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The Song of Adityaism
2007-11-21 18:21:00
As you already know, I'm trying to found a new religion called Adityaism. It's currently in beta, but I'll let you know when it launches so that you can join! Anyway, I've been working on a theme-song for it, and here it is!The Song of AdityaismWhat is wrong with this world, so sad and angry and blue,On Airtel Customer Care, why is it so difficult to get through?Watching Saas-Bahu serials is like a bad dream,Do I really need to buy men's fairness cream?I have looked everywhere for the meaning of it all,Watched how many movies, I can't even recall!I'm trapped, Life will soon write me an obituary,Even worse, Sachin can't even get a century!But don't you worry, religion 2.0 is here,Embrace Adityaism, it'll drive away all fear!It's great, a ticket to heaven is not conditional,Taking a bath everyday is also optional! Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. Al...

How to pretend to be Smart
2007-11-20 18:08:00
Appearing to be smart is actually more important than being smart itself, because if you are really smart, then you have to do stuff like study Physics and write books. But if you are only pretending to be smart, you get all the benefits, without any of the downside. It's a good deal, trust me. I've been doing this for 25 years now, so I can claim to be somewhat of an expert.Here are some of my tips to make you appear smart:1. Use words that sound familiar.It is a common misconception that you have to use big-big words to sound smart. If you use very big words, your victim will have no idea what you're talking about and completely switch off. This is also known as MBA-speak. Avoid it. The key is to make your victim think that he *almost* got what you said.So, use words that sound familiar, but don't mean anything. Good examples of such words are "edothermic", "biomechanical", "macro-economy" and "data-mining". Nobody knows what these words mean, so they're safe to use.Example:V...
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Yeddyurappa's Fate
2007-11-19 18:55:00
Our less-than-a-week old Chief Minister of Karanataka resigned yesterday. I mean, he hardly had time to re-arrange the furniture in his office, let alone transfer bureaucrats. Deve Gowda's antics notwithstanding, I feel really sorry for our (former) Chief Minister. Doesn't it seem that fate is playing a weird game with him? And like a sucker, Mr. Yeddyurappa keeps falling into the traps his fate sets him out.I mean, think about it. First, Yeddyurappa's Fate gets him the most number of seats in the election.Yeddyurappa's Fate: "Hey dude! Look, I won you the most amount of seats!"Yeddyurappa: "Awesome! Can I be the CM now?"Yeddyurappa's Fate (snickering): "Not yet. You have to first do chamchagiri to the party that didn't even get the majority."Yeddyurappa: "Bummer!"And so, Yeddyurappa makes a pact with the JD(S), all the while still hoping to be the CM.Yeddyurappa: "I made a pact with them. Can I be the CM now?"Yeddyurappa's Fate: "No, you have to let the other guy be the CM f...

Charming Chitradeep
2007-11-18 17:49:00
It is first year of college, and there is a knock-out girl in our batch. Everyone is dying to get an intro to this girl, lets call her Doorna. Also hot in pursuit were Chitradeep and I, and after much promises of treats and lending of lab records for copying, we finally managed to convince a common friend to make introductions.Back then, we had a very strange idea of what chics are impressed by.Common Friend: "Hey Doorna, meet Chitradeep!"Doorna: "Hi!"Chitradeep: "I got a 99 in Maths in 10th Standard!"Doorna: "Oh?"Common Friend: "...and this is Aditya"Me: "I know how to drive a bike! In 3rd gear, that too!"Needless to say, Doorna was not very impressed with either of us, but that didn't stop Chitradeep from day-dreaming about her.Chitradeep: "The two of us are like cos and sin. We compliment each other! We're like 2 sides of a triangle!"Me: "She's hardly aware of you existence man! And, by the way, a triangle has 3 sides."Chitradeep: "Yeah. The third side is this evil world, who ...
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Cartoon - 15 Nov 07
2007-11-16 03:57:00
This post is a comic strip. If you can't see the image, please click here.Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
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Misc: Search with Custom search on PointlessWanderings!
2007-11-16 00:38:00
Hi Folks,I've added Google's Custom Site-Search engine to my blog. That means you can now search over the entire content of this blog and the articles using the search box you see to the right. That's right! If you're looking for that magical poem to propose to your GF, or my theories about Global Warming, you can find it with your fingertips!Try it now: Google Custom Search:Happy searching! Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
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Sachin and the Curse of the 90s
2007-11-15 18:21:00
What is the deal with Sachin Tendulkar and the 90s? I mean, he seems to play really well till he gets to the 90s, and then boom -almost with clock like predictability- gets out. 99 the other day, 97 yesterday. I mean, what's going on?Most people seem to believe that there is a curse on him (like the curse of the Mummy), but I didn't believe that. And so, to find the truth, I applied my super-hero reasoning skills to this puzzle, and came up with these possible explanations:1. He's trying to impress the chicks.In politics, this would be called getting the 'sympathy vote'. I'll bet he goes home after every match and says to his wife:Sachin: "Ooo....booohooo...I didn't get my century again today. Nobody loves me. :( :("His Wife: "There, there. Don't be upset..."Sachin: "Can you make me some Aloo Paratha today so that it improves my mood? I'd really like some Chutney with that too...You know, to make the grief go away."His Wife: "Well.......OK......"Sachin: "And also, can we no...
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Aditya's Advice Column - 2
2007-11-14 19:07:00
And today, we return to Aditya's Advice Column !Q: I'm a big fan of Rakhi Sawant, and I tremendously enjoy her work. I want to put up posters of her in my room, but my parents disapprove strongly. What should I do?- KDear K,You describe a subject very close to my heart, and in many ways, I have faced the same problem as you have. The solution, as is the case to all problems of this class, is deception.I would recommend buying posters of Rakhi Sawant and cutting them into the size of a book. Then, stick it into the middle pages of your book. Make sure that the book is something boring, like 'Technical Specifications of J2ME 5.1', so that your parents don't ever open it. Another interesting thing you can do is to print out a Rakhi Sawant poster on one of those semi-transparent sheets that you get these days. Then, paste the sheet on the inside of your helmet visor. This way, you can see not only the road, but also Rakhi Sawant when you are driving. I can imagine this being a trem...

How I became Vegetarian
2007-11-13 18:23:00
About a year ago, I was visiting China. I'd just gotten off the plane, and had ventured out into the City with a couple of friends looking for Lunch. We had been thoroughly warned of the difficulty of finding edible food in China, but I brushed aside all those warnings. To be a true traveler, you have to live like the locals. When in Rome, do like the Romans. What I soon realised was that whoever said that never visited China.So the three of us walk into this restaurant. At least it looked like a restaurant from the outside, but when we entered, there was a line of fish tanks on either side of a long corridor. Just as we were wondering how we managed to get into an aquarium, a cheerful young lady walked up next to a couple of locals who were standing in front of us. They seemed to be deciding which fish to buy as a pet for their little nephew back home. One of the guys pointed to a fish, and the other guy nodded in agreement.The hostess then proceeded to open the top of the fish ta...
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Movie Review: Om Shanti Om and Saawariya
2007-11-12 18:21:00
This year's Diwali came with much anticipation for all of us, especially for the Wife: We were finally going to get to watch Om Shanti Om and Saawariya . The Day couldn't come sooner. The marketers of the movie were in overdrive, advertising the movie like crazy. It was almost like they wanted everyone to go and watch the movie on the first day itself, before anyone had time to publish reviews. Now why would they do that?Finally the Diwali day came, and we rushed through the unimportant things - like doing the pooja and bursting crackers - and drove right to the theater. And there we stood, with 300 of our fellow movie lovers (read: poor, confused souls) eagerly awaiting to see Shahrukh's 6-pack. Three hours later, I was a changed man!Om Shanti Om is the most confused movie of the year. It's almost like the scriptwriters took the scripts of some 4-5 old hindi movies, stuffed them along with some crackers, burst the scripts to pieces. Then, they sent out some interns to interview...
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Guest Post: Atif Responds!
2007-11-11 04:58:00
My readers will remember Atif, the Finance Wizard, who I slandered a while ago. He's taken up the challenge to respond, and come up with this comic strip:This post is a comic strip. If you can't see the image, please click here.Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
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Fashion
2007-11-09 06:34:00
I really don't understand this Fash ion Business. My tiny brain can't make any sense out of it. I'm what you'd call a fashion-aethist. I just don't believe in Fashion.How can a Red Shirt not "go" with a Pink Pant? It smells of racism to me. Our forefathers fought hard for our independence and I will stand for the rights of the Red Shirt to go with whatever Pants it pleases. Give me freedom from the tyranny of "color combinations" or give me death, I always say. "Freedom to all the colors", that should be our motto.But my campaign for the right of various colored Shirts and Pants to co-exist has not gone down so well with the Wife. The other day, I was wearing a crumpled up shirt, and supposedly that's not right. Apparently, it needs to be ironed before it can be worn. So let me get this straight: You'd torture the shirt with a burning red-hot iron, douse it with steam and remove all the lines and creases that define the personality of a shirt, all in the name of fashion? And n...

Drinivas Responds: Guest Blog Post
2007-11-06 17:46:00
Today's blog post is by a Guest Blog ger. My dear friend, Drinivas, upset over some things I wrote about his academic achievements on this blog, demanded that he be allowed to tell the other side of the story, to expose the real PK. And I've obliged.--------------------------------- --- By Srinivasa S:Getting through to PK is a nightmare even when talking face to face, but here's what you can expect when you desperately want to talk to him over phone:Instance 1:[Poor me] : <Dialing 2573xxxx> --> Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring...<no answer>Instance 2:[Poor me] : <Dialing 2573xxxx> --> Ring...Ring...[PK's Sister] : Hello?[Poor me] : Can I speak to Aditya please?[PK's sister] : Is it Srinivas, by any chance?[Poor me] : Yeah....[PK's sister] : heohoehohahahaahah!!!!(She's so used to PK not being home whenever I call, that she bursts out laughing!)Instance 3:[Poor me] : <Dialing 2573xxxx> --> Ring...Ring...Ring...Ring...<no answer>[Poor me] : <Di...
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My Get-Rich-Quick schemes
2007-11-05 11:35:00
Back when I was in College, I was always short on money. My parents only gave me so much pocket money, and the Snooker place charged by the hour, so I constantly needed more money. Being in College is a little bit like being a compulsive gambler - You always need more money. And so, I hatched several Get-Rick-Quick schemes while in College to get around my chronic poverty.My first major scheme to have any success was re-selling books. I found this shop in Avenue Road that would buy back used Engineering Text books from students, and sell them to the new students for a cheaper price. They would pay only 60 paise to the rupee when buying the book back. But if the Rupee is coming from someone else, the whole 60 paise is profit!I went and told my dad that I was very interested in learning new things, and wanted money to buy books to expand my 'horizons of knowledge'. He was suspicious at first, but thought that I've turned over a new leaf, and gave me the money. I took the money and ...
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100th Post!
2007-11-05 05:59:00
Holy Crap! I've managed to write my 100th post on this blog. I started writing here because the wife threatened to kill me if I told her any more of my silly jokes, and I thought, "What better way to dump dis-knowledge on unsuspecting people than to write a blog!" It's been a fun ride, and I hope to keep doing it.What has shocked me, though, is the amount of time people spend on this blog! Since it started, this blog has received nearly 14,000 hits and people have cumulatively spent some 42,000 minutes on the blog! If all you readers were one person, that's almost one full month.Think about the implications. I've managed to waste 42,000 minutes of productivity! And according to this and this, it translates into a $6000 or about Rupees 2.35 Lacs in lost productivity! That makes me very happy. I've managed to waste *significant* amounts of useful time and have done my little part to damage the global economy. Woohooo!I'd like to thank all of you for coming here and spending (was...
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How to win Arguments
2007-11-03 18:50:00
Previously on the blog, I taught you how to be a Philosopher and how to be a Fake Cricket fan. And to continue this series, I will today show you how to get the upper hand in arguments.1. Use the "Sky is Blue" argumentWhen most people are in an argument, they will refuse to accept anything you say. To get around this problem, make an argument that is obviously true. Note that it doesn't have to do anything with what you're discussing. Once your opponent accepts any one thing you say, you've broken them.Example: Victim: "...and so, Global warming is real." You: "Aaha..But, you've forgot one important thing: The Earth rotates and revolves simultaneously" Victim: "Eh? How is that..." You: "Do you agree or not? ARE YOU DENYING THAT THE EARTH REVOLVES AROUND THE SUN?" Victim: "No, I agree, but..." You: "I'm glad you agree with me and what I have to say: Global warming is a myth. Nice talking to you. Bye, now"2. Deny the assumptions and create new Facts Contrary to popular beliefs,...

Cartoon 2 Nov 07
2007-11-02 07:19:00
This post is a comic strip. If you can't see the image, please click here.Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved. Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
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Firecracker Experiments!
2007-11-02 05:19:00
Diwali is that magical time of the year where you are legally allowed to create loud noise and generally be a nuisance to everybody. Oh, the joys!Back when we were in school, we used to look forward to Diwali months in advance. We used to even plan out what kind of crackers to get, which ones were new this season and plan out, in detail, how to expend the crackers over the 3 days that we'd be allowed to play with them.My favorite was always the rocket. I just love how the thing shoot up straight into the sky. I especially liked the ones that explode when they go up. But I used to get irritated that these rockets went up only so much, and not all the way up to the stratosphere. Then one day, I decided to do something about it.Me and two of my friends who lived nearby came up with a brilliant plan - We'll tie together 3 rockets.Me: "Yeah, lets stick them together with cello-tape."Kid #1: "Wow! That should send them real high. Maybe we'll hit a eagle with out rocket"Kid #2: "Or mayb...
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Jet Lag
2007-10-31 07:23:00
Jet Lag is a common phenomenon. Lots of people apparently have trouble sleeping when they suddenly make large time-zone shifts. My sister even claims to feel jet lag when traveling from Mumbai to Bangalore (because of the 3-degree change in longitude, apparently).Jet lag itself doesn't seem to affect me much, but I suffer from what I call Food Jet-Lag. I'm surprised that other people don't. My stomach has trouble adjusting to the timezone more that my brain does. That kinda makes sense, because my stomach is the center of my thoughts, and my brain is asleep all the time anyway.So, I recently got back from the US auf A. The first day went by without any problem, I had dinner and went off to sleep.Then, at 2:30 AM, I hear some strange noises. I wake up with a start. It's my tummy growling. It thinks it is Lunch Time. The wife is sound asleep. And to make things worse, the voices in my head start talking too.Voice #1: "I'm in the mood for Pizza!"Voice #2: "Yeah. How about a thin-...

Aditya's Advice Column
2007-10-28 08:19:00
Starting this week, I'm going to do all of humanity a great service and start an advice column. To kick off this week, there are some questions people have asked me often. Some names have been changed to protect the guilty.My Boss keeps asking me to do work, and that leaves me with no time to read your blog. What should I do? - ArvindI feel for you my friend. I can't believe there are still barbaric people in this world that prevent ordinary, honest people like you from reading blogs at work. This is a clear violation of basic human rights.Here's what I recommend you do:When your boss is out for a Coffee break, go to his Comp. Open up Outlook, Word and some other applications. Then take a screenshot of the screen and save it as a JPEG. And then, close all the applications, hide all the desktop icons and set this image as the desktop background.When your boss comes back, he'll click all over the desktop wondering why is his comp is not responding. He'll restart a few times, the ...
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Digital Voice Recorder!
2007-10-25 20:04:00
Hey everyone! I'm sorry I've not been posting regularly. But I've been really busy playing with my latest electronic toy - A Digital Voice recorder.This thing has me totally hooked. It allows me to record anything, anytime and play it back later. I always carry it around. It's fun to hear my own voice. Just think of all the things you can do! You can send the voice recorder to all your meetings where it will record what everyone said, so that you can ignore it later. Also, you can use the time you saved by doing more productive things, like reading this blog.But the best part is that now I can tell jokes to myself. Usually, it's difficult to laugh at your own jokes. Kinda like tickling yourself. But this way, I can tell a joke to myself, and then play it back later when I'm feeling down. My own jokes sound so much funnier when I hear them later!I feel so bad for not having this when I was in College. I could have sent this to the class and gone playing snooker.Me: "Prof, I'm ...
More About: Recorder , Corder , Cord

Best Student - Part 2
2007-10-24 02:02:00
[Part 1 of this series is here]As I made my way to the front of the stage from the last row of the auditorium, I was wondering how this could be possible! Did I really win the "Best Outgoing Student "?I had a bad feeling about this. I kept thinking that as soon as the HOD saw me, she'd say:HOD: "Oh, YOU are Aditya Kulkarni? I thought it was that skinny guy with glasses that has 100% attendance. I'm sorry, this award is not for you. You can go back and sit now."Or maybe as I got on the stage, they'd say:HOD: "Aditya has always been outstanding - Standing out of the class, that is! Harharhar..."Or the HOD would sayHOD: "We decided to give this award to him to make sure he takes it and never comes back here again!"But nothing of that sort happened. I went on stage, was given the award and (some cash prize too!). I, however, did notice the "Bastard-I'll-Kill-You" look on Drinivas's and Dwetha's faces. I tried to avoid them for the next several weeks.That didn't help though. In the...

College Awards
2007-10-23 04:49:00
Back in College , they used to give out this "Best Outgoing Student Award" every year. There were two frontrunners for that award in our batch.This first guy, lets call him Drinivas, was easily the smartest guy in the class. The second contender, lets call her Dwetha, had a photographic memory, and had straight first-ranks.So in the final year, the day of the awards ceremony finally came, the whole college is sitting in the massive auditorium, and the Head-of-the-Department is on stage, about to make the announcement for this year's award.HOD: "We have a very special winner for the award this year..."Drinivas is getting very nervous with anticipation. He adjusts his tie. Finally, the peak of his academic career is here. Winning this award will complete his Engineering degree.Dwetha is on the edge of her seat. She's wondering what she's going to do with the award money. Maybe buy some shoes.I'm sitting in the very last row of the auditorium, telling jokes about chicken and frogs.H...
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The Adventures of Chitradeep Chetty
2007-10-21 00:22:00
I knew this guy in college, lets call him Chitradeep Chetty*. This guy had one of the most colorful lives I've ever known. He couldn't speak a word of Hindi, but that didn't stop him from taking Hindi as a subject in College. He'd just sit in class and while away time, telling jokes about how chickens crossed the road.So one day Chitradeep and I are sitting in Hindi class, having a good time. The prof is getting increasingly frustrated with the volume of our laughter, but that doesn't slow us down.Me: "I got another one. What ad did the Chicken put in the matrimonial section?"Chitradeep: "Tell me..."Me: "Age no bar, eggs bar bar"Chitradeep (laughing hysterically): "Hehoehehaohahahaha...*snort*...hehehe"At this point, the prof looses his patience. He yellsProf: "CHITRADEEP CHETTY! Stand Up!"And Chitradeep stands up, pretending to be mortified.Prof: "?? ???? ?? ?? ????? ???? ???" (What do you think of yourself?)There are 2 problems happening here, simultaneously. Chitradeep doesn...
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So, What are your Hobbies?
2007-10-18 23:45:00
"So, What are your hobbies?"This is my most-hated question of all time. It is also the question that I get asked the most frequently. Usually, when you meet a new person, after the initial introductions and "where do you work?"-talk, this question inevitably comes up.Have have never been able to patiently explain to anyone that I don't have any hobbies. Everyone expects you to have meaningful hobbies that help you grow as a person - Like Carpentry or Reading Philosophy or studying the history of Stamps.The closest I've come to a hobby is collecting comic books, but apparently that misses the whole "personal growth" thing. I inevitably get asked "How old are you again?" when I tell anyone I collect comic books.I usually want to tell people that my hobby is: "I like collecting dried blood from dead insects that I like to kill with my bare hands". At least they won't ask any more questions after that. I tried this a couple of times, but I'm really scared someone will say "Me too!" ...
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Open Letter to ICC
2007-10-17 21:35:00
Dear ICC,My name is Aditya and I am an avid cricket fan and a voracious cricket blogger. I write to you today with much hope and anticipation, about some new idea me and the readers of my blog have come up with, to take the game of cricket to the next level.Cricket, in my humble opinion, needs more drama and, more importantly, melodrama. We need to take a leaf out of the reality shows and soap-operas on TV to innovate ourselves. What we need is more conflict, crying, dancing and a general display of a range of uncontrolled emotions. Sort of like Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi meets Die Hard meets The Phantom of the Opera. You have to agree that this is a great idea.To this effect, I am proposing a few more rules that can be added to the game.1) 1-dic and 2-dic with house-outAll the readers of my blog have unanimously agreed that this innovation from gully cricket should be accepted into mainstream. What we can do is this:- Put a House in the middle of the field, somewhere near deep ...
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Blog Action Day
2007-10-16 08:02:00
Apparently, yesterday was "Blog Action Day". It's about "Bloggers all over the world unite for a single cause - The Environment". And I found out about it today. Late as usual. But there are several things about this I don't get.Firstly, I don't like the idea of "action". It's against my religious principles. Besides, the very reason I'm writing a blog is because I'm too lazy and soaked in inaction to get up and do anything more useful with my life. If there was even a remote possibility of me *ever* getting up and "acting", I wouldn't be writing a blog in the first place.Secondly, what's wrong with the Environment? I just looked out of the window, and it's still there. And I'm pretty sure it'll be there tomorrow also. What's everyone so hyper about? They'all say the world is getting hotter. Well, Duh! Obviously, it's because of the sizzling Rakhi Sawant.And thirdly, who decides these things anyway? Even the holiday-deciding people are weirdos. How come there's a Moth...

How to carry 100 Kgs of shopping
2007-10-15 03:51:00
In this post, I'll share with you some lessons that I recently learnt from the wife, the hard way, about how to successfully carry more than 100 Kgs of stuff back to India from your latest US trip.Lets say you went on a Shopping Spree when you were in the US, and bought way more stuff than the Airlines will let you carry back. What do you do? For the record, most airlines will allow you 2 bags of 32Kgs each, but what if you've bought well over 100Kgs of stuff. What do you do now?Here are 4 easy steps to getting all that stuff back to India without paying *any* excess baggage fee. All you need is a little bit of cunning and trickery and an unsuspecting husband.Step 1: Stuff your own bags to the absolute limit.This step requires some super skills and a total disregard for the laws of Physics. You stuff your bags until they can take no more. Then you stuff them even more. You keep on stuffing until you have enough density to be dangerously close to creating a black hole.Step 2: Take...
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An Ode to the Buffalo
2007-10-12 23:46:00
O great big buffalo, how mighty you areRuling the planet like a powerful czar.You've made your kingdom in the city of BangaloreWe beg for your help, we can't take it anymore.Majestically, you sit in the middle of the roadJamming traffic, disrupting your heavenly abode.Bravely, here I come with a suggestion for youAll those pedestrians, please haunt them too.Just look how much the traffic has grownThe footpath is now your ultimate throne.We're here to pray, please spare us your wrathGo and terrorize the people on the footpath! Thanks for reading! For more wanderings, visit http://www.pointlesswanderings.com/. Click on the title to comment. Copyright © 2007, Aditya Kulkarni. All rights reserved.
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Traffic Everywhere
2007-10-11 23:00:00
They say there are 2 things that are guaranteed in life. Death and Taxes. I want to add a third to the list: Traffic .Traffic and I seem to have a never-ending love affair. It keeps following me everywhere, never letting me go, always behind me and haunting me.Traffic is really everywhere. There's this highway here called the '101'. It's Silicon Valley's equivalent of Bangalore's Hosur Road. Now, this is a nice 5-lane-each-direction highway, but it looks like a parking garage during rush hour. Full of cars going at two-and-a-half kmph. And at one of the exits, you have to wait at the same signal -three times- to cross it. Aahh....just like Marathalli bridge in Bangalore. And the other day, they'd dug up 2 lanes of this highway causing even more traffic jams - just like the roads back home. It felt so good. I think I've developed an emotional attachment with the 101.But traffic out here is boring. You have to sit and twiddle your thumbs and just follow the car in front of you....