Funny Jokes and Amusing StoriesFunny Jokes and Amusing StoriesA collection of funny jokes and amusing stories of everyday life, where you can find English jokes, Tagalog jokes, funny pictures and animation and other funny stuffs. Articles
Not A Blonde
2007-10-04 06:28:00 In a train compartment, there are three men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, "If More About: Blonde
Saving Time
2007-10-04 01:52:00 A western businessman was conducting his Japanese guest around the busy city. Because of traffic congestion they used bus and underground railway. The businessman was proud of his local knowledge of the system, and by clever use of the map and timetable, he got them to their various destinations much quicker than the average tourist could have done. He was particularly proud of one trick: "There, More About: Time , Saving
Computer Heaven vs Computer Hell
2007-10-02 06:31:00 In Computer Heaven : The management is from Intel, The design and construction is done by Apple, The marketing is done by Microsoft, IBM provides the support, Gateway determines the pricing. In Computer Hell : The management is from Apple, Microsoft does design and construction, IBM handles the marketing, The support is from Gateway, Intel sets the price.
Florida or the Moon
2007-10-01 11:55:00 Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Flor ida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ...?" More About: Moon , The Moon
Judas
2007-10-01 01:59:00 Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles and disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug consumption problem all over the earth. After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion that in order to better deal with the problem, that they should try the drugs themselves and then decide on the correct way to proceed. It was therefore decided that a
Nymphomaniac
2007-09-30 20:56:00 The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac". "I see", he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That's not bad", she replied. "How much for all night?" More About: Homa
The Perfect Wife
2007-09-29 23:42:00 A couple had only been married for two weeks the husband, although very much in love, couldn´t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife: - "Honey, I´ll be right back." - "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. - "I´m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I´m going to have a beer." The wife said: - "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door More About: Wife , Perfect
The Hitman
2007-09-28 11:29:00 There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they are getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asks if he can join them. The friends look at each other and then look at the guy and say, "Sure." So they tee off. About two holes into the game, the friends get curious about what the guy does for a living. So they ask him. The stranger tells them he’s a hitman. More About: Hitman
Young Girlfriend
2007-09-28 06:29:00 It has been reported that O.J. Simpson's girlfriend is younger than his daughter. When O.J. first met the woman, he said, "I can't date you. I'm old enough to murder your father." More About: Girlfriend , Young
Erap Joke: Medical Exam
2007-09-26 22:50:00 Erap is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well. His pants, socks and watch follow suit. The nurse, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Erap: " More About: Medical , Joke , Exam , Erap
The Value of a Catholic Education and a Pencil
2007-09-25 12:22:00 Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?" When Mary Margaret didn't stir, Little Johnny, who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret. The More About: Education , Pencil , Duca
Yoga or Whisky
2007-09-23 00:29:00 Why bother to learn yoga when whisky can have the same effect. More About: Yoga , Whisky
Who is Jack Schitt
2007-09-21 23:42:00 The lineage revealed: Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt". Soon you will be able to handle this situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner in law firm, Knee, Deep & Schitt. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced six
Punishment
2007-08-31 02:35:00 A recently deceased man who led a truly wicked life finds he will not be spending eternity where he might have hoped. And he's met at the gates of hell by the devil himself, who walks our poor subject down a long passageway toward his ultimate destiny. On the way, they pass a room where someone is being pelted by stones. "Who is that?" the man asks, shuddering. "That was a swindler," says the More About: Punishment , Unis , Nish
12 Reasons why Swearing is better than Sex
2007-08-20 01:58:00 1. It’s just as much fun by yourself. 2. If you split up with your partner, they won’t spread malicious rumors about the size of your vocabulary. 3. It can be done in public. 4. The cops can’t trace you if you verbally abuse someone – usually. 5. A little one can be just as good as a big one. 6. No one gets jealous if you do it to a lot of people at the same time. 7. You won’t be ridiculed if you More About: Reasons
Death of a Virgin
2007-08-18 10:59:00 Two sisters lived together, and one became quite ill. Her doctor told her she had but a short time to live. She spoke to her sister and said. "Jennie, when I die and you put up a gravestone, I want you to inscribe it just the way I tell you. I want them to put my name on it and underneath: BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN She died shortly thereafter, and Jennie went to the maker of More About: Virgin , Death
Hello Kitty Armband To Punish Thai Police
2007-08-16 01:42:00 Will this pink Hello Kitty armband could really make Thai policemen hinders from misbehaving in their work? Pongpat Chayaphan, acting chief of the Crime Suppression Division in Bangkok, thinks so. Around the world, Hello Kitty is an icon for femininity. But in Thailand, they're using it for as a punishment for misbehaved policemen. The original design was a white one but was redesign after More About: Police , Unis
Miriam vs Erap
2007-08-11 10:03:00 The most intelligent "presidential", Miriam Santiago, has challenged the least intelligent presidential to a televised debate. To make things interesting, Miriam says that every time she asks Erap a question which he cannot answer, Erap has to pay Miriam five pesos. BUT if Erap asks Miriam a question which she cannot answer, Miriam has to give Erap five thousand pesos. Miriam asks the first
25th Anniversary
2007-08-09 12:55:00 A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to screw your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are More About: Anniversary
Mr. Bean's Greatest Performances
2007-07-26 12:21:00 Mr. Bean's greatest performances of his movie carrer life. More About: Performances , Greatest , Perform
Math Genius
2007-07-18 10:41:00 I bet the owners of this test papers are the greatest math geniuses of all time. More About: Math , Genius
Proof That Girls Are Evil
2007-06-21 13:44:00 They say Mathematics is the language of Science. And scientific mathematical calculations are universally correct .I therefore conclude that this is the best proof that girls are evil. More About: Girls , Proof , Evil , That Girl
Funny Hallmark Cards
2007-06-21 02:47:00 They say, "When you care enough to send the very best!". This are messages from funny Hallmark cards. 1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind. 2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life... (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you. 3. As the days go by, I think how More About: Funny , Cards
Rabbit Test
2007-06-18 09:42:00 The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude More About: Test , Rabbi
Six Inches from the Ground
2007-06-16 09:40:00 A small balding man stormed into a local bar and demanded, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got! I'm so pissed I can't even see straight!" The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a DOUBLE. The man swilled down the drink and demanded, "Gimme another ONE!" The bartender pours the drink, but said, "Now, before I give you this, why don't you More About: Ground , The G
Three Nationals Go Hunting
2007-06-15 07:46:00 An American, Italian, and a Polock go hunting. American goes out, when he comes back he got a nice buck. "How'd you do that?" the other two asked. "He said "I followed the tracks and got this buck" Italian goes out comes back with an identical buck and when confronted by the Polock he has the same answer as the American. The Polock goes out, it gets late the other two start worrying, and he More About: Nationals , Hunting , Hunt
The Blind Man and the Waiter
2007-06-13 04:25:00 A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind More About: Blind , Waiter , Wait , Blind Man
Viagra Extra Strength
More articles from this author:2007-06-08 10:18:00 A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny...keep me potent." The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for More About: Xtra 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
 |
|
 |
