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Speeding Ticket
2007-08-19 15:20:00 A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver?s door. ?Is there a problem Officer?? The policeman says, ?Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?? The driver responds, ?I?d give it to you but I don?t have one.? ?You don?t have one?? The man responds, ?I lost ... More About: Speeding , Ticket , Tick
Ice Fishing
2007-08-19 15:18:00 A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice. When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod ... More About: Fishing
Spot the Liberal
2007-08-19 15:15:00 How do you tell the difference between a liberal and a conservative? Easy. Watch a man drowning fifty feet offshore and see what happens. A conservative will throw out 25 feet of rope and shout ?swim for it!? A liberal will toss out 50 feet of rope, drop his own end, then go off to do another ... More About: Liberal , Spot , Libera
True Love Sms Messages
2007-08-19 15:06:00 There are Tulips in my garden,there are Tulips in the park.but nothing is more be beautiful then our two lips meeting in the dark! I dont have the measels, i am not confined to bed, asperin wont help coz i aint my head, i dont have back ache or the flu, its more serious…i am missing ... More About: Love , Messages , True , True Love , Mess
Flirt Sms Messages
2007-08-19 14:59:00 If love is a crime, lock me up, i’m guilty baby!!! Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ? Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that! Are you free for the rest of your life? More About: Messages , Flirt , Mess , Ages
The Bridge
2007-08-18 20:19:00 There was once a bridge which spanned a large river. During most of the day the bridge sat with its length running up and down the river paralleled with the banks, allowing ships to pass thru freely on both sides of the bridge. But at certain times each day, a train would come along and ... More About: Bridge , The Bridge
The Color of Friendship
2007-08-18 20:11:00 Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best. The most important. The most useful. The favorite. More About: Color , Friendship
Unlucky Young Man
2007-08-18 20:01:00 A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” ... More About: Young , Luck
Retired Life Sayings
2007-08-18 15:26:00 Retired Life is the Autumn of Life . Everything old is new again. Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension . I’m so busy now, how did I ever find the time to work 8 hours a day. More About: Tired , Tire
Who Was First?
2007-08-18 14:37:00 One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God??Lord, I have a problem!? ?What?s the problem, Eve?? ?Lord, I know you?ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I?m just not happy.?
Eighty Year Old Virgin
2007-08-18 14:35:00 One day an old lady went to the doctor because she had an itch in her crotch. She told the doctor her problem and he said, ?You have the crabs.? She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty year old virgin. More About: Virgin , Eight , Year
Use It or Lose It
2007-08-18 14:28:00 The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. She was somewhat upset. ?You are a disrespectful pig!? she cried. ?How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children? I?m leaving you! I want a divorce straight away!?
Polish Divorce
2007-08-18 14:26:00 A Poli sh man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer?s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. More About: Divorce , Divo , Polish
Blonde Parents
2007-08-18 03:42:00 Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. More About: Blonde , Parents , Parent , Pare
Hockey
2007-08-17 20:06:00 Three guys from Carolina died and went to hell. Satan went to check on them and saw that they had their shirts off and didn’t mind the heat, so he turned up the heat. He went to check on them again and he saw that they were in their boxers and they still didn’t mind the ... More About: Hockey
Hot Stuff
2007-08-17 08:06:00 Years ago working at the local Taco Bell I had a former employee partying up all Saturday come by the drive thru. He has no table manners and inhales food like the cookie monster. Brent was totally sauced for the weekend, and he’s being a real prick to everyone just because he works there. So ... More About: Stuff , Hot Stuff
Party Girl
2007-08-17 08:04:00 A couple of years ago at a work Christmas party I had more than enough at the hall it was held in but I decided to go clubbing with the others where I insisted on joining in the drinking competition. Of course being female and having drunk too much already I was unable to walk ... More About: Party , Girl
Beer Fart
2007-08-17 08:02:00 One particular night a couple of years ago while Johnny was going to university he’d been out on a big drunk; didn’t get home until really late and had an early class the next day - a lab to be precise. He managed to drag himself out of bed and made it to class. More About: Beer , Fart
Tough Life
2007-08-16 14:47:00 A guy has one arm and decides he doesn’t want to go on with life, not being able to do the things other guys can do with two arms. So, he goes up to the 20th story of a building and is trying to build up the nerve to jump. As he’s standing there a ... More About: Life , Tough
Cute Love Sayings
2007-08-16 04:58:00 Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. Love doesn’t make the world go around. It just makes the ride worthwhile. Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; and working together is success. A house is made of brick and stone… A home is made of love alone. More About: Cute , Love
Anniversary
2007-08-15 16:39:00 On their 25th anniversary, a husband took his wife to dinner. Their teenage daughters said they?d have dessert waiting for them when they returned. After returning home, the couple saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles. There was a note that read: ?Your dessert is in the refrigerator. ... More About: Anniversary
Fry Bread
2007-08-15 16:36:00 The old tribal chairman was on his death bed. He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled the scent of fry-bread wafting into his room. Aaahhhh. . . He loved fry-bread more than anything else in the world. More About: Bread , Brea
Baby Sayings
2007-08-15 10:20:00 Babies are blessings sent from above. Babies are such a nice way to start people. A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on. A Boy is a Joy & A Girl is a Pearl . Babies are Diapers of Doom . More About: Baby
Woman on Fire
2007-08-14 20:16:00 A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took ... More About: Woman , Fire , Man on Fire
Free Travel
2007-08-14 19:24:00 A couple of drinking buddies who are airplane mechanics are in the hangar at JFK New York. It’s fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them says to the other, “Man, have you got anything to drink?” More About: Travel , Free
Cheese Pick Up Lines
2007-08-14 03:57:00 Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven! Are you O.K.? Because heaven’s a long fall from here. Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings. Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven? Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!! More About: Cheese , Pick , Lines
Darkness
2007-08-14 03:48:00 Question : A black dog stands in the middle of an intersecton in a town painted black. None of the street lights are working due to a power failure caused by a storm. A car with two broken headlights drives towards the dog but turns in time to avoid hitting him. How could the driver ... More About: Darkness
Stone Wall
2007-08-14 03:45:00 Question : You want to build a stone wall around your 12′x20′ garden. If the bricks are 6″ high & 6″ wide and 1′ long,. How many bricks will you need to make a wall 6″ wide & 4′ tall ? More About: Stone , Wall , Tone
Pepper Trick
2007-08-13 20:38:00 Effect: Magician has cup with pepper and water. Volunteer puts fingers in water trying to separate the pepper. This will not work. Magician puts fingers in water and the water separates. Supplies: 1- Water 2- Soap 3- Pepper 4- Cup More About: Trick
The Driver
More articles from this author:2007-08-13 20:34:00 Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with a dive tank, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns, but from ... More About: Driver , The D 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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