Funny, Naughty, Clean and Blonde Jokes

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Diagonostic Computer......
2007-06-11 09:37:00
A man with a strong muscular pain in his shoulder goes to a pharmacy that announced a computer that was supposed to diagnose anything, all you had to do was give it a urine sample and five bucks.So the man gives it the urine sample and the five bucks, the computer starts making noises and finally prints a paper that says:"You have a small muscular tear up in your shoulder, bathe it with hot salty water, don't make any physical efforts and in a couple of weeks you'll feel better"Later that day, the same man wondered if the computer could be fooled, so he mixed some tap water, some dog crap, urine from his daughter and his wife and finally, he masturbated and added some of his semen to the strange mix.With all this as the urine sample, the man returned to the pharmacy, put the sample and the five bucks in the computer and waited for the analysis to come out.The printed analysis was:"- Your water is not suitable for human consumption, you should buy a purifier.- Your dog has parasite...
More About: Computer

Harley-Davidson
2007-06-10 13:22:00
The inventor of the Harley -Davi dson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven.At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven."Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...."God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"God said, "Ah, yes.""Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:"1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end...
More About: Harley Davidson

Hillarious Military Instructions.......
2007-06-09 11:34:00
"AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY." -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher"WHEN THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND." -US Marine Corps"CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE BOMBS ARE GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND." -U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop."IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU." -Infantry Journal"A SLIPPING GEAR COULD LET YOUR M203 GRENADE LAUNCHER FIRE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU QUITE UNPOPULAR IN WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR UNIT." -Army's magazine of prevention maintenance"IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU JUST BOMBED." -US. Air Force manual"TRY TO LOOK UNIMPORTANT; THE ENEMY MAY BE LOW ON AMMO." -Infantry Journal"TRACERS WORK BOTH WAYS." -U.S. Army Ordnance"FIVE-SECOND FUSES ONLY LAST THREE SECONDS." -Infantry Journal"BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE AFRAID." -David Hackworth"IF YOUR ATTACK IS GOING TOO WELL, YOU'RE WALKING INTO AN AMBUSH." -Infantry Journal"NO COMBAT-READY UNIT HAS EVER PASSED IN...
More About: Military , US Military