WTFis Comedy BlogWTFis Comedy BlogThe Comedy Blog of insane proportions. WTFis is the official website of official comedian bvllets and his funny shit. Articles
Found!
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Body research is natural for me. I'm always seeking out something. Today I sought out those hard to find Glands. The really hard ones to find in the human body. Aside from some lint, pencil shavings and other unwanted debris, I actually found something! Yes, that's right, I finally found my ...
Physical impossibility = The new Black Plague.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 One problem at a time folks. You heard it now. America is sitting back waiting for the next Black Plague. People just sit there and watch while George W. Bush knits afghans over Baghdad. Fortunately this isn't the real problem. It's the new Black Plague that's the problem. The new Black ... More About: Physical , Ossi , Lack , Possibility
World’s Most Comfortable Underwear for Everyone!
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Have you been dissappointed with the comfort of your underwear? I'm not going to say that I have, but my brother down south could always use some more comfort. Long scraggly hair, real tall, huge balls and connected to myself. Trust me I trust him. Not to change the subject but ... More About: World , Underwear , Everyone , Under , Comfort
French Bread Pizza Burn.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I got a double pack of French Brea d Pizza the other day. I haven't had it in a while so I figured why the good reason (taste) not. I opened the package up and looked everywhere but my mind. Hoping just hoping that the foil coffin of microwave French Bread ... More About: Burn
National Geographic in HD aka NGCHD.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 National Geographic in HD aka NGCHD. I have been getting into it. Quite a bit. It's 3:28 and it's on now. I didn't mean to promote the channel. I'm sorry. Watch out for the commercials on National Geographic in HD aka NGCHD late at night. They target the sleep aid demographic ... More About: National , National Geographic , Graph
Eharmony totally sucks at business.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Eharmony totally sucks at business. They're missing all the other letters in the alphabet. Way to get that market share. I mean, Google must already have GHarm ony, so everything other than that. More About: Business , Sucks , Ally , Sine
Fight Club Represent.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Fight Club is one my my favorite movies. I remember first seeing it when it just came out on DVD. New release style. It wasn't a hard thing to do. The hardest part was walking into Blockbuster. I find the movie immediately in the way only the way a Blockbuster ... More About: Fight , Fight Club , Resent
Rappin’ Rap Scallions.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Music is so hip I started managing acts. I think I have the newest Rap act this side of the street. INTRODUCING THE RAP SCALLIONS!!! They are the new Beatles I swear. Vegetables are the new insects.
Comment Spam.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Lately i've been getting great comment spam. I gotta say that this one wins. Name: rape | IP: 201.26.1.155 rape Pros and cons of rape. This really makes my day to think that some fuck made a spambot that makes comments in my blog about the "Pros and cons of rape." ... More About: Spam , Comment
Rapefruit.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I'm gonna go have forced sex with this Rapefruit. I mean Grapefruit. Oops.
April Fools Greatness.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I didn't really have to think this one out at all, but it was one of the best April Fools things i've ever done. I walked down the hall and took the Eviction posession notice that read "Property of Landlord - US Marshall" off my neighbors door and put it ...
Discovery Channel HD - Planet Earth.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I was watching the Discovery Channel series "Planet Earth ". It's incredible. The desert episode starts out with the Gobi Desert that is frozen most of the year. I thought nice and hard about it and how bad a "Frozen Desert" must be to live in. Then I added an s ... More About: Discovery Channel , Planet Earth
If I ever die.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 If I ever die, I want to make sure that I have a last wish. I have to think my last wish would be this. I would write something in an envelope, seal it and write the instructions on the front. The front would say. "Please read the contents of this ...
Excited to say the least.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I don't know about you guys, but there is nothing I look forward to more than "Shark Week". Nevermind, I take that back. I get really excited about "Giraffe Week". I don't know about you guys, but there is nothing I look forward to more than "Giraffe Week". Nevermind, I ... More About: Excite
Don Imus Suspension from CBS and MSNBC.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Don Imus is a straight haired honkey. Please, please suspend me for that racist comment because we're all turning into total pussies. Oh and by the way I hate those spic salmon nigger lawyer danish jew faggot chilean doctor labrador cracker barrel lesbian dildo rocket scientist over-the-top salt enthusiasts. Seriously. More About: Don Imus , Suspension , MSNBC
Super Soaked Jehovah Killer.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I'm gonna share a story to let you know what kind of person (kid) I was. I think it was 6th grade and I was at my house unsupervised for the first summer ever. It was bliss. Video games, sports, bb guns and no parents. It was a balmy wednesday and ... More About: Super , Killer , Jehovah
Here I am.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I was watching the weather channel and "Rock me like a Hurricane" has now been downgraded to "Rock me like a Tropical Storm". That's good news. That song was dangerous.
Wireless Oceans.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Why don't we make the Ocean a Wireless Hotspot? I am going to be going to Florida soon and I can't be fishing on a sandbar without being able to blog. More About: Oceans
Bad casting.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Today on Spike TV, they had blindfold kickboxing. It is very clever, I must admit that. The only problem is with the cheaters. You can tell when the guys walk around with their face pointed to the sky to try to look out of the bottom of the blindfold. I ... More About: Casting
W.A.S.P.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 W.A.S.P. is musically the equal of George Thorogood and Jesus Christ having a child. A really great concept.
Google is helpful for finding stereotypes.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Ok then. More About: Google , Stereotypes , Googl , Stere
Condoleeza Rice.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I swear to god I just saw Condoleeza Rice at McDonalds. She was taking bites that made the cheeseburger look like an asscrack. She would bite into it and the gap in her teeth put a perfect line of cheeseburger down the middle. I bet eating chicken wings is easy ... More About: Condoleeza Rice , Dole
Police Priority.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Today I realized what is great about America. We have freedoms. Did you know the police have freedoms? Did you know that you sort of do? Did you know that cops have the freedom to pull someone over and take a cellphone call in the middle of asking for license ... More About: Police , Poli , Priority
The Descent.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I don't know which one of you assclowns reccomended to me that I should see the movie "The Descent ". I was looking for something that was a "Decent Modern American Horror movie", and one of you yelped out "The D escent". Next time I won't use the word "Decent" to ask ...
Balls in Ass Theory.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I saw this picture today with a guy who had his balls in his ass. He was bent over and he took his scrot and balls and just popped them in his ass and kept them there. With his 2 eggs in there, it was kind of like some sort ... More About: Theory , Balls , Theo
Fur Hats.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 You know these stupid fucks that wear those fur hats with the sides that fold up and shit? I hate the hats and I hate the people that wear them. There's this guy in front of me on the train and he's got one the size of a motherfucking basketball. ... More About: Hats
Church Learning.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 The only thing I learned at church was how to sleep with my eyes open and my head in a normal position. Please don't tell my Dad. More About: Church , Learning , Earning
Daylight Savings Time Again.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Daylight Savings Time made me lose track of when I know what time it is. That's because it changes. Today I experienced a mindblowing DST realization, again. Fuck its 7:07! God damn it, it's 9:43! God damn it, this is a calculator. The time is 55378008. If you don't get the joke, blow me. More About: Daylight Savings , Daylight , Ving
Overheard in New York. The Nitrogen Chapters.
More articles from this author:0000-00-00 00:00:00 Today I was walking down Lexington and there were tanks of liquid Nitro gen on the sidewalk. I stopped at the corner and touched some of the frost on the outside from the condensation/sublimation of the Nitrogen coming out. I was just kinda flicking it off, killing time for the light ... More About: New York , York , New-York , Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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