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Pregnant
2008-05-21 18:51:00
Rebecca Woolf is a blogger and author who lives in Los Angeles. I have enjoyed reading her stories. She will definitely make you laugh. These days Rebecca is pregnant and running from homeless people. I smiled when I saw this photo of her. Girlfriend is getting big! Prego seems to fit her and she looks beautiful. Well wishes Rebecca, husband and that every growing family.Visit Rebecca Online:http://girlsgonechild.blogspot.com
More About: Blogger , Pregnant

Whoa!
2008-05-20 18:54:00
I was having a pee at my friend Sharon's apartment when she mistakenly walked into the bathroom. That was the fastest turnaround I've ever seen a girl do. "Uh Sorry!!" Her nine year old daughter asked, "Did you see it?"... Since when did my penis become a tourest attraction?That was such an awkward moment for Sharon and me. We both laughed.
More About: Bathroom , Whoa

Losing a Friend
2008-05-19 03:05:00
The Internet is a cool thing. As a software developer I use it daily for research. Occasionally I will look up a friend. Tell me, why do ex-girlfriends change their name? I looked up a friend the other day and found that he was killed in a car accident. The puzzling thing for me was, "WHAT???". This guy was an Agriculture Pilot... A crop duster... He yanked and banked all day long... and he died by running into the back of a tractor trailor???I have such fond memories of my friend. We shot pool together at 4:00 AM, we replaced every sound effect on my assistant's computer with his country sayings like, "Matt, You Sleep With Sheep". (BTW, it took Matt days to get all of that off his computer). I was the only guy he'd let his young wife take her coat off and reveal her lacy top when we were at a club. One morning he asked, "You want to see what crop dusting is like?"Let's Do It!The soybean plants were whipping the wheels as we flew over the field at 100 miles per hour. We headed st...
More About: Friend

Growing Up
2008-05-10 03:35:00
I've been transferring a lot of old videos. As I watched them I had to laugh. I looked young and had much more hair.I am surprised that anyone took me seriously in those days. It must have been my young man's determination.We've come a long way baby. I am happy to have been that young person in those videos, even with my dire need of a haircut. It reminds me that we are always growing.Like a big beautiful tree, you look your best when you are older.
More About: Growing , Growing Up

Learning to Drive
2008-05-03 16:49:00
"I didn't even use the honk today.""Honey, it's called a horn."This is how the conversation about my fiancee's driving lesson went. At 45 years old, she is taking her first driving lessons.You don't have to drive in the Philippines. Like many countries I have visited, they have great public transporation. As my wife prepares to move to the United States, she asked, "Isn't there places I can walk to?"I said, "Yeah, if you pack a lunch and are prepared for a long hike. Otherwise you are going to need a car."Mr. Ernie, her driving instructor in Manila, is helping her. I asked if she was learning to drive a standard (change the gears) transmission or an automatic. She said automatic.So thank goodness for Mr. Ernie. At least he won't get head trauma from bouncing back and forth as she learns to use the clutch.I guess I will save that future driving lesson for somewhere here in a big vacant parking lot."Uh Dear, we just ran into a light pole."Send me a neck brace and a lot of patien...
More About: Drive , Learning

Exhausted
2008-04-27 05:11:00
What a week I have had. Actually it started last Saturday in Florida. I said to someone at my hotel. "You know, I have been in Florida for two weeks and haven't seen a beach or a bikini."I fixed that.Ft. Myers Beach, Florida - Took a cab because I knew after this escapade I would be in no shape to drive. Para sailed with a big breasted cop. Watched girls hula-hoop in bikinis. Some girl showed me her breasts and to top it off, petted a girl on the leg and said, "Girl, you didn't shave!"... Without missing a beat she pulls down her bikini bottom and says, "No, but I shaved this!". I fell off the chair. Later I almost got arrested. I so should have remembered that big breasted cop's name...Bailed from Doggie Jail - I boarded my dogs at a kennel before I left for Florida. When I have travelled for more than a few days before this, friends have kept my dogs. But this was a public boarding place at my vet's office. It is the equivalent of doggie jail. Not that they don't take good ca...

Should Be a Sin
2008-04-12 20:51:00
I've been in Florida for the past week working on a project for one of my clients. They woefully persuaded me to come down and stay in this sun-drenched place. The weather has been sunny and 85 degrees all week. As I write this blog I am sitting in an empty patio bar at my hotel listening to soul music, drinking a Corona, and watching palm trees sway. Have I died and gone to heaven? If so, heaven has wireless Internet.It should be a sin that I am enjoying this. Shouldn't I be toiling in some florescent-lit cubicle, working for some unappreciative boss, hanging out with unhappy co-workers? I think not.So here's a toast to you. Come and join me on the patio. I'll buy you a beer.
More About: Beer , Working , Patio

That's Not Your Squirrel
2008-04-04 00:35:00
My little female dog had a seizure yesterday. It was her second in 6 months. It really scared me because I didn't know what to do except to comfort her. I took her to the vet yesterday. After she and her brother pooped all over the floor the doctor said, "Well their stool looks good." Great.So my baby girl dog is OK. $200 worth of blood work later the vet said she is fine. She told me dog epilepsy is much like human epilepsy and there is not much you can do.As dad to these dogs, I wish I could help them more than I do.Today I played tug with my baby girl and we fought over her favorite stuffed squirrel. She pulled and pulled and I let her win. She stole it from me and contently took it to her favorite spot and chewed it.I was happy to see her happy.
More About: Squirrel

9 Year Old Matchmakers
2008-04-01 11:17:00
There is a neighborhood kid I adore. She speaks her mind. When I first met her she assumed my girlfriend at the time was my wife. When I told her she wasn't she said, "I would introduce you to my mom but she's too fat for you."Priceless.Little Miss Speaks Her Mind has a new friend. Another 9 year old knucklehead. It happens that the kid and her newly single mom live two doors down from me. Mom is pretty cute. But in no way am I looking for another love life. I had to travel all over this planet to find my current love life.Kids don't want to hear that. The little girl next door said, "Will you marry my mom?" That made me and her mom blush. To top it off the kids wrote in chalk on my doorstep, "I love you! -Sharron"Somebody help me and Sharron with these 9 year old match-making crazy kids! She's recently divorced and I'm trying to get married. That's too much trouble for both of us.
More About: Year

This Time of Year
2008-03-30 10:56:00
What a great time of year. The weather is warmer. Men's college basketball is coming to an end and I am able to see athletes from around the United States play their best games.I am getting married soon. Excited and nervous is the best way to describe my mood.Spring is rebirth and all things new. I enjoy this time of year. I sense the same from those around me.Best wishes to you and your Spring.
More About: Time , Year

Too Many Stories
2008-03-23 01:44:00
I could have posted 5 blogs this week but I didn't have the time. So I will summarize for you.1) Colleague A is an Indian software developer, very nice, polite, and quiet... Colleague B is 62 years old and I am convinced was dropped on his head two too many times. While colleague A was out of the office, Colleague B sent an email from Collegue A's computer (keeping up with this?) to Colleague C (who has also been dropped on his head) that said, "C, I think I am falling in love with you" the response from Colleague C was, "Thank you for your feelings but let's keep this on a professional level". The look on Collegue A's face when he read his email was priceless. Welcome to American sense of humor.2) Colleague B from previous story walks into office and says, "I have advice for you... Never go to Target (a retail store in the US) wearing khaki pants and a red shirt. I was there for an hour with my wife and four people asked me where things were... I told them all Isle 6"3) Watched...
More About: Stories

Cultural Meal
2008-03-12 13:05:00
An Indian colleague invited me to dinner at his home last night. His wife prepared a wonderful meal of traditional Indian dishes as we sat and talked. The meal was lovely and my friend showed me how to eat the food with my fingers.I really enjoyed learning about the different foods, new customs, and the conversations we had over dinner. There is something very nice about sharing a meal between different cultures. It was truly an enjoyable evening.
More About: Cultural , Meal , Indian cuisine

Winter Morning
2008-03-09 05:14:00
"Crunch"That was the sound my footsteps made as I walked through the snow this morning. Everything was covered in white. What a beautiful day.
More About: Winter , Snow , Morning , Walk

Devotion
2008-03-06 14:09:00
I saw this photo, a recently discovered photograph of Helen Keller, which was taken of her with her teacher in 1888. Helen was 8 years old in this photograph.Helen Keller became blind and deaf after an illness when she was 1 1/2 years old. Her teacher, Anne Sullivan, began instructing Helen how to communicate by making symbols in her hand. The first word Helen learned to say was "Doll".Helen went from an angry and frustrated little girl to a world famous author and historian. Anne Sullivan stayed by Helen's side until she died in 1936. Helen would go on to live until 1968.The photograph is a beautiful testiment to love, care and devotion.
More About: Devotion

Get Off My Nuts
2008-02-24 22:54:00
I love pistachios and my dogs have an affection for them too. I was standing in the kitchen doing what bachelors do... eating out of the bag. As I picked out a few pistachios and pulled the shell apart, my dogs were wagging their tails. So I threw them a couple of nuts. That did not satisfy them. It was more tail wagging and looking at me like, "Come on Dad, just one more".100 pistachios later I looked at them and said, "Would you two get off my nuts?!!"
More About: Nuts

Quiet Goodbye
2008-02-23 20:34:00
Last Sunday wasn't supposed to be like that. But it was.I received a phone call from my father. He told me his mother died. I knew that this day was coming but I never wanted it.My grandmother did not feel well in her last months. She had survived this world with the best smile she could give. I knew how much she was hurting. We had an unspoken closeness. After going to breakfast at 8:00 AM that morning, at the nursing home where she lived, she retired to her room to take a nap. She died in her sleep sometime before the nurse checked on her at 10:30 AM.At 89 years old, my grandmother had lived a long and valued life. She grew up in the 1920's. She became a nurse. She was a World War II Royal Canadian Veteran. She married her love and had children. She watched this world grow and invent and change around her. She never changed the values she cherished.I learned so many lessons from her. We shared wonderful laughs. She told so many stories and said to me once, "Never lose your confi...
More About: Goodbye , Quiet

Children's Imagination
2008-02-16 04:47:00
Friday afternoon. What a long week.I took my dogs out for a walk. Two little girls, probably 6 and 7 years old, were playing. They were drawing on leaves from a Magnolia tree, intent in what they were doing.As I watched the dogs I could hear the children's conversation from a distance."Pretend I cooked you dinner and you cooked me breakfast." Later they were reading the "letters" they had written to each other on the leaves.Their imagination was brilliant and it made me smile. I remember when I was their age.At that moment the long week I had melted away.
More About: Imagination

Dance Moves
2008-02-10 21:25:00
I had a fun conversation with my 84 year old grandmother and my mom and dad. It started with me calling my grandmother and chatting with her on the telephone. We were laughing about old stories and I asked her about a recipe she used to cook.She said my mom had the recipes when they moved her into a retirement home. So I conferenced in my mom and dad. It ended up being a four-way conversation full of laughs but no recipe.My grandmother told me how she still dances at the retirement home.It was a priceless conversation. I hope I can dance like her when I am 84.
More About: Dance , Moves

Danger Squirrel
2008-02-02 14:35:00
Not much to blog about this weekend. Nothing too crazy happened during the past week to mention. I am enjoying a relaxing Saturday. The weather has been awful but today is nice. The sky is blue and the air is crisp. It is a beautiful winter day.My dogs were enjoying the weather when I took them out for their morning break. There are a lot of trees in the yard where they play which is home to about a dozen squirrels.My dog's goal in life is to kill any little creature they can catch. Squirrel s fit into that category because they look like rats with fuzzy tails. Luckily, God made each animal have their own form of self-defense. Birds can fly, moles can burrow, and squirrels can climb trees. But I have to say that my dogs have caught each and every one of them at least once. Seeing my dog leap into the air and catch a bird before it could fly away was a feat indeed. Thankfully the creatures my dogs chase usually win this game.This morning as I was sipping my coffee and watching the do...
More About: Danger

Presidental Election
2008-01-27 16:28:00
It's election year for President of the United States. I am thankful George Bush cannot run again. I am still trying to figure out who voted for him in the first place?This year is complicated. We have a black man vs. the wife of a former president. The Republican party has a former POW, a Mormon, and someone else. Personally, I won't vote for Hillary Clinton because I don't trust her. She is an egomaniac and is way too power hungry. I'm done with arrogant presidents.Barak Obama is the person I will vote for. He is educated and articulate. I liked him from the moment he declared his run for the presidency. Whether my fellow Americans will put a black man in office is yet to be seen. I don't have a lot of confidence in my peers considering they voted for a catastrophe called George W. Bush, not once, but twice.Barak Obama is the president we need. He would be the first black president of the United States. I believe he would help us regain our credibility around the world and re...
More About: Election

Dancing Gone Wrong
2008-01-26 14:53:00
Sometimes you can shake it too much.
More About: Dancing , Wrong

Tell Me A Story
2008-01-20 19:10:00
I was chatting with my fiancee' on the phone. It was late and I mentioned that it was past her bedtime. She said, "I'll go to bed if you tell me a story."I said, "The other day I was in my office and heard a scrunching sound. I turned aroud to see my female dog scooting across the floor wiping her butt on my carpet. She was waddling like a duck. I said, "Hey! Have you lost your mind?!? Since when did my carpet become your toilet paper???"My fiancee' laughed and said "Good story! Now I can go to sleep."
More About: Story

Funny Poem
2008-01-18 03:35:00
One of my favorite authors is Shel Silverstein. It's hard to classify Shel as simply an author. He was an author, poet, musician, humorist, and a big kid at heart. He is probably best known for his book, "The Giving Tree."I was reading Shel's book, "Falling Up", and came across this funny poem...We're Out of Paint, So...Let's paint a picture with our food.For red we'll squeeze these cherries.For purple let's splash grape juice on.For blue we'll use blueberries.For black just use some licorice.For brown pour some gravy.For yellow you can dip your brushIn the egg yolk you just gave me.We'll sign our names in applesauceAnd title it "Our Luncheon,"And hang it up for everyoneTo stop...and see...and munch on.The poem made me smile and wish we all recalled our childhood imagination as Shel Silverstein could. I encourage you to buy his books if you have children. Your kids will laugh and you will smile too.Books by Shel Silverstein on Amazon.comFalling UpA Light in the AtticThe Givi...
More About: Funny , Poem

Whaling
2008-01-14 01:54:00
I am not a big fan of Greenpeace. I think some of their tactics are less than noble. But recently a Greenpeace boat stopped a group of Japanese ships from killing whales near Antarctica.Don't get me wrong. I love sushi. But let's respect some of the most majestic creatures in our sea

Sand Art
2008-01-10 00:52:00
A beautiful video sent to me by a friend illustrating the sand art of Ilana Yahav.
More About: Sand

Snap Crackle Pop
2008-01-05 07:33:00
Happy New Year! It has become really cold where I live. The past few days have been -9C. Whenever it gets that cold static electricity seems to follow. Any time you touch a light switch, or whatever unsuspecting thing you may come in contact with, you are certain to get a shock.Yesterday my dogs were laying on the carpet and one of them got up to stretch. All I heard was, "Snap ! Crackle! Rocka-Racka-Rock!". It sounded like a lightening storm going off on my dog.He looked up at me like, "What?", as his hair stood on ends. I shook my head and said to him, "Hey, don't expect me to pet you little four-legged Tesla coil."

PigPen
2007-12-21 04:12:00
Ok, when my dogs smell funky enough that I can smell them (and I smoke) it's time for a bath. They remind me of the Charlie Brown character PigPen.

Ever Get One of These?
2007-12-19 01:46:00
Dear Sir/Madam,I am Mr. Chris S Rhodes; a staff of Alliance & Leicester Commercial BankPlc. I got your contact on Internet and I would like you to consider thecontent of this letter carefully and give me a feedback. There is anunclaimed sum of Fifteen million dollars sitting in my bank. This accountis directly under my supervision. At this moment, I am in the position topresent you as the next of kin to the late account holder, influence theapproval and payment of the fund to you directly or through any of ouraffiliate Payment Offices nearest to your location. Most importantly, youwill be required to endorse the inheritance documents at the PaymentOffice as soon as you are acknowledged as the legal next of kin andbeneficiary to this fund. I am presently negotiating with a good Lawyerwho is capable of handling this task without any risk or legalimplications. As soon as I have your acceptance and support, I shallengage his services fully. I thought that since internet is not a veryrel...

Feeling Like Christmas
2007-12-15 20:04:00
I am listening to Bing Crosby sing "White Christmas ". This Saturday 10 days before Christmas has holiday spirit is in the air.You can sense it by the mood people are in. Yesterday I ran into a lady wearing a necklace that lit up with little Christmas lights. I visited one of my clients and everyone was in a feeling good because it was their last day of work until the new year. There were lots of hugs and well wishes.The weather is cold and crisp now. Traffic is getting heavy with shoppers. Lovers are being lovers and everyone is in a cheerful mood.It is beginning to feel a lot like Christmas.I wish you and yours a very happy, healthy, and warm holiday.
More About: Feeling

Rudolph
2007-12-08 02:37:00
I watched the animated program "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" the other night on television. It was a holiday special created in 1964.It reminded me so much of the child I once was. I remembered believing in Santa Claus. I remembered the love and warmth I felt during Christmas. I remembered a light with colorful filters that uses to cycle around my grandparents Christmas tree.In our modern times Christmas has somehow lost it's meaning. It has become a commercial thing where retailers try to get you to spend all the money you do not have on things you do not need on things you cannot possibly resell two years later for 1/10th the price you paid. Christmas has grown from celebrating the day Christ was born, to presents of walnuts and fruit, to "I want a wagon", to, "I need a video game console and this game and that game and an MP3 player and a...'I'm not sure Santa could keep up with this modern world.It was in Romania a few years ago that I saw the closest thing I have ever seen...