Ufos8MyCat Ufos8MyCat Unconventional Commentary About Everyday Life
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Don't Forget Your Coat
2007-11-30 04:05:00 I travelled for a business trip this week. It was a bit of a hassle getting there. Many flights were either delayed or cancelled because of weather. None-the-less I managed to make my flight connections and subsequent appointments.When I was scheduled to depart, I arrived at the airport 2 1/2 hours ahead of my flight time. I sat and read a book for a couple of hours. I noticed a woman sitting next to me put on her sweater. I looked down and suddenly realized I had left my coat hanging in the closet at the hotel.At first I thought, "No problem, I will ask my client to stop by the hotel and pick up my coat and ship it to me."I kept reading my book.About 10 minutes later it dawned on me that my keys were in the pocket of that coat. All of the sudden I was f**ked. My car was parked at the airport and every key I needed was in that coat. It was 20 minutes before my flight.I asked myself, "Do I miss the flight, pay for another ticket, hotel, rental car... or do I get on this plane?"I reme...
Blue Dogs
2007-11-30 01:47:00 Remind me the next time I get a dog to find one in blue.My dogs are white and their hair shows up everywhere. I was removing dark socks from the dryer and found them covered with white hair. I have a navy blue bedspread that should really be considered navy and white. Whenever I wear a black shirt my dogs try to jump on me and spread some of their white-hair-doggie-love.Do you think I would be charged with animal cruelty if I dyed them blue? More About: Dogs , Blue , Blue Dogs
Shop Burglars
2007-11-23 18:08:00 The day after the Thanksgiving holiday in the United States is called "Black Friday". It is the day of the year that kicks off the Christmas shopping season.Stores post low prices in newspaper advertisements to draw in shoppers. Everyone knows the stores only have 10 of what they advertise at that price but it doesn't stop women from scheming to get one of those 10.Last night after dinner I saw the scheming for myself. Women hovered over sales ads circling things and coordinating their clocks."We'll get there at 3:30 AM... they open at 4:00 am... you hit isle 2 and I will go to isle 4... pick up two of these and I will grab three of those and we will meet at the registers at 4:45 AM. That will allow us time to make it to the next store by 5:00 AM"I was watching the shop burglars in progress. I envisioned a scene from Mission Impossible where Tom Cruise is rapelling from the ceiling, but in this case it was women dressed in black with shopping bags. More About: Shop
Before Dawn
2007-11-11 05:14:00 I walked outside a few mornings ago with my dogs around 4:45 AM. As I looked at the sky I admired a perfectly clear morning. The moon was spectacular as it sat low in the sky silhouetted against inky blackness with a slight crescent of light shining upon it.As I gazed at the stars I noticed an object above the moon at the 11 o'clock position. It was the same brightness as the moon's crescent and larger than any star in the sky. I was captivated by the sight and thought it must be a plane because of it's size and illumination. But as I stood there and watched, it did not move. The object sat there as if to insist upon it's own recognition.I was curious about what I had seen and I went to an astronomy website which has a feature that allows you to enter your postal code, date and time and it will show you what the sky was like at that moment.The bright object I saw that morning was the planet Saturn. Wow. More About: Dawn
Didn't Get the Memo
2007-10-09 03:33:00 There was an antique air show this weekend near a place where President Bush was speaking. Now I don't particularly care for Bush but one thing is for certain, you cannot fly an airplane near where the President of the United States is appearing, no matter how antique your plane.Apparently four pilots didn't get that memo. So the U.S. Air Force scrambled a few of their not so antique F-16 fighter jets to make sure they got the message.Roger that! More About: Memo
The Fair
2007-10-07 18:03:00 Since I was a child the fair has come to my city each year during the week of my birthday. I have some of the fondest memories of going to the fair with my parents and grandparents. As kids we were so excited when the fair came to town.This year for my birthday I took along my camera. I walked through the fair and photographed the sights. As I looked at the children with eyes so bright I smiled and remembered being their age and how much I had enjoyed it too.I met so many wonderful people at the fair this year, from the families spending time with their children, to the people operating the games of chance, and the folks selling that great fattening fair food. There was a spirit in the air.I laughed as I was photographing the animals in the children's petting zoo. I was taking pictures when a little boy and his father walked up and the child asked his dad, "What is that animal?"... His father looked confused, then looked over to the man selling feed to which he replied, "That is a ... More About: Fair
Strength
2007-09-21 02:12:00 I love NFL football. It is a hard-hitting sport. But despite my (and all other fans) passion for the game, we never want to see a player get seriously hurt.Two weeks ago, during the opening game of the season for the Buffalo Bills, Tight End, Kevin Everett suffered a spinal cord injury while attempting to tackle another player. His injury left him lying on the field unable to move.Doctors explained his injury like this:"Everett suffered a fracture dislocation between the third and fourth cervical vertebra. So there was an injury to the cervical spine and cervical spinal cord. But the spinal cord was intact. There was disc material pushing on the cord and bone was applying pressure as well. "The vertebrae were out of alignment," said team orthopedist Dr. Andrew Cappuccino, who specializes in injuries of the spine. "The vertebrae of the spine line up like box cars of a train. The third cervical vertebra had translocated completely over the front of the fourth cervical vertebra causing...
Heaven Has a Tenor
2007-09-06 22:06:00 The world lost someone special as opera singer Luciano Pavarotti died on September 5, 2007. The Italian son of a baker romanticized our world with his beautifully honeyed voice. He truly was "King of the High C's".I was not exposed to opera music growing up. I heard Luciano Pavarotti for the first time somewhere during my early 20's. It was then that I fell in love with the music he gave life to with such passion and perfection. Luciano was more than an opera singer. He was a giant personality with a genuine smile that made everyone smile too.If I could imagine a king, he would look like Luciano Pavarotti.I will miss knowing Pavarotti is not among us anymore. I shall, however, always take solice each time I listen to the gifts of his music which he has left behind for all of us.Rest in Peace, Maestro! More About: Heaven
Release a Leopard
2007-08-28 06:22:00 Never mess with a mad cat and always remember to roll up your windows. More About: Release , Leopard
Big Bags of Rice
2007-08-26 18:52:00 When I was in the Philippines one of the things I found curious was how big the bags of rice were in the grocery stores. (the other curious things were guys peeing on the street, transvestites, and buying a single cigarette from the one guy who wasn't a transvestite, peeing on the street, or had a pig on his trike.)I was teasing my fiancee' about the size of those rice bags and told her she is going to have a hard time finding rice in that quantity here.You know you love rice when you have a machine dedicated to dispensing it at home. I love pasta but I don't have a machine for it (though I probabaly should). McDonalds in Manila is different than mine. In Manila they have the McRice burger. When I saw it on the menu board I was like McWhat??? You know you are in a country that loves rice when McDonalds makes a burger for you.These are a few of the reasons why I enjoy travelling this world. I love the Philippines and especially the people. They have some very wonderful, curious, a... More About: Bags
Football Season
2007-08-26 01:58:00 It is two weeks away from the start of the NFL football season. I am approaching sixteen Sundays when I get to cheer, yell, scream "what were you thinking?!?" and be a total football fan. I cannot wait. I so enjoy NFL football and watching the Tennessee Titans win or lose. (but when they lose I tend to throw a lot of televisions out the window)No offense to everyone who thinks football is running up and down a field kicking a ball. I guess technically that is football, but it's not my football. My football is slamming, jamming, scheming and hard hits.The trouble is that I always travel abroad during the Christmas and New Year holiday so I try to catch the last games of the season in some foreign country. How do you say in a another language, "Do you have a satellite television?... Wait, do you even have a television?" I am left to either see the final scores in an internet cafe' or breaking into someone's apartment to watch the game in the middle of the night. (Mommy, who is tha... More About: Football , Season
Summer in the South
2007-08-22 02:47:00 It gets very hot in the South ern United States during Summer . A friend of mine sent me this joke and I think it sums it up pretty well. -Thanks MelindaJune 8th:Just moved to the South. Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from the river while lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.June 14th:Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun on the water everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.June 30th:Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.July 10th:The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer than I expected.J...
Breast Question
2007-08-20 04:38:00 My fiancee's seven year old niece asked her mom recently, "When will I get my boobs?" That must be a question every little girl has asked her mom before. I am glad I am not a mother. After researching the subject I came across this from Mike Hardcastle:10 Things You Need to Know About Breast s1. Breasts can start growing as early as age 10 and don't stop until your early 20's.2. Breasts have been overly sexualized in Western culture making them too big a part of a girls physical identity.3. Breasts have a biological purpose - for feeding babies.4. Having a baby changes ones breasts forever, and many women get larger (but much less perky) breasts after pregnancy.5. During puberty breasts can develop rapidly causing discomfort, sensitivity and even stretch marks .6. Larger breasts do not make a girl more feminine, sexier or better.7. Very large breasts can cause back pain and poor posture.8. Bras are more than just underwear, they are necessary to keep your breasts supported and to ... More About: Question
Baby Fish
2007-08-17 23:41:00 I have a fresh water aquarium that I have had for years. I keep mostly Mollies of different colors in it. Today as I was feeding the fish I noticed two new babies. It appears some Mollie mamas gave birth to two little orange children in the past few days. It is the third fish born this year in my aquarium.In all the years I have had this tank, I have never had births until this year. The babies are smaller than your fingernail. I'm happy to see them. It just goes to show you that life goes on in colorful ways. More About: Baby , Fish
Preg(not)
2007-08-13 00:20:00 I had a photo shoot this morning for an upcoming marketing campaign. The client wanted to use regular people as models to convey their message.I was photographing adults, teenagers, and children. I was moving through them pretty quickly because I had about 100 people to photograph in four hours.Positioning them in front of a white backdrop, I photographed each one in three or four different poses and then it was on to the next.A man and woman walked up. The lady began preparing while her husband held her purse. I asked the man, "Would you like to be in the photos with your wife since she is pregnant?", to which the woman replied, "I am not pregnant."I almost dropped the camera.My face flushed red with embarrassment as I apologized to her. She smiled and said, "It's OK."The question came out of my mouth so quickly I was not even thinking that she might not be pregnant. Most large people usually gain weight all over their body. In this case the lady's weight was concentrated in her ...
Unusual Funeral
More articles from this author:2007-08-09 18:44:00 My friend's mother passed away last week and I wanted to go to the funeral to support her during her time of need. I piled my dogs into the backseat of the car and drove 3 1/2 hours to the city where the funeral was to be held.My intention was to stop at a hotel near the funeral home to check in for the night and leave my dogs there while I attended the funeral. I was fairly familiar with the city so I thought for certain there would be a hotel close by. And indeed, there were several... and all charged by the hour. I wasn't about to stay there and I am certain my dogs are cleaner than those beds probably were. So I proceeded to the funeral home with my dogs in tow.When I arrived at the funeral home, I asked one of the funeral directors if he knew of any (respectable) hotels nearby. None were close and there was only half an hour until the funeral began. To top it off, it was 111 degrees (44 C) outside. I asked the funeral director if the funeral home buried dogs? He laughed and s... More About: Funeral 1, 2 |
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