WTFis Comedy BlogWTFis Comedy BlogThe Comedy Blog of insane proportions. WTFis is the official website of official comedian bvllets and his funny shit. Articles
My first born.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 When I accidentally get a girl pregnant i'm probably going to freak out. I know this will probably happen at some time. It would be hard to have her have an abortion that would be my fault. I know that it's really her choice. That's why I have prepared myself ... More About: First Born
The guy with the AIDS.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I went to a bar tonight. It's right by my work so it's in gay Manhattan aka Chelsea. It's an Irish bar so the gay is repressed enough to make it seem straight. In the bathroom they have those ads that you look at when you're going to take a ... More About: The A , Aids , The G
Ass writing.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I saw this chick today with those pants that have a slogan across the ass. I'm not really against them because now you have an excuse to be staring at a girls ass, but today I saw something that bothered me. She had these sweatpants on that said "Pink" across ... More About: Writing
Handsfree.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 First off, I hate fuckers who use handsfree adapters for their cellphones. It's just really annoying to me. How do I know who you're talking to? The funniest ones though, are the ones that are actually wired to the cellphone. Nice work on the handsfree guys. I have never, not ... More About: Handsfree
Bluetooth replacement.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I don't have a bluetooth earpiece, so now I talk on the actual phone and just flip everyone off. More About: Bluetooth , Lace
Getting older and talking to your parents.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Getting older and talking to your parents candidly is awesome. Everytime I tell a story now about when I was a kid, my parents realize what kind of kid I really was. Every mystery my mom ever had has now been discovered. Why my friend puked at our all-star little ... More About: Talking , Parents , Parent , Pare
Rosetta Stone for Cats.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Rosetta Stone has to be the most helpful language recognition software that is out there. After years of trying to understand my cat, I finally broke down and bought Rosetta Stone for Meows (Cat) . After a few lessons, I started to understand what my cat was saying, vaguely. He ... More About: Cats , Rosetta , Tone
White House Reform.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I have a great idea for all those who are screaming for White House reform. Basically it's called shooting yourself in the face. If you shoot yourself in the face and die, the White House will change. We will send you emails to let you know the progress when you're ... More About: Reform , Ouse
Are you a slacker mom?
0000-00-00 00:00:00 So I broke down and took the "Are you a slacker mom?" Quiz. I filled it out as best as I could and I even checked "Male" on it. Here is what I got. Your quiz score makes you: Pretty in the City Mom You might have a subscription to both ... More About: Slacker , Lack
Peeing with the door open?
0000-00-00 00:00:00 To this day, I have never seen a woman take a piss with the door open. Funny how that works. More About: Open , Door , The D
Garbage Bags n shit.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Man, I gotta start getting the right size garbage bags for my garbage can in my kitchen. We accidentally got ones that are like almost double the size that it's supposed to be. It flops over the edges and then theres so much left over that I think I can ... More About: Bags , Garbage , Shit
New York City is great.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 New York City is great. You know you can't ever be more than 400 feet from a transexual. What a great feeling from a great town. More About: New York , Great , New York City
New York City Experience.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Just to add to my NYC post, today I realized that I haven't been taking advantage of everything the city has to offer. From now on I will be sticking myself with dirty needles that I find on the street, just to make sure i'm getting the complete "New York ... More About: Experience , New York City , City
Excuses, excuses.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Am I getting older or just getting worse at making excuses? It's hard to tell. More About: Excuses
Monster.com? WTF?
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Who's great idea was it to name a job hiring site Mons ter .com? I'm obviously not saying that they aren't successful but i'm really not seeing the name reflect into a portal for hiring respectable professionals. My boss - We're looking to take on an additional accountant, any idea where we should ...
Ostrich Sized.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I have been going out of my way lately to use the word "Ostracized" just so I can say it incorrectly as "Ostrich Sized". I say it vehemently so when i'm wrong, the person will have no choice but to tell me that i'm saying it wrong. Me - I ...
Lucky?
0000-00-00 00:00:00 If a rabbit gets run over by a car and dies, and you cut its foot off and keep it, is that considered lucky? I don't think it worked for him. How can we guarantee that the rabbits feet on the market are even lucky? Is it the dye? Where ... More About: Lucky , Luck
Real time saver.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I'm thinking of doing something that could be a real time saver for new people I meet. I'm speaking about changing my last name to "Isdrunk", this way everyone knows who and what I am. Talk about a real time saver. Thanks for you time. Bvllets Isdrunk. More About: Time , Real , Real Time
Women’s Suffrage. I love women. I really do.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I love women. I really do. Forget the fact I ate 4 cupcakes in the shape of a cock an hour ago. I love women. I really do. I know this isn't Susan B. Anthony Day, but women's suffrage has happened to an extent. We all know that you're not treated ... More About: Women , Love , Really , Ally
The Deadliest Catch.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I never thought I would like the show the Deadliest Catch . I turned it on once and thought to myself, this is pretty good. The next day comes and i'm like hey I wonder if there is some Deadliest Catch on. Hooked. Consider me Dead and Caught. The show is ... More About: Lies , The D
NYC has its ups and downs.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 NYC has its ups and downs. There are great things about it, but then something can instantly negate it. Example. I was walking down the street and in front of me are 3 very hot women with amazing asses. Tall, slender, hot asses in tight jeans. How can you fuck that ...
American Idol viewership.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 This is kinda self explanatory. Feel free to comment. More About: American Idol , American , Idol
Flying Buttresses.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Flying Butt resses has to be the funniest architectural phrase ever. No, it is. More About: Flying , Tres
Dickbook.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I love this new social networking phenomenon. I really can't get enough of it. I just signed up to Dickbook and I don't have any friends besides my testicles Larry and Barry. If you want to be my friend, please message me on Dickbook. My profile name is "GinormousEnzyteLuvnLOLDongs". Thanks for ...
Just what I needed.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 147 Coronas, 129 Marlboro Lights, Fishing, Golf, unlimited Ocean breeze and a laptop. Just what I needed. What I didn't need is to see what the sun does to people who live in Florida. I know that the sun isn't good for you, but I forgot that the sun will ...
You got all these.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 You got all these hot ass girls singing whatever shit they sing. Most of them are super hot. Shakira is one of them. Too bad everything she sings is crap. Maybe if she sang stuff that wasn't crap I could think of more than just the monster dumps she must ... More About: These
Airports are the best.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Airports are the best. Not the best in any scholarly type of way, but diversity wise. Flying on a plane is not restricted to just the rich, slutty or homosexual anymore. Flying is now a god-given right to all Americans. At least that's what I'm assuming from my last airport ... More About: Airports , Ports
Old people, how long will this go on for?
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I know that you're old. I know that you don't know how to use a cell phone that well. I know you don't turn it on your cell phone most of the time. I know you only have it for emergencies. I know it's the cheapest one they make and ... More About: People , Long
Great News!
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Instead of cops having police batons in Union Square, they now have shillelaghs. Hopefully protestors won't be so uppity anymore. More About: News , Great
Park time!
More articles from this author:0000-00-00 00:00:00 Nothing like the park for tennis and hot Moms. If you're looking to score with a hot Mom, here is what you do. You walk up to her, and look her squarely in the face. Make sure your tennis headband is on straight so you can absorb a punch if need ... More About: Time , Park 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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