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Ron Paul Speaks To Supporters In Attempt To Quell Chaos
2008-02-13 18:22:00 I’m not sure if this will even work. It seems as though they’re too far gone, beyond the realm of even understanding words and sentences. But the mayhem needs to stop, and as I feel I’m somewhat responsible for it, I’m going to do my best to put an end to it before ... More About: Ron Paul , Paul , Chaos , Supporters
Paris Hilton & Lindsay Lohan Get Into Fight At Grammys Party
2008-02-12 20:57:00 The Grammys were largely boring and atrocious, with Amy Winehouse winning three awards thanks to the appropriately named song Rehab and a taped performance that failed to entertain because it wasn’t live and didn’t feature Winehouse melting down on stage in dramatic fashion. USuxxors.com considered covering the event live, but we were too busy ... More About: Paris Hilton , Lindsay Lohan , Party , Fight , Paris
Dolly Parton To Donate Breasts To Fans
2008-02-11 18:42:00 Country music legend and actress Dolly Parton will be donating her famous bosom to various fan conventions over the next month as a thank you to fans, but also as a thank you to the pair itself. My breasts have truly served me well. They’ve supported me throughout the years and have always been the ... More About: Fans , Donate , Breasts
Kirstie Alley Eats Cheeseburger - Hollywood Reacts
2008-02-08 19:56:00 In breaking news from last night, Kirstie Alley was spotted last night eating a cheeseburger from a corner diner by a slew of X-17 and TMZ photographers, who blocked traffic for five minutes while snapping away photographs of the Scientologist actress. One photographer was killed when he squatted in front of a moving car ... More About: Hollywood , Cheeseburger
USuxxors Acquires Exclusive Waterboarding Photo From CIA
2008-02-07 18:23:00 Share This More About: Photo , Exclusive , Waterboarding
Super Tuesday - The Aftermath
2008-02-06 18:37:00 The giant battle between six politicians and their armies of campaign staffers and devoted, obsessed followers ended sometime early Wednesday morning when everyone feel asleep after a completely uninteresting Super Tuesday. The only action came from scattered groups of Ron Paul supporters who continued their animalistic frenzy, slaying and oftentimes devouring supporters of other ... More About: Barack Obama , Hillary Clinton , Cain , Mitt Romney
Today Is Super Tuesday~!
2008-02-05 17:24:00 As the country prepares itself for the long and arduous process of electing someone to run for president in 24 different states today, mass hysteria grips the country. Six politicians fight for survival. Supporters wage war against each other. Bill Clinton eyes up Dennis Kucinich’s really hot wife, threatening to take her ... More About: Barack Obama , Hillary Clinton , John Edwards , Cain , Ron Paul
Fat Joe Offended After Being Called Fat
2008-02-04 18:32:00 The rap industry is in red alert mode as Fat Joe has beef, and for once it’s not attached to a hamburger bun topped with cheese and 20 pounds of grease. Fat Joe is on the warpath after fellow rapper 50 Cent referred to the hefty hip hopper as fat. Yes, even U Suxxors is ...
FCC Sues ABC After Bare Butt Cheeks Cause Death & Rioting
2008-01-28 19:59:00 ABC was hit by a lawsuit today for millions of dollars from the Federal Communications Commission after claims that five year old footage of Dennis Franz’ naked ass caused a sudden weekend surge of violent deaths, suicides, rioting, excessive sexual activity, pick pocketing, pedophilia, and bestiality. “We can’t have that,” said FCC chairman Kevin Martin. The suit ... More About: Death , Cheeks , Bare , Butt
Lou Dobbs Invades Mexico
2008-01-23 17:56:00 Mexico was nearly the site of a bloody battle yesterday when CNN talking head Lou Dobbs parachuted into the country just a few feet away from the border crossing armed to the teeth with ammo, weapons, and two samurai swords strapped to his back. Standing slightly sideways at all times while looking straight ... More About: Mexico
Fred Thompson Drops Out of Presidential Race
2008-01-22 21:34:00 Now on to a thankfully less scandalous news story. Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson has declared he is also withdrawing from the race to the White House just days after fellow candidate John McCain announced he was dropping out. There’s been a back and forth among pundits for quite some time about whether ... More About: Presidential , Race
The Real Britney Spears Sex Tape Finally Released
2008-01-22 19:53:00 To be honest, I didn’t sleep much last night as I continued with the inner struggle to decide whether or not I should release this sex tape that was given to me, but after conversing with the USuxxors staff and much debate, it has been decided to post it on the net. That’s it. ... More About: Britney Spears , Britney , Released , Real , Finally
U Suxxors Receives An Anonymous Tape ?
2008-01-22 00:43:00 I don’t really know how to start this post off subtly so I’m just going to jump into the thick of it. If you were wondering why U Suxxors failed to update on Friday, I was dealing with a matter that has left me in heavy contemplation. Throughout the weekend it’s been on ... More About: Anonymous , Skewed , Anon
Drew Barrymore Found In Amy Winehouse?s Beehive
2008-01-21 19:45:00 For the cleanup crew whose job it was to remove the remains of Amy Winehouse ’s beehive from the hair salon in the slums of Manchester England, where you can pay two dollars and an eight ball to get a relatively clean needle used for your latest piercing with a 50% percent off guarantee for your ... More About: Drew Barrymore , Barrymore , Drew
John McCain Drops Out of Presidential Race
2008-01-21 19:04:00 Supporters of John McCain were saddened to hear today that the Republican presidential candidate will be dropping out of the race to the White House after he finally melted over the weekend. A picture was taken this morning of the new McCain and acquired by USuxxors.com (see right). Analysts following the campaign had ... More About: Presidential , Race , John McCain
Serial Impregnator Loose In Hollywood
2008-01-17 22:08:00 A U Suxxors Special Investigative Report Christina Aguilera. Nicole Richie. Courtney Thorne Smith. David Allan Grier. What do these names have in common? Not much on the surface, except for the fact that over just one weekend all four of these individuals gave birth to sons and daughters. All impregnated ... More About: Hollywood , Serial , Olly
Mitt Romney Nip Slip At Rally
2008-01-16 20:46:00 Mitt Romney may have won Michigan yesterday, but it’s what he may have left behind in the wake of his victory that has people talking throughout the country today. “Romney was getting fired up during a rally early yesterday, and he’s getting fired up and he’s got his shirt untucked and he’s sweating. It was ... More About: Mitt Romney , Rally , Mitt , Slip
Zac Efron Has Appendix, Rest Of Manhood Removed
2008-01-16 20:04:00 High School Musical star Zac Efron was rushed to the hospital the other day to have his appendix removed after collapsing in pain the other day at his home. While there, we are told that Efron had some additional minor surgery. “He told us while under medication that we should just remove the remaining pieces ... More About: Rest
20 Killed In Store Following Britney Spears Strip
2008-01-16 19:23:00 A horrific scene unfolded before stunned onlookers yesterday in Sherman Oaks, CA after Britney Spears stripped naked in a Betsey Johnson store. Bodies were lying everywhere, their faces twisted in a frozen look of sheer fright. 17 were confirmed dead before midnight yesterday as rescue workers poured through the wreckage. Three more ... More About: Store , Strip
Pete Wentz Caught Wearing Ashlee Simpson?s Bikini
2008-01-15 22:15:00 A few days ago The Sun went to press with a story that Pete Wentz would become upset whenever Ashlee Simpson would wear revealing clothing. The article states that Wentz enjoys sewing Ashlee Simpson’s clothes to close up any holes that might show something naughty, like uh, skin we guess. Turns out that ... More About: Bikini , Caught
Naomi Campbell & Hugo Chavez Totally Doing It
2008-01-15 21:18:00 Word out of Venezuela today via carrier pigeon is that Naomi Campbell and Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez are dating. The relationship started a couple months ago when Campbell decided to travel to the country to interview him. For whom, we don’t know. We assume it was for a fashion magazine, which … ... More About: Hugo Chavez
Britney Spears Fails To Get Kids Back, Eats Chicken
2008-01-15 20:19:00 Britney Spears has lost custody of her kids until February after failing to appear in court yesterday for a scheduled hearing. Many expected this outcome, as Spears can never seem to make an appearance in front of a judge for whatever reason. This time, the reason may have been the lack of signs ... More About: Britney Spears , Kids , Britney , Chicken , Back
Pamela Anderson & Rick Salomon Are Getting Married Again
2008-01-15 19:39:00 It’s been a long hard road with many winding and twisting turns, but Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon are expected to get married again for the 63rd time this coming weekend in a quiet ceremony in Las Vegas. “I’m so happy,” Pamela told You Guys Weekly in a recent interview. “I hope it’s just like ... More About: Getting Married
50 Cent, Tyler Perry, Mary J Blige On Steroids
2008-01-14 20:57:00 Some of the biggest names in the music and entertainment industry are seeing their names in the spotlight for a different reason today. Tyler Perry , Wyclef Jean, and surprisingly Mary J Blige are just some of the names coming up in a recent steroid trafficking investigation out of Albany, New York. 50 Cent ’s ... More About: Steroids
Ron Paul Supporters Rioting In New Hampshire
2008-01-14 19:52:00 Ron Paul supporters have been in an uproar since last Tuesday when a New Hampshire clerk mistakenly reported that the unlikely presidential candidate had received zero votes instead of the 31 he actually acquired in that particular district. The woman reports that her and her colleagues have been harassed by Ron Paulians ever since, ... More About: Ron Paul , Supporters
OP Simpson Has His Bail Revoked
2008-01-11 21:23:00 Breaking news this hour as OP Simpson has seen his bail revoked after meeting with witnesses involved in his Las Vegas court case. Whether or not this has to do with another sting operation, his on-going hunt for his ex wife Nicole Green Simpson’s killer, or the validity of his comments about Dos Equis ...
President Wants To Bomb Auschwitz
2008-01-11 20:56:00 President George W Mush made a stop today at Israel’s Holocaust memorial while on his week long tour to try and build a peace plan in the Middle East. Shedding some tears, he was heard telling Secretary of State Condoleezza Lice that the US “should have bombed Auschwitz ” to put an end to the ... More About: President , Bomb
Lucy Hiu Likes To Collect Crap
2008-01-11 18:53:00 No, not crap crap. That would be disgusting. The big story today is that actress Lucy Hiu likes to carry a wooden box around with her and place random objects inside to keep / look at / pray to / eat. “So far today I’ve picked up a pez dispenser, a wooden stick, and John McQane’s ... More About: Crap
Nude Pictures of Pop Star Princess Being Shopped Around
2008-01-10 17:45:00 Britney Speers nude pictures are up for grabs to whoever wants to lay a bid down on them, but no one’s biting. In fact, they’ve barricaded themselves inside their offices behind boarded up windows and doors held tightly in place by nails. “Keep those things away from me!” one gentleman was heard exclaiming while shut ... More About: Pictures , Princess , Star
USuxxors Interviews Penelope Crooz
More articles from this author:2008-01-09 22:40:00 Jack Note:Yesterday was a historic day for U Suxxors as we landed our first ever interview with a celebrity in actress Penelope Crooz. After some blackmailing negotiation, Crooz agreed and sat down with U Suxxors fashion correspondent and celebrity writer Gal Val in a Los Angelos McDonalds. Enjoy! Gal Val: Hello readers of U ... More About: Interviews 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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