WTFis Comedy BlogWTFis Comedy BlogThe Comedy Blog of insane proportions. WTFis is the official website of official comedian bvllets and his funny shit. Articles
Wicked Bathroom Combos.
2007-07-31 00:00:00 As I was taking a shit today, I realized I was short for time so I brushed my teeth while I was on the toilet. It really wasn?t a good idea because I had to get up to get water to rinse out the toothpaste, but it?s the thought that ... More About: Bathroom , Wicked , Comb
Dear Lowenbrau.
2007-07-31 00:00:00 Dear Lowe nbrau, I don?t know where you?re from but I really like the way you look. You have very nice curves and pretty color scheme. I must admit that. I just had to open you. I just had to get inside you and find out for myself what you felt like. ... More About: Owen
Laugh Now Cry Later.
2007-07-31 00:00:00 I just found out that people search for ?Laugh Now Cry Later? on the overture search platform 1294 times a month. That means overall it?s probably closer to 4000 times a month. God help us if people are actually getting these tattoos.
Hair Length.
2007-07-31 00:00:00 My leg hair is a consistent length and the same goes for my arms and shit. Why does it only grow so short? I have a theory that elves or fairies come into my room and cut my arm and leg hair while listening to Debbie Gibson. Is that really so far ... More About: Hair
I Stand Corrected.
2007-07-31 00:00:00 I stand corrected. I was wrong when I walked into your apartment and said: Oh man it reeks like incest in here. I really meant ?incense?. How was I supposed to know your family was so tight? More About: Stand , Rect
Romance Novels.
2007-07-31 00:00:00 It?s hilarious when you see people reading romance novels. Today I saw two women reading the same romance novel on the train. I thought to myself that it was actually pretty sad, but funny. I?m guessing they both wanted a threesome or polygamous arrangement with Fabio. These are novels for a ... More About: Novels , Romance , Romance novels
Clubbing.
2007-07-31 00:00:00 I went out to a club the other day but it felt like more like a softball bat. Do I have the right to complain? More About: Clubbing , Bing
Brooms?
2007-07-31 00:00:00 Why do we still have brooms? Didn?t vacuums take care of that? More About: Broom
Dickhorn.
2007-07-29 00:00:00 ?That girl is probably so tight you need a Dickhorn just to get inside her.? More About: Horn
Blood Sugar Cookies.
2007-07-29 00:00:00 If you?re having trouble with high blood sugar levels, try disabling cookies on your web browser. More About: Sugar , Cookies , Blood , Cookie
Sharp Breakdown.
2007-07-29 00:00:00 I think that eventually I will just lose it. I pretty know exactly when it?s going to be. I?ll be in Duane Reade in 2022, buying razor blades. I made the mistake of buying the Gilette Fusion Power, so now razor blades cost me $14.99 for 4 blades. Let?s figure ... More About: Sharp , Brea
Suprise Birthday.
2007-07-29 00:00:00 How come everyone is all shocked when I ask them if they?re coming to my surprise birthday party? I meant surprise for you. I know you won?t remember. It?s 3 months early. More About: Birthday
Pitbull Fighting.
2007-07-29 00:00:00 I suppose Pitbull fighting wouldn?t be so bad so long as you ate the dog that lost. More About: Fighting
Cleaning Ladies.
2007-07-25 00:00:00 Someone the other day brought up that they had a cleaning lady for their house. I started telling them that I just don?t trust someone in my house but then I instantly realized that it wasn?t the core reason. I think if I had a cleaning lady I would start ... More About: Cleaning , Ladies , Dies , Adie
Fashion Tips.
2007-07-23 00:00:00 So I tend to dress pretty well and i?m into fashion. I read some fashion magazines and pay attention to what?s going on in the fashion world. Some of the stuff for the Spring/Summer collections were very different. Different from itself in alot of ways. However, there were 2 things ... More About: Fashion , Tips , Fash
Harry Potter Spoiler.
2007-07-19 00:00:00 I heard the new Harry Potter book ends with the reader getting a life. More About: Spoiler , Otter
White that shit out.
2007-07-19 00:00:00 Do they have anonymous support groups for people who sniff sharpies? Cause I think they would totally get along with my White -Out sniffers anonymous group. More About: Shit
Sandals ftl.
2007-07-19 00:00:00 Your statements 1. I know you think you have beautiful feet. 2. I know you like to wear flip flops and sandals in public. 3. I know it?s not illegal. My rebuttal 1. A bunion and a shrimp shaped pinky toe do not make a beautiful foot. Besides, beautiful foot is an oxymoron. 2. Shoes really ... More About: Sandals , Sandal
Do’s and Non’t’s.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I heard a new word today. It was spoken by some young black men on the train. I guess it could be ebonics. It was Non't, a clever jamming of two negative logical words into one illogical double negative contraction. "Non't you be takin my ipods." I never knew you could put ...
YouTube Douchebag Petition Guild.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 This can't be just me. Ever watch a YouTube video that is funny or even not funny for 4 seconds and you decide, hey I should give this some time, something might happen. Then, nothing happens. The microsecond that you decide to leave, you log the time of the video ... More About: Youtube , Guild , Petition , Douchebag , Petit
Dogs look like their…
0000-00-00 00:00:00 They always say that Dogs look like their owners. I have found other things to be true. Dogs shit like their owners - This is true but it doesnt translate exactly to both parties shitting. The face when the dog shits is like the owners face when they talk. This is ... More About: Look
Fence Dog is watching you Masturbate.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Thanks to hool for the photograph even though I didn't ask. Thanks hool. More About: Watching , Fence , Mast
Future Subway Directions.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Today while waiting at the 14th Street Station at 14th and 8th, someone asked me for directions to Christopher Street. The correct thing to say was, take this train one stop to West 4th and walk a few blocks North. Instead I turned to him and in my best Russian ... More About: Future , Directions , Subway , Dire , Rect
Desperate Housewives.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Is it me or do these not exist in Brooklyn? More About: Desperate Housewives , Ouse , Rate , Desperate
Unfortunately it’s me.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 My farts smell like dead animals. This is supposed to happen to other people. I hate you Jesus. More About: Nate
Poker anyone?
0000-00-00 00:00:00 I got this friend, and he's gay. I like him cause he gambles. Not like like, but you know what I mean. He's got good stories most of the time cause he's not that whimsical swishy fag type. Our dialog was as follows. Me : So how was Atlantic City? Gay : ... More About: Poker , Poke
Black Ice.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 The term Black Ice is racist as fuck. From now on you should all say "Ice you can't see but it's really there.". Either that or "Watermelon Ice". If you have a good substitute term/phrase for Black Ice, please put it in the comments section. More About: Lack
Cat Poemetry.
0000-00-00 00:00:00 Today my cat told me, That he likes Terra Blue Chips, By eating the whole bag off the table when I was in the bathroom.
Spring / Summer 2007.
More articles from this author:0000-00-00 00:00:00 Well, spring is actually here. I know I forgot to actually bring it up. Sorry about that. With the coming of spring you know that the the newest can't-live-without-hipster-fashion-douche bag accessory is right around the corner. Last year it was Vans slip on shoes and the year before that it was ... More About: Summer , Spring 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
 |
|
 |
