Whistler, The Blog.

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A Haiku for anonymous.
2007-07-14 12:40:00
Anonymous chafed,Is your anus alsoraw too?
More About: Haiku , Anonymous , Anon

Just when you think it's safe to party...
2007-07-14 04:35:00
What in god's name is this shit? it took a moment to recognize this Michael Jackson pirate raver. I'm pretty sure this guy is that mountain bike nerd from Fanatico. What did you say dude? Umm no thanks you can keep the "E", How bout you stop dancing and just adjust my rear derailleur.
More About: Party , Safe

You are now free to post around the blog.
2007-07-14 04:15:00
We made some changes to our blog settings today. One of them was the ability of non registered users to be able to post comments on the blog. So you no longer have to sign up to spray shit. It's a celebration you ugly muthafuckas!
More About: Post , Free , Blog , Round

So Justin Timberlake calls
2007-07-14 02:01:00
Umm ya, I love coming to Whistler you guys. It has always been a safe haven for me, I know I can just go snowboarding and hang out without the paparazzi hounding me day and night. Now I find out there is a Whistler blog thats slamming people and gossiping!. The last thing I need is to go on vacation and end up looking like a douche on some blog. Who do you think you are? Canada's version of Perez Hilton? I will sue the shit out of you if I end up on this site. Was that Vice Whsitler Guide telling the truth? is The Longhorn really the best place to score coke in town?
More About: Justin Timberlake , Timberlake , Calls , Berl , Justin

So mayor Ken Melamed calls
2007-07-14 01:28:00
And he says, Hi there Mr. Baiseur, I'm a little concerned about this Whistler blog you guys are running. You know we are the worlds premiere resort town. With the olympics coming here in 2010 we have been thrust onto the world stage. This blog is like having toilet paper hanging out the back of our Whistler pants or stuck to our Whistler shoe. I will not tolerate this kind of bad press. You have 2 days to remove this site from the Internet.Thank you,
More About: Calls , Mayor , Lame

So Feet Banks calls
2007-07-14 01:04:00
And he's like, uh, ya hey dudes. Listen the whole bloody town is on my ass about this blog of yours. No one believes that it's not me and I'm getting sick of it. To tell you the truth I wish it was me! I live on a farm, a hay farm for christ sake! I could use some excitement in my life. Anyway... Can you please tell everyone that it's not me writing this. Thanks!P.S. If you want me to do any secret writing (and I mean on the super down low) give me a shout. Save me from my mundane hay farming life.
More About: Banks , Calls , Feet

You can't please them all... Or anyone really.
2007-07-13 03:06:00
...And Animal Nation knows this better than anyone. These half baked, Beastie Boy copying, white rappers who happened to open the Trouble show at Garf's last night (not that anyone noticed) decided to send us an email. Woohoo!This is the type of shit we love. These two clown shoes idiots had the audacity to tell us what we should or should not write about and suggested we make shit up to make this blog more appealing to them. YOU'RE FUCKING JOKING RIGHT? This is a blog, on the Internet home of free speech. You choose to read it, I don't force it on you and I can write whatever the fuck I want. I don't come to your joke of a hip hop show and tell you what to rhyme about.I'm going to post the email and email address of these two stupid kids so all my readers can see how fucking retarded they are. Some of the shit they say is totally fucked. The part about "Those whack twins" is totally out of hand and Animal Nation should be punched in the face for even writing terrible shit like...
More About: Lease , Really , Ease , Ally

Not so much Trouble.
2007-07-12 19:41:00
Our favorite shredder turned rock star Trevor Andrew AKA Trouble AKA The TRZA AKA Trev Hollywood, played Garf's last night. To my dismay all of you were on your best behavior! Anyway... It was a great show blah blah blah. Honestly though, they played some new songs and you could hear Trev singing this time.The only thing that was kinda funny was when some girls got on stage (picture below) and suddenly it was like 1992. Are you fucking kidding me? red jeans! and check out the chick in the blue diamond dress WTF? How the hell did all the homely girls in the bar all get on stage at the same time. Nice security!

Summer vacation is here!
2007-07-12 02:21:00
You know summer vacation is in full force when Santa Claus throws the shorts on and heads to Whistler. I know, I'm confused too. First I thought he was real, flying around the world leaving gifts under our trees. Then I'm told he's fake and it's only my mom and dad that put the gifts under the tree. Now I see him in flesh and blood walking through the village. HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS?
More About: Summer , Vacation

Bad tattoo alert!
2007-07-10 22:05:00
Bad tattoo's are the best. If you have photo's of bad tat's please fill my in-box with them.The tattoo pictured above is great. I wonder if this chick designed it herself? Is the treasure chest sitting on rocks with green waves crashing against it or is that grass that looks like crappy waves? And why is there a basketball in the chest? I'm not even gonna mention the spelling of rough...
More About: Tattoo , Alert , Atto

Noooooooooo!
2007-07-10 21:14:00
Young girls, this is why your dad wants to keep you locked in the house until you're 34.

Bring it on Surrey!
2007-07-10 12:17:00
Speaking of turntablism... Word on the street is that Whistlers resident DJ (does he even DJ?) DJ Deadly Cam beat the crap out of some guy from surrey last night. Next long weekend when we get invaded by those idiots just send DJ Deadly Cam out into the village and things will be just peachy. This rumor could also just boil down to DJ Deadly Cam smoking the sherm again and wrestling with a bush near the day lots, thinking it was a guy from Surrey .Check one, two... turn my headphones up!
More About: Bring It On

A letter from a reader.
2007-07-10 11:44:00
We got another email from a reader named "Joe Blow" today but instead of a shady business deal it was some content for the blog. I'm going to post his article here on the blog but in no way does it mean we or I feel this way. I happen to love Whistler so don't go writing me nasty emails, got it?The best part of Mr. Blow's email was his fucking email address. "i-hate-logan-short-too@hotmail.com" Now that made me laugh. I want to stress to all of you out there that we don't hate Logan Short here at Whistler, The Blog. We just chose to make fun of him. Just like we chose to make fun of Andrew and the cybernaut column. Logan is cool, he just needs to shut the fuck up sometimes.Ok now I'll shut the fuck up and get on with "Joe Blow's" article about the town of Whistler and why he hates it.LOVE TO HATE WHISTLER, By Joe BlowFirst of all, let’s get one thing out of the way. Whistler is a town that is owned by a corporation that is owned by an investment firm. Their motto is: “Grea...
More About: Reader , Letter

WTF?
2007-07-09 22:47:00
You know things are getting a little bit weird in the city when ex Whistler resident Tom Shit is seen dressed up like Black Gallagher from Chappelle's Show, playing mini golf with Vince Neil from Motley Crue.

"lets make money and sell t shirts"
2007-07-09 21:03:00
Whistler favorite small man rich boy Brad Baxter is no slouch when it comes to making a quick buck. Brad recently contacted us with a very short to the point email stating "lets make money and sell t shirts " We quickly sent an email back to Mr. Baxter informing him that we had just opened our online store. He replied to our email with a very strange email filled with lots of periods......... Anyway I'm sorry Brad, and this goes for others as well. We can't have any outside business deals going. Not only are we greedy and we want to keep all the profits to ourselves but it would create a situation where things would not be secret anymore and thats just no fun at all. Plus it may lead to blackmail.
More About: Money , Make Money , Shirts , Make , Sell

They finally got her!
2007-07-09 20:26:00
Looks like the RCMP finally took care of that cougar that was giving locals a scare. I don't mind it much if a mature lady hits on me at the bar especially if she's hot. If she's not I treat it the same way I would if a gay dude was hitting on me during gay ski week. I get as many free drink as I can and maybe a few smokes and then I move on. Now it's one thing to be stalking young men at the local bars or the arcade but on the 13th hole of the golf course? This bitch should have known better. Men come to Whistler and pay tons of money to play a nice round of golf with their buddies. The last thing they want is some lady being a weirdo, running around the golf course and watching them from the bushes. Wait at the club house or something next time and you better have some smokes!
More About: Finally , Fina , Ally

Give us your money!
2007-07-09 05:10:00
Our online store is now open! Click this link or the one in the menu on the right to check it out.CLICK HERE!
More About: Money , Give

We love photo submissions!
2007-07-07 23:15:00
Oh boy!A reader named "Dave" sent us this photo. This is the kinda crap we love to get!Now we all know that Whistler loves the coke. But keep in mind people, if you're going to do it don't get so wasted that you forget to wipe your nose before you leave the bathroom.Keep the photo's coming!
More About: Photo , Love , Missi

RSS? What the hell is that?
2007-07-07 06:25:00
Some of you have been asking about this sites RSS feed. Yes of course we have an RSS feed. You can subscribe to it by scrolling all the way down to the bottom of the page and clicking the link that says "Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)"
More About: Hell

Andrew has some balls... Do you?
2007-07-07 05:40:00
Andrew Mitchell of Cybernaut fame (among other things) took the time to leave us a comment. I am being totally honest when I say that I'm glad he did. Now I know that he didn't come up with that silly column name. Anyway, I really liked Andrews comment because he took the time to explain things and didn't just flat out call me a loser and tell me to fuck off. Although he did take some shots at me and this blog but thats fine. The part I like the best but that I thought was the silliest was when he said: "I leave the cheese-eating to the French fuckers - yeah, I Iooked up "baiseur" on a French-English dictionary. Incidentally, did you know that www.lebaiseur.com is a hardcore porn site? And yes, it does have transexual porn." This may just be me but when a bastard blog like this has a person posting under the nickname "Le Baiseur" would you not think that person knows what it means? And pointing out that a website with the same name features transexual porn is not going to shock ...
More About: Balls , Andrew , Ball , Drew , Some

Don't be a pussy.
2007-07-07 01:03:00
Dear readers, please stop sending comments about this blog in the form of email. We welcome all comments, hateful or grateful. But please use the "comments" area at the bottom of each blog post. Sign up for an account and join in the fun it's much better that way and you wont look like a huge pussy by sending us email from your silly anonymous hotmail account. Say what you want, but say it for all of us to hear or see... Whatever.
More About: Puss , Pussy

Pique geek, Cybernaut or cyber not?
2007-07-06 10:11:00
Speaking of writers from the Pique, Andrew Mitchell and his "cybernaut" column deserve a good ol' Whistler, The Blog. bashing.First of all if you really are the cybernaut you claim to be why did you not find us before Mr. Feet Banks? and am I the only one that thinks that cybernaut is the gayest word to ever pass through human lips except maybe Rollerblades? Andrew, do you sit at your computer in a cybernaut suit as you travel through cyberspace searching for dumb shit to write about each week? Now tell me Andrew, does your cybernaut helmet have a hole in the faceplate to stick cheesy's through or do you have to take the helmet off? I have two problems with the cybernaut column, the first is that it just regurgitates crappy information found on crappy tech sites like C|NET (C|NET has to be the worst news site out there). The second is that the author often whines about how he must make careful buying decisions because he does not have the money to be constantly buying new technolo...
More About: Geek , Cyber

Don't get fucked by Transformers, check us out!
2007-07-06 02:28:00
Well I can honestly say that Whistler, The Blog. is now offically Whistlers favorite bastard news source. I was browsing through the new issue of the pique (Thursday July 5th) when I came to the movie review column. I always read the movie reviews, not because I waste my time going to see all the shitty movies that come out. I read it because Feet Banks is the best writer in Whistler and it's always a laugh. Now I was reading along and as I came to the end of the article and I was happy to see this: "And if you want half-truths and gossip on all your LOCAL celebs (and this is kind of scary) go to www.whistlertheblog.blogspot.com. It’s got nothing to do with movies but it’s gossip and it’s local and it’s funny as hell. I don’t know who set it up but he (or she)’s got balls the size of watermelons." Now lets get some shit straight. First, there are no "half truths" printed on this blog. I think Mr. Banks may be trying to protect his friend Chili Thom by writing that. Seco...
More About: Transformers , Check , Transformer , Tran

Stay out of Africa's
2007-07-04 10:37:00
I must say that Tommy Africa's is still the gayest bar in town. Never have I walked into a place populated by so many fucktards and dipshits. Not only do they have a bunch of half baked gogo-ravers dancing up a shit storm beside the DJ booth but it also boasts the most cracked out aussies this side of MoJo's.On the other hand you could run into drunken buffoon and ex whistler resident Brad Wilson on the dance floor with his shirt off yelling some shit about lost boys. But thats as good as it gets.
More About: Stay

Logan Short, short on brains.
2007-07-04 10:12:00
When this kid opens his mouth we all get a little dumber. Why is it that the biggest jackass's always seem to be the ones that swallowed a megaphone. I guess it all goes back to talking loud = tiny IQ. Plus I think he may be gay...
More About: Brains , Short , Logan

Don't hassle the Hoff
2007-06-11 03:04:00
It's been a slow month for news and gossip in town But i'm sure with Camp of Champs starting soon we will have all sorts of juicy crap to talk about.Here's a little nugget for now...You may have seen Garf's manager Mike Hoffbauer driving around town in a new Mercedes Benz roadster. Does he also have a new girl to go along with it? Seems like Mike has been seen with a pretty little blonde girl. Way to go man! there's nothing like the smell of new leather and new ass.
More About: The Hoff , Hass

Chilli's willie, willy nilly!
2007-06-06 01:18:00
Now here's a good one!Rumor has it that art weirdo and TV show host Chili Thom has been having sex parties with three sisters. Yes I said three (3) and yes I mean at the same time. It's not surprising to find out that the sisters are from Squamish.See, thats what happens when you're young and married. You divorce the crazy aussie chick you married and then you go crazy and fuck everyone and their sister.
More About: Willie

Spotting!
2007-05-30 00:51:00
Avid soup drinker and O-Matic team rider Tara Dakides was spotted in Whistler this week. Who knows why she was in town but maybe we can ask Nitro rider Rube Goldberg who was seen with her. Seems like Mr. Goldberg has been on a a bit of a run lately. He has also been seen out and about with another big name female pro rider who's name rhymes with Annie Boulanger.We have heard that Tara will be back in town later in June to teach at the Camp of Champs. We will have to wait until then to see if the relationship between her and Rube will continue.

Gang bang on the set of "Bang Bang"?
2007-05-08 00:07:00
Everyones favorite pro snowboarder turned rock star "The TRZA" has been in town shooting a music video for the single "Bang Bang" off his new album "Trouble"It was reported that there were loads of young half naked girls running around the lobby of the Delta Suites where the video was being shot. I'm not sure what the video will look like when it's finished but since the song is all about Trevors cock, I'm sure it will be sexified. Speaking of shooting stuff. It comes as no shock to hear that the star of our last post "Ashley O" was seen hanging around the set with all the dudes and washed up pro/mega stoner John Sommers.At the same time Randy Ross was in town filming scenes for his new movie "Switch" http://www.switchthemovie.ca starring snowboard industry golden child Chris Brown. What a week for "Bon appetit"!
More About: Gang , Gang Bang , Bang Bang

Nicknames rule!
2007-04-29 23:37:00
Read the Vice guide to Whistler that was handed out during the WSSF. In that special issue they talk about some the great nicknames bestowed on select residents of Whistler.I recently heard of this young lady named... I'll just call her "Ashley O" and she has one of the best nicknames in town. I guess young Ashley went a little cock crazy and sucked off a number of pro snowboarders that hang around "The Mile". From what I heard she had no problem taking a load from each one of them, thus earning her the nickname "Bon Appetit".Bravo!
More About: Nicknames , Ames , Rule , Names