Share This More About: Jeep , Across , Races , Mobi , Ross
Comcast Tests Porn on Disney Channel; Reactions are Mixed
2007-05-03 16:48:00 Comcast customers in New Jersey were treated to a brief showing of porn while watching the Disney Channel Tuesday morning around 9:30. Comcast was apparently testing some new programming the way that McDonald’s tests new items before adding them to the menu, like the McRib sandwich. A... More About: Comcast , Test , T Test
Countdown to Mysterious Death of DC Madam; Predict When and Win an iPod
2007-05-02 15:51:00 Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the woman known as the DC Madam , has provided a partial list of her clients to ABC News. So far, she has also revealed the names of two of the over 10,000 names that are on that list, prompting Randall Tobias, director of foreign aid programs at the State Department, to ... More About: Ipod , Death , Mysterious , Down
Hillary Clinton Explains The Long and Short of It
2007-05-01 23:26:00 Following a recent campaign speech, a reporter asked Hill ary Clinton what she thought Barack Obama’s best and worst qualities were. She replied that his worst quality was that he wasn’t black enough and would have a hard time getting the African American vote, and after reflecting for a... More About: Long
Funeral for the ‘N’ Word… and Lots of Other ‘Letter’ Words
2007-04-30 21:55:00 Reverend Wendell Anthony, president of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, says the civil rights group will conduct a mock funeral for the ‘N’ word during their national convention in July. “We are committed to ending hate — word and talk,”... More About: Words , Funeral
Titty Bear Relieves Seat Belt Discomfort
2007-03-09 18:09:01 Personally, I don’t find car shoulder belts uncomfortable or distracting when I’m driving, but I can see how they might be for women, especially women with large breasts. Several companies market shoulder belt pads, but if you want something a little less utilitarian looking, you might like this one. THP Sales is marketing a product called Titty Bear for women that find the shoulder strap of their seat belt causes discomfort when it pushes on their large breasts. If you’d like to order a Titty Bear for yourself or your large breasted wife or girlfriend, you can call the toll-free number in the infommercial, or click here to order from their website. Sorry, my bad, I was distracted by the titties and didn’t pay close attention to the name of the product when I first watched this video. I thought they were saying Titty Bear, but it’s actually Tiddy Bear and you don’t need large tiddys to use one. More About: Seat , Belt , Disco , Fort , Disc
Smoking is Hazardous to Your Health
2007-03-09 06:08:01 This is rather bizarre anti-smoking commercial, but I bet whether you smoke or not, you’ll think twice before you walk out onto a balcony any time soon. More About: Health , Haz , Your , Smoking , King
Man?s Electric Bill is Just Pennies
2007-03-09 00:07:01 An Illinois man is fed up with high electric rates, which he says jumped nearly 200% in one month. To show his displeasure, he’s going to pay his bill in pennies. 52,662 of them. Robert Hancock made arrangements with a local bank to get the coins and mail the money for him, but the postage is going to be a bit steep. In order to make a point, he’s going to spend $50 in postage costs to mail his $526.62 electric bill. I wonder how happy his neighbors will be when their bills go up again next month because the power company passed on the cost of dealing with over 300 pounds of pennies. Source: Associated Press More About: Just , Electric , Penn , Bill
Signs of the Times
2007-03-09 00:07:01 This is a crazy world we live in. Just look at the signs. It’s true, but at least they’re being honest. I understand they named the pitcher’s mound, ‘Boot Hill’. If I had a nickle for every asshole… When will people learn to wear condoms? More About: Time , Signs , Sign , Times , The Times
Eat Mor Indian Chikin
2007-03-08 12:06:01 The award-winning “Eat Mor Chikin” marketing campaign used by fast food chicken chain Chick-fil-A has been extremely successful since 1995, but in a bizarre twist, apparently one of their bovine models took the slogan a bit too seriously. When 48 chickens disappeared over a one-month period in the remote village of West Bengal, India , everyone blamed it on the local dogs. However, when Ajit Ghosh, the owner of the missing chickens, staked out the cow shed — which also serves as the chicken coop — he discovered that his sacred cow was actually the one devouring the chickens alive. Ajit’s brother, Gour Ghosh said, “Instead of the dogs, we watched in horror as the calf, whom we had fondly named Lal, sneak to the coop and grab the little ones with the precision of a jungle cat,” Gour Ghosh, brother, said. According to the district’s veterinarian, the strange behavior is possible in some cases and he believes a lack of vital minerals drove... More About: Indian , Dian
Super New Self-Help Technique
2007-03-07 00:04:02 Staff Sergeant Edmundo Estrada has come up with an unusual way to beat depression and improve self confidence. A soldier recently told Estrada that he was feeling depressed, so the Staff Sergeant suggested a technique that he had used to help other soldiers with excellent results. The technique involves dressing up in a Super man costume and letting Sergeant Estrada perform sexual acts on your little man of steel. Unfortunately the technique didn’t work in this soldier’s case, so he complained to superiors and Sergeant Estrada has been charged with indecent assault. He is scheduled to appear in a military court in April, but remains on active duty. There’s just no pleasing some people and stories like this make me wonder if it’s really worth trying to help anyone these days. Source: Associated Press edmundo, sexual acts, soldier, staff sergeant, superman costumeedmundo, sexual acts, soldier, staff sergeant, superman costume More About: Tech , Technique , Self , Help
$1.8 Million Bugatti Veyron Wrecked
2007-03-07 00:04:02 Just last week I posted a video of the Bugatti Veyron supercar in action, actually taken to it’s top speed of 253 mph by the guys from Top Gear. Today I bring you the sad news of the very first known Veyron accident. Considering they cost in excess of $1.5 million, you really don’t want to wreck one, but this guy did. The accident occurred near Surrey in the UK and the driver was reportedly doing approximately 100 mph on a 40 mph stretch of road. The driver of the car was not the owner, but had rented it for nearly $40,000 a day. The owner reported that he had paid $1.8 million for the car, which is more than the list price. It’s not yet known if the car can be repaired, but a Bugatti spokesman said, ?If it can be repaired, it will be quickly and efficiently. The owner will be looking at a substantial bill.? No shit! Source: The Sun. Photographs courtesy LaurieGriffiths.com. accident, bugatti veyron, crash, wreckedaccident, bugatti veyron, crash, wrecked More About: Lion , Bugatti Veyron , Million
Rollin? Down the Highway Rollin? One
2007-03-06 18:04:01 Let’s suppose for a moment that you’re a drug dealer and you’re driving down the highway with 43 pounds of marijuana in the trunk of your car. C’mon, just pretend. It’ll be fun. Now let’s suppose you’re a real dumbass and you’ve snorted some coke and fired up a big fat one because you’re bored and you’ve been driving for several hours and well… you’re a dumbass. Up ahead, there’s been a nasty accident and two highway patrolmen have parked their cars in each lane of northbound I-95 which has caused a nice big traffic jam. Now, here’s the fun part. Ask yourself, out of all of those cars, which one would you rather crash into? No you can’t stop. You’re a dumbass, remember? You have to pick one because you’re going to crash, I just need to know which one. What? You didn’t pick one of the state trooper’s cars? You’re no fun, but fortunately 54 year-old Howard R. Fish... More About: Roll , Down , High , Highway
Steven Wilshire, the Human Camera
2007-03-06 06:03:01 This is absolutely astounding. I don’t care whether he only saw the city once in a 45 minute helicopter ride or lived there all of his life, this is still mind blowing. More About: Hire , Steve , Camera , Human , Uman
No Such Thing as Bad Publicity
2007-03-06 00:02:02 Citizens of Kazakhstan have been concerned that comedian Sacha Baron-Cohen’s portrayal of an outrageous TV reporter in the film Borat would have a negative impact, but obviously they don’t understand the first rule of marketing. All publicity is NIIIIICE. Located in Central Asia, Kazakhstan is the world’s ninth largest country, but until recently, tourism hasn’t exactly been one of their more popular resources. Now, thanks to Borat, tourism is booming and in a new poll, thousands of travelers have picked Kazakhstan as their #1 must-see destination for 2007. Although I believe the poll was conducted by a Kazakh company. Thing s must be picking up, because Radison has just opened a new luxury hotel in the northern city of Astana and the national airline, Air Astana, has added a third weekly flight from the UK. Frequent flyers will be happy to hear that passengers are no longer allowed to bring goats and chickens on board in their carry-on luggage. Tourists will... More About: Public , Publicity , City , Such
Doctor Claims Girl Made Him do it
2007-03-05 12:01:01 An 11-year old girl was inline skating near her house when 54 year old Dr. Alexander Dlugi startled her. When the girl attempted to get away from him, he nailed her from behind. The doctor claims that while he was riding his bike on his neighborhood street in 2003, he came up behind then 11-year old Lauren Ellis inline skating. He shouted “watch out” and rang his bicycle bell which startled the girl and when she attempted to move out of his way, accidentally moved left and directly into his path. The two collided and although the girl suffered only minor bruises, the doctor broke his collar bone when he tumbled from his bicycle. Dlugi’s attorney, Thomas Jardim, says the doctor’s injury did not heal properly so he underwent surgery in 2004 and lost a considerable amount of time at work at the clinic that he owned. The doctor now has difficulty sleeping and has lost mobility in his right shoulder and can no longer enjoy sports like swimming, tennis and bicycli... More About: Girl , Made , Claims , Doctor
Wow, Your Mom is Really Hot!
2007-03-05 12:01:01 If you’re going to strip for your boyfriend watching on his webcam, make sure you lock the door. More About: Wow , Your , Real , Really , Ally
Pole Sitting Protest Cut Short
2007-03-03 23:59:01 Fred Gregor, a 45-year old lathe operator from Germany, decided to move into a box he built on top of a pole to protest his pending jail term. He had been convicted of fraud and sentenced to 15 months in prison and apparently in Germany, if you come up with a ridiculous enough form of protest they’ll actually change a court’s ruling. Either that, or he was just a nut. Unfortunately we’ll never know if the protest would have worked, because he only lasted 10 days. He didn’t come down because he got bored (he had installed a radio antenna), and he didn’t run out of food or water, because his wife had been sending it up to him. He came down because his libido got the best of him after his wife sent up a topless photo of herself in his lunch box. It’s a damn shame too, because I’m sure that living in a tiny box on top of a pole with no plumbing, heating or air conditioning would have been far better than living in a tiny cell in a prison. Sour... More About: Protest , Test , Short , Pole , Prot
Saddam Hussein Resurrected
2007-03-03 23:59:01 As unbelievable as it seems, Saddam Hussein is alive. Our government attempted to cover the incident up, but somehow this amazing video surfaced earlier today. The coincidence is amazing, but could this have anything to do with the discovery of the tomb containing the remains of Jesus Christ which proves that he was never actually resurrected? Is it possible that Hussein was resurrected as some sort of sign? Be warned, the video is shocking. alive, resurrected, saddam husseinalive, resurrected, saddam hussein More About: Rect
Columnist Ann Coulter a Homophobe
2007-03-03 23:59:01 Controversial columnist Ann Coulter called John Edwards a ‘faggot’ during a speech at the 34th annual Conservative Political Action Conference and the audience laughed. I’m all for free speech, but I don’t care if you’re Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, straight or gay, white or black, American or European, this should piss you off, because it’s just plain wrong. Instead of nervously laughing the audience should have booed, or at the very least kept silent. The thing that strikes me funny about her homophobic comments (this isn’t the first time) is that I’ve always pegged her as a lesbian or maybe even a tranny. ann coulter, faggot, john edwardsann coulter, faggot, john edwards More About: Column
Sex, Drugs and Rock ?n Roll
2007-03-02 11:57:01 The three go together like a man, a woman and a can of whip cream. Scantily clad strippers and porn stars are almost a requirement in rock ‘n roll videos and now we have another rock/porn marriage made in… well, wherever those kinds of marriages are performed. Vivid Entertainment has teamed up with Schecter Guitars to bring musicians the hottest thing in guitars since Jimi Hendrix set his on fire. Shecter’s new guitar line is expected to be available in March and the first two guitars in the series portray the likenesses of Vivid stars Briana Banks and Stefani Morgan. The guitars sell for $899 and use Schecter’s Tempest body. Visit Vivid Guitars and order yours now. Briana and Stefani are ready to rock your world. briana banks, jimi hendrix, porn stars, schecter guitars, stefani morgan, tempest, vivid entertainmentbriana banks, jimi hendrix, porn stars, schecter guitars, stefani morgan, tempest, vivid entertainment More About: Drugs , Rock , Rock N Roll , Roll , Rugs
S&M Tool Sales Take Off
2007-02-28 23:55:01 When you’re choosing a name for your shiny new company, you might want to consider how it sounds before you actually incorporate. Too bad the guys that started S&M Tool named the company while they were drunk. This is an actual article from the Green Bay Press Gazette. Posted on Humor-Blogs.com s&m, tools&m, tool More About: Sales , Sale , Take
Breaking Away Cyclist Outruns Cops
2007-02-28 17:54:01 I don’t know why this cyclist is running from the cops, but it’s still fun to watch. FYI, the world record speed for a peddle-powered bicycle is 167 mph. More About: Break , List , Cops , King , Breaking
Two Buddies Having Fun with S&M Tool
More articles from this author:2007-02-28 17:54:01 When you’re choosing a name for your shiny new company, you might want to consider how it sounds before you actually incorporate. Too bad the fishing buddies that started S&M Tool named their company while they were drunk. This is an actual article from the Green Bay Press Gazette. Posted on Humor-Blogs.com More About: Fun , With , Having fun , Ving 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 |
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