Hammer Uncut Hammer Uncut A humorous look at the world around us. Interviews, reviews, videos, social commentary, rants, raves, and whatever else I decide to talk about. Articles
Fun Way to Relieve Boredom
2007-02-02 11:34:01 The next time you’re sitting on a plane and it’s just a bit too quiet and you feel like livening things up a little, make sure that the person sitting next to you is looking at your laptop monitor and then click this link. Click here to relieve boredom. Of course this is just one... More About: Fun , Bored , Edom , Boredom
Aussie Wins Drunk Driving Award
2007-02-01 11:33:02 It was a hard fought contest and the competition was fierce. I assumed the winner would be someone famous like Paris Hilton or Mel Gibson, but the Drunk Driver of the Year award winner is another Aussie… a 54-year old woman from Brisbane. On December 11 of last year the woman was charged with... More About: Driving , War , Award , Ward
Miss USA to Appear in Playboy
2007-02-01 11:33:02 Newly crowned Miss USA, Tara Conner, has emerged from her 31-day stint in rehab like a butterfly from a cocoon, telling People Magazine that “I’m a completely different person out of rehab”. Miss Conner agreed to enter rehab after nearly being stripped (of her title) by Donald... More About: Play , Pear
It?s a Demolition, Man
2007-02-01 11:33:02 Dumb: Boy, this is really exciting. I know it’s not going to be as impressive as the World Trade Center but at least watching this one will be safe. Dumber: Yeah, this is going to be awesome dude. Dumb: Hey, do you think we should figure out which way the wind is blowing just in case? Dumber:... More About: Demo , Demolition
Hammer Uncut Wins Major Award
2007-02-01 11:33:02 I’m still waiting for the leg lamp in the crate marked ‘frajeelay’, but in the meantime, this will have to do. Seriously though, I’m honored to have my blog picked as a Bloggy Award winner, and I scored all 10’s too. I must admit that I’m not crazy about the... More About: War , Ward , Hammer , Uncut
Tell the World on MySpace
2007-01-29 11:32:01 Jonathan Pilkerton has a MySpace page like millions of other people and like most of those people he uses his MySpace page to talk about himself. Unfortunately for his 20-year old brother Michael, he liked to talk about their homegrown marijuana crop and brag about how often they personally tested... More About: World , Myspace , The World , Pace
Paris Hilton Exposed? Again
2007-01-26 11:31:01 Considering I always thought that the release of the Paris Hilton video was done with her knowledge the likelihood of her not being involved in some way in this new website seems slim to me, but for only $39.97 you can view everything from her diary entries about Britney Spears, to her black book... More About: Expo , Again
Trevor Holden Father at Age Three
2007-01-26 11:31:01 In an effort to solve a paternity case in Australia, Victoria Legal Aid’s Child Support Services accused a 15 year-old boy named Trevor Hold en of fathering a child in 1994 in a letter sent to the boy. The letter ordered Trevor to either admit that he was the father or send $550 for a DNA ... More About: Father , Three , Fath
438 lb Man to Run In Boston Marathon
2007-01-26 11:31:01 A rather large fellow from Wisconsin plans to lose 100 lbs and run in the Boston Mara thon after only three months training and is chronicling his progress on his blog. So far the well wishers that have posted on his website are slightly outnumbered by the death wishers. All I can say is that...
New Wrestling Hold Controversial
2007-01-23 11:30:01 The U.S. wrestling team has developed a controversial new move that is sure to bring home several gold medals at the next Olympics, if it’s approved. The hold, referred to as the Full Anal Suplex, is difficult to master and one wrestler recently said he now knows what it feels like to give... More About: Wrestling , Controversial , Over , Rest , Hold
Being Horny Illegal in New Zealand
2007-01-23 11:30:01 This billboard featuring Australia’s former Miss Universe Jennifer Hawkins in a lingerie advertisement was banned by New Zeal and airport officials for going a “step too far”. What is this world coming too? More About: Legal , Land , Bein
Muff Diving Bad for Soccer Player
2007-01-23 11:30:01 If you follow soccer — that European game they call football, but only because they use their feet — you know that Marco Borriello, who plays as a striker for AC Milan, failed a drug test in November and was suspended from the team. At the time, he and his smokin’ hot girlfriend,... More About: Soccer , Play , Player , Diving , Ving
Immaculate Chimpanzee Conception
2007-01-23 11:30:01 The male chimpanzees at a sanctuary called Chimp Haven in Louisiana apparently did some monkeying around and got one of the females pregnant. The thing that has the staff stumped is that all seven of the male chimps have had vasectomies. Workers are collecting hair samples from the males for... More About: Mac , Late , Once , Concept , Chimpanzee
No Front-Wheel Drive for BMW
2007-01-23 11:30:01 The text for this BMW advertisement reads, “That’s why we don’t have front-wheel drives.” More About: Drive , Bmw , Front , Wheel , Heel
You will Feel a Little Prick
2007-01-23 11:30:01 The doctor’s unions in Romania are hacked off over a decision to make a doctor pay about $200,000 in damages after he hacked off a patient’s penis. The doctor claims he was under a lot of stress (who isn’t?) and became upset when he accidentally cut the patient’s urinary... More About: Rick , Will , Little , Feel , Litt
Hot New Camera for Voyeurs
2007-01-12 17:27:01 Camero, a company from Israel has developed a camera that can see through solid walls and has raised $20 million from investors to begin manufacturing the cameras. The Xaver800, as the prototype is called, issues an ultrawideband signal and the data is used to create 3D models of anything the... More About: Camera , Voyeurs , Voyeur
The Amazing Animated Browser Thingy
2007-01-11 23:25:01 Here’s a fun little trick. Go to any website with lots of graphics and paste this bit of code into the address bar and hit your ‘enter’ key. The graphics on the page will animate. Try it on a porn site. If you stare at the monitor long enough, you’ll see God, but it turns... More About: Anima , Amazing , Browser , Mate , Animated
You can do Anything with Enough Money
2007-01-11 05:23:01 The current administration has been working hard to shut down Internet porn and online gambling sites by making life rough for the people that run or promote them. In the case of Internet porn, they made revisions to an existing law (2257) and have been telling the public that the purpose of the... More About: Money , With , Enough , Thing , Anything
Alien Cow Abductions Serious Problem
2007-01-05 05:16:01 There is an alarming and insidious problem occurring in the world at this very moment and most of you are blissfully unaware, unless you’re a dairy farmer or sell milking machines. Alien cow abductions are a serious threat and if we don’t find a way to stop it, we’ll all be... More About: Serious , Problem , Abduction
You Park Like An Idiot
2007-01-04 17:15:02 How many times have you seen someone park like an idiot and felt like making sure they knew it? They’re either too lazy to take the time to get their car between the lines like the rest of us, or they think they’re special and they deserve the right to take up two spots but [...] More About: Idiot , Park , Like
Cross Added to Top of White House
2007-01-03 17:14:01 This must be a new change because I’ve not heard or seen anything about it on the news, but apparently the President had the flag which traditionally sat atop the White House replaced with a large cross. christian, cross, washington dc, white housechristian, cross, washington dc, white house More About: White House , Cross , Ross
Hussein Hanged Hoodless
2006-12-30 23:10:01 Saddam Hussein was executed by hanging Saturday at dawn and did not wear a hood. His executioners did though. Fucking pussies. executed, executioners, hanged, hanging, hangs, saddam husseinexecuted, executioners, hanged, hanging, hangs, saddam hussein More About: Hood , Less
Dream Vacation for Sale on Ebay
2006-12-30 11:09:02 A vacation for two is being offered for sale on eBay for less than what it’s actually worth, but there’s a catch. It’s only available to a single woman and she has to agree to go with the guy that is selling the trip. Adam Croot planned a vacation to a resort in Negril, Jamaica so he could propose to his girlfriend. Unfortunately, she dumped him before they could go. Rather than lose his non-refundable flight and hotel deposits, he decided to go anyway and is looking for a lady that is willing to pay $1259 to go on the trip with him. The resort’s rules state that the trip is available to heterosexual couples only (discrimination) so he can’t go alone or take a male friend. Croot does have a few rules and doesn’t intend to go with a woman that is too old or “has a jealous husband”. He must really want to go, because my rules would be a little stricter. The woman would have to be between the ages of 21 and 30, look like Angelina Jolie, a... More About: For Sale , Cat , Vacation , Ebay , Sale
Farting Major Cause of Global Warming
2006-12-28 17:06:02 Al Gore says we’ll all be dead in ten years in his documentary about global warming, An Inconvenient Truth, and although he blames man for the problem, apparently we actually have cows to thank for our pending imminent demise. According to recent studies, cow farts account for one third of the world’s methane emissions. A single cow gives off approximately 400 liters of methane gas in one day and methane is twenty times more harmful to the atmosphere than carbon dioxide, which currently gets most of the bad press. The solution is obvious and will actually accomplish two things. I propose that we find a way to collect the methane from cows and then begin altering new cars to run on methane gas. We’ll reduce our dependence on oil and drastically slow global warming at the same time. Methane would cost about $.10 a gallon and Volvo is already producing a bi-fuel engine that burns methane and uses gasoline as a backup fuel. The five-cylinder 2.4-liter Bi-Fuel engine fo... More About: Global Warming , War , Global , Cause , Fart
Michael Jackson or Phil the Syphilis Sore
2006-12-27 23:05:01 Which one is the better role model? They’re both scary to look at and associated with diseases, but the truth is Phil has the more positive image. A 2002 San Francisco advertising campaign which encouraged men to get tested for syphilis using two cartoon characters, Healthy Penis and Phil the Syphilis Sore, has been called a success by a recent study. One can only guess at which of the two lovable characters was the actual reason for the campaign’s success, but somehow I think that a giant walking puss-filled sore would have been more effective than a goofy Barney-like penis with big round balls and a toothy grin. I haven’t seen the full report, but it appears that the campaign was rated a success based on the fact that 40 to 60 percent of the people that responded to the survey and had been tested for syphilis said they were aware of the ads prior to testing. That’s about as logical as claiming that since the majority of pedophiles have heard of Michael Jack ... More About: Michael Jackson , Jackson
Blowjob Commercial from MasterCard
2006-12-24 11:02:01 Okay, it’s a parody and Master Card didn’t actually produce it, but they should have. Just imagine what would happen if they showed this commercial during the Super Bowl. blowjob, mastercard, super bowl, youtubeblowjob, mastercard, super bowl, youtube More About: Commercial , Comm , Merc
Horny Christian Awarded $5.89 Million
2006-12-20 22:59:01 A former devout Chris t ian from Suffolk England just made nearly $6 million for being over sexed. Stephen Tame, 29, fell from a scaffold while working at a bicycle warehouse and suffered severe head injuries. After awakening from a 2-month coma he found that he had also suffered a severe boost to... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]] More About: War , Lion
Perfect Gift for That Someone Special
2006-12-19 10:57:02 Save this gift for last. You’re lady will love it. For you guys that come up a little short, remember, it’s the thought that counts. Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg singing the soon to be Holiday classic, Dick in a Box. andy samberg, dick in a box, justin timberlake, youtubeandy... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]] More About: Hat , Gift , Special , Perfect , That
Politically Incorrect Word of the Year
2006-12-19 10:57:02 The Gobal Language Monitor, a nonprofit group that studies word usage, has picked the word ‘macaca’ as the most politically incorrect word of the year. Chances are very good that Senator George Allen’s use of the racial epithet ‘macaca’ when referring to a Democratic... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]] More About: Political , Word , Politica , Politically Incorrect , Call
Time to Decrease the Surplus Population
More articles from this author:2006-12-17 22:56:02 ‘Twas a very pleasant 80-degree December in Florida evening last night. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, so I was strolling around my front yard smoking a cigar and admiring my Christmas lights, when what to my wondering eyes should appear? One of my neighbors approaching in his car with something giving luster to his broad face and huge round belly that couldn’t shake like a bowl full of jelly because it was jammed up tight against the steering wheel. As he drove by, I noticed the source of the glow and I laughed when I saw it, in spite of myself. He has a flip down DVD monitor like lots of folks do, but is it installed in line with the front seats to be viewed by rear-seat passengers? Hell no. It’s installed directly behind the moron’s rear view mirror so he can see it. Some states have laws against using cell phones while driving and yet this jolly old elf is watching a movie. I’m not sure if he heard me exclaim as he drove out of si... More About: Pop , Time , Plus , Ease , Surplus 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 |
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